Scarlet Pain

A/N: Thanks again for all of your wonderful comments. I\'m glad that everyone likes it so far. On a slightly off topic note, a friend of mine and I are conducting a survey of slashers for an anthropological research project for school (yep, we got to do slash as a research project for school *grin*). Anyways, I\'ll love you forever if you fill it out. As it\'s posted on livejournal, all responses are screened and therefore not viewable by anyone else. So if you are willing, the survey is linked below:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/dkeiser/21836.html#cutid1

Anyways, on to some comment responses.

Hateful and Blue: I\'m glad that you think I\'m keeping within Harry and Sev\'s mind-frames. It\'s so hard, keeping them in character (well, as much is possible for fanfic/slash anyways *grin*).

Sarah: I\'m happy that my writing is improving. Looking back on the first few chapters, I\'d have to agree. Once I\'m done I definately want to do some rewrites. Anyways, I\'m glad you like it so far.

And now, enough of my ramblings. On to the next chapter.

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Scarlet Pain
Chapter 21


When Harry awoke the next morning, the first thing he noticed was that he had finally slept an entire night free of nightmares and pain filled visions. The second thing he noticed was that not only was he not in his own bed in the Gryffindor Tower, but that he was also not the only person in whatever bed he was in.

Harry stiffened and tried to move, but a heavy arm slung over his waist effectively pinned him to the bed. There was no way he was escaping this situation without waking up whoever the other person was. The young man tried to get his breathing under control, sweeping his gaze across the room. With a start, all his memories of the day before returned and he barely managed to stifle a horrified groan. Suddenly not caring if he woke up the Potions Master, Harry bolted from the bed and tried to open the door. It was still undeniably locked. The figure on the bed shifted with a small groan then sat bolt upright just as Harry whirled around to face his professor.

For a moment Severus just stared at him, as if trying to solve a particularly difficult puzzle, and with each passing minute Harry curled in on himself. Oh gods, he knew. Snape knew his secrets, he knew what happened in the middle of the night at Number 4 Privet Drive. Maybe he could Obliviate him...? That idea quickly vanished when the professor lifted up both their wands with a raised eyebrow.

\"Missing something Potter?\" Harry visibly swallowed, and gave a half-hearted glare. Severus sighed and shook his head. Now was not the time for them to be at each other\'s throats. \"As we are stuck here for an indeterminate amount of time, I think a very serious conversation is in order.\"

\"No, I already told you I didn\'t want to talk about it.\" Snape glared at him.

\"Too bad Mr. Potter, because as of last night, you lost your chance to say that.\" Harry\'s eyes widened slightly.

\"But - but you said you wouldn\'t....It\'s none of your business anyways!\"

\"What I said, Harry, was that I\'d leave well enough alone as long as no one was getting hurt. As you are incapable of realizing when you need help, and seem hell-bent on punishing yourself for something that was not your fault, I am making your situation my business.\" Severus stood up and approached the young man. Harry for his part shrank against the wall behind him, his hand scrabbling behind him at the doorknob in a desperate attempt to open the door.

With an unreadable expression Snape reached around Harry and grabbed his writst, pulling him forward into the professor\'s chest. His other hand grabbed the younger man\'s chin and forced him to look him in the eye. Harry\'s angry glare faultered as he pulled against the arms that held him.

\"Are you going to agree to talk to me?\" Severus felt distinctly uncomfortable with the unspoken threat, especially considering he wasn\'t sure if he could really follow through. Harry paled and shut his eyes.

\"Don\'t professor,\" he whispered. \"I won\'t relive those memories.\" Snape sighed, and let him go with a small push towards the only sitting place in the room: the bed. Harry\'s steps faultered a little before he squared his shoulders and sat down. And suddenly the pattern on the duvet was the most interesting thing in the world.

\"Who are you going to tell?\" The Potions Master was bit startled by the question.

\"The Headmaster has to be told.\" He sat down on the bed across from Harry and met the boy\'s frightened stare.

\"No, don\'t tell him,\" Harry stammered. \"He\'ll try to help, but it\'ll only make it worse. I have to go back there, and if he tries to order Vernon around - \" The young man shuddered and looked away. \"Don\'t tell, sir, it\'ll only make it worse.\" Severus was floored.

\"You don\'t actually believe that you have to go back there do you?\"

\"I have to! It has that blood protection thing...\" He trailed off at the professor\'s stormy look.

Snape couldn\'t understand why he was suddenly so furious. Damnit, he wasn\'t supposed to feel at all. Especially not this protective surge of anger at the unfairness and harm that had been done to the boy in front of him.

\"Protection?! You call that protection? If you think that you are stepping one foot in that house alone again, then you are seriously mistaken young man!\" Harry was speechless, other than the few times he\'d witnessed one of his friends\' tirades, he\'d never seen anyone get so angry in his defense. The reality of situation barely seemed real, and for some reason, he couldn\'t completely believe his professor.

\"Professor, I need that blood magic to avoid Voldemort. It\'s not that bad there,\" he faultered at the furious glare and rushed on. \"No really, I mean it\'s not perfect but I\'m still alive right? I can do magic outside of school now too...you only saw the worst,\" he glanced away, completely unable to lie to his professor. \"Don\'t make it worse by telling.\" The silent please at the end was almost too audible for Harry\'s comfort. He would not beg this man.

Harry squeaked in surprise when Snape grabbed him by the shoulders again, and couldn\'t hold back the flinch, or the instinctual move to cover his face.

\"You can\'t even hold back a flinch when someone touches you Potter! You have spent this entire year so far jumping at shadows. Not once have you argued, yelled, or shown your usual arrogant insolence towards me, and yes, I have noticed. I am not as blind as others. You are a horrible liar, Potter, so don\'t even attempt to tell me that was the worst.\" Severus drew a shaky breath and loosened his bruising grip a fraction, much to Harry\'s relief. \"You. Will. Not. Be. Going. Back. There. Period. No student of mine will be forced to live with abusive relatives that bring in a rapist\" - he spit out the word with more disgust than Harry thought possible - \"to \'control\' their....a child in their care when using their fists doesn\'t work!\"

Harry lost all color. Except for Ron\'s one time slip, no one, not even himself, had used the \"R\" word in relation to what had been going on with him. He figured that as long as nothing was admitted, he could live as if it hadn\'t happened. But he couldn\'t could he? No matter what he told himself, it had still happened, and all his actions since had reflected that. Unable to think of anything to say, unable to deny the cold hard truth, Harry latched on to the first random thing that popped into his mind.

\"They didn\'t know,\" he whispered. \"They didn\'t know that he...that he...did those things to...All Vernon knew was that I was...that I didn\'t like him.\"

\"Merlin, you can\'t even admit it can you?\" Snape didn\'t know if he\'d ever seen a case this bad. Maybe a few children of Death Eaters, but even Draco, who was the son of the Dark Lord\'s right hand man was able to verbalize about what few instances he\'d been subjected to.

Harry drew his knees up and curled his arms around himself protectively. There was a very short silence, broken suddenly by Harry\'s cold humorless laugh.

\"It\'s kind of ironic isn\'t it? People\'s families are supposed to love unconditionally right? Mine doesn\'t, but that\'s okay cause the rest of the wizarding world seems to. I\'m supposed to save the world and I can\'t even wash a car right, or cook a meal without mishap, let alone brew something as intricate as a potion,\" he let out giggle that sounded downright wrong in Snape\'s opinion. \"And you know, here I am complaining when you go out every week to work as a spy. You do more work than most in this war, and yet it\'s me who\'s expected to save everyone.\"

Snape wanted to interrupt, to get Harry back onto topic, but something stopped him when he saw the young man\'s eyes glaze over as if he was watching something far away.

\"My mum saved me and destroyed Voldemort, not me. I\'ll never be as strong as she was you know.\"

\"Potter, what happened to you over the summer?\" Harry glanced at his professor before looking away.

\"Nothing.\"

\"Potter,\" his voice held a clear warning.

\"Nothing important. You already saw anyways. Vernon hates me, fears me even more cause he thinks I\'m out to destroy his family as revenge against my treatement as a child, so he let me become his friend\'s trained pet,\" Harry suddenly choked, and he couldn\'t stop the fact that his heart-rate sky-rocketed, that he couldn\'t breath, the fear slowly taking over as the edges of his vision blurred. \"Oh god.\" He tried to get air into his lungs. \"I swear on Merlin\'s grave I wasn\'t trying to hurt anyone. I didn\'t mean for any of it, I didn\'t ask for it.\" His body shuddered. \"He died, they died, and I didn\'t mean to. Why did he leave me? What did I do? What was I supposed to do? Collins is a muggle, I couldn\'t fight him, I couldn\'t use magic in front of him, I would have gotten in trouble. And there was always blood on my hands...\" Severus could barely understand Harry\'s words as they continued to pour out of his mouth. In fact, Snape was finding it difficult to follow what the young man was even refering to he was babbling so much. One thing was for certain though, if he continued on, the young Gryffindor was going to pass out from hyperventilating.

Harry suddenly felt strong arms pry him out of his protective ball, one hand calmly rubbing his back. Everything was so confusing, what was going on? Nothing made sense anymore. Where was that blessed darkness when he needed it? As if called, Harry found himself slowly drifting off to sleep, the smooth motion of Snape\'s hand on his back soothing him into unconciousness.

Severus placed Harry back on the bed and got up to pace. He needed to find a way out of this blasted room and soon. The more and more time he spent around the boy the more confused about his own feelings he got. Professors, but more importantly spies that spent a considerable amount of time in the presence of the Dark Lord, should not become attached to their students, especially Harry Bloody Potter. Snape sighed and continued to pace, every once in a while giving a furtive glance in the direction of his charge in the corner.

\"Blast it,\" he whispered to himself and leaned heavily against the wall. One thing was for sure, certain people were going to be taking a lesson in pain as soon as Severus could get a few hours of freedom. No one got away with those types of crimes, especially against a child. His eyes gleamed in a way they hadn\'t since he had defected from Voldemort\'s ranks.


TBC