I, Snape

Chapter 21- Things That Make a Snape Happy

It all belongs to Rowling, except what you don’t recognize.

“Professor Snape. Oh, Professor Snape!”

Yesterday afternoon, I was up in my favorite tree. I watched her come into the garden. She called me, but that was our game. I wouldn’t reveal myself; she’d have to find me. Oh, and it was such a tempting thought to jump down and give her the scare of her life.

Then she looks up, and looks straight at me. “I win, Professor. I spy with my little eye.” I use my sharp talons to get down.

I came quite close to her and I transformed back. Staring at her menacingly, I folded my arms. “Professor Granger. How did you spot me?” I demanded.

“Well, Professor Snape. You have come quite a ways, but your tail was still green.” I mentally shrugged. In the past year or so I truly had improved my skills, but the color shifting was still my bete noir, forgive the pun. I flicked out my tongue at her, just as I would when I was a chameleon and she dissolved into giggles.

A year ago I would have reddened at the thought of such silliness, but I’m no longer such a scaredy-cat. It’s a simple equation. Stand on one’s dignity and live alone, or throw all caution to the wind and be the recipient of her most delicious favors.

“Your parents are here.” She smiled weakly.

I moaned. “They didn’t bring the no-necked carpet vole, did they?”

“Yes, your brother Alexandrius is with them. Come on, I thought you were beginning to like him.” She took me by the arm and started to head into the castle.

“But he urinated on me last time.” Loosening up is one thing, butre wre were some things that I simply would not stand for.

“That’s what they do at seven months.” Professor Granger smiled even more. And I couldn’t help but to smile back. If my no account little brother served any function at all, besides spitting up and doing horrendous things in it’s nappy, it was to incite baby hunger in Professor Granger. And this, I hoped, would be to my advantage.

It had been a year and several months since I returned from Las Vegas, again risking life and limb on the infernal Knight Plane. When I arrived at Hogwarts, I found the wards on my rooms gone. I went inside, and was not quite sure if I was actually in the right place. There were no books, no journals, no empty bottles, and no coffee mugs in my living room. There was a clean worktable, a sofa that I’d forgotten I’d possessed, though it had been in the room all along, two armchairs, footrests and a coffee table. There was a fire in the grate that had nicely warmed the room. The ever-present chill seemed to have fled.

I had forgotten I had a rug, I hadn’t seen it in at least a decade. It was clean as new. The amazing transformation of my rooms led to a spark of hope that perhaps Miss Granger wished to stay with me.

I easily walked to her room, there being vast amounts of space to navigate in. I knocked on her door, and it swung open. Her room had been transformed into a library! From ceiling to floor on all four walls, bookcases were filled with my books, all arranged with as much care as if Madame Pince had been there. I shivered; I didn’t want to remember her! Still, there was no sign of Miss Granger, although there was a chaise lounge in front of the fire that I could imagine her using to recline and read. I supposed she’d transfigured her bed to that purpose.

My breath caught in my throat with anxiety as I prepared to enter my bedroom. I swung open the door, and discovered that my bed had been changed. It was now fairly large with a counterpane of forest green and scarlet. I walked around it, not quite believing my eyes! I went to my wardrobe closet and opened the door. It had been charmed to be much larger on the inside than out. Indeed, there was room for all of my robes—and hers! I turned around and there she was. My wonderful Miss Granger.

“How do you like it?” She looked flushed with excitement. I drew breath, and then did the smartest thing of my life. I took the time to think. And it came to me what might be the right thing to say.

“I love you.” I put out my hands to her and she came to me. I put my arms around her and rested her head on my shoulder.

“I’m glad you like it,” she said. Thereby establishing that one didn’t have to lie to keep one’s beloved happy. One simply had to say the right thing.

We kissed, and I swept her off her feet and carried her to our bed. I did like the sound of that-- “Our Bed.”

I continued to kiss her, stroking her hair and breathing in her fragrance. I pulled her robes up and over her head and nuzzled her breasts. I felt myself grow hard with desire as her nipples peaked under my tongue. I kissed her throat and then covered her mouth with mine. She tasted sweet and luscious. I caressed her breasts and then trailed my hand down her to her thighs. She thrust her hips up and moaned into outhouth as I moved her panties aside to let my finger enter her. She was juicy!

Abandoning her mouth, I went down to taste her. I quickly removed her knickers and pulled her legs up and over my shoulders. And then I sucked on her clitoris and held her hips in place while she wiggled under my lips. I devoured her sweet honey.

“I need you now,” she rasped and I hastily threw off my clothes. I felt the need to do something special to celebrate our reunion, so I turned her onto her stomach and raised her beautiful arse up with some pillows. She looked around at me and her eyes were large with trepidation. My penis slowly entered her lovely cunny and I nibbled on her nape.

My wanton goddess squirmed under me and I stoked her and stroked her until she came in a fit of orgasmic bliss. I sped towards my own completion and we collapsed in a satiated tangle of limbs.

Sometime later, as I held her in my arms, she explained the plan.

“First, I’ve gotten Prof. McGonagall to agree to give you private Animagus classes. She said she couldn’t guarantee you’d be a cat; these things are beyond one’s control. Second, I will be taking Madame Pince’s place in the library, but only until you’ve trained me as your successor. I think I have it in me to do as good a job as you’ve done teaching potions. I always enjoyed tutoring and I do think teaching will suit me. Professor Dumbledore has already agreed, and il gol goes well, next year you will be teaching DADA and I will be the new potions mistress at at Hogwarts!”

I stared at her, hoping that the next item of her plan would be her agreeing to marry me. After all she seemed to have everything else tied up. She produced a piece of paper and gave it to me saying,

“Your appt. is for 10 AM Monday. Be prompt.”

&&&

The time I have spent with her has been the happiest time of my life. Still it occurs to me, that Wrongway Trelawney had blundered in her prophesy about the Potter brat. It was Miss Granger who should have been sent out to defeat the Dark Lord. She could have done it as a first year, blindfolded and with her hands tied behind her back. That is the power of this little Muggleborn witch with whom I am proud to share my life.

At our first Halloween Ball, we danced every dance together. I wore my usual black robes and she looked splendid in her gold and green gown.

But last night was our second Halloween Ball together and she wanted more. And so I gave her more. She wanted to go as Columbine and she asked me to dress as her Harlequin. Normally I would never have compromised my dignity like that. But I needed to prove to her that I am her man and that I am worthy of her. And so I went in patchwork and domino, with my wand transfigured into a slapstick.

And near the end of the ball, I brought her into the rose garden, which was lit by a full moon. I kneeled in front of her and gave her a ring with a diamond on it. I’d read about this in a Muggle magazine. It’s always good to study your prey, I mean, learn about the woman you love. This time, on bended knee, I again begged her to marry me. I slipped the ring on her finger and she didn’t remove it. She said, “I’ll think about.” And then we kissed and danced to the music wafting from the castle, my little Columbine and I.

The next day I saw she still wore my ring. I looked her in the eye and again asked her, “Will you marry me?” And she said, “Yes!”

&&&

“Well, congratulations, Severus. But still I am curious. Is there a point to this story?”

“Yes, Dr. Falco. Now that Miss, er… Professor Granger has agreed to be my bride. Perhaps now would be a good… good time to terminate therapy?

The good doctor begins to hum. His humming increases, it seems like he has a mouthful of bees, which would at any moment come raging out of his mouth to attack us both! He always does this. As long as I’m angry with my mother, my father, my damnable step-daddy and half-brother-- As long as I am raging against my past and providence, he doesn’t say a word. There is just the occasional snort, or perhaps snore, I’m not sure. But let me try and say some thing happy, like I enjoy being a lizard, and he begins to HUM!!!

I’m hearing him furiously turning parchment, and I try to see over the back of the couch where I am lying. And then he speaks,

“So here we are at a major crossroads. You are about to transition from the role of being lover to husband and even, perhaps, father.”

“That’s right, and I feel quite confident that I can make Professor Granger happy.”

“Hermione.”

“What?”

“You’ve been lovers for well over a year now and you are still calling each other by your titles.”

“Ah. Yes. Well, it’s just more--”

“Exciting that way?”

“Quite.” And I listen to more humming. And then, “Have you met those parents of hers, the ones you keep calling the Muggle spawn?”

“That was just a joke.” I feel rather hurt. I really didn’t know he’d been listening that session. What cheek!

“Joke, Ha. Yes, amusing…. And what about that dream where Prof. Granger’s mother was chasing you all around Hogwarts with a laptop computer and then when she corners you and she takes your wand and snaps it in half?”

“You said yourself that sometimes a wand is just nd.”nd.” I can feel it’s futile to argue.

“And the session before that you dreamt that Lucius Malfoy had come back to life, gained access to Hogwarts via the floo, and cast an Unforgivable on your partner.”

Sweat beads on my forehead. Yes, the nightmares still occasionally come. But they were so much less frequent now.

“Lets talk about role models, Severus. You had your father, whom you still refer to as the stinking bastard. And then there was the Dark Lord, and finally the ‘Old Git who is boffing my mother’. Even though Albus Dumbledore has retired from Hogwarts to continue Flammel’s work, you still seem to resent him.”

“Well, yes, I hate them all.” More humming. He usually stops humming when I admit that I hate them.

“I know that we have come a long way. You’ve finally accepted that your father casting Imperio on you as a six week old infant with colic was inappropriate, as was using threats of Crucio to make you eat your Brussel Sprouts.”

“Yes, I quite agree. I now understand that it’s wrong to use Unforgivables on one’s children or family members.” I felt my left eyelid begin to twitch. More humming. And then,

“Yes, well I see you are much closer to your goals. It would be a shame to go and ruin it all by being too hasty, wouldn’t it?”

“Yes, Dr. Falco.” I sigh. “I can see that now, thank you.”

“Quite all right, my boyo. Schedule the next session with the receptionist and let’s feel free to revisit this issue in about a year or.”
.”

“Very good, doctor. Thank you.”

I get off the couch and shakily leave. If it means continuing to have Prof. Granger in my life, I will do it. Be it walk through fire, crawl on hands and knees through glass, or tolerate the weekly indignities of psychobabbling with Dr. Falco. Anything for Miss Gra… I mean Hermione.

I do it, because I am Snape: the last of the Death Eaters in England and the once most dreaded potions master of Hogwarts, past students still quail when they see me approach. But if I am to keep her now, I must rest on those laurels and accept that those days are forever gone.

Epilogue

It is late at night at Hogwarts. But some creature is stirring. Someone or something is in the Restricted Section of the library and again, another book is tossed to the ground.

Her eyes glow in the dark as she continues her research. One day she will find the answer she is looking for. One day she will find the spell that will return Snape to his feline form and take him away from the fuzzy haired human forever!

Yes, one day it shall happen! thinks Miss Norris and her eyes glow with determination as she hunts for the spell she needs.

A/N: A big hug and very special thanks for everyone who reviewed this story-- And extra thanks to: Talene, AlphaRyoko, Raven, Anon, Peeves, Pauline, Maddy, Lily, Amethyst, Elizabeth, Joyous Trouble and Kim who reviewed Chapter 20.

Again, thank you ‘everyone’ for reading and youryour support.

I just wanted to take a second to say how much I appreciated my chats with Andrian this past summer. While discussing her tale, The Hogws Mes Men Club, I decided I wanted to do a story that was “anti-romance” and had Snape coupled with the women of Hogwarts. Around that same time I had a very vivid image of Hermione singing, To Sir, With Love to Snape as part of a Severus Snape appreciation day. Once Kiristeen created her Marrying Snape Challenge, I had a vehicle for these two ideas. Just thought people would be interested in how my little pea brain comes up with stories.

My regrets to Elyse, Gina and all the others who wanted to see Snape return to a feline state. Got to leave it for a sequel, I guess.

I have an idea for a new HG/SS story, but it will have to wait for the end of the Nanowrimo which I am currently engaged in.

Hugs,

April