Love is Blind

Chapter 19

After awaking to being seduced by his lover, Severus held her to him, sated from the unbelievably wanton display she just gave him. She hadn’t kicked him out of the bed, so he assumed that he had not done anything to scare her. He could lay there with her in his arms forever if he hand the choice. They had been lying like that for over an hour. There was an hour until breakfast. Severus refused to get out of the bad until he absolutely had to. Hermione’s breathing had become slow and steady. He was spooned against her back and he assumed that she had fallen asleep. He realized the contrary when she whispered, “Can you tell me about you and Lily?”

He thought for many moments on how to answer her inquiry. “What do you want to know?” he responded as he ran his fingers softly down her side, settling on her naked hip.

Hermione rolled over so that she was facing him. She could feel his breath on her forehead, he seemed nervous at her question. “Severus, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I was just curious. I know that you did not get along with Sirius, James or Remus. Was it because of Lily?”

“No, I disliked them prior to Lily. They were conceited and thought they ruled the school. I didn’t like Lily for a long time, either. We had the kind of relationship that you and Draco had throughout school.”

“Mutual loathing that eventually turned into something on the complete end of the spectrum?” she chuckled.

“Quite. One time, during my fifth year, Potter and Black were tormenting me. Lily stood up for me and told Potter off, saying she would date the Squid before she would him. I was so embarrassed by what the gits were doing to me, I snapped at her and said something that I regret to this day.”

“What did you say?”

“When I say that our relationship was like yours and Draco’s, it was exactly like that.”

“You called her a mudblood didn’t you?”

His head looked down ashamedly, “Yes. But later I apologized to her for it. It wasn’t until the next fall when we were stuck tutoring each other, but I still apologized. We became fast friends and started dating. As I told you before, she was my first. We only made love once, right after the Halloween Ball. Black found us and that’s when he started the rumors. She barely spoke to me the last year and a half. It crushed me.”

“You really loved her didn’t you?”

“I gave her my heart and it was trampled on. That’s why it is so hard for me to understand what we have.”

“Severus, I love being with you. I just hope that I don’t smother you with it.”

“Smother me, please. If I could be next to you every moment of everyday, I would.” She snuggled closer into his chest, idly running her fingers through the hair there. “Hermione, I am scared out of my mind. I want so much to give you everything I can, but I don’t think I could handle another heartbreak. These feelings I have are stronger than I ever thought possible. I don’t deserve you, but I can’t be without you.” His lips captured hers softly, longingly.

She pulled back breathless. “I’m scared too. I’ve never told anyone that I love them. I’ve always been afraid of those three words. As if, once they escaped my mouth, everything would fall apart in my hands. I know that I have fallen for you. I care for you. I lust after you. I ache when you are away from me. Even before the accident, I would always get excited before I met you in the lab. Not for the work, but just to be near you.”

Severus had to fight the tears trying to escape his eyes. No one other than Lily had ever expressed such strong emotions for him. “I really don’t deserve you,” he muttered into her hair.

“Stop that. If you keep up this self-loathing thing, I will hex you. I can do that now, remember?” she teased.

Severus smiled as he thought of the spells that they had worked on the night before. Hermione had caught on very quickly to the idea of wandless, blind magic. Her concentration was so focused that a simple summoning charm had caused the object to move so fast that she almost didn’t catch it. He knew she was powerful with a wand, but she proved that she had even more than that when her heart and mind were focused. Her wandless magic was beyond anything he could have imagined, and the threat of her hexing him, literally scared the bejesus out of him.

“All right, I will try. I have been abusing myself for so long though, I’m not sure I will be able to stop,” he teased back.

She growled out of frustration aolleolled back over away from him. He placed a small kiss on her shoulder, eliciting a small mewl from her. “Now that you know about my past ‘conquests’,” he snorted. “What about yours? Who was your first?”

She mumbled something indistinguishable. “What?” he asked.

She whispered so low that he could barely hear her, “Draco was my first.” Severus laughed out loud which was cut off abruptly by a sharp elbow to the ribs. “He and I became ‘friends’ after he helped me get away from his father during the final battle.” Hermione shivered slightly. There was so much that she needed to tell Severus about that incident, but could not bring herself to jeopardizing their newfound relationship and what she had to tell him would undoubted do just that.

“I knew he had a thing for you, but I never realized that it went that far.” Severus bated her, but was disappointed when she didn’t take it.

“Well, we ended up going to the same University and had a few Charms classes together. Once Lucius was in Azkaban for good, Draco was a totally different person.”

“So our relationships mirrored each other more that I originally thought?” he teased he and got another sharp elbow in the ribs.

“Let’s get some breakfast before I hex you.” She said as she got up and wandered into the bathroom.

*

The next few weeks went by with little or no excitement; well at least outside of the bedroom, there was little excitement. Hermione would spend her nights with Severus, have in tin the afternoons with Albus, and sometime walk with Remus or Harry around the castle, but would always end up in the potions lab by the time Severus’ classes were over. They worked together seamlessly, like they could read each other’s minds. It was just like when they made love, they knew what the other needed and had it raedy before they asked.

One day they were sitting together in his chambers reading when he let out a gasp. “Severus? Is everything all right?” she asked.

“I – I think I found it,” he said breathlessly.

“Found what?”

Severus moved from his chair and knelt in front of Hermione, taking her hands in his. “Th-There is a potion regimen that may heal your eyes p-properly,” he stuttered.

Her jaw dropped. “You’re serious?”

“There are four potions. The first two soften the tissue over your eyes. The third will supposedly separate the eyelids and the fourth will finish up the healing,” his voice was streaming with excitement. “It takes almost two months for the whole treatment. If I start it this week, you might be seeing before Christmas.”

Hermione was excited about the prospect of her vision being restored, but for some reason she was depressed about it too. Would she and Severus stay together after she was healed? She knew that she wanted to be with him, but if he wasn’t needed to help her, would he stay? She brushed those thoughts away and tried to make herself sound more excited, “Where did you find it?”

“I had two of them in mind already from my regular potions classes. I found the fourth one last week. The one I could find was the one that would separate the lids. I found it in this book. It has to do with Medieval medical charms and potions.”

“Medieval?”

Hermione’s hesitance was obvious to Severus. “It’ll work. I know it will work. Please, Here. Te. Trust me. Let me brew these for you.”

“I trust you with my life, Severus. Lets try it.” She pasted a smile on her face, if he noticed it wasn’t natural, he didn’t say anything.