Standing Against the Tides

Last time I looked at my driver’s license, it did not say J. K. Rowling. Yep, it’s just me, an unpaid and unknown aspiring writer. The characters of the Potterverse do not belong to me and I am making no money from this endeavor.

A/N: Spoilers through OotP. As I am still in denial, I refuse to acknowledge the events of HBP or DH at this point.

Unbeta’d as BabyGurl is busy with her own life.


Chapter 18 The Cards Are on the Table

Severus sighed as he turned back to look at his young companion. The Potions master knew this had to be done, but he just wasn’t sure he would like the outcome. Deciding he might as well be comfortable for this conversation, Severus sat down in his favorite leather club chair and silently regarded the pale young man before him.

After a moment of the intense scrutiny coming from the older man, Harry had had enough. He understood that there was even more that needed to be said, and the professor’s behavior clearly showed that it would not be easy to hear or to say. “Professor,” he began quietly.

Holding up a hand, Severus halted the young man. “Po – Harry, we have learned more about Dumbledore’s manipulations. I must admit to being reluctant to share this information with you, but it is important for you to know.” Long fingers shakily ran through the silky black hair as Severus uncharacteristically scrambled for the right words to say.

For his part, Harry was equally intrigued and worried. He had never seen the older man so agitated before. Angry, yes: irate, definitely. But never had Harry seen the Potions master so uncertain before.

“In reading through the first journal we had found, Minerva and I read that Albus had realized that you have a soul mate. And then he did everything in his power to prevent you and your soul mate from discovering that fact and thus from joining together. By doing so, Dumbledore was able to not only keep you and your mate under his control, but it also served to dampen both soul mates’ powers.”

Deciding that the next part would be hard for both of them to hear, Severus summoned a bottle of scotch and two glasses. Pouring each a glass, he silently handed over one to the younger man. Taking a sip of his own, Severus prayed to whatever deity might be inclined to listen before he continued.

“Harry, Dumbledore discovered that you and I are soul mates and destined to be together. He believed that the second prophecy concerned us and he was determined to prevent us from finding one another. That is why he Obliviated me when you first came to Hogwarts. Dumbledore realized that I had recognized you as my mate and he worked to ensure that I would hate you. Thus, the weekly ‘teas’ with the spells and potions. And as you neared your majority he began to work harder to foster your hatred of me. Albus did not want us to discover the truth about each other. He did not want us to be able to join, thus cementing our bond.” Sitting back, the Potions master carefully observed his soul mate. He had little hope that the younger man would love him, but Severus knew that telling Harry was the right course of action. There would be plenty of time later to nurse his wounds after the young wizard rejected him.

Without thinking, Harry took a large sip of the fiery liquid and sputtered as it coursed down his throat. Shaking his head, Harry felt the alcohol begin to soothe his bewildered mind. Sna – Severus was his soul mate? Was that why he had sometimes caught himself thinking inappropriate thoughts about his professor? Did that explain the all too vivid dreams concerning said man that Harry desperately tried to forget about in the mornings? Feeling the weight of those dark eyes upon him, Harry raised his head and met the older man’s gaze. For long moments Harry stared, trying to detect any hint of mockery or deception in the Potions master’s eyes. Finding nothing but an earnest and somber expression there, Harry closed his eyes and turned away. Finally he found his voice again and quietly asked, “How, when, sir? How did you know about us?”

A bit surprised at the question, Severus paused. Now that he had recovered his memories, he clearly recalled the bittersweet feeling of realization that he had a soul mate out there and then the feelings of disbelief and resignation when he discovered that his soul mate was the young Harry Potter. His voice quiet and unsure, Severus began to tell the man he loved just how and when he had discovered the truth and how he had lost that truth to the old wizard’s schemes and deceptions.


The remainder of the day was spent in near silence as Harry struggled to come to terms with the fact that Severus Snape was his soul mate. All the past years of animosity came crashing down upon him as Harry truly began to grasp just what the old wizard had done to both of them. The young Gryffindor found himself wondering how things might have been between them if Albus had not interfered. Harry had no doubt that his professor would have kept his distance until Harry was older, but might their relationship have been friendlier and closer? Of course, there had been Voldemort to worry about, but surely the Potions master would have at least tried to be civil to Harry?

And how did he himself feel about this? Were these thoughts and feelings the result of the bond being acknowledged? Could he have been happy if he had known before that they were soul mates? Even though he had been too young then, might the fact that he had a soul mate who was waiting for him have made his life more bearable?

Oddly enough, the one thing that didn’t bother Harry was the fact that Severus was his soul mate. He knew enough about soul mates in the Wizarding World to understand that the each was the perfect complement to the other. And neither did the bond create feelings where there were none. Simply put, they would love one another because they were meant to. And Harry could find no wrong in that. No, what did bother him was the fact that so many years had been stolen from them both. At this point Harry didn’t know whether to be angry or sad, or perhaps both.


Severus covertly watched the emotions play across the younger wizard’s face. Ridiculously pleased that obvious disgust and revulsion were missing from his soul mate’s reactions, Severus tried to distract himself by reading his latest copy of ‘Professional Pernicious Potions’. Unfortunately for him, the pull of his young mate overpowered any interest he might have had in the deadly but dry tome. Finally giving it up as a lost cause, Severus stood and summoned a house-elf to bring dinner for the two men.

Dinner was spent as much of the day had been: both men quiet, both quietly watching the other, both missing the longing looks from the other, both silently questioning everything that had happened between them the last few years.

Harry finally spoke later that evening. He had no desire to sleep alone, especially after learning all that he had today. The realization that Severus Snape was his soul mate explained a great many things, particularly why Harry could feel so comfortable around the stern man now. The only real question now was whether the older man would allow Harry back into his bed and into his arms.

Surprised, but secretly delighted that Harry still wanted to be near him, Severus gravely gave his permission for the young Gryffindor to sleep with him once again. Try as he might though, Severus could not help but wish that his soul mate were ready for more than just sleeping in his arms. The pair climbed into the bed and Harry eagerly settled into the strong embrace of the Potions master. Smiling to himself, the new Headmaster of Hogwarts quickly fell asleep. Severus suppressed a moan at the feeling of rightness that having Harry in his arms invoked. For the first time in more years than Severus could remember, he fell asleep with a smile on his face.