Avenging Fire

Snape stood in the darkened corridor, his hand flat on the door leading to his office, regarding the perplexing woman with something akin to both suspicion and curiosity while she stood patiently waiting an answer.


“A drink.” he said as a statement rather than as a prompt for conformation.


“Yes.”


After a moment, a small sneer began twisting the corners of his mouth. He crossed his arms and leaned against the door.


“Or perhaps you could just simply tell me what it is you want and save us both the time.”


Rather than dismissing herself in a huff as he expected, she cocked her head and after a moment, offered her own small smirk.


“Alright then, have it your way. There is something I’d like to show you and ask you about…”


Snape snorted through his nose and began to make opening his door, having his suspicions confirmed.


“…but I would like it if you’d have a drink with me. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have bothered and just asked you my question during your office hours.”


He paused at this and peered at her through the gloom of the dungeon. Except for the Headmaster, his company was usually never sought for socialization. It seemed that former Death Eaters were not especially prized as guests. Albus however seemed to delight in torturing him with teatimes and idle chatter. But that was Albus and not the multitude of others who gave up after the first acidic response.


“Can’t sleep?”


“What?” Her voice interrupted his thoughts. “No.”

“A glass of wine might help with that.”


It might indeed. Normally he swilled Dreamless Draught but it left him drained and still fatigued the next day. Sometimes, if it wasn’t during the week, he had a few tumblers of Firewhiskey. He never indulged himself like Lucius with other spirits and wines. What was the point? He could hear the senior Malfoy’s response.


”Luxuries, old boy, don’t need a reason. They just are.”


Of course, he was referring to the outrageously expensive and rare vintages he collected. Snape doubted that Dr. Nyx had such down in her quarters. He became aware that he was staring at her while deciding if he would curtly dismiss himself or accept her offer. As much as he was loathed to admit, he had grown curious about her. The few times when their eyes had met, he saw intelligence and an almost disconcerting perceptiveness looking back at him. What was lacking however was the disdainful, mocking judgment with which so many others regarded him.

That’s only because she doesn’t know you, Snivellus. Give her time and she’ll see what the rest of us have known forever.

Snape frowned at the voice inside his head which sounded very much like Sirius Black.


“Listen, you can’t sleep, I can’t sleep, so we may as well not sleep together.”


Snape could see Dr. Nyx wince a little at her inadvertent, risqué faux pas. He quirked an eyebrow to stop the snort that was threatening to escape from his throat. Just about the time he was sure that Dr. Nyx was ready to start cursing herself for approaching him, he inclined his head.


“Very well.”


He felt the few degrees drop in temperature as they descended further down into the castle. This part of the castle was not lit except for sparse torchlight, giving it an eerie quality. He himself rarely came down here unless it was to retrieve specialty brewing paraphernalia from storage, which was down another level from where Dr. Nyx was housed. As they turned a corner, light spilled out from her opened door, providing extra illumination.


“Come to think of it, you’re my first guest.” she said cheerily as she motioned to the second armchair, inviting him to make himself comfortable. “Now…wine. Oh, unless you would prefer something else. I have some brandy, or maybe you’d like…”

“Wine is fine, Doctor.” he answered, stealing furtive glances about her quarters. Everything was ordered and tidy except for stacks of journals and books strewn on the desk, chair-side table, and mantle. It didn’t appear that the elves had added her to their cleaning duties or else she had refused their services. He spied the Muggle notebook she was frequently seen with nested in a pile on the chair side table. He finally sat stiffly, not knowing how to arrange himself other than as a rigid statue.


She carefully poured a dark red wine into a goblet and brought it to him. As she drew near, he thought he caught the scent of rosemary. It was replaced with the bouquet rising from the goblet.


“Elderberry?”


“Why yes! My father makes it. It’s been his hobby for…oh, I’d say nearly thirty years now. The previous owner of the house they bought had planted a few elderberry bushes. After a few years, they grew quite large. My father thought it a waste to let all those berries just rot, so he taught himself wine making. My mother sometimes appropriates a few berries for jam making, but quite frankly, I prefer the wine.” She angled her chair so that it faced him more fully and sat down with her own goblet.


After a few tentative sniffs, Severus drank. It would be unfair to compare it to any of the wines that association with the Malfoys allowed him to partake of, but it was more than adequate; dry but with a hint of sweet that prevented it from being too acrid or bitter.


“So what is it that you wish to show me?” he asked, hoping to stave off engaging in small talk, of which he was admittedly rubbish.


Dr. Nyx looked at him curiously for a moment, then put her goblet down and rifled through the pile on the table in between the chairs. When she found what she was searching for, she stood and handed him a thick piece of card stock. “That’s you, isn’t it?” Her finger pointed at his sixteen year old looping image. He took the photo from her hand to peer at it closer. As he did, a frown began to form.


“Yes. Where did you get this?”


“Professor Flitwick gave it to me. Did you know him,” her finger slid over to point at another young man in the photo, “my brother?”


Severus swept his eyes over the image, first taking in the images of himself and his old housemates, then back to the young man beneath Dr. Nyx’s finger. He felt her questing eyes upon him and debated how to answer her, settling finally on the truth. It was probably the best policy as he knew that he could not feasibly deny knowing the young wizard.


“Not well. Just in passing. He was in a different house than I and the student body on average is too large to know everyone closely.”


“So I take it you participated in these quiz matches, and this was taken before one between Slytherin and Ravenclaw?”

“Yes. Slytherin won this match but it had been potions heavy and that was one of my better subjects. Obviously.” He handed her the photo and took another drink. Dr. Nyx looked from the photo to him and back again. Snape could tell she wanted to press him for more but was restraining herself out of politeness. She finally sat back down in her chair, smiling to conceal her disappointment.


“No, potions was never his strong suit. He did well enough but he preferred other subjects. I think it was because he just didn’t have the patience for it. So, was it an unmerciful beating?”


Severus took another sip, resigned to engaging in conversation. “There’s not that much to say. Horace Slughorn, the then Potions Master, contributed many of the questions for that match which so happened to cover several advanced potions topics.”


Dr. Nyx looked down at the photograph on her lap for a moment, coming to terms that she wasn’t to receive very many vicarious memories from this conversation. “Ah well, it was probably good for him. There wasn’t too many times that he got his arse handed to him so, bravo.”


A small lull in the conversation began to form and oddly enough, Snape wanted not so much to continue it, but at least offer some consolatory prize for not having an abundance of memories of her brother to offer. She undoubtedly was disappointed, although he wasn’t sure why he should even care. Perhaps it was because he knew the pain of losing one so close. He would have given almost anything for someone who knew Lily to sit him down and share their memories of her.


“I must say though, he was a gracious loser. Very sportsmanlike.”


Dr. Nyx looked up with a peculiar expression. “Gracious loser? We are talking about my brother, correct? Steffen ‘I was robbed’ Nyx?”


“Er…yes, I suppose. After the match was over, he walked over to the departing Slytherins to seek me out. When I turned, he offered me his hand and congratulated me on a well played match.”


Dr. Nyx still appeared somewhat dubious. “Really? No smart remarks?”


“Well, he did insinuate that I had an ‘in’ with the quiz committee. But I believe he was only joking as he was smiling when he said it.”


“Now that sounds more like him. What did you say in return?”

“I shook his hand then advised him that he appeared to have a bit of fungal growth under his bottom lip and if he sought me out later, I could make him an ointment to cure it.”

Dr. Nyx looked down at the photo once more. When she lifted her head, her eyes were wide with delighted scandal. “You didn’t!” she breathed.

The wine had already begun warming his blood and loosening his spine, but then again, he had not eaten much at all that evening. He quirked an eyebrow to indicated that yes, he had in fact, done so. A peel of laughter escaped from Dr. Nyx.


“Oh no! How funny! Oh, I’d have loved to have been there for that! He was so sensitive about that little patch of hair. He thought it was so cool. He used to get so put out when any of us ribbed him about it. I used to threaten him that I was going to dribble milk on it while he slept and turn the cat loose on him. What did he say?” she asked, patting at her eyes. Snape was relieved that she was finding this amusing rather than offensive.


“He looked at me for a moment, much like you do, then advised me not to disparage it until I grew one for myself.”


Dr. Nyx thought for a moment. “Don’t knock it until you try it in other words.”


“Quite. I believe his parting words to me were,” here Snape cleared his throat, “‘hey man, the chicks dig it.’ He never did seek me out for the ointment.”


“Stop stop! You’re going to get me going again!” she gasped as she fanned herself with the photo.


Snape hid the slight, satisfied smile on his lips by draining his goblet.


“More?”

“Well…I should probably be…,” Snape began but Dr. Nyx had already rose and was walking over with the bottle. Before he could protest further, she poured him half a goblet of wine. “At least just half a glass to top you off.”

Severus estimated that on his relatively empty stomach, he could only handle this extra half portion before he felt the beginnings of intoxication. He would have to excuse himself immediately afterward.


“Was that all you wanted, Doctor? To ask about the photograph?” he asked, setting up his escape. Dr. Nyx let out a sigh of exasperation.


“Is there any possible way I can convince someone, anyone, to please call me Helena? I can’t even get Rubeus or Poppy to do it.”


“It is your title. One that I assume you worked hard to obtain. It is only proper.”


“But I’m not ‘Doctor’ here. The only one who calls me Helena on occasion is Albus and quite frankly…” Dr. Nyx cut herself off and shook her head before taking a drink of wine. Snape instantly decided to delay his extraction from her quarters.


“What?”


“Nothing. I shouldn’t have said anything. He is a colleague of yours after all.”


“No, please continue.” Snape said as he took another sip from his goblet.


Dr. Nyx regarded him with that same disconcerting assessment he had observed a few times previous. It seemed as though she was examining a part of him that he toiled to keep hidden. He hid an anxious frown with another sip. After a moment she settled back into her chair.


“May I speak candidly? And will what I say remain between us?”


Snape nodded. He knew she was taking a risk revealing her thoughts to him and he wondered why she should choose to. As far as most were concerned, he was not known for his trustworthiness and knew many had objected to Albus placing his confidence in him.

But that’s just it, isn’t it? She doesn’t know about you.


“Well, I don’t doubt the man is sincere in what he does. He believes what he’s doing is the right thing to do. The problem I have is he apparently is willing to use any means to arrive at the end, which in his case seems to employ a great deal of deception and subterfuge. For instance, this ‘death list’ I’m on. I am still more than a little upset and angry that he did not contact me at once when he first learned of it. I knew who Dumbledore was because my brother attended Hogwarts, but I never knew him as a protector of anyone much less the head of a secret order; just a Headmaster of a school.

"Then Steffen and Mary were murdered and come to find out, he had known about it and this list. The decent thing to have done would have been to contact the people on said list to warn them. Instead he said and did nothing. He told me that he and the Order would have tried to prevent more killings, but obviously that hasn’t been the case. At the very most, he never tried. At the very least, he was ineffectual. People are dead. I too could very well have been.”


Snape listened and kept his face expressionless, his dark eyes focused intently on Helena as she continued.


“He manipulates with charm and uses his friendship as a tool. Although he never comes right out and says it, you’re made to feel that his help and benevolence is conditional. His redeeming grace is that he is opposed to the mass genocide that Riddle promises . If it wasn’t for that, one might consider him highly unethical and suspect. I feel badly for anyone who finds themselves indebted to him."


Helena looked over at Severus and noticed the way he was looking at her.


“I apologize if I spoke out of turn, Professor.”


Snape looked forward in silence for a long moment. She had just described perfectly his relationship with the old wizard. When he came to Dumbledore and groveled to save Lily, he was wracked with guilt over having reported to Voldemort about Trelawney’s prophecy. He would have done anything to save his one time friend and secret love. Anything. He would have gladly descended into hell if it meant she would be saved. Dumbledore knew that and used that to press-gang him into the nightmare that his life had become. If Dumbledore had been upfront with him initially about what he would have to do, he still would have done it. It was all for her. Dumbledore however deceived him when he said he would keep Lily safe. He extracted an oath from Severus that bound him to do whatever he required.


But she had died regardless.


Even after her death, Dumbledore used Severus’ love for Lily and his oath to send him regularly into a living hell where he bows and scrapes before the monster that killed her. Before the monster who flogs and Crucios him unmercifully. Before the monster who holds revels for his sycophantic followers that contain every sort of horror imaginable. And he does it all the while calling himself Severus’ friend.


He knew where he stood with Dumbledore but what rattled him was that Dr. Nyx, who knew nothing about the dynamic between him and the old wizard, had just laid it all bare, simply and succulently. He hadn’t felt his situation so understood since a sweet little red-headed witch looked past the surface of a shy, gloomy little wizard who wore rags and kept to the shadows a lifetime ago.


“You are quite perceptive, Doctor.” he said quietly. Helena shrugged.


“I’m just familiar with the type is all. It doesn’t matter which world you come from. They’re all the same.”


Snape stared into the flames of the fireplace as he concentrated on finishing his wine and not on the uneasy state of his mind. For one transient, illogical moment, he was tempted to jump to his feet and expose every secret in his head to the woman sitting opposite him if for nothing else to see the shock that he was sure she would display. But even if he would try to follow through with that folly of an urge, he would only be able to open his mouth and gasp like a fish plucked from the water and thrown on the ground.


"Professor, are you alright?" Dr. Nyx asked, noticing his change in affect.


"What? Yes, I'm fine." Snape raised the goblet and drank the rest of his wine then quickly stood. "My apologies but I must retire. Thank you for the wine and my compliments to your father. If you'll excuse me..."


"Oh," Dr. Nyx sounded disappointed, "Of course. Classes to teach in the morning and all that. Thank you for the visit. Perhaps we could do this again? I enjoyed it very much."


By force of habit, Snape prepared to spit out a sarcastic retort about offering insincere invitations, but resisted.


"I...yes, I suppose perhaps...if you would like..." he was shocked at his own affability.


It must be the wine.


"I would. Very much." she said, smiling up at him.


"Very well. Good night, Doctor," then after Dr. Nyx cocked her head a little to the side, added, "Er...Helena."


At this her smile broadened, revealing the beginnings of crow's feet which Snape found reassuring and pleasant. By the time he reached his quarters however his mood had soured again, knowing that another invitation would probably not be forthcoming.


And why should it? You've been your usual bastard self to her. She only tolerated you to get information about that photograph. Now that she has it, she won't bother with you anymore. Serves you right.



&*&*&*&*&*


The meeting with Dumbledore did not go as Helena thought it would. Pinching back a frown at what she considered a patronizing and overly indulgent smile from the old wizard, she explained that the room and board extended to her (even if it was against her wishes) was beginning to bother her sense of propriety since she was doing nothing to earn her continued keep. Since she could not do magic, she suggested perhaps she could help Hagrid around the grounds of Hogwarts.


"I'm not above manual labor. And as you know, I now have psychokinesis at my disposal."


Dumbledore's smiled widened more, making Helena feel like a 4 year old child who had just successfully tied her shoes for the first time. After assuring her that she was under no obligation, he relented after Helena insisted but instead of agreeing to let her help Hagrid, Dumbledore presented her with the syllabus and textbook for Hogwarts Muggle Studies, explaining that the course had not been updated since the mid-1940's and that the current professor, Charity Burbage, had been after him to update it.


"As much as I'm sure Hagrid would be delighted with the help and company, I have something much more suited for you. Read through this, if you will, and provide me with notations where the information is outdated and also a few examples of new developments in the Muggle world. Although I don't go into the Muggle world often, I know that long strides have been made in technology, countries have changed names and borders, and so forth. Who better to advise me than you? With your expert advice, I can make a case to the Ministry's Board of Education and have the course updated."


She looked down at the book and disguised the slight disgust she felt that Magicals "studied" Muggles, as if Muggles were an odd species of crustacean.


'Muggles' are humans without magic. End of story.

Careful or you'll just get yourself into a snit again.


"Of course. I'll get on this right away. Thank you." She made to leave Dumbledore's office.


"Ah! I nearly forgot! Also, if you would act as another chaperone for the Halloween dance, I would be most appreciative. It won't be a proper ball, but I do so love Halloween that I can't bear to let the holiday pass without some manner of merrymaking."

"Oh. Yes, course. That sounds fun."


Helena hadn't been to too many wizarding parties, at least outside the family. There had been her uncle Albert's yearly parties for the employees of United Kingdom Wizarding Scholastic, Incorporated, but much like office parties in the non-Magical world, they were quite boring. She wondered how a Hogwarts party would compare.


An elf popped in, startling Helena. It was KiKi, the elf who brought her a tray when she was in the infirmary and too tired to go to the Great Hall. KiKi looked up at Helena with a fawning expression, then padded over to Dumbledore and handed him a letter. Helena turned again to leave the Headmaster's office again.


"Doctor, a moment," he said as he read the letter. After he was done, he chuckled. "Your aunt has written me requesting that she be allowed to visit you."


"Oh, right. My mother had mentioned that to me in a letter."


"In this, she has informed me that she is worried about your morale and insists that I grant her permission. Your aunt is a very formidable woman. I should fear for my continued well being if I refuse," he chuckled again. "I shall respond at once and advise her where you are housed and that she is most welcome," he re-read another portion of the letter, "I must consider though how best to coordinate a larger meeting with more of your family, as she also requests. I shall consider it most carefully, rest assured."


&*&*&*&*&*


A perfunctory perusal of the Muggle Studies textbook informed Helena that she was going to have her work cut out for her. Like Steffen had told her, there was no mention of space exploration, no mention of the discovery of DNA, no mention of computers and information systems, no mention even of the Cold War. Then again, there wouldn't have been if the course had not been updated since the 1940's. No wonder Steffen laughed at his fellow students who took Muggle Studies, advising them that whatever they wanted to know, he'd could answer a lot more accurately.

Steffen. God, I miss you.


Aunt Cyn. Aunt Cyn is going to visit me. I could do with the company.


I wonder how my patients are doing. I should be there. I have an obligation to them as their psychologist.

Helena picked up the photograph of her then 16 year old brother and studied it again. There was Severus, looking dour even as a young man.


I wonder if he'd have another drink with me. Probably not. I was lucky to get that much out of him.


As she looked at her brother's image again, she struck by something she had not noticed before. As Steffen turned and silently laughed at something said to him from the periphery, a notebook in his hand became visible.

"I wonder," she spoke aloud to herself.


A few moments later found her at her desk, penning a letter to her mother.

&*&*&*&*

A/N: Sorry for the slow update. I allowed myself to get distracted with books. I've read all of Charlene Harris' Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire series (10 books in all) that HBO's 'True Blood' is based (very loosely) on. I've also read 3 books on evolution, and a collection of T.S. Eliot's poems.

I'm a fast reader and an avid reader, but even I'm raising my eyebrows at myself. I need to stop being such a hermit. 14 books since my last update....damn!


A note about elderberry wine before Tambra teases me about the French and cheese ;)


My maternal grandfather actually did make elderberry wine because he and my grandmother had a backyard full of elderberry bushes. That's why I had Helena's father make not only wine from elderberries, but why he did as well. My grandmother used to give me and my cousins half a juice glass full of elderberry wine to get us to sleep when we spent the night at her and my grandfather's house as kids. This is also the same woman who rubbed whiskey on our gums when we were teething as babies.


Thanks to Tambrathegreat and Alabaster Princess for sticking with Dr. Nyx. She appreciates it, she wanted me to tell you.

Tambra, I'm waiting with baited breath for your next installment. Whatever it may be. I'm hoping it's Lucius though! *Sigh* We ladies who love Lucius...*sigh.* ;)


Same to you, Alabaster Princess. I'm really into Samantha and Severus' relationship and how it's weaving together.


Again, if anybody wants it, my e-mail is forensicgirl3@yahoo.com.