Changing Minds in Hard Times

Draco didn’t seem to sense the passage of time anymore. Sure, he remembered things. He remembered Harry carrying him to Madam Pomfrey – carrying him, because his legs would no longer move of their own volition. He remembered the old witch forcing several potions into him, and doing scan after scan, until Draco was sure she had exhausted every diagnostic spell in the books. He remembered her worried tone when she told Harry that it was beyond likely that his body would conceive, or had conceived, on that very night. Apparently his fertility levels were just right for that event. And then he remembered leaning over the edge of the cot and emptying his stomach contents onto the floor.



Draco then had known only two things. One, he might kill himself if the seed that impregnated him was Voldemort’s, and two, Harry was there beside him, holding the blonds’ long hair out of his face while he alternated between retching and gasping over the side of the small cot.



Now, upon recollection, he remembered that Harry was with him every moment he possibly could be. The Gryffindor had been there for every visit with Pomfrey, stating that he wouldn’t leave unless Draco asked him to. And Draco never asked him to. Every night, the brunette would take the blond back to his room, cover him carefully with blankets, and cuddle him to sleep.



Harry insisted that no matter what happened, no matter whose baby it was Draco carried, they would find a way to turn it to their advantage. Draco didn’t see how they could. If it was Voldemort’s child, then surely Voldemort would win the fight. And if it was Harry’s, well, then they had nothing to worry about.



Draco dreamed of nothing. When he slept, he fell into a world of his own making. A world where everything was calm and peaceful. It was almost like looking into Harry’s eyes when he was happy. A feeling of love and peace, suffused with light and warmth. Draco wanted to stay in his dreams forever. The alternative to his dreams was reality, and Draco didn’t particularly like his reality right now.



The more he thought about it, the more Draco knew he didn’t like to be used. Especially not by Voldemort. He didn’t mind Harry. At least Harry treated him with love and respect, even if he was technically using Draco’s body to hopefully grow a child of his own making. Draco knew that if Harry turned out to be the father of whatever child he brought forth, Harry would stay and love him and the child, even after the war was over. Likewise, Draco knew that if it was Voldemort’s child, he would likely be used as an incubator until the child arrived, and then either used as bait for Harry, or killed outright.



He blinked down at the soup Harry had placed before him, and sighed. Harry kept trying to feed him. Telling him he needed his strength. Begging Draco to eat, if not for himself, if not for Harry even, then for the child.



Draco shook his head and turned his head to gaze out the window.



---X---



Harry hated seeing Draco like this. But then, what did he expect the blond to be doing? If he were in the same position, Harry was sure he would be doing much the same thing. Harry had been mind raped by Voldemort before, but it was nothing compared to the actual rape that Draco had to go through.



Harry had gone around to his closest friends seeking advice on how to treat Draco now. How to make the man he loved feel better, despite the harsh circumstances. How to make Draco feel like Harry knew he was hurting, without making Draco feel obligated to come out of his state of deep sorrow.



Most of his friends had no idea how to deal with the situation. Even the fact that Harry was gay and was trying to make things work with Draco was a bit over the top for them. Of course, they wished them the best of luck in their relationship, and offered to help in any way they could, but they simply had no rational advice to give Harry.



Ron had suggested that maybe Draco would feel better in a few days, when the pregnancy test could be properly given and read. But Harry couldn’t help but think about what would happen if Draco found out he was pregnant with Voldemort’s baby. Would he kill himself? Would he go back to Voldemort, feeling that no matter what, the prophecy must be completed? No, that was stupid. Draco hated the Dark Lord, both for killing his mother, and for treating him as if he were a whore. He would never return to Voldemort\'s side.



Anyhow, there was still a week to go before the pregnancy test could be done for proper results. So Harry decided he would do all he could do for now. Show Draco he was there for him, no matter what.