Shades of Truth

Shades of Truth

Chapter 20

*****

As soon as Harry entered the interview room, he was nearly attacked by Draco, who lunged into his arms and kissed him exuberantly.

“So, you seem to be feeling better.” Harry teased as Hermione, who had come to see the memory they’d been trying to get so long, grumbled about hormonal boys while getting the Pensieve ready.

“Most people wouldn’t be so happy to see their father die.” Hermione spoke up as she gestured for them to join her.

“That isn’t why, and you know it. I’m just glad we finally have everything we need for the appeal. It almost feels like I’m already free.”

“I’m just glad there’ll be no more retrievals.” Harry dropped another light kiss on Draco’s cheek. “My nerves are shot.”

“With all the work you had to do.” Hermione teased him as he sat down between her and Draco.

“You know what I mean.” Harry shook his head and laced his fingers through Draco’s.

“Let’s get this over with.” Draco prompted, and after a moment, Hermione created a projection for them all to watch.

“Hurry, we must leave.” Narcissa was in a small room, and the only other person present was Draco, who was lying listlessly in bed while she frantically sorted through his belongings and magically packed the ones she saw as necessary. “Draco, would you please just move! The Ministry is on their way now, and there will be a battle. If you stay, you could be captured, or killed.”

“So?” Draco finally replied, not leaving the bed. “That’s what I deserve, after all I’ve done.”

“Nonsense, Draco, you’ve done nothing wrong.” Narcissa finished her packing and knelt next to the bed, her face full of pleading. “I will not have you go into battle against fully trained Aurors! My dear boy, please, for my sake, come with me.”

“Father would want me to stay.” Draco answered, looking like he would be no help to anyone in the battle to come. “He would want me to fight.”

“Draco, dear, you must not throw your life away!” Narcissa seemed to be on the verge of tears. “Who will I have if your father and you both…”

“Failing faith in our side, mother?” Draco sighed and rolled over, staring at the ceiling. “Father would be so disappointed.”

“This is not the time to die needlessly! You’re no more fit for battle than I am! Do you want your own mother to die defending you?” she was clearly becoming hysterical, which was something Harry never thought he’d see, and it was making him more than a little uncomfortable.

“Then leave, mother.” He answered her. “Leave me here and go. You’ll be better off without me. For all you know, I could turn on you tomorrow, and I don’t want to kill you.”

“Draco, you would never…” Narcissa forcefully turned his face so that he was looking at her. “Listen to me, I know you, and you are a gentle boy. You would never hurt me.”

“Mother, I killed Snape.” Draco replied, his voice like cold steel as a tear slid down his cheek. “He was my friend, he was like a father to me, and I killed him. I might do the same to you, or to anyone. It’s better if I die or am locked away, so that I can’t hurt anyone I care about.”

“Draco, listen to me.” Narcissa’s voice was low, as though she was afraid of being overheard. “You mustn’t tell your father, he would be furious if he knew I was telling you, but you have not killed anyone.” She pushed his hair back and wiped away the trail of his single tear. “He has made you think these things so that you would find it in yourself to take a life, so you could fight at his side. He thought…if you believed yourself to be a killer, you would have no problem killing. Your father killed Severus, he’s only made you think—“

“Wait,” the young man stirred then, he was hastily pulling on his robes. “Father used…he modified my memories?”

“Yes, Draco, so you mustn’t blame yourself!” Narcissa seemed excited that Draco was now out of bed. “We must leave now.”

“He killed Snape?” Draco went on, shuffling through a stack of papers as though looking for something. “And he made me think…” he stopped then, and they saw that he was clutching his wand so tightly it looked as though he might snap it in half. “And those others…”

“He was trying to make you into a soldier for the Dark Lord. He was doing it out of love!” she seemed to notice that Malfoy was clearly furious.

“Wait here, mother.” Draco actually leaned over and kissed his mother’s cheek. “If I’m not back in twenty minutes, leave without me.”

“What? Where are you—“ but before she could stop him, Draco Disapparated, and they were left watching Narcissa, who was clearly desperate to find her son and get out of there immediately. She let out a few choice curses as she flew out of the room and began a hurried search for Draco. Harry understood her frustration. He had wanted to find Voldemort as soon as he arrived at the headquarters, but that had been considerably more difficult to do than he’d hoped.

“What’s that?” Harry asked when she stopped racing around aimlessly and pulled out something like a compass or a large necklace from underneath the neck of her robes.

“A gift from my father, he had it made just after I was born. It can be used to locate a specific person, but…well, there’s blood involved, so of course it’s considered Dark Magic.” Draco explained as his mother put the large pendant away and began running in a new direction.

“Your father had a Locater Charm made for you?” Hermione looked both repulsed and intrigued. “When you were only a baby?”

“Well, he wanted my mother to always be able to find me.” Draco justified sullenly. “It doesn’t take that much blood.”

“It takes nearly half a liter! Where’d he get so much! How are you alive?” Hermione was completely indignant.

“He didn’t take it all at once.” Draco rolled his eyes. “You make it sound like he killed a hundred babies to make my mother a shiny necklace. It wasn’t like that at all.”

“Does she still have it?” Hermione asked, still clearly disgusted that someone could methodically bleed their own baby for such a purpose.

“Probably.” Draco shrugged. “Unless it was confiscated.”

“Do…do you think she’d let me see it?” Hermione asked, her eyes bright and eager. “Only, I’ve never seen one that still has a living object, and it’d be fascinating to study.”

“Hermione, please.” Harry stopped her before she became too engrossed in her interest in rare magical objects.

In the projection, Narcissa was just bursting into a study, where books and other objects were flying through the air in so many directions, she was nearly knocked out immediately, and had to duck and dodge quite skillfully to avoid being hit. “Draco, no!”

Draco and his father were facing off in the middle of the room, wands firing Stunners back and forth. Neither of them seemed to take any notice of their new audience, they were so utterly concentrated on their duel. “Please, both of you! This is no time to fight amongst ourselves!”

“You’re the one who told him!” Lucius roared, but he did not take his eyes away from Draco as he masterfully dodged a spell that hit a bookshelf and sent more detritus flying. “What did you think would happen, you fool?”

“Don’t blame this on her!” Draco’s face was unnaturally pale, except for the brilliant red splotches on his cheeks that spoke of his rage. “You wanted me to be a murderer, just like you, and you’re surprised I get angry that you’re forcing it on me?” He looked as though he would fight his father until there was nothing left in him. He looked as though he actually had it in him to kill. Harry felt his heartbeat quicken with dread as he saw a face so twisted with rage and hate that it was almost unrecognizable as the man he’d grown to love. He had never feared Draco, but in that moment, he saw that even this boy who had more compassion than anyone gave him credit for, could find the rage in him needed to cast the Killing Curse.

“Please! No!” Narcissa was crying, and Harry felt oddly ill. This wasn’t what he was expecting. Surely, he could see her pull out her wand. She would strike the killing blow, as Hermione and he had suspected. But something wasn’t right. She was aiming for Draco, and even Lucius had seen. He dropped his guard in surprise just as Draco shot a horribly unmistakable bolt of green at his father.

“Obliviate!” Narcissa shrieked, and Harry saw at that moment what she had attempted to do to remedy the situation, too late. If she’d been faster, the duel might have ended without anyone dying. She, too, realized that she had missed her chance, and ran to Draco, screaming for him to stop and sobbing uncontrollably.

“Mother…” Draco was clearly disoriented, as his mother had just wiped part of his memories of what had just happened, in her panic. “What…”

“No, Draco, you couldn’t have…you didn’t mean to.” Narcissa babbled as she clutched her son. “You loved your father!”

“I…killed him?” Draco looked down at her and at the body, and then at his wand in growing alarm and confusion. “I…but why?”

“No, Draco, please!” she tried to hold him to her, but he raced out of the room in a hurry as Harry and Hermione watched in horror. The scene began to fade, and the three of them sat in silence for some time.

“I really did it, then?” Draco looked rather greenish, as though he might be sick.

“I…didn’t expect that.” Hermione’s words might have been one of the greatest understatements ever, but Harry couldn’t be sure.

“Well,” Draco was beginning to regain his composure, but Harry suspected that his sudden calm was merely a façade. “Now we know why you couldn’t break the block. The only thing hidden is what happened right before I killed him, not during.”

“And right after that…I Stunned you.” Harry finally found words. “No wonder you were too distracted to block the attack.”

“Well, for all we know I could have been headed for a murderous rampage.” Draco guessed. “So it’s a good job you caught me. As it was, I only killed my father, and I think that only really upset my mother.”

“It’s weird hearing Narcissa talk about Snape’s death as though she saw it. Did he ever tell you about that, Harry?” Hermione asked.

“No, kind of a sore spot for him.” Harry answered, still feeling rather nauseous himself.

“No wonder Narcissa wouldn’t give you the memory before.” Hermione sighed deeply as the pieces all slid together. “We thought she was protecting herself, but she was really protecting Draco all along.”

“I told you she’s a good mother.” Draco shrugged, “Mostly.”

“But now what?” Harry felt a deep despair as he thought about all the work they’d done. “He did kill Lucius. That means there’s no point appealing. He’s still guilty of one of the counts.”

“No, Harry, you need to learn to see the grey area here.” Hermione turned to them both, determination in her eyes. “Yes, Draco killed Lucius. But does that one death mean he deserves to stay in Azkaban for life?”

“You can go to Azkaban just for trying the Killing Curse.” Draco replied in a dry tone. “Succeeding is even more frowned upon.”

“Yes, but there isn’t one person in this room that didn’t kill someone in the war. Harry’s killed loads of people, and he didn’t even have to stand trial.” Hermione went on excitedly.

“Hermione, that isn’t making me feel better.” Harry sighed deeply.

“But think about it!” Hermione exclaimed, well into her topic now. “Why aren’t you in prison if you killed people? Why am I still free as well?”

“Well, we only killed Death Eaters.” Harry told her. Suddenly he thought he knew what she was thinking.

“And Lucius Malfoy—“

“Was a Death Eater!” Harry took up her line of thought with sudden excitement. “And, he was a really bad one! Not like the younger ones that didn’t do much. He killed loads of innocent people, and tortured them…”

“I really appreciate that you two find the murder of my father to be perfectly excusable, but I don’t think I’ll get off just because he was an evil, mind-fucking bastard.” Draco cut in.

“But Draco, what you did…you helped defeat Voldemort! Lucius would have definitely been hard to just subdue or capture, and if Harry had to face both of them at once, he may have died!” Hermione explained excitedly. “Don’t you see? I know you feel guilty for killing someone, but we all do. That happens during a war.”

“So the only difference between being a murderer or not is which side wins?” Draco shook his head slowly. “I’m sorry, but it still seems like what I did was murder, and it was wrong.”

“Do…do you want to stay in Azkaban?” Harry asked finally, his chest feeling suddenly tight.

“No, I’ll go along with your defense.” Draco answered finally, smiling sadly at them both. “I just thought…well, I wanted to know that I had never killed anyone. I wanted to feel innocent. Redeemed. And I feel…I feel like I’m a killer. Like I’m dangerous, and maybe…”

“Don’t say it.” Harry suddenly hugged Draco, as if to stop the words. “Don’t say you deserve to be here, or that you belong here. Someone once told me that casualties of war aren’t only the names on tombstones. I don’t want you to give up on your chance to live a normal life, a good life. You may not believe me when I say that you’re a good person, but you know what I’ve done, and you still love me. You still think I’m good, and maybe someday you’ll forgive yourself as well.”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve this.” Draco spoke into Harry’s shoulder. “But I’m glad you’re here to believe I’m capable of a normal life.”

“Ooh, you two are so sweet.” They looked over at Hermione, who had tears streaming down her face. She flushed as they stared at her. “Sorry, sorry, private moment.”

*****

To be Continued…