Evening Schnapps

A/N: After a prolonged absence, I am returning to finish this tale. My sincere apologies to those who were involved and following Evening Schnapps, and whom were left in the lurch. The demands of the last year were such that there was no time left for any extra activities. The last month of the 07 spring semester was spent in alternating weeks of a fairly normal heavy workload, with intense weeks of no sleep. Six-day cycles of technical writing to meet deadlines, without time to sleep or even nap… Ugg.

Immediately after finals, I flew off to the other side of the country for a field course for uni. After returning from that, I repacked my dive bags and flew to the other side of the world for another field course. I spent the summer overseas, and returned to start another semester. This time, I thought I had a more reasonable class load. So, I thought I’d finally find myself in a position to write again. No such luck. My final year was hell on wheels, but I persevered and I am FINALLY a college graduate. There is so much more these two have to say to each other, so I am picking up where I left off and will continue to conclusion. I will finish this story over the next two months, before I leave to begin my research for my Masters degree.

For obvious reasons, this story is not DH compliant and is too far gone to make it so. Accordingly I will continue to hold to HBP compliance. Hehe… While I was overseas, I was lucky enough to get a night out on land to see Order of the Phoenix, and bought a special copy of Deathly Hollows, the British version with the adult cover! Yay!

Due to my own inability to access the internet with any reasonable regularity, I have failed to contact my prior beta, SignoraAligheri. As a result, I had for search for another. So, I am very happy to welcome Kettish to the schnapps sippin’ family. Her insights are invaluable, and I am very fortunate to have found her.

At any rate, Pickles, Bill, AmSev, Juls, Sheedy, Ruby Wolf, Domine, and of course, SignoraAligheri and Vampire_exotica, if you are still around… this one’s for you.




J.K. Rowling is the owner of the entire Happy Potter universe, except specific characters, situations, and plot bunnies that are unique to this story. I make no money, but lots of satisfaction from taking out her characters and playing with them for a while before putting them back.


Evening Schnapps

Chapter 20- Negotiating Trust

Severus looked at Harry with an arched eyebrow and a tentative respect, and nodded. It seemed that the hotheaded young wizard had found a way to ameliorate his distrust of him.

“What sort of help do you have in mind, Mr. Potter?”

“Well, I would like you to take Hermione under your protection.” The black-haired wizard said, looking at Severus somberly. “You know how these Death Eaters think, and frankly, I would feel safe knowing that you would be escorting Hermione when she leaves Hogwarts. I’m sure that Professor McGonagall would see to it that your schedules match up.”

“Hold on!” Hermione burst out. “I haven’t ceded control of my life to anyone.”

Severus glanced at her. This might work to his advantage. If she hadn’t forgiven him for attacking her so viciously, he might be able to change her mind if given sufficient time. If she had, well then… either way he needed to devote some serious consideration to his standing with the witch in front of him. He turned his gaze back to the aurors.

“Yes. I believe that this is the most expedient manner in which to assure her safety.” He looked to the redheaded Weasley. “I take it you are in agreement?”

Ron Weasley sighed, staring at his desk. “You know we’ve had differences, Professor.”

Severus snorted.

The younger wizard looked up at him. “But, I understand now that you’ve been on our side from the beginning.”

Severus leveled his black glare on the redhead. Then he drew himself up to his full and intimidating height.

“I have not been on your side from the beginning, Mr. Weasley. It would behoove you to remember that, when working with me. It was only the actions of Voldemort on the night he killed this one’s mother,” he grated, pointing a long finger at Potter, “that swayed my beliefs.”

He moved towards the door, turning back to Harry Potter. “I will take over care of Miss Granger immediately.”

He swept from the room, leaving a relieved Potter, a shocked Weasley, and a furious Granger behind.

------

Hermione glared at the door. She was glad that he was feeling better, but she had no intention of being baby-sat.

“Hermione,” Harry said. “I know that look. Don’t you dare think about fighting this arrangement. I want you safe.”

“And you think she’ll be safe with him ?” Ron said hoarsely. “He as good as admitted he was evil!”

“How dare you?” Hermione rounded on Ron, in unison with Harry. “Ron, you know perfectly well that he is on our side now!”

“Ron,” Harry chided. “Snape saved us all.”

“But, he killed Dumbledore,” Ron muttered.

Harry sighed. “He was under an Unbreakable Vow.”

“He should have found a way around it,” said Ron sullenly.

Hermione got the impression that they had this argument often.

“Listen, Ron,” she tried gently. “The whole point behind an Unbreakable Vow is that there is no way around it. I’ve come to know Severus well over the past months. I can tell you that even as dark a wizard as he must have been to gravitate towards Voldemort, he didn’t want to kill the Headmaster. Professor Dumbledore was responsible for his own death. You can’t continue to blame Severus for it.”

Ron stared at her.

Hermione stood. “Harry, I really hate this. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I’ve done it for years. But, to show Ron that I trust Severus, I’ll agree to your suggestion. I promise I won’t leave Hogwarts without him. Alright?”

Harry nodded at her silently.

Hermione left, more irritated at Ron’s continuing distrust of Severus, than of Harry’s overprotective mothering.

After the door closed, Ron looked at Harry.

“Did she call Snape what I think she did?”

Harry looked at the door thoughtfully, considering her statement about getting to know Snape.

“Yeah,” he said, “I think she did.”

-----

Severus waited in a dark corner of the Ministry atrium. Ron’s reaction had bothered him more than he cared to admit. Even though he had been trapped, he still felt responsible for Dumbledore’s death. He wondered at Hermione’s reaction to him. She had given him a small smile in the office earlier, but he felt sure that he had made a critical mistake the night before. If someone had hurt him with as much venom in their heart, he would never forgive them. One thing was certain: the young witch was not afraid of him. In all his years, he had never once had anyone stand up to him with such determination, and ultimate success. Her treatment of him had been rather callous, actually. He smirked as he thought of her standing over him, while he groveled on the ground. No, it was certainly not fear she felt.

Grimacing at the vivid recall of the unbearable pain he had been in, Severus understood that two things were certain. He needed to find out what the tablet was that had taken away his horrible pain, and he needed to do it soon. It seemed that the headaches were getting even worse. He watched as Hermione entered the atrium. Hoping that she would accept his company, he stepped out of the shadows to fall in with her.

-----

Hermione felt the imposing force and warmth of the tall, dark wizard behind her.

“Severus,” she acknowledged.

She slowed slightly, allowing him to come up beside her. He didn’t say anything to her as they made their way across the Ministry. She glanced up and studied his face. There was no sign of the pain and tension that usually marred his face. He certainly wasn’t smiling, but neither did he look as scary as he usually did. Approaching the exit, Hermione decided she might as well take advantage of the free time Harry’s summons had given her. A trip to Florish and Blotts was always in order.

Transforming her teaching robes into something suitable for walking through Muggle London, she made her way out onto the street. When he did not join her in the cramped phone booth, she expected Severus to return to Hogwarts, but found him falling in next to her again a few moments later. He remained silent, but she saw that he had also transformed his robes into Muggle clothes. He was wearing clothes similar to what she had seen him wearing in her small mountain town. She noted the Muggle dark glasses that he wore, he hadn’t returned them, and she had quite forgotten about them.

As they made their way, he showed no sign of wanting to talk.

‘Oh well,’ she thought. ‘It might be easier this way. I’m sure he doesn’t have anything pleasant to say after the way I treated him last night.’ She remembered Harry telling her about the night that Severus struck down Dumbledore. He had gone mad when Harry called him a coward. She knew it was a frayed nerve when she struck it. In fact, she had chosen that tack specifically for that reason.

Her hand drifted to her collarbone, where one of the delicate scars remained. Severus had given her reason for pause. His actions last night were brutal, and nearly deadly. But she firmly believed he was not in control of himself. When he realized what he had done, he certainly exhausted himself trying to reverse his brutality. In fact, she wondered if his silence was in concern over her feelings on the matter.

-----

They walked in silence, neither choosing to speak. Severus watched as the young witch allowed her fingers to drift over her collarbone. Frowning, he remembered the shock of recognition, the agonizing moment when he realized that he had killed this fascinating witch. He swallowed and continued walking. He could not remember a single other point in his life when he had been as out of control of his own actions.

Severus noted that in the Muggle world, no one gave him a second glance. After a time, he began to enjoy the journey. This type of anonymity was rare. His thoughts drifted back to Muriel’s bar. The first evening he spent there looking for information about Hermione had been pleasant. The bustle of the customers, the music, and the laughter combined with his total anonymity to allow him to relax. It had been like a gift. Looking up, he noticed a restaurant ahead. It was nearing lunchtime, and he caught tempting aromas on the air.

He stopped as they reached the doorway. Hermione stopped and looked back at him.

“Would you join me for a meal?” Severus asked, silently willing her to accept.

He sighed inwardly with relief, as she nodded and came back to the doorway. He brought up his hand to the small of her back, and ushered her in, stopping just short of touching her. He doubted very much that she would ever allow that again. He took off the dark spectacles, and followed the maître d’ and Hermione deeper into the restaurant.

After ordering drinks, and sitting in silence for a while, Severus began to feel truly uncomfortable. It seemed that they would not be able to sit in companionable quiet as they used to until some things were said. Things which needed to be said. Severus was uncomfortable with apologizing for anything. Rarely did he find himself at fault for his actions. Usually, he reacted to others actions, and blame could be readily assigned to the offending individual. In this case, he really couldn’t blame Hermione for tormenting him when he was down. In fact, he couldn’t even blame his actions on the pain. After all he had been through in his life, he held himself to a higher standard of control.

“Hermione.” Severus hesitated. This was harder than he thought it would be. He met her gaze, hoping to find the necessary words in her copper eyes, but he found himself at a loss.

“Severus,” she said quietly. “I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for last night.”

He couldn’t believe it. She had nothing to apologize for. It was only her tenacity and force of will that had given him the relief he had so desperately needed.

“No—“ he began, only to be cut off.

“Let me finish,” she snapped. The witch frowned and continued. “I wanted to let you know that I don’t think you are a coward. It was just the only thing I could think of to shock you into accepting help.”

Severus stared openly at her for a few seconds. He watched as she fidgeted with her silverware, and chewed at her lower lip. She looked up at the waiter, who brought their drinks. Hermione had ordered a gin and tonic, expressing the desire for something cooling after their walk on the sunny spring day. Pleased with the results of taking her lead at prior meals, Severus followed suit. After the waiter left, he took a sip, finding the tart and slightly resinous flavor to his liking.

“Hermione,” he began again, stiffly. “I’m not any good at this. What you said stung, as it was designed to. You need not apologize for it. In fact, it is I who owe you an apology. If it had not been for your help, I would be suffering still. You offered me help, and I nearly killed you for it.”

He watched as she sipped her drink, and waited. Perhaps she would accept his apology.

She set down her drink and looked up at him. Her eyes glistened as she gave him a kind smile and nodded her acceptance. Once again, Severus found his heart give an odd extra thump when he met her copper gaze.

-----

After lunch, Hermione walked on to Diagon Alley with Severus moving next to her. They had spoken little during the remaining time at the Muggle restaurant. What needed to be said, to soothe raw nerves, had been said. Small talk didn’t seem appropriate, given the sense of fragility that remained.

When they crossed the threshold at the Leaky Cauldron, she noticed that Severus allowed his robes to return. She also noticed the customary scowl return to his face as people began to stare at the dark wizard, some even whispered softly to their companions. Smiling at a few people she was acquainted with, they had made their way through the back. The tension she felt from Severus stayed with them as they made their way through the light crowds.

Once they reached the booksellers, Hermione made her way to the journals. When the time had come to leave the restaurant, Severus had apparently realized that he did not have any Muggle funds with him. He had been getting a little flustered when she noticed. She had pulled her Muggle credit card out and had given it to the waiter. He had not inquired further, but she had received the distinct impression that the wizard did not approve of a witch paying for his meal.

Severus stood behind her silently as she selected several journals. She picked up Transformations Weekly, Modern Arithmancy, and the first edition of an interesting looking new periodical, Holistic Witchcraft and Wizardry. She was interested in seeing if the editors, who claimed that the journal was intended to promote cross-boundary studies in the fields of Muggle science and Magic, were serious about it or were just producing a journal on par with Muggle tabloids with their Dog-faced Boys.

When she was done selecting her materials, she turned and found the journals taken from her hands. Severus had indeed been uncomfortable with her paying for their lunches, and took care of the purchase himself. They made their way back out into Diagon Alley, and the imposing wizard turned and glanced down at her, before scanning the street with his black gaze.

“Hermione,” he said. “Would you please accompany me back to my laboratory this afternoon? I have something I would like to show you.”

She agreed and took his arm to Disapparate back to the gates of Hogwarts. As they Disapparated, she felt him tremble slightly at her touch.

-----

Severus sat in his laboratory, watching Hermione read through his notes. Her focus on his writings was complete; she never looked up, and so Severus was free to study her.

Her choice to take his arm, indicating a willingness to side-along Apparate, had surprised him. After all that they had been through in the past week, he felt certain that he had lost any chance with the young witch. Still a little shaken by Hermione’s apology, the unnecessary physical contact had sent him into a spiral of confusion and relief. He had scarcely suppressed a shudder as the witch’s soft touch had brought the image of her falling as she looked up at him first with surprise and then mute acceptance. Watching her now, he considered her actions.

She was perfectly capable of Apparating on her own. In fact, she had kept up with him on the strenuous trans-Atlantic journey. Not too many could manage that. His instinct told him that by catching his arm, she was comfortable touching him; that she was showing trust. He scowled fiercely. Of course, his instinct had also led him to nearly kill the witch.

His thoughts were interrupted as Hermione shifted on her stool.

“Severus,” she said, still reading. “Everything I’m reading here confirms my suspicions. I know what is causing your headaches.”

Frustrated, Severus sat on the edge of his seat, waiting for her to continue, but she was completely absorbed in his notes. He watched as she read the transcripts of the patients’ notes from St Mungo’s. When she finished, she finally pushed them away and looked up at him.

“How long have you been suffering, Severus?”

“I’ve been prone to headaches from childhood.” Severus admitted. “However, the frequency and intensity have been increasing over the years.”

“And during that time, you stopped seeking outside help, didn’t you? Because of this.” Hermione indicated the medical transcripts. “Because of these healers, who said these witches were hysterical.”

Severus nodded curtly. “You said you knew what was causing the pain. Are you going to tell me, or just tease me with your knowledge? When you were younger, I couldn’t stop you from blurting out the answer.”

He watched as she blushed and ducked her head. “Sorry,” she said. “You have migraines.”

They sat in silence for a moment.

“I have what?”
-----------------

AN: Well, there we are. One answer on the table, and host of questions waiting in the wings. I will continue this until completion this time, thanks for reading.