The Rules of the Game

Chapter 19
******************************************

By the end of the summer I was not in perhaps the best of shapes. I had continued my experiment and my magic was abnormally weak because of it. I still had numerous wounds all over my body but luckily none that couldn’t be hidden by clothing because I didn’t think I had the energy to sustain a glamour. But I had managed to sneak away again to get my supplies for the year and everything seemed to be going well.

***

The morning I would be leaving I woke up to a racking cough. It was the same cough that had been waking me up and causing me problems for almost two weeks. My throat was extremely sore but the Dursleys didn’t want me talking anyway. It took me a few minutes to finally stop and when I looked at my hand I noticed a little in the crap I was coughing up. I shrugged it off, not like I hadn’t bled before.

The rest of the morning I rushed around getting everything ready in hopes that these last few hours with the Dursleys would go smooth ignoring the weakness and shaking in my body.

When the time finally came I collapsed gratefully in the back of the car, too weary to do much else. I had once more been dropped off more than an hour early, so still coughing like crazy I made my way onto the nearly deserted platform and found a compartment towards the back. It took me five minutes to try and get my trunk above the seat since my left arm was still for the most part unusable until I could find energy heal it more, but finally I got it and sunk back down into the seat closing my eyes for a moment and hoping to get a chance to relax.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew a loud whistle and the jerk of the train brought me awake. I nearly jumped when I opened my eyes and realized that Draco was sitting across from me but also Pansy, Blaise and Millicent had all come in without me noticing.

“Hey Harry.” The soft listless tone was not what I had expected coming from Draco, and a flash of fear and hurt ran through me.

‘Did he not want to be my friend anymore? Has he realized I’m not worthy of being around him?’ My thoughts ran frantic before I gave them a mental slap for becoming dependent on something and croaked out an equally soft hello. At the sound of my raspy voice all the heads turned to me.

“Wow Harry that sounds bad.” Pansy commented before turning back to her conversation with Millicent.

I turned from Pansy to see Draco still looking at me. “I’m fine.” I tried to reassure him but something caught my eye. I focused harder on his face for a second and that’s when I saw. Draco was wearing a glamour and through it was a nasty looking bruise. My eyes narrowed at the mark and I felt the anger and magic suddenly boil up inside of me. “Are you ok?” I asked giving a slight nod to the mark.

His eyes widened, clearly surprised that I had seen it before looking resigned. “Let’s go for a walk.” He suggested and he got up and led the way out. I had to use the window ledge for support, my limbs unusually tired, and another string of coughs hit me as I followed him down the hall.

“You should really see Madame Pomfrey when we get to Hogwarts.” Draco said glancing back for a moment.

“I’m fine.” I repeated, as I pulled my hand down to see more blood. As we walked past the food trolley I snagged some napkins, wiping the blood off my hands and stuffing some extras into my pockets.

Finally we made it to the last cart that held nothing but luggage, usually a favorite make-out spot for couples who hadn’t seen each other all summer. Draco just stood there, staring at the floor for a moment unsure what to say and I could feel his anxiety building.

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you could see through it.” He said glancing up for a moment before looking away again. I waited, feeling the pressure of his powerful emotions growing and growing until his body was practically screaming at my empathic abilities ‘hold me’ ‘comfort me.’ Despite my discomfort at the idea I made my way up behind him and slowly wrapped my one good arm around him. The physically contact amplified my empathy so much I couldn’t even think, caught up myself in his nervousness, his shame, his pain. But with my arms around him it eased and other things made their way in; comfort, peace, happiness and arousal. The last made me want to jerk away with fear but I held against it and instead began to send him more comfort, acceptance and trust. I felt his body relax further and held tighter as not to let him fall.

“It was my mother.” He said softly, indifferently, but inside his pain and self-hate surged again.

“Shhh.” I said soft in his ear as I had seen my aunt do once, and projected more emotions on him, more comfort and acceptance.

“I told her and father my big secret. I told them I was gay.” He tensed for a moment and I could feel all of his emotions so strongly I didn’t need to read his mind.

“I would never turn away from you.” I whispered again send more comfort and was pleased to feel him relax once more.

“Thanks. I mean… usually it’s not a problem. Males can get pregnant after all so the wizarding world doesn’t care.” My body tensed and surprise ran through me and since I was so open to Draco right then he knew exactly what I felt. “You didn’t know?”

“No. Raised by muggles remember, but continue.”

“Father seemed to have no problem; actually he almost seemed pleased by it. But mother was furious, she glared at father like it was his fault or something and stormed from the room. She didn’t speak to me for two weeks and then last night as I was watching over the house elves pack my last things she came in and ordered them out. She… she just walked up and slapped me.”

The immense hurt that he felt slammed into me and I gritted my teeth trying not to be lost in it. “Then…” Draco gasped for a breath, his body shaking in my arms despite the calm I was sending him. “she said I disgusted her, that what I am is wrong and had she known she would have killed me when I was born.”

Draco broke down into sobs, collapsing to the floor and I followed continuing to hold him. My own anger was greater than I had ever felt before, I wanted to kill this woman for hurting him, this boy was my friend, and no one would hurt him. “I’ll kill her.” I thought, not realizing I had said it out loud.

~Can I bite her?~ Persephone hissed in my ear.

~I won’t let her die that quickly.~ I hissed back without hesitation.

“No! I…I don’t want her dead. She’s still my mother.” He whispered softly. “Besides, father came in and took her away; I think he’ll take care of it. It’s just…”

“You know she’s wrong right Draco?”

“I… yeah. Father talked to me. I just didn’t think she would hate me.” He said before another sob shook his body.

“Then she’s not worthy of you. You’re an amazing person Draco and if she is to give you up over such a thing then she never deserved you.”

“Thanks Harry.” He said softly turning into my chest, hands twisting into my robes.

The movement reminded me of the unhealed lashes on my back, the bruises covering my body and the bones that had yet to nit back together. I gritted my teeth and gasped for the breath that I have been having trouble getting recently.

“Harry, are you alright?” He asked, leaning back to get a better look at me.

“Just still angry.” I partially lied, avoiding his eyes.

“You care about me that much?” He asked softly drawing my eyes back to his liquid silver ones.

“You are the only person I care about.” I said with conviction. He gave a shaky smile before his hand reached up twisting into my hair as he leaned closer and pressed his soft lips to mine. I remained frozen, unsure of what to do. This wasn’t like with my uncle or Lockhart and I didn’t know what my part in it was. I wasn’t sure that I wanted this but if it was what he needed then I would give it, so gently I reciprocated the kiss. After a moment he slowly pulled back staring at me with a blinding smile.

“Was that your first kiss?” He asked in a whisper. Suddenly ashamed I looked away, how could I tell him that it wasn’t, that I was used and dirty. “It’s ok, were a little you. I hadn’t expected you had.” I remained silent, leaving him in his ignorance while inside I suddenly felt sick. I wanted to throw up at the thought of what I had done; Draco would be so disgusted, I shouldn’t even be touching him.

“We should head back.” I whispered still unable to look at him and could feel from his emotions that he believed me only embarrassed. He got up, using his wand to make all traces of his tears disappear; too distracted to notice me wince and grab my ribs as I stood.

“Lets go.” He said about to go but I grabbed his arm.

“Wait.” I said, and reached out towards his cheek. Using the energy my anger had given me I healed his check. Surprised he reached up and touched his cheek gently then smiled.

“Thanks.” He whispered grabbing my recently broken fingers and dragging me back to the others.

***

When we were back in the compartment it was like nothing had happened. Draco got into a deep conversation with Blaise and I sat quietly reading from one of my new school books. The screech of the train’s wheels brought our attention away from such things and I felt something strange. The train stopped completely, the lights flickering off and though there was something moving outside I could no longer see through the windows.

Inside my body was thrumming with nervousness, there was something strange growing nearer. I had never felt anything like them before, but I could feel them with my empathic gift and it felt nothing like a human. They seemed to be eating happy thoughts leaving only painful ones at the top of people’s minds.

Before I had any longer to think about it our compartment door was opened and we were faced with one of the cloaked figures. I could feel and see it drawing our joyful thoughts away and before I could do anything I was drowned in a nightmare. It was every horrible thing I didn’t want to think about pushing itself to the top of my mind and I felt what strength I had leave me as I collapsed to the floor.

***

I’m not sure what happened but eventually I was awoken by Draco’s voice. I opened my eyes to see the lights back on and that the train had started moving again. Everyone was concerned about me, asking what was wrong but after a sharp retort they reluctantly returned to their conversations, only Draco still keeping an eye on me.

*****

At the feast Dumbledore explained that with the escape of Sirius Black there would now be Dementors surrounding the school for our protection. From what I had read of them, and what I had just experienced that sounded like the stupidest thing I had ever heard. I could tell that there was something that he wasn’t telling everyone so I sent Persephone and a few other snakes around the school on a mission to figure out what was really going on.

Besides that everything else essentially was normal, only my incessant coughing drawing too much attention to me. I became very quick at silencing spells so I wouldn’t bother anyone but everything seemed to be draining me of more energy. Persephone and Draco were constantly harping on me to see Pomfrey but I had never gone to a doctor for an illness before and didn’t see why I needed to now. I heard horror stories all my life about seeing doctors, and I figured if my body couldn’t heal itself I was weak, and I refused to be weak.

The first night back Draco gave me the first birthday presents I had ever gotten and they were amazing. I stared in complete wonderment for probably ten minutes at the book with powerful and dark offensive spells and the box containing some of the rarest potion ingredients from basilisk scales to unicorn horn dust. I couldn’t believe he had done such a thing and knowing he would appreciate it I wrapped my arms around him whispering my thanks in his ear and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.


The only other strange thing going on was the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher Remus Lupin. I didn’t get the same creepy vibe that I got from Lockhart, but he did stare at me a lot. I was half annoyed and half grateful when he didn’t give me a chance to face the Boggart in his class because I didn’t think I had the energy to fight it despite all my injuries having healed by then. As it turned out my body ran out of energy anyway.

As we were walking towards Charms another coughing fit hit me. I dropped back discreetly, doubling over as I felt more blood splash onto my hand and my body shake with exhaustion. The last thing I heard as I collapsed to the floor and fell unconscious was Draco calling out to me.

***

When I awoke my mind was working but not my body. I lay there for what seemed like hours, hearing everything but not strong enough to open my eyes or even twitch a finger. An eternity later I heard the door open and two voices fill the room belonging to the Headmaster and his deputy.

“Look at him Albus, he might die if you don’t. The pneumonia has almost drained him completely.”

Pneumonia? Hmm, that’s not good.

“He is too young to hold all his power, we can’t risk him being corrupted and joining Tom.” Dumbledore responded sound as imperious as ever.

“And if you don’t give him some he won’t even live to be able to fight You-Know-Who.”

There was silence for a few seconds while I raged in my mind at the further violation this man had done to me.

“Alright Minerva, but just enough for him to become healthy again.” I felt cold hands on my forehead and chest as the Headmaster began to mumble in a language I didn’t know. It felt like he was scraping away at my insides, like it would if someone took a drill to one of my bones. I wanted to scream but suddenly something cracked and a rush of heat flooded my veins making me hungry for something I didn’t understand. I could feel all the tiny fractures in my bones nit together, felt it rush through my lungs clearing everything out and cooling them. It felt right, this was a part of me I had been missing, and I was so hungry. More energy continued to slip out the crack but then I felt Dumbledore closing whatever it was again. Desperately I sent some of the energy back telling it to prevent the hole from being closed, and with a message saying ‘it’s closed, locked away again’ ‘don’t need to seal it up anymore.’ With the slightest crack still there Dumbledore drew out, evidently not realizing the deception before him.

“It’s done. He should awake in a few hours not knowing anything was different.” Dumbledore said softly as he ran his hand through my hair making me internally snarl wanting his hand off of me.

“Come let’s let him rest.” McGonagall said softly and after a moment I heard the door close behind them.

‘I will have my revenge old man.’ I thought to myself joyfully as I felt my body slowly drift into a natural sleep.

‘Damn am I hungry.’