Heat, Light and the Properties of Plants

Chapter 20 ... Seed

Snape sat for a long time, absently turning the little bottle of tears over and over in his hands. A sudden impulse of rage rose up in him: he longed to smash the bottle, rush up to the hospital wing and rape Potter\'s unconscious body, then disappear into the night ...

He sat rigidly, crushing the self-destructive impulse, where had that come from? His only hope of stability, of life itself, lay with Harry Potter... and he wanted it to - didn\'t he?

Shocked by what he\'d so nearly done, Snape got up and carried the bottle over to the goblet of potion which Hermione had left on the work table. He carefully emptied his tears into the potion, then picked up an ivory rod and stirred them in, reciting quietly \"Tears from pity, giving peace.\"

He put the rod down, returned to his chair and sat there, shaking. Eventually he got up and walked stiffly over to his desk, feeling drained and old. What was that Miss Granger had said about a photograph?

Snape picked up Harry\'s backpack, turned it upside down and shook the contents out over his desk. Harry\'s wizard photograph stared up at him and smiled lovingly. Snape picked it up. \"Harry,\" he whispered despairingly to the photograph. \"Help me.\"

Instantly the tiny figure winked cheefully, then tugged a disproportionately large cock out of its briefs - Quercus\'s enthusiasm had run away with him rather when casting his spell - and waved it invitingly at him.

\"Oh Harry,\" gasped Snape, torn between tears and laughter. \"You always manage to surprise me.\"

He watched the image of Harry grinning cheekily at him, its tiny hand moving suggestively up and down its penis. Instinctively Snape unzipped his trousers, pulled out his now half-hard cock and began to copy the image\'s actions.

Had Harry actually done this in front of the photographer? The thought was surprisingly arousing.

\"I\'ll teach you to flaunt yourself with strangers,\" Snape growled at the photograph, seizing the edge of the desk with one hand, the other hand continuing to work his cock. He dug his fingers into the wood of the desk as though into Harry\'s neck. His cock was now full and hard, pointing up at the desk, its swollen head free of his foreskin, glistening dark red and aching ...

\"Maybe we should both - UNGH - pay a visit - URRGH - to the studio - ARRGH - get a picture of me - FUCKING! YOUR! SODDING! BRAINS! OUT !!!\"

And with one last savage grunt Snape came, violently, his spunk spattering all over his desk. Then he cursed, realising that Hermione\'s little glass bottle was still standing there unopened. He snatched it up impatiently, wrenched out the stopper and held the bottle to the edge of his desk, catching the viscous drips as they slowly ran down the wood.

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In the hospital wing Ron and Hermione were sitting beside Harry\'s bed, keeping watch over him for what had already seemed like hours. It was still dark outside and even the stars were hidden by clouds. The room was very quiet, the candles burned low. Hermione and Ron were holding hands, the free hand of each clutching one of Harry\'s white, cold hands which lay passively on top of his blanket.

Suddenly the door crashed open. The draught blew all the candle flames into long guttering streamers pointing towards Harry\'s bed at the far end of the long room. Snape strode in, his black gown billowing around him. Madam Pomfrey tried to stop him but he shouldered her aside. He marched straight up to Harry\'s bed, a smoking goblet held carefully in his hands.

He fixed Ron and Hermione with a black stare. \"You may leave.\"

\"No - \" Ron began to protest, but Snape cut across him. \"This part of the ritual is private, Mr Weasley,\" he hissed.

Ron looked as though he\'d still like to argue, but Hermione pulled him to his feet. \"Come on, Ron,\" she said. \"We can wait in the Gryffindor common-room.\"

Snape regarded her approvingly. \"And take that interfering bitch Pomfrey with you,\" he said, his voice a menacing deep growl.

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When Hermione and Ron had gone, Snape put the goblet on Harry\'s bedside table and pulled up a chair. He sat down and contemplated Harry\'s white, still face for a long moment. Then he dipped a finger in the goblet and wet it with the potion. Leaning forward, he pressed the finger to Harry\'s lips. There was no response.

Frowning, Snape got up from the chair and lowered himself to his knees beside the bed. He took Harry\'s face in his hands and gently kissed him on the lips. Harry\'s lips were icy, and Snape felt a sudden clutch of fear in his guts.

\"Harry,\" he breathed against his lover\'s lips in a deep, urgent murmur. \"Harry.\"

The youth moaned and his eyes flickered. Snape\'s long fingers traced Harry\'s cheek, his jaw, his lips. This time Harry\'s lips parted slightly; keeping one hand pressed to the younger man\'s cheek Snape quickly reached back to the goblet with the other and wetted his fingers again. He pushed the wet fingers deep into Harry\'s mouth. The youth swallowed convulsively.

With a grunt of satisfaction, Snape levered himself up off his knees and sat back on the chair. He picked up the goblet and dipped his tongue deeply into it, then leant forward and tenderly teased his tongue into Harry\'s mouth, transferring a few drops of the precious potion. Harry sucked feebly at his lover\'s tongue.

Snape crooked his fingers under Harry\'s chin and tilted his head back slightly. \"Drink this my love,\" he whispered quietly, holding the goblet to Harry\'s lips. Weakly, Harry took a sip, then opened his eyes. He smiled. \"Severus?\"

\"Yes, Harry, hush, drink the potion.\"

Shakily Harry propped himself up in bed and groped for his glasses. Snape picked them up and helped him put them on. They exchanged a long look, then Harry took the goblet in his hands. Snape wrapped his own hands round Harry\'s to help him hold it steady. \"I remember,\" Harry said slowly ... \"Half for me ... \" he took a gulp of the potion \"Here\'s to us!\" He took another gulp, then feebly pushed the goblet towards Snape \".. and half for you.\"

Snape took the goblet away from him and smiled wryly. This second dose of potion would remove any hope he\'d ever had of breaking free from Potter - but then he didn\'t want to - did he? Dammit, he\'d had more sense that first time, when he was all but unconscious ...

He raised the goblet to the annoying, demanding, adorable brat smiling up at him from the bed, said slowly \"To us.\" and swallowed the remaining potion with one long gulp.

Harry reached out and pulled his lover towards him; Snape bowed his head and his curtains of black hair hung around both their faces as he pressed his lips eagerly to Harry\'s. And Merlin knows what would have happened next, if Madam Pomfrey hadn\'t come storming back into the room and shooed him away.

\"You\'ve done very well with your unnatural potion, now leave him alone, he needs to rest,\" she scolded. \"You can come back tomorrow evening if he\'s well enough to have visitors.\"

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Harry drifted in and out of consciousness all the next day. Towards evening he sensed a familiar presence, and opened his eyes. Severus Snape was sitting on the end of his bed, looking down at him solemnly.

\"Severus!\" he said. \"Was I dreaming, last night - about the potion?\" And that Snape had called him \'my love\', surely that had been a dream? His endearments had never before included the word \'love\'.

\"No dream,\" Snape told him. \"Now, each of us has made the Essences potion for the other, our bond is doubly strong.\" He seemed surprisingly pleased about this.

\"You know,\" Harry said apologetically, \"there was a moment when I wondered whether you really had betrayed me to Fenrir.\"

Snape frowned. \"I must confess, there was a moment, more than a moment, when I very nearly did. It was touch and go for a while. I\'d been fighting myself over what to do.\"

He reached out and took Harry\'s hand. \"But then when I saw you again, stepping out into that clearing without any sign of fear, I ... knew.\"

He lifted Harry\'s hand to his lips and ran his tongue up and down it. \"Whenever I see you, all my doubts are laid to rest,\" he whispered against his lover\'s palm.

\"I need to ask you about something else,\" Harry said suddenly. Snape raised an eyebrow. Harry went on \"That day in the Silent Witch - you were talking about ...\" he faltered \"... about two rent boys you\'d had the night before...\"

Snape looked sharply at him. \"You heard that? You were there?\"

\"Under the table,\" Harry confessed. \"Wearing my Invisibility Cloak.\"

Snape sighed. \"I thought I felt something,\" he murmured. \"Then I lost you again.\" He patted Harry\'s hand in approval. \"Your Occlumency is improving.\"

\"Don\'t change the subject!\" Harry snapped. \"I want - I want to know -\"

\"Yes?\"

\"Did you really have sex with them?\"

Snape looked down. There was a long silence. \"Would it help if I said I didn\'t enjoy it?\" he asked finally.

\"No,\" Harry said, giving Snape an indignant green glare \"it wouldn\'t. Because I wouldn\'t believe you.\"

Snape glanced at him. \"And you\'d be right,\" he said. \"I did enjoy it ... in a way. But not a very ... nice ... way.\"

Harry winced as if Snape had hit him. There was another long pause.

\"So ... would you ... do it again?\" Harry asked finally.

Snape frowned. \"I doubt I can change my nature completely, even for you. There\'ll probably always be times when I have ... urges...\" He paused. Was this actually still true any more? Certainly at the moment all he could think of was Harry ... But he knew himself too well; he\'d be bound to revert to type ...

\"Then how can I live with you?\" Harry cried passionately. \"How will I know you won\'t always be sneaking off to some knocking shop in Knockturn Alley?\"

Snape was silent. Harry looked at him imploringly. \"Couldn\'t I satisfy your ... urges?\"

\"You do satisfy most of them,\" Snape murmured, in a low growl which sent a frisson through Harry. \"And as for the rest - \" He looked away. \"There was a time I thought you might be persuaded ... but now I know I can\'t risk it. Sometimes I get carried away, and the ... boys ... can get ... damaged.\"

He glanced at the horrified expression on Harry\'s face and gave an apologetic shrug. \"They\'re just cheap trash, Harry - they\'re expendable - \"

He broke off. Harry was looking even more horrified, and, worse, as it he wanted to cry.

Snape glanced over his shoulder to where Madam Pomfrey had come out of her office and was looking at him sternly. He wanted to take Harry in his arms and reassure him physically, but knew very well that she would ban him from the hospital wing completely if he did.

\"I can promise you this, Harry,\" Snape said earnestly. \"For the forseeable future, you\'re all I\'m going to want.\"

And Harry had to be content with that for the moment; he went on to ask less controversial questions - when were Ron and Hermione going to be allowed in to see him? How were Remus, and Tonks? What had happened to Fenrir and his werewolves? Had the Ministry of Magic been told about the Silent Witch? ...

Eventually Snape got up to go. \"Madam Pomfrey is very protective of you,\" he said. \"I\'d better not stay too long.\" He kissed the tips of his fingers then pressed them gently to Harry\'s lips. \"Get well soon,\" he murmured, his dark eyes devouring Harry. \"I\'d like to move you into my rooms and have you all to myself for a while.\"

Harry shivered. He watched Snape walk the length of the room. He heard him exchange a few words with Madam Pomfrey before sweeping out of the door, his black robes swirling.

Harry was left to wonder quite how far ahead Snape\'s \'forseeable future\' would stretch ...


TBC >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>