Cracking the Gold

Author\'s Note: I want to appologize for taking so long to get this chapter up. =_= I\'ve been busy with school and my sister\'s wedding--which is why you won\'t get another chapter for a few days most likely. Tomorrow I\'ll be packing,a nd I\'m leaving on Friday. The wedding is saturday, and I won\'t be back until Sunday, and I have a college interview on monday morning. >_< Ugh. Then my schoolprojects demand my attention right after that. Sooo....yea. *smirks* Imight put one more up if there\'s an appropriate cliff hanger to leave you on for those few days. *grins*

Disclaimer: See Introduction

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Harry didn\'t see this, but instead blushed at the touch of the blonde. His fingers found their way to the collar around his neck; or more specifically, the tag. He toyed with it and twirled it in his fingers, rubbing it gently eyes low to the ground. He was still trying to calm his unusually fast racing pulse.


Draco smiled, fingers settling through the other\'s hair again, petting lightly


Harry took a deep calming breath and sat there for a moment. His mind was racing again. He needed to do something about it. But what? His eyes opened and stared at the ground some more. Screw it.

Within a second, Harry turned and cupped a hand behind Draco\'s neck and kissed him firmly.


Draco was mildly surprised by that, but returned the kiss, purring softly, his own fingers finding their way into the hair at the nape of Harry\'s neck in turn, tongue fluttering against the seam of the other\'s lips.


A quiet murmur sounded before Harry pushed himself away, standing quickly and going to the window. He leaned on his hands and hung his head, shaking it and running a hand through his hair tightly.


Draco tilted his head then, leaning back against the couch, \"What is it Harry?\"


Harry... As ironic as it was, Harry almost hated Draco calling him by his name. He leaned over more and ran his hands through is hair again. \"Wasn\'t supposed to....was meant to....don\'t underst....\" He was muttering sentences, but only some of which could be even remotely heard even to himself. Perhaps the sentences were partially in his head.


His brow furrowed at that, unfolding slowly to his feet and padding closer, arm slinking around Harry\'s waist, \"Harry?\"


Bloody hell...stop it! Harry\'s knees almost buckled at Draco\'s touch, practically falling back on him. His hands wanted to cover his face, but they wouldn\'t go there. \"It was supposed to--to be horrible. T-to set aside my thoughts. This isn\'t right, it\'s supposed to be all a spell, a hex, something; not this. This isn\'t right... I\'m not...I was supposed to...hate it...\" His voice seemed to be trailing parts of his dismantled thoughts now, not directed to answer the blonde prince, but to mutter to himself more so.


Draco\'s brow furrowed further at that, blinking and shaking his head, \"What are you talking about harry?\"


Harry\'s face was flushed in near realization. \"I....that...was supposed to...be nothing. To--to be horrid and make me want to retch... I...\" Harry sunk to the ground. \"I had it all figured out. Everything was a spell, a hex, a potion---something. Nothing was real. Merlin you\'re....you\'re a Malfoy. I hate your bloody guts. This was all part of a sick twisted joke. I just needed to prove it, and...and... It\'s...\" His head slumped back into his prying hands, the fingers pulling at his hair. He didn\'t know what to think anymore--at least not right then.


Draco blinked twce at that, then twice again, brow arching, \"Is that what this is all about?\" He shook his head, trailing his fingers tentatively through the other\'s hair, \"And who says that you can\'t adore me as much as I adore you? Where is that written?\"


\"It\'s not--I just... I\'m not... This isn\'t...\" Blimey, he couldn\'t explain it. The position he was in in general wasn\'t right. He associated what he was feeling, with what Draco was doing. But all Harry really saw the blonde as doing, was having a few laughs with a \'pet\', something he probably didn\'t even want. Everything in Harry\'s world had just turned completely upside down with the battle---the war, and he was still having difficulty with the turn of events. \"It\'s not........me....\"


Draco tutted, shaking his head and ruffling his fingers gently through the other\'s hair again, \"It is though. You\'ll learn to adapt, or you\'ll go crazy, which despite what you might think, isn\'t something I relish.\"


Oh, what did Malfoy know about who Harry was anyway? Maybe he\'d prefer being crazy. No one would expect anything of him, right? He wouldn\'t have to save anyt... He couldn\'t anyway. He\'d lost. He kept forgetting this, but he knew the nights would remind him. They had since he lost. Some more strongly than others. Harry took a deep breath and sighed. So many things to think about---not nearly enough brainspace.


Draco shook his head, ruffling his fingers through the other man\'s hair once more, \"You should sleep Harry. Just relax for a while, let yourself unwind, not think about anything for a while.\"


Harry\'s eyes looked to Draco\'s softly, internally realizing that maybe Draco hadn\'t been as harsh with him all this time as he\'d thought. Maybe Harry had been trying to push him away. He didn\'t want to sleep really---because that\'s when he saw \'Moine and Ron and \'the clan\' again. That\'s when the battle re-played itself like a broken record in his mind\'s eye. When everything pointed to mistakes he\'d made along the way, to how he could have saved more people. Possibly how he could have won.


Draco tilted his head, waiting for a response, \"Would you like to lie down for a while pet? I could get you a dreamless sleel draught if that\'s what you\'re worried about.\"


Harry nodded slowly, feeling childish, but figuring t was about time he lived his childhood and teens. He\'d been forced to grow up too much at the Dursley\'s and just felt weird asking for anything. He\'d never really trusted the blonde before--only his own friends, yet he\'d never had a family or anyone to love or anything sappy like that. It was overwhelming at the moment. \"Yes....please....\" He swatted his mind to shut up as he half cuddled closer to Draco for comfort. He felt bad as it was only about half noon, but he needed to relax--to not think for a bit. Like Draco had said.

Harry stood, but practically fell over onto Draco asleep in exhaustion. His body seemed to have just said enough was enough and shut down on itself. Mandatory rest period.

Draco smiled slightly at that, simply sweeping Harry up onto the couch, ruffling a hand through his hair once more, gently brushing the strands away from his eyes. He nodded once before unfolding to go and fetch the dreamless sleep draught like he\'d promised.


Harry barely stirred when Draco returned, twisting and turning slightly on the couch. He made small murmuring noises, his hand occasionally moving to rise to his forehead, but never far enough to reach his \"burning\" scar.


Draco shushed him gently, brushing his bangs away from the scar again, just lightly, nudging his shoulder, \"Harry, wake up a moment, can\'t force this down your throat.\"


Harry\'s eyes tightened for one reason or another, before he bolted awake, eyes darting around--seemingly taking a few moments for him to recognize he wasn\'t in his dream. As soon as he realized Draco was there, he immediately pretended that he\'d only been startled, and shrugged it all off.


Draco smiled slightly, just the faintest tug at the corner of his mouth, running his fingers through the other man\'s hair again, he really did like the feel of it, \"Here.\" He offered up the vial with the potion


Harry reached for it, then paused, looking into Draco\'s eyes. \"What is it...?\" It was almost as if he was afraid that it would burn his hands at a touch when he pulled his hand back. Really, he knew it couldn\'t hurt him through the vile, but---who knows.


His brow furrowed, blinking twice, \"It\'s the dreamless sleep draught. You asked for it.\"


Harry blinked, shaking his head. \"Right...sorry... Sleep...drowsy--whatever.\" He felt stupid... He\'d completely forgotten he\'d been asked if he wanted it. He smiled weakly in appology.


He nodded, smiling slightly again as he offered it once more, \"You\'ll feel better once you have a good night\'s rest.\"


Harry thanked him with a softness in his eyes briefly before he gently took the vile and brought it to his lips. He hesitated, figuring it was either made by Snape, or it was one of his potions--and from a majority experience, they hadn\'t tasted good. Taking a deep breath, he tilted his head back and swallowed it quickly.


Draco nodded as he took the vial again, petting the other man\'s hair once more, \"Just sleep now pet. Everything will look better after a nice long rest.\"


Harry yawned, leaning far enough into the pet that he ended up leaning on the blonde. He didn\'t really care at that moment. Maybe it was something he needed to help his whirling brain. He was happy to find it slowly whirring to a stutter, then to a stop. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, let the air out, then let himself drift off.


Draco smiled slightly at that, making himself comfortable. It was a nice feeling really, to be able to support Harry while he slept, it made him feel trusted and needed.


At that moment, Draco was needed, though Harry wouldn\'t admit it to himself. He was needed because Harry felt like someone, oddly, when he was with Draco. It amused his waking mind to think that the man he detested the most, seemed to care for him the most. Draco didn\'t seem to care that he was Harry Potter, The Boy Who Failed. He\'d heard some of the DE\'s and other various people snigger at him when he was still under Voldemort\'s chambers.


Honestly Draco cared for him as one would care for a favorite pet, which was rather what Harry was to him, a pretty, intelligent pet. He settled, relaxing to take a nap himself.


Hours later, Harry\'s green eyes parted to peer through his eyelashes with an odd calm about him. He felt as if he\'d slept better than he had in years. Opening his eyes fully, he remembered why and smiled only barely. He pretended to still be asleep so it wouldn\'t seem as if he\'d stayed there willingly after he\'d woken up and the other hadn\'t.


Draco had blinked awake at the other\'s movement. He wasn\'t ever a heavy sleeper really. and now was no exception, even with the warmth.


Harry didn\'t notice, and continued his \'sleeping\'. His eyes shifted occasionally underneath his lids as his mind flipped through thoughts more calmly than they had yesterday, though still confused as ever.


Draco smiled slightly, he could tell by Harry\'s breathing that he wasn\'t asleep, but if the other wanted to cling to that illusion, he wasn\'t going to break it.


Harry blushed slightly when he remembered his actions in attempts to prove that he didn\'t feel anything for the blonde. He still didn\'t want to let it reach his mind that he might--possibly--not hate the Malfoy he had fallen asleep on...


Draco smiled, ruffling the brunette\'s hair gently, \"sleep well?\" He finally asked, not sure why Harry was resisting being awake


Harry nodded slowly, stretching out. \"Yea...\" He sat up slowly, searching for a clock, wondering how long he\'d put Draco behind schedule...

Draco smiled, nodding then and smoothing Harry\'s hair back again, \"Good. You needed it.\"


Harry was resisting letting his eyes fall closed less and less with every minute it seemed. He couldn\'t deny that that particular touch....was nice.


He nodded again, still petting, \"Do you think you\'ll need another draught before bed?\"


\"I don\'t know...\" He didn\'t want to need it, didn\'t want to admit to himself the nightmares he was having. Truth was, he\'d probably say no, and need it anyway--not realizing it\'d be easier on both of them to just shove pride aside and say \'yes\' now.


He nodded then, petting the other\'s hair once more, \"Alright, let me know if you do though.\" He tilted his head then, \"Are you hungry? The houselves should about have dinner ready by now.\"


\"Not really actually...\" He sounded odd at this. It was like, he thought he hadn\'t eaten in years, yet still found himself to not be hungry.


Draco nodded slowly, \"You should probably try to eat something anyway pet, can\'t have you collapsing from exhaustion because you haven\'t eaten.\"


The brunette nodded. This was true. Wait. Now he thought the blonde was right? Ohh...Harry Harry... What are you doing to yourself?


Draco smiled slightly at the apparent dilemma, shaking his head and ruffling the other\'s hair again, \"Good boy.\" He unfolded, offering a hand, \"Come along then.\"


A hand. What was he to do with it? Oh...take it. Right. Harry blinked before hesitantly, voluntarily, touching the other and using his help to stand.


He smiled slightly at that, leading Harry almost gently out to the dining room, even drawing the other\'s chair out for him.


He felt like a schoolgirl, blushing at the action. He sat slowly and fiddled with his hands in his lap.


He smiled again, settling in his own seat, arching a brow at the fact that dinner wasn\'t yet on the table. Though the houselves hurried out with it moments later.


Harry smiled at the elves as they hurried around, feeling bad that they were worked so hard. Hermoine seemed to have rubbed off on him somewhat. He quickly changed his line of thought as he felt tears well up at the thought of them.


Draco smiled once dinner was on the table, clearing his throat as he set in to eat, serving himself. Harry still wasn\'t allowed a knife, but he had a fork now at least.


Harry was amused at this. He had figured out that he must\'ve been earning his way up, but he was curious as to how he was raising himself so high, so quickly, in a pure-bloods books. He attempted to make a mental note to possibly ask the blonde later. Possibly. He probably didn\'t want to know.


More than likely he didn\'t want to know, aside from the fact that he was just proving that he wouldn\'t attempt anything foolish with the utensils, he had earned at least some level of trust.


Harry reached for some sugar rolls hungrily and popped a few onto his plate, along with a few other things.

Draco smiled slightly, glad to see that Harry hadn\'t completely lost his appeite at least.


Nope. Sugar. He ate politely as he always had, but hungrily. The few weeks of starvation did more anger to his stomach than he knew or cared to admit.


Draco ate his own dinner in the usual silence, cutting each bite carefully, watching Harry out of the corner of his eye


Harry didn\'t eat much, as he filled quickly then felt extremely rude for eating so...hurridly? He didn\'t know why he felt bad for finishing before Draco, but he did. He was just used to eating fast. Eat, force the food down, rush off to a night in the Library solving some unknown riddle that would eventually save someone\'s life. So why couldn\'t I save them...any of them...? Harry stared at his lap.


Draco\'s head tilted, watching his pet\'s sudden change in demeanor, \"Something the matter Harry?\"


Harry shook his head slowly, not seeming too sure in his answer. Was anything the matter? He didn\'t know whether to be sad or happy. Sad that he\'d been unable to save so many people, including most of his friends. Sad that they didn\'t live when it was *him* who should have died for the war. Or happy that they didn\'t have to live this horror.


Draco nodded slowly, just watching Harry still, \"If you insist.\" And that was that as far as he was concerned, he\'d done what he could.


His eyes switched to stare out the window at the sparkling stars instead. Change of mind.


Draco tilted his head, watching his pet more intently at that point, curious as to what was going through his mind, but not about to ask, nor go prying if he could.


Harry felt the eyes on him, and wasn\'t too surprised. Maybe he just needed to talk, to get the battle--the war from his head and be done. \"I could have saved them. And I didn\'t. I don\'t know why, but I didn\'t. We could have won...but did we really lose?\" The last part was quiet as he thought about why he wasn\'t dead. Hadn\'t the prophecy mentioned something about one dying for the other to win...or something of the like? And the more Hary thought about it, he became more confused. He was almost happy losing--spending this time with.... No. No I\'m not.

Draco smiled, \"Prophets don\'t know everything.\" He hadn\'t known the other\'s thought, but he had guessed. He shrugged, \"Apparently the magic between you and Voldemort is powerful enough that if one of you dies, you both do.\"


Harry looked at Draco. \"Really...?\" It had really been that simple all this time? He could\'ve spared all those families the grief by causing his non-existant family some. Of course. When Harry hadn\'t died that night, it connected them in more than Occulmency and all that. Their power was almost shared, if only by a thread. A switch flipped on in his mind. McGonagall was rather ill from the battle, but none the less she was the next in line to be Hogwarts Headmistress. All I need to do is...that...and McGonnagal can help bring the rest to order. I can spare more pain, and make up for that which I caused. I don\'t know if anyone knows or cares if I\'m still alive, but I can still do it.


Draco\'s brow arched slightly, just watching the other\'s face intently, head tilted slightly, \"What\'s going through that pretty little head of yours Harry?\" He finally asked, tone light, almost jovial.


Harry fought the urge to smile. He tried to plaster on a look of sadness as he shrugged. \"Nothing. Just thinking how much of a git you look like with food on your nose.\" He wasn\'t lying. It was there--but he\'d only just realized it.


His brow furrowed, fingers brushing aginst his nose, blinking when he found the splashed soup there, shaking his head as he wiped it away with a grimace


Harry almost giggled at this. It was amusing to see something to little annoy the blonde. He had a strong urge to dump his plate on the other and run to carry out the rest of his life before Draco had wiped the potatoes from his eyes.


Though that of course was something that would get the other man hexed, despite the fact that Draco quite liked him.


How was Harry to know this? Even if he did, he\'d still try. Maybe he\'d be hexed badly enough to die. It would all work in the end wouldn\'t it? Yes. Yes it would. Harry decided this. He knew how it had to go too. A simple alone time. A mirror. And the AK. Or he could go the muggle way and slit himself silly or hang himself--which would only be last resources really. Harry\'s eyes had refocused on his lap during this thought process, and he didn\'t really notice that despite his willingness to do it--he had remains of tears on his lashes.


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Responses to Reviews on this chapter

LPhoenix
so all harry has to do is ax himself and old voldie dies? how sad.....
i\'m glad that harry is falling into his role with draco tho, quite a confusing mix of emotions i imagine...
update soon..

Would seem so, wouldn\'t it? *is curious* How do you mean \'falling into his role with Draco\'? *raises eyebrow*


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Fefs
Every time i read your fic i\'m amazed with your talent... These last chapters were really good! This Harry\'s plan was so cute.. so childish and desparete: cute in a Harry way. Draco said he adores Harry... *fefs smiles*
I\'m so curious... now i\'m beginning to think that in the end Draco and snape will help harry to kill Voldemort but it will be with lots of Drama since his death would induce harry\'s as well.. Oh, and please forgive me for my abssence but i was kind of depressed with some things in my life and not even slash could make me happy.. But now i\'m back!! =D
Well, good party for you, have lots of fun and inspiration and when you get back give us another incredible chapter!! Ciau!

*blushes* They\'re no good, really... ^_~ The good stuff is still coming! *giggles* I never thought about that--the Draco/Snape helping kill Tom thing. That would be sooooooooo dramatic and depressing!! I LOVE it! *grins like an idiot* lol. I rather enjoy the link thing, I might just add it to every other fic I write. Lol. Don\'t worry about absenses. ^_^


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thrnbrooke
Need chapter 21! Harry plans to kill himself? No! He can\'t succeed!

*smiles sadly* We\'ll see hun. We\'ll see.


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ura
I love when Draco loves Harry even if it is perverted.

You aren\'t the only one. ^_^

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