Where Others Fear to Tread

Chapter 20

“You passed then?” Harry leapt into Sirius arms childishly as the boy barged in through the front door of Grimmauld Place, having just apperated alone onto the front pavement.

“Yep, only two mistakes. I left my shoe behind on the apperating to an unseen location test and I miscalculated the apperating into a confined space test and ended up in the fireplace instead of on the rug beside the fireplace.” Sirius smiled proudly at his godson as Remus walked in a second or two behind Harry carrying the boys bag for the week.

“So how are things with you Harry?” Sirius inquired as he walked with his godson into the kitchen, while Remus stowed Harry’s bag in the spare room upstairs.

“Okay, it’s nice not being ordered around and it’s absolutely brilliant being able to eat whatever and whenever I like. This has got to be one of my better summers.” Harry sat down at the kitchen table as Sirius poured out three glasses of pumpkin juice and joined Harry at the table.

“And what about things with your other half?” Sirius looked seriously across the table at Harry who sighed and lowered his head a little to stare at the glass in his hand. The two weeks leading up to him leaving Snape for the week had been absolutely hell. Harry had become moody and snappy, unable to comprehend that Draco would be there all week with Snape instead of him. It didn’t help either that the so called dinner party Snape was going to tonight, was at Malfoy Manor and was doubling as a meeting of the ‘death eaters’. Still Harry had pulled himself together long enough to apperate away from the castle but that didn’t mean he wasn’t completely thinking about Snape from the moment he’d left.

“Yeah we’re getting along alright. I’m still getting a hang of this emotional stuff though, it’s like my emotions are rebelling against my mind.” Harry smiled up at his godfather just as Remus walked in and sat himself down beside Harry at the table, grabbing for his own juice.

“They’ll settle down soon enough Harry, just give it time.” Having heard the last part of their conversation Remus put his hand comfortingly on the boys shoulder and offered his advice. Harry nodded quietly, although not sure himself his emotions were going to settle down like that. Of late he’d been having weird dreams and every morning for the past week he’d awoken in bed snuggled up into Snape’s side.

“So what have you got planned this week?” Harry inquired, changing the subject in case his emotions got the better of him again.

“Oh heaps of stuff. We’re going to a picnic tomorrow at the burrow, and Wednesday evening we’re going to the theater, Thursday we were thinking of taking a broom flight around the country side, perhaps even going for a swim up in the lake, and then Friday we’re planning a few drinks here before I take you home.” Remus easily listed off the planned events for the week and Harry practically bounced off his chair with excitement. At least with a filled week, he’d be less likely to think about Snape so much, or the evil little sneak of a blonde who was there in the castle with him.

“Wow sounds great, what’s today?” Harry asked cheekily as he watched his godfather jerk his head over towards the kitchen bench, where various cooking utensils and ingredients lay out ready for use.

“We have to cook some sweets for the picnic tomorrow.” Sirius didn’t sound too thrilled about the prospect of cooking but Harry thought it sounded fun.

“Yeah and we thought seeing as though you passed potions this year that you might actually be able to help us create something edible.” Remus stood to his feet and surveyed the kitchen counter with a wolf like sniff.

“But you can go upstairs and settle in first Harry, we can start this after lunch.” Sirius glared at Remus for having dumped Harry into the middle of their cooking crisis but the wolf merely laughed and rolled his eyes. Harry laughed too and with a smile at his godfather disappeared up to his room, to unpack and prepare himself for the week ahead

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Remus reclined back on the rocking chair while Harry sat on the porch steps a butter beer nestled in his hand. After a hard day’s cooking and a fair few disasters later, the three of them had created 20 small iced pixy cakes, and one large jam and cream sponge for the picnic tomorrow. Sirius had fallen asleep on the couch inside, his dog like snoring drowning out the television set, so Harry and Remus had moved outside into the silence of the back porch over looking the overgrown frog pond.

Harry leaned quietly against the upright of the porch and watched quietly as Remus rocked back and forth in the rickety old chair, the man’s expression completely relaxed. This week was the second after the full moon and so Harry knew Remus was still probably a little tired from his transformation but also glad it was over for another cycle.

Despite having been busy all day Harry hadn’t stopped thinking about Snape. It was strange knowing he wasn’t going to see him for a week and it was even stranger to know he’d be sleeping alone. For all it was worth, Harry had almost become used to waking up every morning next to Snape, although the morning after their monthly ritual was something Harry would always rather forget. After those first few times they’d stopped talking about sex, Harry just knew that every Friday on the last day of the month Snape would take him and he was ready for him. If anything positive was coming out of their sexual encounters it was that Harry had come to just accept it. There was very little pain now, and Snape was still gentle and not demanding. It was over relatively quickly too, Harry going so far as to time his mate’s actions from penetration to climax. Snape always whispered a word after he’d come but Harry could never make it out and had given up trying to decipher it. He had also given up hoping for arousal. What ever Snape did to him it wasn’t even remotely arousing and Harry never achieved more than a pleasant shudder usually when Snape climaxed inside of him. Embarrassing as it was Harry had stopped masturbating too, not only because of the fear of getting caught doing it in Snape’s bathroom but also because he found his stimulus material not stimulating anymore. In truth his entire sex life was a joke and it was beginning to take its toll. Harry needed to talk to someone and that someone was sitting in the rocking chair before him. It was just finding the right thing to break the ice with.

Swallowing a large gulp of butter beer Harry sighed and turned his attention fully on Remus.

“Remus?” Harry inquired quietly drawing the man’s attention back from the night sky to him. Acknowledging Harry with a nod of his head Remus stopped his rocking and waited for his charge to continue. “Have you got a mate?” Knowing that werewolves only mated with their own kind and for life, this question was not completely out there and it wasn’t too personal that Remus wouldn’t answer it.

“I have.” Remus answered quietly tucking his feet up onto the side of the chair. “She’s a werewolf from Liverpool and we meet every couple of months. On the full moon of course.” Harry nodded quietly watching Remus’ interest pick up at why Harry wanted to know.

“And do you, you know….do it in the woods so to speak?” Harry whispered hoping he hadn’t pushed it too far. The last thing he wanted to do was offend Remus. Remus chuckled at Harry’s comment and nodded knowingly.

“Aye, why else would I meet up with a female werewolf? To play cards?” Harry laughed a little as well, pleased Remus seemed to be fairly relaxed about discussing something this private. Wetting his lips with a swill of butter beer Harry steeled himself for what he was about to ask. Nervousness took hold before Harry could say anything and he lowered his gaze from Remus’ and blushed profusely in embarrassment. Picking up on Harry’s distress Remus stopped rocking again and moved forward in the chair, leaning just close enough to Harry to make the boy look up shyly. “We can talk about anything you like Harry, even sex, there’s no need to go all sheepish on me, for fucks sake I do it doggy style out in the open what could be possibly more embarrassing than that?” Harry blushed a deep shade of red but his gaze remained on Remus’

“Doggy Style?” Harry inquired completely in the dark about what the man was talking about. This time it was Remus’ turn to blush and the werewolf gingerly sat back in his chair.

“Um, it’s a sexual position but lets move on. What do you want to ask me or talk about?” Remus changed the topic quickly and Harry knew better than to pressure for an answer, so taking a deep breath he began to explain to Remus what was going on.

“When he and I do it, I don’t get hard.” Harry trailed off hoping Remus would fill in the blanks for himself.

“Do you want to get hard when you and Snape have sex?” Remus inquired just as softly watching carefully Harry’s facial expressions as they talked.

“Um, I don’t know.” Harry shrugged his shoulders in confusion causing Remus to frown a little but as Harry continued the werewolf began to make sense of a few things. “I know I’m not gay and don’t like men, and those first few times we did it I really didn’t want it to happen but now when we do it I feel like I want something from it. But not from men in general just from him, does that make any sense?” Harry sighed heavily hoping he didn’t sound like a complete and utter loser. Remus nodded silently and reached out a hand to place it on Harry’s shoulder.

“It’s the bond Harry. You’re forming feelings for Severus both emotional and physical as the bond strengthens and draws you together.” Harry stared at Remus still confused but the werewolf continued quickly trying to alleviate some of Harry’s stress. “This has nothing to do with if you’re gay or not, it’s to do with how you feel about Severus in particular not men in general. You’re growing attached to your mate, and it’s only natural that you want to experience the pleasure of being with him. Just because you want to enjoy sex with Snape doesn’t mean you’d want it with any man.” Harry smiled mildly beginning to see what Remus was explaining.

“So it’s okay to want to have proper sex with him.” Remus chuckled at Harry’s question and rolled his eyes.

“Proper sex? Harry does he get it in or not?” Harry blushed and nodded quietly in reply causing Remus to chuckle a little harder. “Honestly you’d think we were talking about flying to the moon or something. Sex is sex Harry, if you want to enjoy fucking then you should enjoy it. So it’s Snape? Who cares what everyone else thinks or the circumstances that brought it about, he’s your partner in bonded matrimony until death you can’t go through your entire life limp and if you ignore the pull of the bond it’ll only get worse until you don’t know what to do with yourself.” Harry sighed a little more pleased that he’d heard Remus’ easy identification of his problem; the solution however was probably going to be far worse to solve.

“Well that’s all great, we’ve established I do want to fuck and I do want to enjoy it but just getting Snape to do anything other than his usual is going to be difficult. I don’t even know if he wants to do it with me like that, I mean he hasn’t even kissed me since the ring ceremony.” Harry sighed all the while continually turning the wedding band around his finger like he usually did when he was stressed.

“That’s hardly surprising considering the fuss you made at the contract negations about not wanting ‘sex’ with him.” Harry sighed guiltily and lowered his gaze to stare at the wooden stairs he sat on.

“I was frightened Remus.” At Harry’s whisper Remus reached forward and wrapped his arms around Harry’s body pulling the boy in for an awkward hug.

“I know Harry, honestly we were all frightened for you but it seems to be working out better than we’d expected.” Harry nodded, quietly reflecting on just how easily he’d fallen into a routine with Snape, and just how much he enjoyed his company even if he’d never admit it to anyone.

“So come on wolf tell me how to make things better.” Harry inquired contently wrapped in Remus’ protective arms.

“Start with a kiss Harry. Snape’s obviously respecting your wishes not to want a physical relationship with him, so he’s restricting himself. So get him to kiss you properly or you kiss him. It’s intimate enough to suggest you’re looking for more but its also not pushy if it does turn out this isn’t what he wants. Does that make sense?” Harry nodded and leant up to press a chaste kiss to Remus’ cheek smiling warmly as the elder man blushed.

“Thanks Remus, I don’t think I could have done this without you.” Remus nodded in understanding as he allowed the boy to stand up from the steps and stretch. “Okay I’m going to go to bed, picnic tomorrow and I get to see Ron.” With a final hug Harry disappeared inside and up to bed, leaving Remus rocking back and forth steadily on his chair. Sirius was not going to be happy about this new turn of events in Snape and Harry’s relationship, not happy at all.

TBC>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>