Angelica's Sorrow

A/N


Deb - as wonderful as ever. You bring delight to my heart.

Snapeaholic - I like him a lot, myself. You can\'t have him, I had him first.

appy lady - I know, I know.

Lindsay - I\'ll send you the papers next week!


CHAPTER NINETEEN


\"Ginny, how could I have been so bloody stupid? I should have asked for a few days to think it over before I signed.\"

After successfully getting past Molly with a brief explanation of the apprenticeship offer, she had managed to get Ginny up to her room. Hermione had thrown herself on the bed, her head currently buried in a pillow, bemoaning her future.

\"I can\'t hear you very well, you silly goose. All I\'m getting is a word here and there.\"

Ginny sat down on the end of the bed. \"Sit up or I\'ll leave.\"

\"You\'re mean. My life is falling apart and you\'re being mean,\" she said as she sat up.

\"I like that. I\'d think you\'d be ecstatic.\"

\"Why, so I can see first hand how they\'ll make goo-goo eyes at each other?\"

\"You mean Professor Snape and Narcissa? Sorry, goo-goo eyes doesn\'t fit. Not possible, never in a million years. Maybe her, not him.\" She shuddered slightly. \"We don\'t know for sure they\'re on again, you know.\"

\"Well, your mum did say they were all wrapped up in each other.\"

\"That was at least twenty years ago. Besides, you know as well as I do how Mum tends to go on about stuff. She likes to make things sound more romantic, or more tragic than they really are. Right now might just be a friend offering sympathy to another. Her husband is dead and Draco wasn\'t far behind.\"

\"I thought I was supposed to be the sensible one.\"

\"You helped me enough times getting over Harry, it must have rubbed off. Mum\'s not here, now tell me everything.\"

\"What makes you think there\'s anything more to tell?\"

\"Well, I shouldn\'t rat, but Mum was watching out the window the whole time. She saw him holding your hand.\"

Hermione laughingly got, \"He was right!\" out of her mouth before falling on her side giggling.

\"Right about what?\"

\"When he was leaving, he said your mum was probably reaching the peak of her curiosity.\"

She gave up trying to sit and supported her head with her hand, elbow bent.

\"Was he mad?\" Ginny copied the position, facing her.

\"No, he seemed amused.\"

\"Professor Snape? You\'re not serious?\"

\"That\'s just it, Ginny. He didn\'t act like Professor Snape. For starters he asked me to call him Severus, said he wasn\'t my professor anymore.\"

\"I can see that, especially if you\'re going to be his apprentice.\"

\"Well, he actually smiled at me, several times. Not snarls but real smiles. Oh, and he kissed my hand.\"

\"Kissed your hand! Mum didn\'t say anything about that. It\'s a wonder you got past her as easily as you did.\"

\"I don\'t think she would have been able to see. It was right before he left, by the door.\"

A dreamy look, which Severus had called dazed, appeared on her face.

\"I waved my hand in good bye, he told me that wasn\'t the proper way and then showed me.\"

The dreamy look was quickly replaced by a questioning one.

\"Ginny, when Draco kisses you, how do you feel?\"

\"Getting a mite personal there, aren\'t you?\"

\"Don\'t be silly. I don\'t want all the details. I - when he kissed my hand I felt - well, sort of tingly and I\'ve never felt that before when someone\'s kissed me. Of course, no one\'s ever kissed my hand before, so maybe that\'s why.\"

\"You\'re over analyzing again.\" Ginny got a wicked little smirk. \"Wait until he kisses something else.\"

\"Ginny! Wha - tell me more.\"



Severus went to the pensieve room immediately after lunch. As he stepped through the floor, he gauged her reaction to his solitary presence. Still a little angry, was she? Maybe this would help.

\"Angelica? I know you can hear me and I\'m not trying to get you to speak. I only want to keep you informed. Plus the advantage is on my side right now, since you won\'t talk back and insult me.\"

He was lucky she wasn\'t speaking to him right now. Talk back indeed. If he hadn\'t been such a stupid, thick headed dolt, they might be enjoying a very nice conversation. The books he brought last time were still on the desk. Her longing to know what they contained was almost enough to override her vow not to speak, but he wasn\'t going to get off that easy.

She was good. Only a slight rise in the anger, but there was a touch of - the books. She was very interested in the books. He had forgotten them. Well, it wouldn\'t hurt to leave them, give her a little time to stew over what she was missing by pouting.

\"There\'s been some progress made since the last time I was here.\" He took his usual position in the chair. \"Miss - Hermione is going to be joining us here at Hogwarts, as my apprentice.\"

So, her name was Hermione. He hadn\'t mentioned it before. She had to stifle the urge to ask questions. If she gave in now, he would hold it over her head - so to speak - forever. Wouldn\'t do to give this man that much leverage. He was too darned clever as it was. Well, except for the blunder with this Narcissa woman.

\"In case you\'re wondering, she didn\'t seem reluctant at the prospect of working closely with me. I had worried about that a great deal. At first, I was afraid some of her stranger reactions were a result of damage from the spell, or that Potter hadn\'t performed the counter correctly. But in the end I think they were because of me, at least the one when I kissed her hand.\"

Yes, that had been encouraging, or was it just a reaction to the courtly gestures? If she\'d never been exposed to them before, she probably wasn\'t aware of how arousing they could be if performed correctly.

Damn, he wished Angelica would speak so he could talk it over with her. She came from an elegant era, she would know exactly what he was talking about.

\"Angelica, I\'ve changed my mind. I would like to be able to talk this over with you. I - please, speak with me. I need your help if I am to have a chance with her.\"

\"You will keep your promise to bring her to me? Even if you fail?\" Never could resist a proud man on bended knee.

\"Yes. I will not try and renege again.\"

\"What kind of reactions? Did she swoon?\"

Well, then again maybe she wouldn\'t know what he was talking about.

He chuckled, \"No, only a sort of - what I would call dazed expression. It occurred several times during our conversation. She seemed to lose concentration for a few moments. As if part of the spell was still pulling her mind away.\"

\"This occurred when you kissed her hand?\"

\"Yes, that was one of the times. Why?\"

\"What were the other times?\"

\"I don\'t recall exactly, allow me to think for a moment. I have no idea. Once we were merely talking about someone\'s curiosity and the last when I kissed her hand.\"

\"Did you smile at any time?\"

\"Yes, several times.\"

\"What kind of smiles? Your snarly ones or your nice ones?\"

\"Nice. I never snarl while being a gentleman, unless there\'s a good reason.\"

\"Really.\"

There was a bit of a sarcastic tone in the one word. Eyebrow rose slightly. Friendship, of sorts, reestablished.

\"What about the conversation concerning the curious person? How did it go?\"

He frowned, thinking. \"I was taking my leave, advised her that I had my limits and that Molly\'s - the person in question - curiosity had probably reached its peak.\"

\"That\'s all?\"

\"She responded by saying something about Molly liking to know what was going on and I said that was an understatement. That\'s when she lost concentration again.\"

\"Your words right before the look, can you recall exactly what you said?\"

\"I said, \'That could qualify as the understatement of the year, my dear.\' \"

Laughter swelled in his head. It was a light, wonderfully airy sensation.

\"I\'m glad you\'re amused, but it\'s not helping.\"

\"I think you\'re doing just fine without my assistance.\" Her voice was almost musical when it included laughter.

\"I wish you would quit talking in riddles. It reminds me too much of Albus.\"

\"No, no. If I see you making a mistake, I will intervene. If you tell me in time that is, and don\'t pull another Narcissa. You\'re clever enough to figure Hermione out on your own if you try.\"

\"It\'s not a game, Angelica. I love her too much to take a chance.\"

\"I did say you were doing fine, what are you worried about? Continue in the same manner and she will be yours.\"

\"That doesn\'t help a whole hell of a lot. How am I supposed to know what to continue doing, if I don\'t know what I\'m doing in the first place?\"

Laughter again! Fat lot of help she was.



Severus stood outside the gates of Malfoy Manor a week later, nervous again, but for an entirely different reason. He might lose a long time friend tonight and he dreaded the prospect. He had been invited for dinner and sincerely hoped it wasn\'t because Narcissa had decided to accept his proposal. If she did accept, he didn\'t know what he would do.
Angelica made a few suggestions, but unless he wanted to cut the ties completely they were of no use. Should have remembered the stomach calming potion, at this rate he wasn\'t going to be eating much dinner.

The gates swung open and he started up the path. At the door a house elf was waiting to show him inside. Instead of heading toward the main parlor, he led Severus to a smaller, more intimate room. It seemed to be a small library, not the one Lucius used, more feminine. Narcissa was there waiting, seated in one of the plush chairs, wine glass in hand. She rose at his entrance, smiling.

\"I\'m so glad you could come. Would you care for a drink before dinner?\"

\"Whatever you\'re having would be fine.\"

He decided to hold the glass in his hand to be polite. His stomach would not, under any circumstances, be able to handle alcohol.

Narcissa crossed the room and poured him a glass of wine, turning to hand it to him.

\"Please, sit down. I - have something I want to discuss with you tonight and we may as well start now.\"

He waited until she was seated before taking a chair opposite her. It reminded him of the night in his chambers that started this whole mess. He fervently wished for access to a time turner, go back and spell his damn mouth shut.

Should he speak first?

\'Sorry, Narcissa. Changed my mind. Can\'t marry you. I\'m in love with another. Please don\'t hate me forever.\' That wouldn\'t go over well, no matter what the words were.

\"I was going to wait until after dinner, but my nerves won\'t take the strain.\" She was looking at her hands as she spoke.

\'Merlin\'s robe, here it comes. Maybe a small sip of wine. Didn\'t help. In Hagrid\'s words, \'Shouldn\'t \'a done that!.\'

\"I hope you won\'t misunderstand, but I\'m going to decline your offer.\"

His eyebrow rose, \'Aren\'t I good enough?\' If he hadn\'t been so relieved, he would have been quite offended. The ridiculousness of his initial reaction made him laugh. She looked slightly offset by that, better explain.

\"I laugh because I was afraid you were going to accept, then when you declined I was feeling relief and a bit of offended dignity at the same time. I couldn\'t help but laugh at myself, sorry.\"

She smiled, it was going to be all right.

\"I\'m so glad you feel the same. These last few weeks I\'ve really tried, but it\'s just not there anymore. I still love you, but not enough to marry you. In fact I don\'t know that I\'ll marry again. With the threat of Lucius totally gone, I\'m finally free. I went from my parents\' house to his and I\'ve never felt this way before. I have charge of my own life and I don\'t know that I want to give that up, at least not right away. Perhaps in the future if I meet the right person, I might change my mind.\"

\"I\'m just glad I still have a dear friend in my life. I still can\'t believe I was that foolish.\"

\"I started it with my question in the garden. I was feeling nostalgic about the old days, I guess. Back then the worst problem in my life was sneaking out after curfew to meet you in the tower.\"

\"Don\'t tell Draco. I\'ve chased enough of his classmates out of the tower, and other places. I\'d never hear the end of it.\"

\"Did you ever catch Draco and Ginny Weasley?\"

\"He finally told you?\"

\'That was a stupid response, if she wasn\'t positive before, she is now. Relief is making me light headed.\'

\"Yes, but you didn\'t answer my question.\"

\'Good, haven\'t given anything away.\'

There was still the possibility he could get Draco to find out whom Hermione loved, before he made a complete and total fool of himself. Couldn\'t afford to alienate him. Sorry, Narcissa. If he answered that question, there would be others she asked where he couldn\'t say no.

\"Can\'t get anything by you, can I?\"

\"Probably, but you still haven\'t answered my question.\"

\"Do you really expect me to answer and possibly betray my godson?\"

\"I expect a truthful answer from an old friend.\"

\"You are in fine form tonight, Narcissa. I don\'t know how you do it.\"

\"Severus, answer me!\" She loved these little games they played.


Ginny had been avoiding her all morning. Something was up and she was going to find out what it was. Draco had taken her out to dinner last night and she hadn\'t been the same since. If he had hurt her in any way, she\'d hex him into next year. The problem lay in getting her alone without her mum around. There she was, in the flower garden.

Hermione slipped out the door and snuck up on her friend as quietly as she could. She could see Ginny, kneeling, cutting flowers for the table. No easy exit this time.

\"Ginny, could I have a word?\"

She jumped slightly at the sound of her voice. Good, caught her off guard.

\"Oh, hi. I can\'t talk long, Mum\'s wanting these fresh flowers.\"

\"I know you\'ve been avoiding me and I want to know why. Did Draco hurt you somehow?\"

\"What, don\'t be silly, he\'s wonderful.\"

\"Then what is it that\'s making you run away every time you see me?\"

\"To be honest, I really don\'t want to tell you.\"

Ginny\'s normally happy face was a study of tragedy. Panic gripped Hermione\'s heart.

\"What, has something happened to my parents?\"

\"No, nothing like that.\"

\"If it\'s nothing like that then just tell me. I think you scared me half to death already with that long face.\"

\"Gods, Hermione. Please don\'t hate me.\"

\"Why would I hate you?\"

\"Because I -\" tears were streaming down her face.

\'Merlin\'s robe, she has to be pregnant. Her mum will kill her. Then Draco.\'

She sat down beside her friend ready to comfort her.

\"Ginny, it won\'t be that bad. It\'ll work out. Your mum will come around, honest.\"

A thoroughly puzzled look appeared on Ginny\'s face. \"Why would Mum be upset because Prof - I mean -.\"

\"Professor Snape? This has something to do with him?\"

Ginny was only able to nod.

\"Is he hurt?\"

Negative.

\"Ginny, will you tell me, please? I\'m running out of questions.\"

\"I don\'t want you to hate me.\"

\"I promise I won\'t hate you.\"

\"Draco took me out to dinner last night because his mother wanted to have dinner with him.\"

\"What\'s so bad about two friends having dinner together? Harry and I used to do it all the time.\"

\"But - I encouraged you to think about him and Draco said they were having dinner in the small dining room, the whole works, tall candles, crystal, very intimate setting. Then we stopped by after our dinner and they were in her study. Talking, laughing and looking very cosy, drinking wine. I\'m sorry.\"

\"That still doesn\'t mean anything, Ginny.\"

\"Draco said he overheard a few words of their conversation before he came to pick me up and he didn\'t hear much, but - he got the impression they were going to get married. Oh, Hermione. I\'m so sorry!\"

\"It\'s not your fault, Ginny. It just gives me the chance to say I told you so. I knew he would never look at a girl like me. I\'ll be back shortly, I need a walk.\"

She got to her feet, walked to the gate and wondered how long it would hurt.