On the Side of the Angels

Chapter One: The Herbology Trip

Severus stared at the group of Slytherin’s in front of him who seemed to think him trying to put up his tent without the use of his wand simply hilarious. They tried staring back but his dark glare seemed to put them off and they went back to picking on one of the Gryffindor’s who had been stupid enough to venture out on her own. Severus went back to glaring at the tent. Not that it was going to do any bloody good.

The Herbology trip was strictly non-magic and all wands had been confiscated at the beginning of the trip. All enchanted objects were forbidden. Anything bewitched to find herbs or shrub plants found on the person of one of the students once leaving the castle would result in said pupil being sent home and never seeing the light of day again, or at least that’s what Professor Goodkind said. Not that he cared. He was going to win this for the Slytherin’s, magic or no magic. If there was one thing Gryffindor had in common with Slytherin it was competitive spirit and Slytherin’s were traditionally bad losers. He was no exception to the rule.

The only problem with this was the fact that, since he had no one sharing a tent with him, he was the only one left to put it up and even through it was a normal Muggle tent (all magic was banned) it was still impossible to manage both ends at once. Trying, and failing, to find some way to prop up a tent pole while he stamped the other into the ground. It collapsed in on him and he let out a string of very creative swear words. Dammit! Surely Professor Goodkind could spare a second to give him a hand?

He looked around to see the Professor laughing with a group of Gryffindor’s. Bitch that she was. Fine, he’d have a snack and try again in a minute or two. Sitting, cross-legged, on the grass he watched while the four Gryffindor’s he hated the most grouped together to pitch their tents. Well, while Potter and Pettigrew put up r ter tent. Black and Lupin already had theirs pitched and were sitting on the grass with their arms wrapped about each other.

Black and Lupin had gotten together ad thd the time of their encounter with Snape. They had been the talk of the school for two weeks and they were still getting the occasional glance from their fellow students. They were now the resident ‘cute couple’ in the school. It made Snape sick. Black pawed Lupin every chance he got, he hung over him and glared atone one who came near him. Despite the fact that he hated Lupin, he could see a flicker of something in his eyes, something behind his smiles. It made him think that Lupin was somehow not as happy as the romantics in the school would paint him to be. That cheered him a little.

After the day of the potions paper incident at the greenhouses Lupin averted his eyes every time Snape glared like he was amazingly unsettled by the though Snape new he was embarrassed for his friends. In a way Snape was glad that Lupin felt upset by his friends behaviour. This way Severus had one up on him. He could conceivably run a guilt trip on Lupin anytime he wanted.

Professor Goodkind strolled over to the happy couple and broke them up, sending Black, Pettigrew and Potter with two Slytherin’s to look for firewood and leaving Lupin finishing a chicken sandwich on the grass. Snape felt his eyes and ignored him, finishing the piece of carrot cake he had in his hand and wiping his sticky fingers in his robes. Time to tackle the tent again.

He’d lifted one of the tent poles and was trying to think of a new approach when a voice drifted over his shoulder. It was a y ony on sand voice that made him still straight away, “Do you want some help?” Snape looked around to make sure no one was watching them but all of the Slytherin’s seemed engrossed in one of Malfoy’s hilarious monologues so they ignored the strange scene.

“Go away, Lupin,” he hissed, not getting up from his knees.

“Are you sure?” the voice was gentld nod not mocking like his friends, “I wouldn’t want to think you had to sleep outside.” Somehow Snape could tell he meant it. Lupin crawled over the ground and picked up a couple of pegs, roughly positioning them in places.

“What makes you so much of a damned expert?” Snape snapped. He wasn’t about to be shown up by a Gryffindor. Certainly not by Remus Lupin.

“My father and me used to go camping … w-we did until r-recently,” he started to stammer like an idiot and Snape decided to ignore him. Fine. The tent would go up then he would piss off. He rolled his eyes, why in the hell was he doing this again? “How’s your, um - -” Lupin vaguely waved a hand around the region of Snape’s bottom half.

“Fine.” Snape ground from between clenched teeth. Actually it wasn’t fine. Black had left a huge bruise where his leg and groin connected. It hurt like a bitch every time he sat on a chair and he’d tried touching himself the night before the trip to make sure all potential embarrassing moments were avoided but he couldn’t find an angle with his handat mat missed the bruise and in the end he’d just had to concentrate and will himself to stop thinking about it.

“I’m glad. I thought that maybe Sirius had really hurt you. You know, from the way you were walking?” he cursed himself for not managing to scrape up enough dignity to walk away from Lupin without limping. The Gryffindor handed him a pole and, when he seemed lost in thought, wiggled it in front of his nose. Coming back from that night and snatching it away from Lupin he went around the back of the tent to put it up, unconsciously checking Malfoy’s gang still weren’t watching.

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think you cheated. If I hadn’t have had to spend so much time working on my Potions essay I would have probably went for extra help too.” Snape glared at him.

“I didn’t need extra help. I was making sure my notes were correct,” he brought the hammer down on the peg with unnecessary force, “And if you didn’t believe them then why be a stupid fool and follow along?” that had it’s desired effect. Lupin coloured and then began babbling like an idiot again.

“Sorry. I j-just - -”

“Didn’t want to loose your little boyfriend by pointing out to him how much of an arrogant, conceited dunderhead he was and instead chose to watch his manly show of strength against someone who, at that ticoulcould do nothing against him?” he waited for a second while Lupin digested that little speech and then took pride in the way he went a scarlet colour and put his head down, shying away from any further attempts at conversation.

Once the tent had been put up, Lupin looked around for his friends but they were no where to be found. Thus, he seemed to find it helpful to go on annoying Snape by helping him put what little he had brought in his tent. There was no limit to what you could take, only that you had to be prepared to carry it there and back. Snape snatched his small Potions kit from Lupin before the buffoon broke something. There were some interesting herbs he wanted to find for himself while he was here and there were no rules about that.

“So …” there he went again. Was the boy incapable of stilling his tongue? “How did you go with the essay?” those who handed the Potions assignment in early had been given an estimate to how well that would have done. Snape, of course, was going to be top of the class, again.

“As well as expected,” he smirked, “You?” Lupin was abysmal in Potions. Never there to carry out the practical side he never got the marks he was capable of.

“Um,” he seemed to be ashamed of himself, “Well the essay was okay but I’ll probably do really badly on the practical side.” Yes, that was true. He would probably do terribly. “What did you get for question seven? I wasn’t sure whether I should have given him Steeling Potion or not, because of the side effects. It seemed like a trick question.”

Snape resigned himself to the fact that Lupin was not going to leave until his friends returned. Hopefully by the time they got back Lupin’s conscience would be healed and he would leave Snape alone for the remainder of the trip. “It was a trick question,” he said, gingerly lowering himself down beside him. Lupin seemed to be pleased with himself, “The Steeling Potion was the only option.”

Then Lupin’s face fell, “Isn’t that Potion really complicated to make?”

Snape kept his smirk to himself this time, “The Steeling Potion has over thirty ingredients and it needs to be ed oed over a two week period. Each ingredient must be added at the proper time. If you are planning to attend the exam,” Lupin gave a little sigh, “Then you should begin the potion as soon as you set up your cauldron.”

“Thanks. For the advice I mean,” then heled led out a Chocolate Frog and broke it in half, handing half out to Snape. He’d just eaten but even if he hadn’t he would still have refused the offer. That was like drawing a truce with him and there was no way Snape was going tt hit him off that easily.

“What did you pick for nine?” Sev ask asked. If Lupin was going to stay he might as well keep the conversation as interesting as he could.

“I thought that one was a little stupid, actually,” Lupin laughed, “I mean, there’s only so much Gillyweed you can take in the first place because it upsets your stomach but I used the Restoring Potion, I thought that if he could get out of the water and last long enough to take the Potion, that would be the best option.” Snape considered that for a second.

“I chose a Reverting Potion,” at the distressed look on Lupin’s face he shrugged, “Though either would work. He would have had to get out of the water either way. Anyone stupid enough to ingest that amount of Gillyweed in the first place deserves whatever they get,” Lupin laughed. His laugh was something Snape hadn’t heard up close before. The honey on sand voice that Snape secretly quite liked lost only the sand when he laughed. It was a sweet rolling sound.

“That’s what I thought,” Lupin said re-offering the Frog before snarfing the lot in one go, “And ten?”

Snape had had to think about ten for a while. He’d known from the second he’d read the paper that it would take two potions in quick succession to solve the problem. “Initially I had ght ght to use a Firming Potion followed by the antidote, however, the poison would have been far too advanced for that so I chose to work both into the same potion. After that I made an improvised potion of my own to counter any lasting effects.”

Lupin looked beyond impressed, “You made your own potion?”

“Yes,” Snape said rather matter-of-factly, “Why?”

Lupin shook his head and held his hands up, “I just, well I have trouble with basic potions that have existed for centuries and your making your own. That’s … wow. Well done.” Snape sniffed. He didn’t need Lupin’s well done. “Would … would you maybe help m - -”

“Hey, Moony! What are you doing with that greasy git? Get over here!” Black.

Snape scowled at Lupin as he flashed him an apologetic smile, “Well, I’ll see you soon then,” he restrained himself from giving Lupin a rude gesture as he walked off then he crawled into his tent and pulled out his notes on resins. After he’d read the first paragraph twice over and realised that the words had stubbornly stayed on the page and not absorbed into his head he threw them back down in disgust.

For some reason he felt disappointed and even more sullen than before he’d begun putting the tent up. See what happened when he talked to Gryffindor’s?

* * *

“You look happier than last time we talked.” James sat down, cross-legged next to the fire and Remus, who was avidly watching the Slytherin’s have some kind of hand wrestling contest, grinned at him.

“I need to thank you,” James gave him a puzzled look, “For speaking to Siriboutbout us. If you hadn’t have told him how I felt he wouldn’t have …” he broke of, blushing as the memory of their first night together kicked in. Since then they’d done nothing worse than a few heavy kisses, tongues duelling and then it was when they were alone. They had gone public the very next morning and they were blissfully happy, despite the fact Sirius tended to try and cop feels when he was answering questions in class. He sighed, it was the happiest sigh he’d had in ages.

“No problem, mate,” James wrapped an arm around his shoulders, “I hated seeing you so unhappy. You’re the best of us Moony and you bring out the best in Padfoot. I just wanted you to be happy.” James smiled, kind, deep chocolate coloured eyes dancing in the light from the fire under an unruly mop of black hair. Then he took his arm b rem removed his glasses and buried his face in his hands.

Remus, immediately concerned, pushed long tendrils of tawny brown hair behind his ears and leant down so his face was level with James, “Prongs, what is it, what’s wrong?” when his friends face lifted at last it was twisted with a grief that made Remus heart skip a beat. He knew what it was. “Lily?”

James nodded miserably, “She hates me.”

Remus ruffled his hair, not that it showed, and shook his own head, “No she doesn’t. She just thinks you’re a bit …”

“Conceited. I knowriusrius told me, remember?” he held his hands up and looked at the sky, “Why me?” Remusbed bed his back. Poor James. He really did love Lily Evans. Poor Lily, when she eventually gave in to James she wasn’t going to get a second to herself.

“You just need to … show her how much you care about her. You also need to stop jinxing people in the corridors,” actually it was mainly Snape he should stop jinxing in the corridors, “And try to stop showing off so much. I know you d mea mean to do it. You and Sirius just seem to manage it without thinking. Lily doesn’t like itugh,ugh, she probably thinks you’ll be showing off to other women when your with her. Evans seems the possessive sort.”

James seemed to mull this over, “Am I conceited?” he looked a little desperate, his eyes looking a little shinier in the firelight. Remus, however, was always honest to his friends.

“A little.” James’ face fell, “But only some of the time.” That did nothing to change the look. He wrapped both arms around his knees and buried his face in them. Remus shuffled closer so that he could put his arms around him.

“Prongs, mate … just be nice to her. Try and be a gentleman.” James’ shoulders seemed to shake a little. James had never cried over Lily before. “Is there something else? Is something else bothering you?” The shaking got worse. So there was something else. He wondered … was it maybe him and Sirius?

“I-it’s n-nothing,” James’ voice was little more than a whisper.

“If your crying about it then it’s somethiComeCome on, you can still talk to me, can’t you?” James nodded into his arms then mumbled something. “What?”

“I s-said, ‘D-don’t be a p-prat,” he laughed a little and Remus took that to mean he’d brightened up a bit.

“Come on, please?” Remus pressed his forehead to James’ arms.

“I slept w-with someone I s-shouldn’t have,” that stunned Remus a little. James was no virgin, he knew that, but he wasn’t one to sleep around. He chose his partners carefully and Remus knew he could only have had one or two.

“Oh, James.” He didn’t want to sound too off with him, or disappointed so he simply asked, “Who was it?” that seemed to make it worse, however, because James collapsed against him in a gibbering heap. Remus wrapped his arms around him. Poor baby. He’d probably gotten caught up in the heat of the moment.

“I’m in so much d-deep s-shit,” Remus rocked him gently. It was very seldom James went to pieces, he was usually very together with little to worry about so it seemed important that Remus tread very carefully, “S-she was … s-she …” he p han hand to his back and Remus, puzzled, lifted his jumper a little. When he didn’t protest Remus lifted it all the way. Then he gasped.

James’ back was a myriad of long, deep scratches. Some were thick grooves, other were light cuts but they were obviously painful. Biting his lip, Remus wished he had his wand with him. A simple healing spell could lift most of the pain and make sure none of the cuts scarred. Even better would be going to Madam Pomfrey who, when it came to sixth and seventh years, would keep any probing questions to herself.

“Gods, James. Who did this?” he replaced James’ jumper before the cold began to sting the cuts and his friend buried his face in the crook of his shoulder.

“Bellatrix L-Lestrange,” he cried a little harder, “God’s, what have I done? What if s-she tells L-Lily?” Remus kissed his neck and held him tighter, wary of hurting the cuts. He was stunned into silence. Bellatrix Lestrange. Now that was something he hadn’t expected. She was vindictive, she was manipulative and she was Narcissa’s right hand woman. If she told Lily she would do it in graphic terms and she would make sure that everyone knew. That way Lily would be humiliated because everyone knew she liked James the way he liked her, she’d also be stunned and hurt. James would never have a chance with her.

He didn’t want to upset James but the need to know overruled his sense of empathy and he sat James up, wiping away tears and looking him in the eye, “Prongs, whatever possessed you?” James looked utterly miserable and defeated.

“She … well I think it might have been something to do with the fact she spiked my drink with something.” Gods, that could almost lasslassed as rape.

“Did she - - did she force you James?” he was very serious about this. Rape could destroy James and, ultely,ely, it could have Lestrange expelled.

“N-no,” James seemed to be thinking really hard, “No. I wanted it. I-I thought maybe that she … s-she didn’t seem like a bitch at the t-time.” His shoulders slumped lower, Remus breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn’t much better than rape but this way James knew that he was still in control and it wouldn’t break him quitemuchmuch. At least that was the theory.

“Were you trying to get back at Lily?” it was counterproductive but if he was it would make sense.

James looked ashamed, “Yeah, kind of I g-guess.” He’d stopped crying but he was sniffing hard and looking like he wanted to throw up. Remus took his hand.

“The best you can do is avoid her. If it looks like she’s about to say something then tell Lily first. It would be better coming from you.” He brushed a hand to James’ tear stained face, “Just try and relax, get some sleep.” James nodded and seemed a little calmer for having told someone about his predicament.

“Thanks, Moony.” He seemed to pull himself up a little, slipping his glasses back on, “Don’t tell Sirius. He’ll get pissed off and have a go at her, he’s certain to push her into saying something. I h-hate not telling him but, please?”

Remus smiled, “Of course.” With a few murmured ‘goodnights’ James crawled into his tent and Remus was left to watch for Sirius and Peter who came back about ten minutes later, laughing quietly. They’d gone for a pee over half an hour ago. What happened to them?

“We got lost,” Peter laughed, “We realised we were walking in circles.” Sirius seemed to find this hilarious. He had quickly gotten over his bad mood at Remus helping Snape with his tent, now he was giving Remus bedroom eyes.

“Come on, you,” he purred and slinked into the tent, deliberately making sure his arse wiggled as he made his way in. Remus shivered then caught Peter before he went to bed.

“Watch James tonight, okay? He’s a little fragile. He might need a hug.” Peter was far more intelligent and perceptive than people gave credcredit for. There was a lot more going on behind those pale green eyes than anyone ever thought. He was a good friend and terribly loyal.

Peter nodded and then smiled a big, winning smile, “Sure. You have fun,” then he crawled into his tent.

Remus looked around at the hundreds of tents around them. There were some sixth years from all four houses there, half of the year really. The next half would go next week. Sade waved at him from beside her own fire and he grinned back before getting onto his knees and crawling in.

He fully intended to have fun.