The Hogwarts' Men's Club

AN/Well the smut bunny is starting to rear its head once more. If I can just keep it from hopping away. Anyway enjoy. And thanks for reviewing (hint, hint, hint)

The Hogwarts Women’s Club


“Really Pomona, put that thing out before you choke to death,” Emma Vector said, wrinkling her noise at the foul smelling cigar Professor Sprout was trying to smoke.

Coughing, Pomona put out the cigar, waving her hand to clear the smoke. “How on earth do the men smoke these things?”

“It is something they tolerate. I think they are taught by their fathers along with scratching at the most improper times,” Saphina Sinistra chuckled, as the rest of the women raised their glasses of sherry in agreement.

“Oh I do miss Minerva,” moaned Poppy. “It just doesn’t seem the same without her.”

“You know that she had to stop coming to the meetings,” Rolanda Hooch reminded her. “It just wouldn’t seem right if the Headmistress carried on so” she winked, “but that doesn’t mean we cannot keep her informed.”

“True, true,” said Pomona. “It was her idea to put in the part about the Eros thing.” The women laughed

“I will not zeenk it iz so funny if we are zee ones that have to dress up as this cupid,” Fleur said testily.

“Nonsense,” Rolanda assured her. “We haven’t lost in decades.”

“But wasn’t zis becauze the men, how would I put thiz, were zad rejects and ogres. This year they have Lupin and Weasley.”

“Ao noo not forget Snape,” Saphina grinned.

“Let’s not forget him.” Poppy laughed. “I cannot believe after all these years they finally roped him into this.”

“Profezzor Snape is not a problem if you azk me\" Fleur said haughtily. “He iz too much like, what do the students zay, an overgrown bat.”

The women giggled. “True,” Rolanda agreed, “I really do not think Severus will appeal to any of the students, unless…”

“Unless what?” Fleur inquired

Saphina and Rolanda exchanged knowing looks. “Unless he does manage to get one into bed and she talks.”

Fleur raised her delicate eyebrows. “Explain.”

Rolanda smiled slyly. “Severus may not be much to look at, and I think he goes out of his way to achieve the overgrown bat façade, but he is the best thing between the sheets I ever had.”

“And that’s saying something,” Pomona said sarcastically. “Honestly Rolanda I do believe you are getting a reputation.” Rolanda just grinned.

“You haz to be joking,” Fleur snorted No, No, she isn’t,” Saphina said with a dreamy smile. “But maybe he has lost his touch. He hasn’t been with any woman that I know of in what, the last ten years.”

“You too?” Fleur looked shocked. Saphina Sinistra was a very beautiful woman almost to the point that Fleur felt a bit threatened by her, though Fleur thought her delicate blondeness would appeal more to the male population at Hogwarts than Sinistra’s darkness. And she was almost twenty years older than Fleur.

Saphina laughed. “Yes me too. Severus was a bit randy when he first came to Hogwarts. I do not know what happened, perhaps his bit spying for Albus got to him.”

“Still I find it hard to believe he actually is going to help the men,” said Poppy. “I have never known him to look twice at a student. He does have his standards.”

“I think you mean the students have their standards,” Pomona said. The women chuckled.

“Okay we have established that Severus will not be a threat,” agreed Emma, “but what about Remus, Charlie and Gilderoy?”

Rolanda leaned back in her chair, smiling smugly. “Charlie and Remus will be the ones to watch out for, though I do believe Charlie is a bit shy and that may be a plus for us. Gilderoy is so pompous any girl with a bit a sense will see through that.”

Emma snorted. “Well then we can conclude that he will score with half of Hufflepuff and Slytherin.”

“I resent that,” said Pomona huffily.

“Just teasing love,” Emma smirked.

“I cannot see Lupin being so aggressive either,” said Poppy. “He was always such a sweet, polite boy.”

Saphina and Rolonda exchanged knowing smiles once more. Poppy blushed. “Alright you two, I know you have told us what a ‘wolf’ he is.” Saphina and Rolonda burst out laughing.

Fleur shook her head as she looked at thmen.men. She did not see how any of the young males at Hogwarts would find themselves attracted to any of them except for Sinstra. Still to hear Rolanda talk she had had more conquests than a pure Veela Fleur knew.

“I say we will win no matter that the men has fresh blood,” Rolanda said assuredly, “Especially with our ‘fresh’ blood.” She raised her glass in Fleur’s direction, giving the young woman a wink.

Giving her a haughty look, Fleur tossed her long blonde hair over her shoulder. “Of course we zhall all have to try to zeduce as many of the young men az pozzible these next weeks. I cannot do it all alone.”

The women laughed. “We have no desire to let you do it ‘alone”, Saphina said sarcastically. “I for one relish in the game.”

“You know if one of the men happens to get ahead of us, say young Weasley,” Emma said with a mischievous look, “one of us could always try to put him out of commission.”

“I thought we were to be fair,” Fleur said.

“Oh but it is fair,” Poppy said with a big smile. “She means we could wear the man out so that he is out of the running for a couple of days.” The woman raised their glasses in agreement.

“You know they do have us at a disadvantage,” Pomona grumbled. “I mean a man doesn’t care if a girl has experience or not. It’s all the same to them, as long as they get their pleasure.”

“True,” Saphina sighed. “These young boys are often quick on the draw. Last year I remember when I was with Jordan. You know I still doubt to this day we did anything. It was over so fast I was sure I had failed until I saw that his name held true in the book.”

“Well you will not have any problems with my ‘boys’” Rolanda said slyly.

Fleur looked at her questioningly.

“The Quidditch players,” Poppy explained. “Rolanda gives extra training during Quidditch season.”

Rolanda gave Fleur a wink.

“So girls,” Emma said getting to her feet. “Are we ready to let the good times roll?”

“I am always ready for a roll,” Rolanda chuckled, causing Fleur to choke on her sherry.

“Yes,” Saphina agreed. “I for one cannot wait to get my breakfasts in bed when this is all over with.”

“I for one would rather see the men parading around in the Great Hall Valentine’s day,” Pomona laughed. “Especially Gilderoy the pompous fool.”

“Don’t forget I have an extra of batch Contraceptous Potions at hand,” Poppy reminded them.

“We will meet next Friday with our names to add to the book,” Rolanda grinned. “Men beware.”

“Boys you mean,” Emma sniggered. “Maybe we will be lucky and find one among the sixty or so that will be able to last more than five minutes.”

“Five minutes?” Saphina said shocked. “You mean you actually found one that lasted that long?”

The women left the room laughing.

TBC