Memoirs of a Potions Master and his Know-It-All

Chapter 2

The Last Supper (Before the Students Arrive)

Every year the staff of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry got together for a party to celebrate the beginning of a new school year. Severus on the other hand, went to the party to mourn the loss of his quiet summer. The party was usually held a week before classes resumed. A few people asked why they didn't have it the night before the students came on the Hogwart's Express, but Dumbledore said that too many of his staff would be unable to fulfill their duties with a hangover. Yes, Albus really did know everything.

Although the house-elves made food for the party, Hermione never got over her Muggle manners and insisted on bringing a dish as well. Mrs. Weasley had taught Hermione many magical spells for cooking, but Hermione simply loved cooking the Muggle way. She could be found shaking, and bopping to an upbeat tune while stirring bowls of ingredients just waiting to be turned into delicious food. Severus loved watching his wife cook. He hated the music, but he just tuned it out as he sat mesmerized by her body. He'd sit at the table and watch her shake her bum to the latest pop song, her breasts spilling out of her bra, jiggled tantalizingly at Severus. Sometimes, Hermione felt that he thought her eyes were really her nipples, since that was where he looked most often. This, of course, led to many kitchen sex adventures usually involving whatever food Hermione was preparing. Severus decided that he loved chocolate drizzled on his wife. Her body also made a wonderful serving dish for spaghetti. Who knew? Tonight, Hermione was making sausage stars. First, she pushed square wonton wrappers into a cupcake pan, and lightly brushed them with oil before baking them at 350 degrees for 5 minutes. While the 'stars' were cooking, she browned 1 lb. of crumbled Italian sausage, and after blotting the grease, she combined it with 1 1/2 cups each of Cheddar and Monterey Jack cheeses; to this she stirred in 1 cup of Ranch dressing. Dancing around, she filled each 'star', and baked for 5 more minutes. This was her favorite appetizer recipe ever, and she got it off of the Hidden Valley website. She used her parents' computer whenever she went to visit them at their house in Muggle London. Unfortunately, with all the magic at Hogwarts computers would not work. What many Muggles didn't realize was that sometimes when their computers were 'fried', it was simply because they were too close to magical households. One of the larger computer companies was working on this problem, since the CEO was a wizard, but nothing had been worked out yet.

"Severus, are you going to shower before the party?" Hermione asked him, as she put the appetizers onto a platter.

"Why, do I stink?" he answered back, while sniffing under his arms dramatically.

"No, silly man, I just wanted to know if you needed the shower before I got in there," Hermione said.

"Hmmm, well now that you mention it, I might be a bit, ah... sticky, after watching you in the kitchen," he said, coming up behind her and putting his arms around her waist. "Do I feel.... dirty to you, Hermione," he breathed into her ear.

"Oh yes, Severus, you are VERY dirty," Hermione whispered back.

"Well, Witch, let's get clean," he said, grinning at her as he scooped her up and walked into the bathroom. Clothes were thrown into the wicker hamper in the corner to await Hootie, their personal house elf that Hogwarts supplied. Hootie, was like family to both Hermione and Severus. Hootie, had actually been assigned to the Slytherin rooms when Severus was a student, and requested to serve the Potions Master once he began working as a professor.

They hadn't even made it to the shower before Severus dragged Hermione down onto the bath rug. "Severus, this is just not normal," Hermione moaned, as he attached his mouth to her neck. "I can't seem to do anything without it turning you on."

"Wrong, Hermione, I am already turned on all the time, I just don't shut off," Severus replied, kissing his way up to her jaw line. He had always loved sex, what man didn't, but sex with Hermione was earth shattering and mind blowing.

"Are other men as randy as you are, Sev?" his wife asked completely serious. Hermione had come to Severus a virgin, and had only dated Ron and one other man during college.

"I don't know, Hermione, I never act randy around other men." He groaned as he felt one of her hands encircle his erection and begin to pump it up and down slowly. "Oh, Gods Hermione, I just can't get enough of you. You're like a drug, or catnip. Gods, I could roll all over you like a cat."

"Meow," she murmured.

"Here, pussy pussy," Severus said.

Hermione began giggling, and Severus stopped kissing her as he narrowed his eyes at her. "What am I doing that is so amusing, wife?" he asked.

"Oh Sev, it's not you. I just got a mental picture of us in our hundreds and still shagging on the floor."

Mmmmmm, Severus moaned appreciatively. "Sounds like a great mental image, my sweet."

"Not the one I'm picturing, Sev," she snorted. "I imagined myself all gray haired with boobs down to my belly button, and my thong completely lost in my fat bum."

"Don't worry, Hermione, I'll be sure to help you find it," he said, moving down between her legs. He bent her knees and pushed her legs back so that she was spread open for him. He just looked in between her legs for a while before finally lowering his head and flicking her clit with his tongue. He alternated between her clit and licking her labia, which drove her mad with desire. She was panting and the sound of her breathy moans went straight to his cock. After a few amazing minutes, her legs began to shake and her toes curled tightly as she screamed out his name.

"It's your turn now, Witch," he said, as he turned on the shower taps. She scowled up at her husband knowing that he took her on the rug first so that he didn't have to be on his knees on the hard tile in the shower. "Don't scowl at the scowl master, my dear," he said. "Just plan ahead next time." Pulling her to her feet the two entered the shower. By the time they were clean, Hermione's knees were indeed, very red.

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The party was in full swing when they arrived, late as usual. The staff took in the wet hair on both and knew that they had showered together.
"Oh, Hermione, you brought sausage stars!" Minerva exclaimed. Minerva fell in love with sausage stars the first time that Hermione made them. She always positioned herself by the door, watching to see what Hermione brought with her, and hoping it was sausage stars.

"Yes, Minerva, and there are about 4-dozen this time, so they won't run out too quickly," Hermione told the older witch. Minerva wasn't taking any chances as she raced over to the food table, snatched a plate and filled it up with all the sausage stars it could possibly hold before heading off to tell the others that Hermione's famous sausage stars had arrived. Better to secure her own 'stars' before letting the others in on the goods.

Ron Weasley was visiting Harry and Ginny for a week, and had been invited to the party as well. Severus had just gone to get two glasses of elf made wine for he and Hermione when Ron had made his way over to her. "Hello, Professor," Ron said holding out a hand to Snape.

"Hello, Weasley," Severus said, glaring at the younger redhead man, as he shook his hand. If given the chance Ron would be on his wife faster than the giant squid on a chocolate ho-ho. Severus knew that Hermione wasn't interested in her ex-boyfriend in that way, but Severus didn't like the redheaded man one bit. Severus also loved rubbing it in Ron's face, and touched Hermione often when Ron was around. "Here's your drink, honey," he said, to his wife as he put his arm around her possessively and tugged her close to his side caressing her arms.

"Thank you, Sev, you are so sweet," Hermione said, and went to peck his cheek, but Severus turned his head and kissed her on the lips making sure Weasley got a glimpse of his tongue darting into his wife's sweet mouth. Weasley's ears had gone pink, and Snape knew that it bugged the hell out of him to see Hermione with him, the greasy git. Severus just smirked. He was a lucky man indeed.

Hagrid, Vector, Sinistra, Flitwick and Potter were playing a drinking game with shots of Fire Whiskey. Didn't those fools ever learn? Nobody could come close to staying sober when Hagrid played. His weight alone guaranteed that he'd be the last one drunk. And, drunk he would be at the end of the night, but the others would already be on the floor. Flitwick was usually the first to go down; it was like giving a toddler alcohol. For some reason Sinistra was shoeless, and had one of her nylons off, while Hagrid, meanwhile eyed her appreciatively. Severus did not even want to think about what that meant....EWW.

An hour later, Harry saw Hermione sitting on the couch moving her head from left to right repeatedly. She looked like a spectator at an Indy 500 race. He decided to investigate further, and upon approaching her realized that her eyes were crossed too. "Hey, Her-mi-o-ne," Harry said in a singsong voice. "What ya doin."

"Oh, hey Har, Hair, Harry," she slurred up at him. "Do you know who that man is," she asked, pointing towards Dumbledore and Flitwick, who were sitting across from her on the couch and looking at her comical head shaking.

"What man, Hermione?" Harry laughed. "Are you talking about Albus or Filius?"

"No, not them, the other tiny man," she said exasperatedly.

"Hmmm, I think you are going to have to describe him to me, Hermione," Harry said, trying not to laugh hysterically. Hermione was so funny when she drank too much, and it only took a glass or two before she was done in.

"He's a little, old, short man with a long white beard," Hermione said, looking towards the couch. She could have sworn only Dumbledore and Flitwick were sitting there, but that short little man had sat between them, and she didn't know who he was. He was sitting awfully close to them. Had the man never heard of 'personal space'? "You know, Harry, he looks like a combination of Dumbledore and Flitwick. I think I'll call him Dumblewick."

Harry spit out his firewhisky, that he had been in the process of swallowing, and said, "Hermione, that is the funniest thing you have ever said." Harry now knew that Hermione was so drunk that the two men's faces were morphing together as her world spun. "Dumblewick," Harry crowed as loud as he could. Albus just smiled and chuckled, while Flitwick looked a bit put out.

"You know, Mrs. Snape, the politically correct term is, 'little person'," Filius informed her.

"That is soooo cute. Little Person....ha ha ha ha ha," Hermione howled.

Severus had been watching this with amusement, but he knew that Flitwick had been drinking quite a bit, and Filius was not a nice drunk. He decided to go over, and distract his wife, and maybe have some fun torturing Weasley in the process. "Hermione, love, how are you?" Severus purred.

"Oh, Severus, have I ever told you how sexy your voice is," Hermione teased.

God he was going to have so much fun with her. "Yes, Hermione dear, you have. Do you see that niche in the wall over there?" Severus asked, as he pointed to the far wall in the corner.

"Yes, what about it," his wife asked.

"It's a magical niche, Hermione," Severus said as if he was talking to a small child. He was just making this up as he was going, but she was so far gone that it didn't matter.

"Really, magical?" Hermione asked in wonder.

"Oh, yes, my dear. It's magical because we could go over there, and I could give you an orgasm, and nobody would be able to see or hear us," Severus said, and his eyes actually twinkled.

"Your eyes are so pretty, Sev," Hermione said, losing focus for a minute.

"Yes, they are, Hermione," he agreed. "Come along, my dear." He helped her up and they strolled over to the niche. Severus cast silencing and disillusionment charms over the area; with one modification...Weasley could see and hear everything. Severus pushed Hermione against the wall in the niche, and began suckling on her neck, and licking down to her breasts. He stripped her out of her clothes, and dropped his trousers. His cock was pointing due north and north was Hermione City. He could see a pretty buzzed Weasley out of the corner of his eye, and waited for him to turn this way. He just needed to make a little noise.

"Oh God, Severus, that feels so good," his wife called out, as he nibbled behind her ear. Yep, that was the noise he needed.

"Oi, what the fuck are you doing?" Ron yelled out. Hermione kept moaning unaware of any sounds outside of their niche. Severus dropped to his knees, and lifted one of her legs and put it over his shoulder so that he could spread her pussy and taste her. He made sure to lift the leg that wouldn't interfere with Weasley's vision. Normally, Severus was a very possessive man, and wouldn't want another man seeing his wife naked, but he'd make an exception in this case. Yes, he really was a bastard. He spread Hermione's nether lips, and began licking her slit. She had the prettiest pink pussy he'd ever seen, and she always kept it shaved, completely.

Ron was hyperventilating now, and puffing up like a blowfish. Harry rushed over to see what was the matter with his best friend. 'God, first Hermione seeing strange little men, and now Ron getting so drunk he was yelling at invisible people,' Harry thought. "Ron, what's wrong, mate?"

"Harry, he's....he's...she's....they're....doing it right there," Ron managed to spit out. He was half disgusted and half enthralled.

"Who, Ron?" Harry asked, wondering how many more people were going to be seeing things tonight. He had a pretty nice buzz going on himself.

"Hermione and Snape, right there. He's eating her pussy, right in front of us," Ron groaned out.

"Um, Ron, this is just sick. I know that you have this thing for Hermione, but you really need to let it go. She's a married woman now, mate. Besides you two broke up after only a few months." Harry really wished that Ron would move on. He was always talking about how Hermione should leave Snape. It was becoming unhealthy.

"There is nobody there, Ron. Nobody, nada, no Hermione, no Snape," Harry said. Ron dropped to a nearby wooden chair, and just stared at the corner. Since Ron was behaving himself, and probably thinking over what Harry had told him, he decided to go find Ginny, and maybe have a dance with her before they left for their quarters.

Severus was a wicked, wicked, wicked man. He knew exactly what he was doing, and what it was doing to Ron. Ron had also never had Hermione in any sexual manner. The most that they had done was kiss, even though Ron always pestered her for more, when they had dated. Snape and Weasley hated each other with a passion. After Hermione climaxed, Severus stood up, licked his fingers, smacked his lips, turned in Ron's direction, and said, "Mmmmm, finger lickin good."

He kicked his trousers away from his ankles, and lifted her other leg all the way up to his shoulder while she still stood on her other one. Gods, she was so limber. She said it had something to do with gymnastics. He had never witnessed it, but he certainly prayed to the God of gymnastics, often. Once again, he made sure that her cunt was on full view to Weasley, and rubbed his hard cock up and down her slit, rubbing it on her clit. "Like that, Witch?" Severus asked her. She was beyond talking at this point, and was just speaking gibberish. He grasped the base of his shaft and positioned himself at her opening, and said, "Open wide Witch, the Hogwarts Express is coming through." He thrust in hard, rhythmically pushing Hermione up against the stone wall.

She would be in need of some bruise salve tonight.

He started out slow, drawing out his pleasure. Nobody had a pussy like his Hermione; she could take all of him. He began to think that he might actually have a bit of an exhibitionist streak. He could see Weasley just staring at them and looking sick.

Weasley's face had turned green and together with his red hair he looked like a Christmas elf. Ho-Ho-Ho. Gods this was a great night.

Severus began stroking her harder, and was soon pummeling her with his hips, the sounds of skin slapping on skin and panting filled his senses until he felt her walls clutch spasmodically at his shaft, and she came with a groan. Just before Severus came, he withdrew his cock and shot his come on Hermione's stomach and chest. This sent Weasley over the edge, and he puked all over himself. Severus cast a cleansing charm on himself and then on Hermione. He sorted out their clothes, and ended the charms as he led his wife over to Weasley. Minerva had already cast Cleansing and Air Purifying spells on Ron's mess, and was shaking her head and muttering about people not being able to control themselves around alcohol.

"Sorry to see that you were sick, Weasley," Severus taunted, as he and Hermione walked away. Hermione had no idea what was going on, and he really should feel guilty for taking advantage of her like that, but he didn't, not really, because they were married. "Come along, wife, let's go home and go to sleep."

Ron wasn't sure if he had really seen what he thought he had, or if he had imagined it. He had been drinking, but he didn't think he had too much. He pushed his glass away not wanting to imagine anything else like what he had just seen.

The party was still going strong when they left. Severus realized that for the first time ever, he had actually enjoyed the annual end of summer party.