When Snape Finally Loses It

Many, immeasurable thanks to everyone who has read and rated the previous two scenarios! Five stars already! Inspiration struck again my dears. Therefore, here are the next two scenarios. The previous disclaimers still apply yadda, yadda. Yeah, you know the drill :P

Scenario Three – In the Corridor One Day
“Oh... my... god...” Every word punctuated with disbelief as they fell from Ron’s lips. Ron grasped Harry’s arm tightly as their Potions professor strode towards them along the corridor, looking as a man on a mission does. Eyes focused eerily still on the path forward, arms swinging in a march rhythm and voluminous cloak swirling as a bat’s enlarged wings in the steady slip stream of the man’s passage. Both boys stared dumbly as the man strode past them apparently not noticing them as he continued. For several moments, they stood in silence, staring at the corner around which the flick of Snape’s cloak had just disappeared.

“Did you just see...?” Harry started only to drift off astounded.

“Yeah...” Ron gulped.

“Wasn’t that just...?” Harry began again, pointing at the corner and back to where they had first clapped eyes on Snape.

“Yep,” Ron nodded, his look of disbelief apparently moulded onto his face.

“Where’s Hermione?” Harry asked in surprise. Turning around he could not catch sight of her anywhere. “She can’t have gone to the library for that surely?”

“I don’t know mate. It was pretty... weird,” Ron shrugged and pulled a chocolate bar from his bag.

“She was just...” Harry took a step backward and fell backwards over an unconscious Hermione, “Hermione!” Scrambling to his feet again, Harry knelt alongside her and pressed a hand to her forehead. “I think she’s just fainted,” Harry sighed with relief and gently patted her hand in his.

“Over that?” Ron declared, his eyebrows fleeing to his hairline. “It was weird and all but not that bad... all right it was bloody weird.”

“Snape... clean hair...” Hermione mumbled as she slowly began to come around, “TAN!” She shouted the last word as she sat up. “Oh... what happened? Did someone jinx me?” She whispered pressing a hand to her forehead. “I thought I saw Professor Snape striding towards us, with freshly washed hair and a tan! It was the strangest dream ever...”

“It wasn’t a dream Hermione,” Harry assured her. “That was Snape. He did have clean hair and a tan, he actually looked human.”

“Yeah, it was bloody weird!” Ron stated again, stuffing the empty chocolate wrapper into his bag.

“I was sure someone had jinxed me! Professor Snape? With clean hair and a tan? Are you sure it wasn’t a Boggart chasing him?” Hermione demanded as she stumbled to her feet and dusted herself off.

“I can assure you Miss Granger that I am not a Boggart and that even those of such intelligence as myself do get at least a little offended when all anyone ever mentions when describing them is greasy hair and sallow skin. Now... is there not somewhere you should be doing immeasurably annoying good? Instead of obsessing over my appearance...?” Snape demanded quietly as he stood in front of them, arms folded and looking considerably less threatening than usual with a delicate golden sheen upon his skin and beautifully soft silken hair.

“Yes Professor, sorry Professor,” Hermione quickly fumbled over her words and hurried away. She returned after a few steps and dragged a gaping Harry and Ron away, quickly smacking Ron’s pointing finger down to his side.


Scenario Four – In the Staff Room One Day
The collected members of staff watched silently as their usually sullen Potions Master peered around the corner of the staff room nervously. It was an usual sight for someone who usually stormed into a room, demanding silence and respect with the creepy, sweeping aura his cloak gave off and depressing presence. Today, he was practically comical. His obsidian eyes, usually clouded with sarcasm and hatred, today were glassy and wide. “Why has the staff meeting been called?” He whispered to the nearest teacher, a gobsmacked Flitwick stared at him dumbly for a few seconds.

“Because Albus wants us all present,” Minerva informed him tartly, unsure whether to be amused or suspicious.

“Yes but why?” He hissed once more, a definite tone of fear upon his voice now.

“Well, seeing as the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher had that unfortunate accident...” Severus coloured slightly, Minerva raised an eyebrow pointedly but continued regardless, “I assume he wants to introduce the new teacher for the position, seeing as the term has barely started.” She finished with a scowl at the still hovering Potions Master who was clearly debating whether to make a run for it.

“What are they?” He demanded, potion stained fingers clutching tightly at the wood of the door. Minerva had the decency to at least look affronted at the question.

“What do you mean what are they? What kind of question is that Severus? If they were a leprechaun do you think you would be considered less of a wizard as you didn’t get the position again? Or are you just planning in advance now?” She snapped, exasperated by his behaviour and attitude towards anyone who took the post.

“I meant are they a wizard or a witch?” He hissed, glaring at the continually transfixed Flitwick.

“They are a wizard Severus.” Minerva informed him in a bored tone as she took another sip of tea.

“Will you please sit down Severus? You’re letting all the warm air out!” Professor Sinistra demanded, glaring at the man in a most offended way. Slowly Snape stepped into the room and gently placed himself in the closest seat to the door before remembering that Flitwick had already taken that seat. He jumped up and muttered an apology to the now rather crumpled teacher before taking the next nearest available seat.

Dumbledore entered scarce few moments later in a whirl of colourful robes and situated himself in the centre of the room so that everyone could see him quite clearly. Not that you could miss him, considering the techni-coloured coat he was wearing. With a confident beam at the smiling faces around him and ignoring the paler one of a disapproving Snape, Dumbledore began. “May I have your attention please, as I introduce our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher! Now I know that you were all expecting a man however, what I have found in the past week is a more than capable witch. She has won every Beauty Prize she has entered for, has the most magical and perfect laugh and smile and long blonde hair. Although she has only just turned 20 she has defeated every kind of Dark Magic she has come across, with a smile on her face and won every award possible. An adept Potions Master and with morals to make the most angelic of us look as devils. I have also been informed that her boyfriend has just abandoned her...
” Dumbledore trailed off as a deep echoing scream and the slamming of a door reverberated through the castle. “What’s his problem?” The elderly head master questioned pointing to the dust settling where Snape had sat moments before. Minerva glanced up at the empty chair and ruffled through a small pile of papers. She quietly handed over the latest entry to the Harry Potter fandom on AdultFanfiction.net.

Dumbledore studied it for a few moments before returning it to the witch. “Perhaps I should have mentioned her perfectly correlated intelligence?”