Love, Marriage, and Pranks

Love, Marriage, and Pranks

Harry could not believe it. He had not felt this numb since after he had killed Voldemort. When would fate grant him a break, cease being ever so cruel to him? All he wanted was a quiet life and to graduate Hogwarts and maybe get married and have a couple of kids if he could find himself a worthy wizard to call his own.


Harry instantly decided he was not going to read the newspaper first. No first, he wanted to know whom the ministry had chosen to shackle him to, who the other individual who had their freedom of choice taken alongside his own was?


Harry picked up the crème coloured thick envelope and opened it with shaking hands. He noted there was more than one sheet of parchment held within. The top sheet was the official letter informing of the law and who was chose as his spouse and the other future parent of his children. It read as-


Dear Mr, H.J. Potter


We are writing to you to inform you of the recent law enforced by the minister of magic, Minister Kingsley Shacklebolt. Due to the dangerous decline in the wizarding population since the recent war has come to an end it is of most importance that you follow and abide by this law. If in failure to do so for any reason not considered valid by the minister it is within our right to strip you of your magic and your wand destroyed and disposed of. You will be required to leave the wizarding world indefinitely.

We have taken your sexual orientation into consideration Mr. Potter, believing a marriage to be successful if the right member of sex is chose, in your case a wizard. Several tests conducted by professional used to detect your perfect match were completed. The test results reveal that your perfect match and soon to be spouse is one Mr. George Weasley of Arthur and Molly Weasley.


You have a week which to comply and inform the ministry of your acceptance of this law, if failure to do so your magic will be stripped from you and your wand destroyed. You have until December 18th to comply and marry Mr. Weasley.


Please read the other pages enclosed to read rules and deadlines.


Moira Warwick, head of the ministry department of births, deaths, and marriages


Hermione Granger asked, “Who did you end up with Harry? My chosen spouse apparently is Fred as in Fred Weasley. We are total opposites. We couldn’t be any more different if we even tried.”


She added coldly, “This is simply barbaric. They have taken away our freedom of choice. They are making a mockery out of marriage. Marriage should not be entered into due to some stupid law, or to someone who is not of your own choosing either.”


Harry let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, removing his glasses in the process. He merely handed the letter to her and continued to squeeze his eyes shut tightly hopping to stem the migraine he could unfortunately feel starting to build within him.


Hermione took the letter and was stunned to see that Harry had gotten George. Therefore, she and Harry would be marrying the Weasley twins. She supposed if she had to endure marriage to Fred she was glad it was Harry who got the other twin, knowing how practically inseparable the two identical brothers were. She figured they would deal with it together.


Harry replaced his glasses on his nose and accepted the letter back from a still very much-stunned Hermione. He asked Ron, Ginny and Neville, whom were sat nearby, “So who did you three get?” Ginny looked pale as she and Neville eyed each other in disbelief. Ron on the other hand was looking at his own letter in muted horror. His skin had gone so pale his freckles stood out in stark contrast.


Ron stuttered, “Bloody hell, sweet Merlin’s balls. I can’t believe this.” He scrubbed a hand across his face, before shoving his plate away from him. The thought of eating what remained on his plate made him want to double over and up chuck the contents of his stomach.


Hermione exclaimed, “Oh honestly Ronald, who did you end up with?” Ron shook his head and merely tossed the letter to Harry, who was looking at him expectantly. He practically pounced on the parchment, desperate to know what rattled his best mate, besides the obvious being he had to marry and produce offspring with a witch who was not of his own choosing.


Harry quickly scanned the letter and gasped out aloud. He exclaimed, “Holy crap, no wonder Ron looks like he’s been petrified. Look at whom he got. Whoa and I thought I was in for one hell of a ride with who I ended up with.”


Hermione huffed impatiently and snatched the parchment from his hands, causing him to shoot her a dirty look, which of course went completed ignored by her. He watched her reaction and smirked when he saw her own smirk curling the corners of her lips.


“Luna Lovegood” She said. “I think you got off lightly, very lightly if you discard the fact she is more than a little on the eccentric side. That she talks about creatures I swear do not exist except for in the imaginations of her and her father’s minds. Part from that you are lucky Ronald” she concluded with a firm tone and a nod.


Ron exclaimed indignantly, “How the hell is being paired with Luna Lovegood considered lucky?” Harry replied, “Hey, there is nothing wrong with her. Who cares if she dresses and acts a little eccentric? What counts is that she is smart and attractive. Be grateful you have not ended up with the likes of Pansy Parkinson or worse Lavender.”


Ginny snapped out of her dazed stare off with Neville and commented, “Trust me Ron, you are lucky. Luna is one of my closest friends. She is kind and sweet; her eccentric ways just make her all the more interesting to know and be around.”


Neville spoke for the first time adding, “Plus it could have been a whole lot worse if you had ended up with Lavender. Last time I bothered to check you and she did not exactly part on the best of terms after sixth year. Imagine her with her grudge against you being your wife.”


Harry snorted as he said, “Yeah, she would probably try to suffocate you in your sleep or passed on her grudge against you onto any kids you would have had.” Hermione practically cackled as she added, “You never know your first born could have been named Won Won Jr.”


Hermione, Harry, Ginny and Neville cracked up laughing until tears streamed down their faces, causing many people to eye them in disgust or worry, thinking they had cracked under the pressure of what had happened that morning.


Ron was glowering darkly at the other four and exclaimed, “Oh shove it, bloody shove it the lot of you. Who the hell did you four get paired up with that you can still laugh at my shitty fate?”


That instantly sobered them like a bucket of ice-cold water chucked over their heads. Hermione replied stiffly, “People always said they thought I would marry into the Weasley family, marry you in fact. I hoped to, but never to you Ron. You’re like a brother to me and we argue far too much to have amounted to anything good.”


Ron grumbled in reply, “Yeah true I guess. Why do you think I went with Lavender in sixth year instead of you?” He added, “So who did you get then?” Hermione handed over her letter and sat back, waiting with baited breath to see how he and Ginny would react, she was looking over Ron’s shoulder reading along with him.


Ginny gasped and placed a hand over her mouth, while Ron’s jaw went slack and his eyes practically bugged. Ginny exclaimed, “Oh my god, your got Fred. We are going to be sisters. This is the best news, although it would have been a sight better and far less awkward if you weren’t marrying him due to this bloody stupid law.”


Ron shook his head in disbelief and asked, “Damn Hermione, you and Fred? I have never known such opposites like you and him. He is a prankster and hardly ever acts serious. While you on the other hand are always serious and always found studying or reading a book. You care about your grades and he didn’t.”


Harry commented, “I seriously do hope opposites do attract, or I and my husband are just going to end up with a marriage based on sex and nothing else. I already know what he is like in bed. It does not mean I considered him to be boy friend or husband material though even if I did at one point fancy him like rotten.”


Hermione exclaimed, “You slept with George? Oh god, when?” Before Harry could reply, Ginny practically shrieked, causing a few people to look their way. “Oh my god, you got paired with George and you slept with him?”


Harry hissed, “Yes! Damn it; keep your voice down, Gin. I don’t want nor need the whole bloody great hall hearing about who was my first and most likely to be my only lover is thank you very much.”


He added at Ron and Neville’s gobsmacked looks. “It happened on the night before Bill married Fleur and we left to search for the six remaining Horcruxs. I knew I fancied George like rotten towards the end of my fifth year before he and Fred left Hogwarts.”


He paused looked down at his hands, there was a sad smile curling the corners of his lips as he added, “I knew for such I loved him the night we spent together. He admitted to having fancied me since his sixth year. Although I knew his feelings were nowhere near as strong as mine.”


He continued at their looks of surprise, “I did not want to go off looking for those bloody Horcruxs then fight Voldemort as a virgin in case I died. So I and George agreed to spend one night together in case anything happened to the other during the remainder of the war.”


Ginny asked, “So you weren’t looking for a relationship with him then?” Harry shook his head and replied, “I won’t deny I did love him, still do for that matter. Although I knew how he made a habit of sleeping around with so many other guys.”


He shrugged and added, “I did not want to get involved with someone who liked to share himself around so freely as if it was nothing. I wanted a relationship and loved him, but knew he did not so I never said anything to him about it.”


He continued, “Besides, with me gone off looking for the Horcruxs I had no idea whether I would have made it back in one piece or alive. I decided it would have been too much to ask him to wait for my return that is of course if I ever did return in one piece or even alive.”

He concluded with an even sadder looking smile, “Then there is the fact I was terrified he would reject me if he knew of the actual extent of my feelings for him. I did not want to scare him off, sending him running from me.”


Harry wanted to change the subject and asked, “So who did you two end up with then?” Neville and Ginny blushed brightly and refused to meet each other’s gaze. Ginny replied, “Neville,” Neville replied, “And I got Ginny.”


Ron exclaimed, “Whoa, you mean you got each other?” Ginny and Neville nodded, both blushing even brighter as they looked down at the letters on the table in front of them.


Harry chuckled and said, “Wow, now that is what I call seriously lucky. You both know each other very well and your good friends. I’d say you both got it easy, considering you know and are comfortable in each other’s presence.”


Hermione added, “Of course there is the fact Neville is a great and respectable guy, who we all know will treat you with respect. Then of course it helps that he is not too hard on the eyes either.” She concluded, “And he of course is a sweetheart and a big softy who will spoil you rotten. I say you’ve got it made here, Gin.”


Neville blushed even brighter at her praise of him if that were even possible. He was glad Harry and Hermione approved of him for Ginny. He just wondered how Ron and the rest of the Weasley’s would react.


As if reading his mind Ron said, “I would have preferred Harry, but we all know Gin is sporting the entirely wrong packaging.” He concluded, “So I guess if it had to be someone else, I am glad it is you and not someone like Malfoy or Connors.”


Neville and the others realised that was as good as approval as Neville was going to get from Ron at this stage. It more than enough when he considered how gruff and hard headed Ron could be once he truly got started on something that he did not like.