I Promise, My Son

Ron thought his heart was about to explode. He had never been more nervous then he was at this moment. He never cared about what people thought of him but this boy’s opinion meant everything to him. He never thought about impressing anyone, but he wanted to look and be at his best today.



Pansy was equally nervous. She hadn’t told Ryan about Ron’s visit. She didn’t know if Ron would have to cancel or not so she didn’t want to raise his hopes and then have to let him down. She wasn’t going to tell him that Ron was his father, but she usually told him when a visitor was expected.



Today she decided to let it remain a surprise. She was scared and terrified that it would go bad. Would Ryan deny Ron? Would he get angry? Would he demand answers about where he was? What if he demanded Ron move in? What would they say to all these questions? What would they tell him?



KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!



He was here, no time to back out now. She opened the door and Ron entered. She actually felt glad that he was just as nervous as she was. “Hi.” She breathed out.



“Hello.” He said and inhaled. “Are you ready to do this?” He asked.



“Yes.” She said. They gave each other a supportive look and then Pansy called out down the hall. “Ryan, come here please!” She couldn’t sit down, and neither did he. They stood waiting as they heard feet hurrying toward them.



A little boy stopped when he saw Ron. Ron looked down at him and smiled. He had Ginny’s eyes. He was frozen in time as this little boy looked at him with courtesy. “You have the same hair as me.” He said.



Ron chuckled. “Yes I do.” He said.



“Who are you?” He asked innocently.



Ron looked over to Pansy and they exchanged a look. “Ryan, this is Ron. He’s your father.” She said softly.



“You are!” He said looking over at Ron with a huge smile.



“Yes I am.” Ron said with his own big smile. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Ryan.” He said kneeling and offering a hand.



“Do you want to see my room?” He asked shaking his hand.



Ron looked up at Pansy who smiled down at him. “I sure would.” He let the boy tug him down the hall and drag him into his private domain. “You like quidditch do you?” He asked with a chuckle at the figures on the shelves.



“Yeah, I want a broom but mother says not yet.” He said then got excited. “You could tell her I can have one right?”



Ron laughed, “I will talk to her, but I cant promise anything.” He said. The boy made a predictable face. He had obviously heard that answer before.



The boy jumped over on his bed and showed him the wall behind the headboard. Ron didn’t notice it before but then again he hadn’t notice anything but the sleeping son he was seeing for the first time. Ryan had hung several magazine pages featuring players in flight. He didn’t seem to have any particular team, he just had a fascination with the sport.



“When I was a boy my room looked like this.” He said.



“Really.” Ryan asked with wide eyes.



“Yes. My favorite team is the Cannons, I had my walls covered in pictures. I played on the house team at Hogwarts.” He said.



“I want to see a game but mother always says no.” He didn’t sound sad, just factual about it. Ron didn’t make any promises. It would be much better to surprise him when he least expected it. Ron was always going to games and had already planned to take his son to a game.



“How about lunch?” Ron asked. “I know a great restaurant we can go to. There’s a playground to play on when you finish eating.”



“We can really go?” He asked standing up on his bed.



“Sure, lets get your mom.” He picked up the boy and set him down on the floor thinking he was practically weightless.



“Mom, he’s going to take us to lunch.” The boy was already grabbing his cloak.



“Lunch?” She asked, looking over at Ron.



“Yes, lets go.” He said.



“I’ll need to stop by Gringott’s first.” She said looking a little apprehensive.



“It’s on me Pansy.” He said handing her the black cloak that was hanging on the wall hook.



“Alright then.” She agreed. She didn’t have the heart to refuse Ryan with his excited look. He had his cloak on in record time.



During lunch Ryan devoured his plate. Ron smiled to himself as he remembered his own appetite. He obviously had his fathers metabolism. It would increase when he began flying and playing quidditch.



“Mom, can I go play?” He asked pointing to the playground area. It was filled with kids who were playing while their parents took advantage of the rest time.



“Sure you can.” He was out of his chair before she finished the first word. “Thank you for lunch Ron. It was a real treat for him.”



“You don’t go out much?” He asked.



“I don’t like to waist money on things like this.” She said.



“Is money an issue?” He asked her.



“No, I’m not struggling if that’s what your asking. I just don’t like to spend everything I make. Having a good amount saved makes me feel more secure.” She said.



“Has there been anyone for you?” He asked taking a sip of his drink. “I know its not my business but I’m just wondering.”



“You mean about what Ryan must have thought?” She asked.



“No, about how you have been since then.” He said, looking at her.



She smiled and gave him a nod. “There hasn’t been anyone. They run anyway when they hear about Ryan, but it didn’t matter. I didn’t want him to think that the man who was always around was his father. I always said Draco’s name when he was around to let him know that Draco wasn’t ‘dad’.”



“I’m sorry you had to refuse that.” He said.



“Its nothing to be sorry about. If they are going to have issues with Ryan, then they aren’t worth it. I saw my ex all over again, and all his selfishness.” She sighed and shook her head. “I don’t want to end up with a man like that a second time.” She looked up at him and the acceptance in his face. “What about you? Has there been anyone?”



“No. The woman I was exposed to wanted to be with an artist, it didn’t matter who. They liked the romanticism of being involved in the art world. They also hated when I had my siblings visit.” He breathed in and out slowly. “Anyone who cant accept my family isn’t for me. I’m close to my brothers and sisters.”



“I remember you being close with them.” She said. Her face fell just a little.



“What’s that face for?” He asked gently.



“I wondered many times what your family would think of Ryan.” She admitted.



“Would you have ever told them?” He asked.



“Even if I had planned to tell you, I wouldn’t have let them know. I would have let you know first then it would have been your decision.” She loked up and relaxed a little more. He was easier to talk to him now that they were older. “I don’t think its right for a family to know before the father does.”



“Draco had an idea it was me you know?” He said.



“I know, he asked a few times, but I just stayed quiet. I think he assumed it was you, seeing as how you had left for Italy and you would have been back if you knew.” She assumed.



“I’d have married you if I knew.” He blurted out. She averted her eyes and shifted in her seat. “I’m sorry if I make you nervous, but I grew up in a stable home with both parents, that’s what I know.” He said.



“I know. I was raised with both parents but I decided it was better to raise Ryan away from that.” She said.



“I’d like to be an active father Pansy.” He said. “After telling him the truth he’s going to have more questions, and I cant just disappear again. He’s going to want it too.”



“I know. I wont deny that Ron. Not anymore.” She said.



“I’d like to him to meet my family too.” He said.



“They are going to be angry.” She said, looking away again.



“I’ll speak with them before I bring you two to the Burrow.” Her eyes flew open and she gawked at him.



“What do you mean ‘you two’? I don’t need to be there.” She said.



“I think it might be scary for him to be thrown into a huge family when it’s just been you two, he will want you there, and you are his mother. My family will understand that. I said I will speak to them first and I wont let them treat you badly.” Ron knew his whole family would be fine with her. His mother may have issues but he would handle her before bringing Ryan over. He’d have his father help if he needed it.



“If you can make sure that we don’t have any problems then we’ll go.” She said. She was still so unsure about having to defend her actions to his family.



“Hey….um….Ron?” Ryan said running over, obviously confused about what to call him. Ron said nothing. Ryan would decide when to call him ’dad’ on his own.



“Yes?” He asked looking down at the boy who was at his side.



“Where have you been?” He asked innocently.



Ron looked up at Pansy and saw her face. She was scared, that much was obvious. She didn’t want to deal with it this soon but now it was staring at her in the face. “Let’s go on back to your house and we can talk about it there, alright?” Ron said to his son.



“Alright.” The boy didn’t feel the nervousness of his parents as they all gathered cloaks and let the restaurant. Pansy was silent during the entire walk and when they entered her flat she dropped slowly into her armchair.



“Ryan, sit down will you?” Ron took the other armchair while Ryan sat on the coffee table. It didn’t make any different to Pansy, so most likely she let him sit on the sturdy table frequently. Ryan was looking from one to the other, finally picking up on the tension.



“Mum, why are you so sad?” He asked as her stricken expression. Pansy leaned forward and faced her son. “There are some things that need to be explained and I’m going to try and say it so you will understand, alright?” She spoke calmly to her son.



“Alright.” He said, watching her. Ron could see the concern, at his mothers strange form of speech. He knew then that Pansy had never spoken to him like this before.



“When I found out you were on the way, I was surprised and didn’t tell Ron that he was going to be a daddy.” She said softly. “He was leaving to go to Italy for several years, and I never told him that you were coming.”



“Why not?” He asked just as innocently as his other questions.



“I was afraid sweetheart.” She admitted. “Afraid that Ron might not believe me if I told him he was your father, or that he might try to take you away from me if he knew.”



Ryan glared at Ron with hard eyes that didn’t belong on a child. “You’re not going to do that.” He said firmly. Ron wanted to smile at the strength the young man of the house was showing, but he didn’t. He was being brave with Ron and Ron would respect it.



“No, I won’t do that.” He said. “I wouldn’t have done it then either, but your mom was scared, and I want you to know that she won’t be scared anymore.”



“She said you wouldn’t believe her.” He said.



“I do believe her. There are some men who think women tell lies, but I don’t think that. Your mom says I am your father and you are my son and I believe her.” He said.



“So do I.” He said then looked back to his mom. “Why are you still sad mum?”



“I thought you might be mad at me.” Her heart broke to admit something like this to her little boy. “If you are mad because I didn’t tell you about your father then I deserve it, and I understand.” She let a few tears slip down her cheeks but Ron couldn’t have said anything to make her feel better. Her son was taking care of that.



“I’m not mad mum.” He said as if that solved everything, and he was right. Pansy face lit up and she smiled brightly at her son. He could have asked her several questions but he didn’t.



“Thank you my baby.” She said, holding her arms out for a hug, which the little boy eagerly gave.



“Are you going to live with us now?” He asked still in his mothers lap. Ron smiled as the paler in Pansy’s face went whiter by two shades.



“No, Ryan, I’m not going to live here.” He said calmly. “I have my own house.”



“Like Thomas and his parents? He has two homes.” The boy said.



“I hope you will consider my home yours as well. You are welcome there anytime.” He said.



“Can we go see it?” He asked his mother with a hopeful look.



“Soon, you can go and see it my dear, but slow down. Ron just returned home and I’m sure he still setting up his house.” She said. She looked at Ron and he knew what she was thinking. She wanted to move things slow and not throw everything at the boy at once. He still had to meet Ron’s family and that in itself was a trial at time. His young memory would be tested learning everyone’s names.



“Soon enough, you and your mother can come for dinner.” He offered.



“Alright.” The wide eyes look on his son while he accepted for his mother was adorable to Ron and even cuter to Ron was the look on Pansy’s face as she was obligated to an evening by her son.



Ryan asked Ron to stay while he took his bath. He agreed and as the water splashed in the other room Ron looked over at the shelves that held her memories. Photos of Ryan at every age were scattered about. He felt sad at having missed some of these important times. He wasn’t even there when he was born.



He saw how happy Ryan looked in the pictures and even saw a few with Draco. The blonde was obviously a permanent fixture in his life and Ron felt a surge of gratitude for his presence. Pansy would have always been taken care of with him around.



He spun around when he heard feet running toward him. Ryan in dark blue pajamas and damp hair looked up at him. “Are you going to come and read too?” He asked.



“Sure I will.” He said and followed Ryan back to his room where Pansy was pulling out a book.



“In bed, little man.” She said. Ron sat on the floor, while Ryan got in bed and Pansy sat next to him, reading from Beetle The Bard. She had barely finished the story when the boy was snoring lightly, his legs curled up just like Ron had seen him that first time.



The both kissed his cheek and Pansy walked him to the door. “Thank you for lunch today. Ryan enjoyed it.” She said.



“He’s my son Pansy. I want to help take care of him.” He said.



“You’ll have to bare with me Ron, I’ve done this by myself for almost well over four years, it will take some getting used to.” She said.



“I know, we’ll figure out a way.” He said. “I’m going to see my family soon and talk to them. I want to bring you and Ryan over this weekend.” He said watching her reaction.



“I’m not sure I’d be welcome at your family’s home considering…….”



“I’m going to have it at my home. I will invite my family over. It will be in my domain and on my terms.” He said. “I want you there, you are his mother.”



She thought about how excited Ryan would be and couldn’t refuse him this. It was his family after all, and after not knowing about Ron for so long, he had more then his own right to know everything. “Alright Ron, I’ll let Ryan know that this weekend we’ll see his other family.”



“I’ll send him an owl to let him know when.” Ron said.



“He likes getting owls.” Pansy said with a smile.



“Pansy, I’d like to kiss you goodbye if I could.” He said softly. Pansy felt her pulse increase. It had been years since she felt Ron’s kiss and that night, even with the champagne in her system, it was burned into her memory. He was every type of lover a woman wanted and she wondered over and what he would be like with his full unaffected capacity.



“I suppose that would be alright.” She whispered not looking at him. She watched his hand come up and his fingers slid under her chin, lifting here lips. Her eyes drifted close as he leaned in meeting her lips with his. It ignited long denied sensations that her body craved.



When they had taken out their frustrations on each other that night, they didn’t care about shyness or modesty and if alcohol hadn’t been involved she would have been embarrassed at some of the things she had done with him and to him.



Ron didn’t press for more then an innocent kiss, even though he had a feeling she would have allowed it. He wanted to move slowly. They had rushed and had no time with each other. Ron wanted to take his time with Pansy. The memories of that carnal night kept him hungry in Italy for so long. This time he would move slow and make sure she had nothing to fear.



He pulled away after a few moments and let his fingers slid away from her chin. She gave him a small smile, and he returned it. She had given birth to his child and she was still shy with him. He found it adorable. He took his leave and Pansy shut the door and leaned against it giving in to a giggle.