The best laid plans...

SUMMARY: The summer after Harry’s fourth year doesn’t quite go as planned. His parents aren’t who he thought they were, Snape’s acting human; Dumbledore’s a manipulative old coot, and what’s up with the Malfoy’s? N/C, creature, dark!powerful!harry, m/m, f/f.

AN: Sorry so long in between posting everyone, but the end of the semester kicked my tail. Hopefully I will be able to post a little more often now. Please, if you like this story tell me. If you hate it tell me, but please make it in a way that is constructive as this is my first posted story. Thank you!

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At the very moment Vernon Dursley entered Harry Potter, the front door to 4 Privet Drive exploded as Severus Snape stalked in. Vernon’s face was nearly purple as he demanded that Snape leave his home.

“Out you freak! How dare you enter my home without my permission?!”

“Stupefy! I am here to retrieve my son!”

Harry just looked up at his professor in shock. “Son? Who’s your son? Why is he here? Where is he?”

You are my son. And let me assure you that I intend to find out why you are here.”

“I don’t understand!” Harry was hysterical and trying to retreat to the relative safety of his cupboard.

“Harry calm down! I swear to you as soon as you are safe and healed I will tell you everything. I swear it! I even have a letter from James and Lily for you! But you must calm yourself.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll try. I guess I have no choice but to trust you.”

“No. At this moment you really don’t. Here, take these. They will help until I am able to get you to a Healer.”

“No!” Harry was half-crazed at the thought of going to a healer. ‘No one knows. I’ve kept this secret for seven years, how can I trust anyone now?”

“Why ever not? You have physical wounds that are beyond my abilities to heal and you need to speak with a counselor.”

Severus was astonished at the amount of damage that had been inflicted on Harry. His eyes were both black and swollen, his nose had been badly broken, he was covered in bloody laceration, and likely had a number of broken bones.

“I can’t go to a healer! They’ll know! Everyone will realize I’m totally worthless. Good for nothing but a muggle family’s toy. Please, please don’t take me to a healer!”

Harry was screaming and begging by this point. Severus was just horrified. “Here, take this. It’s Dreamless Sleep. It will help tremendously. You can’t begin to heal until you rest.”

Harry eyed him suspiciously. “You won’t take me to a healer, will you?”

Severus sighed. “No. I won’t bring you to a healer without your permission.”

Harry nodded and tried to wipe his face. “Fine. Give me the damn potion. And no bringing a healer to me either.”

Severus scowled as he realized that Harry had realized exactly what he was going to do. “Fine. No healer. As soon as you take the potion I’m taking you to Snape Manor. You will likely sleep through the night and we will speak in the morning.”

Harry gulped down the Dreamless Sleep, shuddering in disgust at the taste. “Snape Manor? You have a manor?”

“Of course. Technically it is still my mother’s manor, but it will be mine when she passes, and I stay there most summers.”

Harry was astonished and desperately fighting sleep. “Your mother is alive? I have a grandparent? And you’re my father?!”

“Clever as always. Yes all of these are true. You will likely be disappointed in your sole surviving grandparent as I get my personality directly from her. Sleep now, I will tell you everything tomorrow.”

“K. Snarky bastard, but real. Dumble…fake, not disappointed.”

It was too bad Harry didn’t remain awake to see the look of utter shock cross Snape’s face. Severus looked up the stairwell with a sneer as it became evident they Dursely’s disgusting child had heard the entire rampage.

Beached whale, Jr. was standing at the top of the stairwell with a horrified look on his piggy face. “What are you doing here?! What did you do to my father you freak?!”

“Stupefy! Fucking hell! How can one family have so many idiots?”

“Severus looked over at Harry and felt a wave of anger crash over him. With a quick Mobilicorpus to shift Harry to the overstuffed couch, he then gathered the members of the Dursley family in the living room. Petunia had been hiding in the downstairs bathroom, but her pitiful sobbing had giving away her location.

Severus fixed the entire Dursley family with the harshest glare he could manage. Vernon and Dudley were still stupefied and Petunia seemed paralyzed with terror.

“I don’t know what they bloody hell happened here Dursley, but I do know this! I am taking custody of Harry as of now. I am also going to see to it that charges are filed against you, and that you rot in Azkaban prison”

Petunia let out a whimper of fear. “You cannot send us to Azkaban. It’s called the wizarding prison for a reason. It’s only for wizards!”

The evil chuckle Severus let escape made Petunia go even pales. “There, you foolish muggle is where you are wrong. Crimes of this magnitude against the savior of the entire wizarding world? You will be lucky if the worst punishment you receive is being kissed.”

Snape stood quickly and cast a quick Accio to gather Harry’s things. Harry had sent Hedwig to spend the summer at the Weasley’s and the rest of Harry’s meager possessions were easily shrunk and placed in one of Snape’s many pockets.

“Now, before we leave, for my punishments for you. You know, I take great pleasure in causing fools terror. It’s probably why I made such a good Death Eater. But I think I will enjoy this better than any Dark Revel. I am going to finite the stupefy because I want to hear you scream.”

Severus paused to enjoy the sounds of Petunia’s stifled sobbing. “Finite Incatatum. Subnecto. There we go. Everyone all nice and tied up. Petunia… I think you will be first. Animadverto plurimus invisus alio sentio poena.” Severus smirked as Petunia let out a pained gasp. “That’s a nifty little spell there. Whenever you think about the person you hate the most, you will feel pain equal to that of the cruciatus curse. I created it myself. My dear father was the first recipient. See, not only did he already hate me, my causing him so much pain made him hate me even more. He eventually went insane.”

Severus turned towards Vernon. “This is the most appropriate spell for you. My dear father was the first recipient of this one as well. Ut discerpo genitor.”

Vernon’s crotch immediately began to pour blood. With two-thirds of the Dursely family howling in pain and rage, Severus turned his attentions to the youngest member.

“Now for you. You and Harry are of an age aren’t you?”

Dudley was almost too terrified to respond. “Ye-ye-yes s-sir.”

“Hmm. I will hold you less accountable then. You are obviously a victim of their abuse as well.”

“You ruddy bastard! How dare you suggest - !”

“Silencio! I dare because he is at least seven and a half stone overweight! Even if he has a medical condition, there is no excuse for his weight to be so poorly controlled!”

“I’m not fat! Mummy says I have to keep my strength up for wrestling.”

“Codswallop. You’re fat. You would likely be a better wrestler if you weren’t in danger of having a heart attack at any moment. Now. You have two choices. You can stay with your parents and to go Azkaban prison or you can be adopted by a wizarding family so that I can keep an eye on you.”

Dudley plastered a look of intense concentration on his bloated face. “Azkaban…” He said the word carefully, not sure of the feel of it. “It that the place where the Demetors stay?”

“How do you - ? This year, of course. When the dementors attacked Harry, you were there with him?”

“Yeah. I-I couldn’t see them, I guess because I’m a muggle, but I could feel them. Felt like I would never be happy again. I don’t want to go to Azkaban! Do whatever you want to me, but I can’t go there!!”

Vernon’s face was purple with rage as he listened to the conversation between his child and Severus.

“What?,” Severus said with a sneer. “You have some kind of problem with my conditions?”

He paused and watched as Vernon jerked his head into the closest facsimile of a nod he could manage.

“Well, then it’s a good thing your opinion doesn’t matter isn’t it?”

Severus turned towards the Dursley adults. “After we leave, I am going to contact the auror. Let me make something very clear to you. If you ever get out of Azkaban, you had best not try to find any of us. If I find you defied me, castration and excruciating pain will be the least of your worries. Am I clear?”

Both of the Dursley’s nodded frantically.

Dudley tried to shrink away as Severus turned his wand towards him. “Foolish boy. As though that could save you. Obliviate totus.”

The ensuing blank look apparently satisfied Severus. “Now. Do you know your name?”

Dudley appeared to be deep in thought for a moment, but a look of horror quickly dawned on his face. “No.” he almost whispered. “I don’t. What’s my name?! Why don’t I know my name?!”

“Calm yourself. Place your hand on my arm. I am taking you home and your parents will explain everything when we arrive.”

Severus reached out and placed the palm of his hand on Harry’s face.

“One – two – three…”

*CRACK*

The Dursley’s simply stared dumbfounded at the spot that had just held their child and the man that caused their ruination.