9 months

Hermione twisted in the bed. She couldn't sleep. Every time she would drift off to sleep a nightmare would be waiting for her. She kept dreaming terrible things. She kept seeing an angry and abusive Severus.

A glance at the clock on the bedside table told her that it was two in the morning. She decided to get up and find something to drink.

Hermione stood up and wrapped herself in her robe. She glanced over at Severus to make sure that he was still sleeping. Her husband was fast asleep.

She walked out of the bedroom and into the sitting room. For a moment Hermione considered walking all the way to the kitchen. In the end she decided to summon a house elf. She knew Severus wouldn't like it but it was just once.

"Did you call?" a squeaky voice asked.

A house elf popped in front of her.

"Yes," Hermione said. "I would like some hot chocolate. Please."

"Of course," the house elf said smiling. "I am happy serve."

The house elf bowed and disappeared. Hermione sighed and sat down in Severus' chair. Something was poking at her. She dug her hand in the chair and pulled out a book.

Hermione raised an eyebrow as she opened the book. It wasn't like Severus to leave a book lying around.

Quickly she discovered it was a photo album of Severus and Lily. What the hell was he doing looking at it and why was he hiding it?

It hurt Hermione. It hurt that he was looking at pictures of an old girlfriend. She couldn't help but feel jealous. All these years she thought she had Severus to herself but it seemed that he had been sharing his heart all along.

She quickly hide the book when she heard someone entering the room. To her relief it was just the house elf. She took her hot chocolate and thanked the house elf.

For the longest time Hermione sat there sipping her hot chocolate and thinking.

She knew that Severus wasn't trying to hurt her. He would never try to hurt her. He just hadn't gotten over Lily.

"Hermione?" came Severus' voice.

Hermione looked up to see her husband enter the room. He had a concerned look on his face.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked walking over to her.

"I needed something to drink," she explained.

Severus raised an eyebrow as she down across from her. He had never known Hermione to wake up in the middle of the night because she was thirsty.

"What wrong?" he asked. "I know there is more to it."

"Is there anything you would like to tell me?" Hermione asked. "Is there anything you want to get off your chest?"

Severus was taken back by the question. Hermione was putting him on the spot. It was almost like she knew something. He suddenly looked at the chair she was sitting in. Perhaps she had found the photo album he had hid in the chair.

"I guess I have some explaining to do," Severus said letting out a large sigh.

"I guess you do," Hermione said pulling the photo album back out of the chair.

Severus wasn't sure what to say as Hermione flipped through the album. Her eyes were full of emotion. He could see the hurt in her eyes. She looked like she was on the brink of tears.

"How many times have you looked at this since we've been married?" Hermione asked turning her eyes to him.

"I...I don't know," he confessed.

"That many times?" she asked slamming it shut. "I just want to know one thing. Who is the first woman in your life?"

"You," he answered. "I love you."

"You still love her don't you?" Hermione asked.

"I can't help how I feel," he said not really answering her question.

Hermione jumped up to her feet. She slammed her half empty cup on the coffee table. The warm liquid flew out of the cup and splashed onto the table.

Severus couldn't help jumping slightly. He had never seen Hermione so angry.

"Who do you want to be married to?" she demanded. "Her or me?"

"You of course," Severus explained. "I want to be with you."

"That isn't the way it seems to me," she said. "It seems to me I'm a runner up prize. You couldn't get her so you took the next thing to come along."

"It isn't like that," Severus said in a strong tone.

He was starting to think Hermione was taking it too far. He understand her getting angry but she was blowing up at him.

"What is it like then?" she asked. "I'm married to you. I'm carrying your children. But as soon as my back is turned you are looking at pictures of an old girlfriend."

Severus couldn't look his wife in the eye. He knew she was right. What he had been doing was wrong. Sneaking and looking at pictures of an old girlfriend when you are married to a wonderful woman was wrong. The only problem he had was admitting it was wrong out loud.

"Promise me you won't do it again," she said kneeling down in front of him. "Promise me you'll put the album away and promise me you'll never look at it again as long as I am your wife."

"I can't," he whispered. "I can't make such a promise."

"What?" Hermione asked in a shocked voice.

"I'll slip and look it every once in a while," Severus admitted. "I can't live the rest of my life without seeing her picture."

"Well," Hermione said tossing the album his way. "I guess you can live the rest of your life without me then."

Reality hit Severus hard as he watched his wife walk into their bedroom.

"No!" he said running after her. "I don't want you to go. I love you. I'll throw it out. I'll never look at it again."

"You missed your chance," she said pulling out her over-night bag. "So the reason you're with me is finally out huh?"

"What do you mean?" Severus asked trying to get her bag out of her hands.

"I'm a muggle born," Hermione said clinging to her back. "She was a muggle born. We're both very smart and we were both friends with a boy named Potter."

When Hermione finally got her bag free of Severus' hands she started to throw clothes in it.

"No," he said shaking his head. "I love you. You were never a replacement for her."

"No," Hermione said in an angry voice. "I could never equal her."

"I love you Hermione," he said trying to get in between her and the dresser. "I won't look at it again. I'll...I'll make an Unbreakable Vow."

The caused Hermione to look up from her bag.

"You'd do that?" she asked.

She never make him do one but the fact that he was willing touched her. He must mean what he says to even think about making an unbreakable vow.

"I would," he said. "I want you to understand that I'm sorry."

Hermione couldn't hold in the tears anymore. They started to run out of her eyes and down her face. She collapsed onto the bed. Severus sat down next to her and pulled her into a hug.

"I am sorry darling," he said nuzzling against her.

"I know," she said curling up against him. "It just hurt me so much."

"It was wrong of me," he said running a hand through her hair. "Let me make it up to you."

Hermione knew what he meant. He wanted to ravish her. Hermione giggled and nodded.

Severus put an arm around her head and pulled her in for a kiss. It was long and deep. Hermione opened her mouth and let Severus dive deep into her mouth. Something about his kisses made her so horny.

"Where do you want me to put it tonight?" he questioned when he had to pull back for air.

To his surprise Hermione jumped onto of him and forced him to his back. Even though he would never admit it out loud he loved it when Hermione dominated him.

Hermione was about ready to open her mouth when she felt a stab of pain. She gasp and put a hand to her stomach.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"I don't know," she admitted. "Something doesn't feel right."

"Come on," he said helping her to her feet. "Let's go see Poppy."

Hermione didn't say anything as another stap hit her. She just clung to Severus as he led her out of the room.