The Winding Road of Shadows

It was Harry’s 18th birthday, July the 31st in the year 1998.



He had been living in Grimmauld Place for the last couple of months, since soon after Voldemort’s death. Various people had offered to share the large, dismal residence, though Harry had refused all offers. This was because he didn’t want to put anyone out, or be rude, because Grimmauld Place had the power to depress anyone within its clutches and with all the recent cheer, it just didn’t seem right to do that to someone.



The war had ended, and Harry was more sought after than ever. Grimmauld Place was now his retreat from the world, and while he could leave at any time he wished, he felt trapped nonetheless. He couldn’t go out in public without being mobbed, swarms of well-wishers and reporters and people he knew and didn’t know would crowd around, waiting to hear him speak, wanting to touch him, wanting to know the most intimate details of life.



It was hell.



His life had been heading towards this point since he’d turned eleven, though Harry knew instinctively that he wasn’t supposed to have lived through the final confrontation. The fact that he had died was proof enough, he thought, and it felt to Harry like more than just the bit of Voldemort had stayed dead when the rest of him had risen again.



He had been avoiding the public, declining the many offers to speak at this function or that, or to attend this celebration as the guest of honour, since he knew that so long as he went to even one he would be expected to attend many more. And what was the point of all these social engagements? Did they serve any real purpose? Of course not. It was all fair and good to celebrate the end of Voldemort, but people really were going over board- what was society’s obsession with celebrity anyway? Harry had no desire to be any part of that.



Lolling about on the threadbare sofa at Grimmauld wasn’t exactly helping matters, but Harry was beyond caring. There was a new school year approaching, and while Hogwarts still wouldn’t be complete, it would regardless be opening to students new and old. It would be a good idea to finish school, but the thought of Hogwarts made Harry’s chest constrict painfully. He didn’t want to go back there, not yet, if ever.



The other option was getting a job, but how would that be possible? If Harry Potter worked anywhere in the wizarding world he wouldn’t be treated like just another employee, not if the current public obsession was any indication. And what options would he have in the Muggle work industry- Harry had no previous qualifications, not even a high school certificate of any sort.



Just as his mood was deteriorating further, a noise in the hall startled him. It was only two in the afternoon, and he knew that the others weren’t coming until at least four. Whoever it was wasn’t making an effort to be quiet, with soft but deliberate footfalls. His heart sank. Harry knew who it would be, and therefore wasn’t surprised when a feminine ginger head poked through the library door.



“There you are, I wondered where you were Harry.” Ginny grinned at him, hurrying over to sit beside him and leaning in to kiss his unresponsive lips. “So, I was thinking…”



“Ginny,” Harry cut her off. “I told you… I can’t do this, not now.”



She was unfazed. “Of course you can. Now Harry, since mum and that wont be here for another two hours, I thought I could give you your present before they got here.” She grinned at him, her breath warm and overly sweet smelling, like she’d been eating one of Molly’s many sugary sweets only moments ago.



Harry sighed, knowing his every effort would be futile, for he’d tried everything other than cursing or slapping her. Those final two options were sounding rather appealing, though he knew he’d never be able to do it. The poor girl was suffering the loss of a brother, and George wasn’t coping very well with the loss either, and it was weighing heavily on their whole family. It was a fragile situation and Harry didn’t want to cause any unnecessary hurt.



Ginny was still talking, though Harry has missed the last few sentences. “So, because of that, you need to get up off this sofa and I think we should go to your room.” Ginny stood, and tugged on Harry’s hand impatiently.



With a sigh, Harry got up and followed her, not listening nor paying much attention to her. He knew it was wrong, but there was nothing he could do to dissuade her without really hurting her. And the Weasley’s were the closest people Harry had to family, other than little Teddy, but what sort of godfather would he make? Harry had never been around babies or young children, and had no idea just what you were supposed to do with them or how to care for them.



He realised he was in his bedroom when Ginny pushed him to sit on his bed, before stepping away from him. He looked up at her with confusion, his chest constricting with panic when he realised just what she was about to do. It wasn’t the usual reaction a male would have to his girlfriend stripping, but Harry wasn’t a usual sort of person.



“Ginny, no, what are you…?” Harry gasped, but Ginny merely smiled and removed her t-shirt, revealing a plain-looking blue bra. Her skin was pale and only slightly freckled here, and her breasts were small but rounded. Harry shook his head again.



“Come on Harry,” Ginny smiled at him in a way she clearly thought was provocative and possibly sexy, leaning closer to him. Her fingers were pulling at the button on her jeans, and when it popped, Harry shifted further back on the bed. He was moving away from her, not inviting her to follow like she thought.



She pulled her jeans off, and Harry blinked when he realised she must’ve already taken her shoes and socks off without him noticing. Ginny was now standing in front of him in her underwear. She was thin, and pale, and softly rounded. Her hair looked shockingly red on her head, and the brown of her eyes was all wrong.



Harry was feeling numb. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t want to encourage her any more, not that he had been since Voldemort’s death, but then he didn’t want to push her away at a time when she was vulnerable.



A hand touching his groin through his jeans startled Harry out of his inner thoughts, and he jumped back uncomfortably.



Ginny smiled at him. “It’s ok Harry, I know you haven’t done any of this before, but you don’t have to be nervous. It’s just me, Ginny. I understand.” She cooed, and Harry shivered with unease.



She caressed him again, though it was obvious he wasn’t aroused, but there was only a slight amount of frustration in her eyes at his reaction. She changed tactics, crawling onto the bed on her knees, her small hands working to pull Harry’s shirt off. In a stupor of confusion Harry let her, unresponsive even as she removed his jeans. He was still obviously limp in his undershorts, and she rubbed at him again, leaning in to kiss him.



Her tongue was hot and urgent in his mouth, though the rest of her skin was chilled. It was cold inside his room; Harry’s own skin was covered in goose flesh, and uncomfortable. In his distraction, however, Harry realised with a bit of shock that he was getting hard from Ginny’s actions, and she seemed to take that as encouragement.



“No,” he pulled away from her kiss. “No Ginny, I can’t…”



“Nonsense, of course you can. See?” A small hand wrapped awkwardly around his almost entirely hard erection through his pants, squeezing slightly. A slight shock of pleasure stunned Harry momentarily, enough to distract him while Ginny removed her underwear.



The hair between her legs was only slightly darker than that on her head, and she was pulling his hand towards it. His stomach lurched when his knuckles brushed against hot, damp flesh, and that orange, coarse hair. Harry swallowed, feeling his arousal diminish, flinching when Ginny noticed and started rubbing him again.



With some obvious impatience Harry was rolled onto his back, and his pants were wrested from his person without further ado. His cock looked pathetic, half-hard, and Ginny’s frown reflected this. She climbed on top of him and kissed him again, sighing impatiently at his lack of response and moved down to mouth at his neck instead. Her breasts were soft and warm against his chest, but they didn’t make Harry feel like he could be aroused by them.



Ginny’s fingers wrapped around his cock again, and this time the skin on skin contact sent little sparks of pleasure shooting around his groin. His cock gave a mildly interested twitch and Harry was finally able to move, his hands grasping Ginny’s sides as he made to push her off.



Something stopped him, however. If he pushed her off, she’d get angry. And an angry Ginny was a terrible Ginny. She would get loud and offensive, and she would probably cry, and tell her brothers how horrible he was to her. Harry didn’t want to be the enemy any more than he wanted to be the celebrity. He supposed it was best to just let Ginny have her way.



So, with that in mind, Harry relaxed, closing his eyes. Ginny seemed to sense his acquiescence and smiled against his neck. Not a minute later and Harry stiffened as he felt that strange hot, wet sensation on the head of his cock and realised that Ginny was rubbing her… rubbing against him. Next thing the slippery heat increased, and continued to do so, until Harry knew that his cock was completely inside of… her.



It was torture. A revulsion Harry had never felt before began to coil in his stomach, and right along side it was another coil, this one of tingly pleasure. She moved above him, up and down, his cock hard and unyielding as she bounced. Wanting it to be over, Harry concentrated on the pleasure, not the source, and cried out aloud in surprise when his climax was suddenly upon him, though it wasn’t as satisfying as the climaxes he’d had in his sleep.



Ginny groaned above him, keening in unfulfilled frustration, almost growling when Harry’s rapidly deflating cock slipped from her. Harry breathed a sigh of relief that it was over, and tired to ignore the cold, sticky feeling at his groin.



Ginny slumped down on the bed beside him, with a huff of annoyance that Harry ignored.



“I’m sorry Harry; I shouldn’t be too hard on you. It was your first time, wasn’t it? Yes, of course it was. No, next time will be better, I promise.” She rolled towards his prone figure, smiling gently and Harry felt chilled.



Sitting up abruptly Harry checked his watch. It was already half past three, and now he needed a shower. So did Ginny too, probably. He muttered an excuse and dashed away, uncaring of his nakedness, locking the bathroom door and leaning against it breathing heavily.



So, he’d had sex, if that’s what he could call it. It was mostly one-sided, and unfulfilling, and there was no way Harry was ever doing it again no matter what Ginny said. No, he would ward the house against her. He would make excuses not to be alone with her. He would… be late, if he didn’t get in the shower right now.



~~



Ginny was acting her normal self once the rest of her family showed up, though Harry was still nervous. If Ron found out… no, he’d probably be happy, since he too got a bit wrapped up in Harry’s celebrity at times, at least when he wasn’t resenting Harry for it. This was the sort of situation that could inspire either response.



Andromeda came with baby Teddy, and Harry held the young Lupin awkwardly. The little boy liked to pull on Harry’s hair, while flashing his own hair every colour of the rainbow with a cute little grin. Harry’s heart seized when he realised this poor little boy would never know his parents, just like Harry. And Remus and Tonks would never get to see their boy grow, never know him, never talk to him ever again.



Harry swallowed, hoping no one would notice the sheen of tears clouding his eyes. Teddy seemed to sense his distress, and released the lock of hair he’d been happily pulling, snuggling in against Harry’s chest with a little sigh.



“Oh, would you look at that?” Molly whispered, drawing a few glances Harry’s way. “I think you’re a natural, Harry.” She smiled a watery smile, though Harry’s own tears cleared away quickly. Harry avoided Ginny’s demanding eyes.



A knock on the door distracted everyone, and Harry gently handed Teddy back to Andromeda. He was shocked when the door opened to reveal Hermione who, last he’d heard, had been in Australia tracking down her parents.



“Hermione!” He exclaimed, and was pulled quickly into a tight, desperate hug. “What’s wrong? Hermione?” Harry asked, sensing her distress.



“Oh Harry… I’m sorry, it’s your birthday. But I had to come, I… my parents, they’re not where I left them. I can’t… I can’t find them!” She was crying now, and Harry held her tighter. It wasn’t in Hermione’s nature to be drawn to tears so easily.



“Oh ‘Mione, I’m so sorry.” He gently led her into the house, drawing her up the stairs and into the library, away from the small crowd in the kitchen. He pulled her down on to the sofa, shivering at the recent memory of Ginny in this room.



“Tell me what happened, if you can.” He whispered gently, stroking her back with much more ease than he’d ever had around Ginny. The tickle of her impossible hair against his nose wasn’t repulsive, it was endearing, and Harry felt for her.



She re-laid to him the tale of altering her parents’ memory, of erasing her very existence, and inserting a strong desire to relocate themselves to Australia indefinitely. Hermione explained how she’d looked up maps and placed ideas of ideal living locations in their minds, and other such little things that would allow for her to trace them with relative ease.



“It’s almost like they’ve disappeared, Harry. No one has even heard of them, though the British consulate in Melbourne has record of them entering the country on the flight that I’d booked for them. After that, there were a couple of hotel reservations, and then nothing. They’re not using their bank or credit cards, or the mobile phones I set up for them. And I have no idea why! It should have all been perfect…”



Harry held her tighter, suddenly afraid. It was one thing to lose your parents to murder, but it was another to lose them when they weren’t even aware of your existence and were still alive (Harry hoped). He didn’t want to say anything to upset Hermione, but he needn’t have worried; she outlined all the possibilities she could think of, admitting that she was yet to check the register for births, deaths and marriages since she simply couldn’t bare it.



“I have to go back, Harry. But I needed to come home first, research a few things…”



Harry hugged her again. “I’m going with you. To Australia.”



Hermione pulled away from him suddenly. “Oh Harry, you don’t have to do that. You have so much here…”



Harry shook his head. “No I don’t. Look, I’m going mad here. I’m trapped, I really am. I can’t go anywhere without… well, you know.”



There was a spark of hope in Hermione’s eyes. “But what about Ginny? I though you two were working through things.”



Harry shuddered almost convulsively, and Hermione noticed. “No, no. I… can’t.”



“Are you ok Harry? You look, I don’t know. A bit green around the edges.”



Harry shook his head again. “I’m fine; it’s you I’m worried about. We have to find your parents Hermione, and I’m not leaving you until we do.”



The smile on Hermione’s face was uplifting. It was a nice feeling to be seen as a real person, and it seemed that at the moment only Hermione, and possibly Teddy, were the only ones who did.



Ron found them a short time later, though of course he wasn’t quite as sensitive as Harry had been.



“What do you mean you’ve lost them?” He had asked belligerently, and though it was flattering he thought Hermione could do anything, he made it sound insulting, and naturally Hermione fired up. They argued until Harry couldn’t stand it any longer, his departure thwarted by Ginny blocking the door way.



“Did I just hear that you’re leaving with Hermione?” She asked, tears of quite probably anger in her eyes.



Harry sighed. “Yes, I need to help her locate her parents and restore their memories.”



Ginny may as well have stomped her foot. “No, you can’t go. We’re finally making progress.” She said, the pitch of her voice rising alarmingly.



“Ginny, I’m sorry, but this is something I have to do. Hermione needs me, and when I needed her she never let me down. It wasn’t working between us anyway, I tired, I really did, but… I’m just not ready for a relationship.” His stance was defeated, he knew, and Ginny did seem to have that affect on him these days.



“How could you!” She screeched suddenly, putting a stop to Hermione and Ron’s arguments. “Typical! All you males are the same, you’ll string the girl along until you get what you want, and as soon as you get it, you dump them!”



Harry could feel Ron bristling behind him.



“It wasn’t like that Ginny,” Harry started, his heart thudding in his chest, the blood pumping faster with an emotion Harry recognised as anger.



“What wasn’t like what?” Ron interjected, uninformed as usual, probably jumping to the wrong conclusions. He was defending his sister, and that was noble, but sometimes he really stuck his head in where it wasn’t wanted.



“Stay out of it, Ron.” Harry said as calmly as he could manage. “Ginny, please don’t do this.” Harry asked, and saw a flash of something in her eyes, but knew the effort was futile as he watched the first tear fall.



“Please don’t do this? Me?” She screeched again, and Harry deflated further, retreating to a safe place in side of himself, letting his anger drain away. “You’re the one that’s up and leaving me, running off with her,” she spat unfairly at Hermione, sniffing loudly.



Harry sighed, but Harry was saved by Hermione. “I’m sorry Ginny, I told Harry he doesn’t have to come, but I really would appreciate the help and the company. It’s his decision, and maybe this is for the best. Can’t you see that he isn’t comfortable out there in the throngs of senseless worshippers?”



She would have continued, but Harry put a hand on her arm. “Thanks ‘Mione, but you shouldn’t have to do this.” He took a breath, and faced Ginny. “I really am sorry Ginny, but I need to do something. I can’t stay in this house, stuck like Sirius was, slowly going mad. And I refuse to subject myself to all those people and their opinions who don’t even know me at all. I’m going.”



Ginny’s face went red. “How dare you, Harry Potter. How dare you! I’ve been waiting for you for years, and you know that! So I’m good enough to sleep with, but not to stay with! Fine! Have it your way!” She sobbed loudly and ran from the room, banging the door shut behind her.



“What is this? You’re not seriously dumping her after what she said you did? Bloody hell, that’s… that’s…” His face and ears went red, and Harry braced himself.



Harry held up his hands. “It’s a long story Ron, but please, just this once can you not blow up? Can you just wait and listen…” Harry knew he’d said the wrong this right away.



“Can I not blow up? This is my sister we’re talking about!”



“I know!” Harry yelled back, ashamed that he was doing so. “I know okay! But I didn’t want to, I didn’t! I said no, and she kept pushing me…” Harry gulped, embarrassed that he’d said so much.



“Oh yeah, that sounds right. The girl forcing the bloke, yeah, that happens all the bloody time!” Ron said sarcastically.



Harry realised how ridiculous it would sound to anybody he told because the reality was that it did sound odd for a guy to be forced by a girl. And not only that, but he wasn’t exactly forced into having sex- Harry had resigned himself to his fate, for fear of Ginny’s wrath, but here he was on the receiving end of it anyway.



Their attention was caught by the door opening, and an angry looking Molly Weasley entering the room.



“What is going on in here? First I hear raised voices, then Ginny comes down crying, and now…” She broke off, sensing the tension in the air and seeing the disgruntled expression on her youngest sons face. “Oh, Hermione dear, you’re home.”



“It’s him!” Ron exclaimed, pointing at Harry. “I’m going home, and Ginny’s coming with me.” He stormed out of the room, leaving behind a bewildered Molly.



“I don’t know what’s happened, but I’m sorry Harry.” Molly placated.



Harry nodded, and after a quiet argument, got Molly to agree to taking everyone home and leaving him and Hermione alone. Harry said goodbye to the rest of the Weasley’s present, and gave Teddy an especially big hug.



There were more important things than his birthday, especially when he had a trip to Australia to organise.



~~



Hey! I just popped the first chapter up after the prologue, since the prologue is a little on the short side!!



So thanks for reading, and if you have the time, let me know what you think! ^__^