Mistaken Identity

Chapter 2 Letters

Most of the soldiers had eaten and a number of them were gathering outside assessing their supplies. Hermione peeked out her head from time to time to see if she spotted Harry.

Neville came back into the kitchen to talk to Hanna. He spoke quietly but his face did most of the communicating. His eyes twinkled and his smile was shy, warm and adoring as he blushed. Their hands, their fingers, were intertwined, caressing and playfully pulling as he asked her to come with him outside. As they were going out the door, Hanna turned and said, “Hermione, a soldier is asking for you.”

Hermione cleaned the fire soot off her hands with her apron and went to the door expecting one of the older leaders to be there asking for food to the trip. There she saw Harry by the huge fallen tree looking pale and nervous. A cold wave went through her and all she wanted to do was hide... away from him and what happened, but he saw her and it was too late. He took a step forward and waited.

Hermione forced herself to walk to him. She felt rage flare up inside her. Why did he have to hurt her, humiliate her; she felt tainted as she walked to her attacker. But his face didn’t look like an attacker, just the opposite. He looked wounded and guilty - there was nothing menacing about him. Why did he imply they were engaged? And what did he have in mind now, she wondered.

“You were looking for me?”

“Yes. Look, I’m sorry for attacking you last night. You have to admit it was an odd and unfortunate ...thing that happened.” He stepped toward her and whispered, concern in his face and tone, “You’re not going to do anything drastic are you? Like, kill yourself are you?”

“Heavens no, but I do feel the need to do this,” she looked around quickly and saw no one looking at them. She curled her fingers together making a tight fist and swung at Harry’s jaw. The impact surprised him making him fall and causing him to land against the dead tree behind him.

“Yes … all right” he blinked a few times and shook his head to clear his mind “Yeah, I deserved that,” nodding and then he continued, “look, we have to get our story straight.”

“Why did you change it? Why are we engaged? Why couldn’t we stay with the story you were sick and I stayed up with you nursing you back to health?”

“Because if the men think I’m sick they might leave me behind or, worse, wait a day or two to make sure I’m better and we’d be behind schedule with meeting the other armies. And thanks to Seamus half of them think I’m married or engaged so that’s the story we should stick to. I figure we go along with this for a few months until you find someone to marry and write me that’s it over.”

“Wait! That would make me look terrible. You find someone to marry.”

“Fine,” he said, clenching his teeth together, “I’ll find someone and pretend to fall in love,” Harry snapped at her.

“Fine!” she agreed with a cold smile.

“Well, I suppose I should write to you? Once a week?” Harry asked.

“All right!” Hermione answered, nodding.

“Oh, and I got you this. I know it’s not great but apparently more than half my men got married last night or this morning and the engagement rings were all gone,” and he pulled out a copper ring and un-ceremoniously put it in to her palm. Hermione looked at the ring as if it was something dead in her hand.

“Well, put it on, Mrs. Figg is watching.” Harry said, trying not to move his lips.

“Well you could have made a better show of it than just dropping it in my hand,” Hermione commented.

He rubbed his jaw and whispered. “And get another sock in the mouth, nah,” Harry protested.

“My anger needed a victim, and since I was yours last night. I just returned the favor.”

“Do you feel better now?” Harry asked as he looked around at the other young couples saying goodbye.

Hermione was surprised that it did make her feel better, much better, “Yes, I do.” Her rage had faded.

“Good. Since we are engaged for the next few months it stands to reason we should get to know each other and find some common ground so we have something to write about to each other.” Harry suggested. “Many of my men talk about their families, betroths and wives. I will need to have something to tell about you.”

Hermione nodded.

Harry stepped cautiously towards her and asked in a desperate tone, “Was there anything in my manner last night that you didn’t find repulsive?”

Hermione thought for a moment and said, “Before you… the way you talked about wanting to save the women and the fighting and you losing your friend. You seem to be a very brave and caring person.”

“But everything after that disgusted you?” Harry asked. Hermione thought for a long moment and blushed as she whispered, “The first kiss ... it was my very first kiss.” She looked at the ground, kicking some dirt. “I liked that.” Looking up at him, his eyes were wide with surprise and a hint of relief.

There was a whistle blowing for them down the street. “I have to go. I will write to you …Hermione…?” waiting for her to say her last name.

“Granger.”

“Hermione Granger… I’m Harry Potter.”

Hermione reached out her hand to his and he took it, shaking it and then slowly bowed down and whispered, “Mrs. Figg and Mr. Fudge are watching us again.” So he lightly kissed her knuckles. “Don’t forget to put on the ring,” he said as he stood up straight.

“Take care of yourself, Harry Potter,” she simply said.

“You too, Hermionee, Granger,” Harry said emphasizing the ‘nee’ as though he was setting it to memory and then he looked at the sign - ‘The Minister’s Inn.’

She watched Harry and the other soldiers walk toward the center of town. Hanna was in tears as she kissed Neville goodbye. Hermione walked over to Hanna, put her arm around the girl, looked at Neville and nodded with a smile as if to say ‘I will look after her.’ Neville smiled back with relief, waved and ran to catch up with the others.

Hermione put the ring on her finger, but it was too big.

~~~~

She melted some sealing wax to make the ring fix better, but with her working in the hot kitchen the wax melted away and she lost the ring for a short time the first day. Lavender found it in the fireplace.

That afternoon Hermione clean out the rooms putting fresh linens on the beds towels and clean water in the pitchers. She took the soiled sheets from Harry's room and her night gown and put them into the hearth setting them on fire burning all evidence of that night hoping the memory would turn to dust as the fire turn the sheets and gown to ashes.

Four days had passed without a letter or note for Hanna or Hermione from their wandering soldiers. Hanna was anxious to hear from Neville. Hermione kept her busy with the cooking and cleaning.

Finally that afternoon the owls came. Hanna was so excited her hands were shaking. Hermione was shaking too but not from excitement.. This was going to be the beginning of getting to know the man who took her virginity by mistake. Hermione slowly opened the letter, which was sealed with wax.

Dear Hermione,

I hope you are well.

We are marching through the forest towards the mountains. The path is a dirt road cutting through fields. Scouts have gone ahead for any signs of Deatheaters. We are meeting up with other fighters in a few days. If we predict rain, we will have to double our efforts and move quicker before the ground turns to mud, which will slow the men down.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Harry

She folded up the letter and put it in her pocket.

Hanna was reading hers, and was ohhing and ahhhing, and giggling with her post.

Hermione peeked over Hanna’s shoulder and glanced at the letter, My dearest love, it started... and Hermione felt a dull pain in her chest. She didn’t want to read anymore of it, but her eyes skimmed the paper. She read words...beautiful... long to see... miss you … heaven… soft …lovey… can’t wait… future... and family.

Hermione forced her eyes away as the words seemed to burn her pupils and dimmed her spirit. Mrs. Figg patted the both girl’s shoulder and said, “Ah, young love, so new, so passionate.” Hanna put the letter to her chest and sighed, nodding to the widow.

Hermione looked at her letter, or what was really Harry’s field report, and gave a weak smile to the two females in front of her as they looked curiously at her. Hermione let herself turn red from embarrassment hoping they would take it as a sign it was very personal and not ask what was in the letter.

“Later that day when she was alone in her room she wrote back and asked if the weather was good, was he eating enough and sleeping comfortably and dressing warm enough.

The next three letters weren’t much better, just more field reports with the third one containing some interesting news - Harry added that many of his men had gotten a rash from sitting in poison ivy and were putting cold mud on the rash stop the itching.

That afternoon she wrote to him when no one was around.

Dear Harry,

Since we are a betrothed couple, I feel I should get to know you better. Tell me about yourself and your family. Where did you grow up? What do you want to be? The people I work for are very curious too about you and what kind of family I am marrying into.

Hoping he would get the hint, she continued, ‘My name is Hermione Jane Granger. I lived with my parents until their murder a few months ago by the Deatheaters”

She wished she were a boy so she could join the fight against the evildoers. She went on telling him that she was an only child, where she had grown up, how she had wanted to own her own bookshop before she came to the Inn. She was muggleborn and felt for a very long time she didn’t fit in with muggles while she was a kid at school. She knew at a young age she loved books and learning and knew that most men wouldn’t have a wife who would sit and read most of the day away, instead of doing her duties; which is why most to the time Hermione didn’t mind not having admirers. She wrote she wished to travel and see Paris as she had seen pictures of it and always seem fascinating place to go.

She wasn’t sure how to sign her letter so she just wrote the truth… I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Hermione

PS. For the poison ivy oatmeal, simply boil up the oatmeal in water as you normally would. Let it cool for a few minutes, then apply warm to the rash applied until a thick layer forms. It will harden as it dries.

A few days went by and Hermione went out for a walk in the woods close to the Inn. It was getting cooler - the air was crisp, the leaves were changing color and the rain seemed to be on its way as she walked back. For a moment she heard a footstep, or rather hoof steps, behind her and spun around to see a few deer on the path fattening themselves up for the winter.

It was time for gathering the fruits and the vegetables from the farmers for the cold months ahead. Hermione gathered her own berries, nuts and wild vegetables from the forest just in case the winter lasted longer then they expected and put them in the cold cellar. She made preserves, jams, sauces and teas out of them. Nothing was wasted.

Hanna got her letter from Neville the next day. She blushed and giggled all the way through the letter. Mrs. Figg peeked over Hanna’s shoulder and asked, “How is your Neville doing, Hanna?” Blushing and twirling a loose blonde curl around her finger shyly, she sighed,
“He is doing well. They are marching north towards the mountains and he misses me terribly.”

Hermione only nodded; she couldn’t even smile. She was hoping Harry hadn’t forgotten to write her or at least write the one letter saying he had fallen in love with someone else so she could stop pretending to be engaged to him. It was uncomfortable that so many people kept asking how her betrothed was doing; her customers, the girls she worked with in the Inn and the people at the market all asked about her soldier.

One thing that made it was really bad was that Hermione kept on losing Harry’s ring, which left a green tint around her finger. It was very loose and it slid off her ring so many times. Hermione would have put on necklace had she had the money to buy something so frivolous.

She would put it in her pocket and forget it was there and it would find a way to separate itself from her in some way. It slid off her finger while she cleaned the dishes, the rooms, and while shopping for food. It ended up in the rolls she was making; it fell into the pint of beer. Luna, one of the girls who also found love that night and became engaged and was currently engaged in putting carrot greens in her hair as though they were flowers, warned Hermione,
“You must be careful with the ring. How you care for it is how he is doing now and how you will treat him later.”

Hermione dismissed that notion and continued her duties of cooking and cutting the wood. It started to snow after dinner and Hermione was asked to cut more firewood.

It was then she discovered she lost the ring yet again. She knew she would find it eventually so she just cut the wood up for the Inn as quickly as possible as the snow fell.

She was serving dinner to the lodgers when her finger felt ... strange … vulnerable… naked. She kept thinking about what Luna told her - that the way you treat the ring is how your fiancé is doing and what your marriage is going to be like. Hermione again shook the crazy notion off and served dinner, cleaned the dishes and packed the food away. She tried to settle herself into bed, but she tossed and turned for hours, getting little sleep and worrying if Harry was felt vulnerable and was in danger.

She threw off the covers and put on her robe, boots and coat. Lighting a candle, she woke Mrs. Figg and told her that she had to find her ring. The woman unlocked the door and let Hermione out. Hermione went down the stairs and into the kitchen where she started looking for the ring in the sink, the barrel of water, the fireplace and the oven. She was on her hands and knees when Hanna came down to help, as did Mrs. Figg. The longer it took them the more nervous and frantic Hermione became.

They looked everywhere. Hermione looked out the window and saw the snow had stopped. She told the other women to stay inside, that she was going get some more wood for the morning.

Hermione lugged piece after piece of wood into the Inn woodstove hoping it would be dry by morning. She was getting the last of the wood when her foot kicked something and she heard a ting. She dropped the wood at the door of the Inn and went back to the woodpile. There in the snow and wood chips was her copper ring. She put it on her finger and made a fist. And suddenly feeling very tired, she walked to the threshold of the Inn and gathered the logs she let fall and put them with the rest of the wood. Hermione showed the two women that she found the ring outside and they all headed back to bed.

Hermione woke up a little late but no one noticed. She put the ring in her shoe to keep it safe, but was very uncomfortable there so she found some string and tied it about her neck. Luna came in and as she drank down her tea and ate her porridge, she noticed the string around Hermione’s neck. She pulled one of her green ribbons out of her hair and gave it to Hermione. “Here. I think this will look better around your neck with the ring instead of the string. Have you gotten any news from Harry, will they be coming back here soon?” she asked, smiling. Hermione shook her head and shrugged her shoulders at the girl. Luna sighed and went back to eating her breakfast.

That day Hermione got a letter from Harry. It was heavier that the others and she was expecting it to be the letter he would write that he had found someone else; instead it was about him. He told Hermione all about his life. His name was Harry James Potter; James was his father’s name. His mother Lily was muggleborn like Hermione. He was fed up with his muggle relatives - his aunt, uncle and cousin who all hated him. That made him feel like an outsider, as he had been the only one in the house with magical powers until his godfather Sirius came and rescued him. He too was an only child and his parents were murdered as well, but by Lord Voldemort. That’s the reason he was fighting now. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do after the fighting was over. He wanted to start his own family. He saw nothing wrong with a girl who wanted to learn and read - in fact, it made her an asset to her family and the community. He liked to read books but as of late he was too busy traveling about and fighting, protecting villages and towns from Deatheaters.

Harry thanked her for the letter and apologized for not writing sooner but he didn’t have a lot of time to write and so he had sent it as soon as he could. Then it had snowed and he was stuck in it up to his shoulders and he had to dig himself free since his wand was in his boot. He thanked her for the remedy for the poison ivy. The men were feeling better now and she was their heroine, not him. He thanked her for the letter and told her that he hadn’t until now had anyone to write to except the other army leaders and his godfather. Her letters were something he looked forward to. ‘I hope you can write to me soon. Take care. Stay safe and warm and I will try to do the same, your Harry.’

Hermione noticed each time he had to stop writing the letter some writing was small and other was bigger and the texture on the page changed as well. He had written with something hard and something soft, making tiny holes here and there on the pages.

Hermione eyes were brimming with tears. She felt his loneliness and his loss from his family. He had no one else to write to really as a friend, to reach out to, but then she didn’t have anyone either.

She wrote to back to him telling him she had no family left and wasn’t sure if a girl in her position could get married, having no family tie connections, struggling to save money for a her future. But with the war people’s dreams had been smashed and no one was certain about the future. ‘I know for now I will stay with the Inn for as long as they need me or I need them and then I’ll move on, perhaps to London or one of the bigger cities where I can find employment and build from there.

’How is the fight going? I’m sure the Deatheaters are recruiting people especially prisoners. Have there been many casualties in the fighting? No one here gets any news from the battles and they are off in the others cities and towns. The older men walk around at dawn and dusk to see it anything is happening and so far we are safe.

’Hanna is constantly worried about Neville as is Luna is for her Rolf. Before now I only talked to Luna to see if she needed any more tea, now she is asking me how you are, and if you know if you will be coming back this way soon. Strange how a war can pull people apart and yet still bring others together. Please take care and stay safe. Your Hermione.’

She sent it off by pigeon right then. Hanna had a huge grin on her face as she walked into the kitchen the next afternoon.

“All right, I’ll bite,” Hermione said curiously. “Why have you got such a big grin on your face?”

“Neville and I are starting our own family,” Hanna blurted out elatedly and then let out a squeak of excitement.

“That’s wonderful! ” Hermione laughed out loud and threw her arms around the girl‘s shoulders. “Congratulations, Hanna!”

Hermione started dinner but as she did so she had an uneasy feeling, that she should look to see when she last had her menstrual cycle. She had to make sure she had enough rags to absorb the flow and the blackberry wine for the pain of the cramps. She should be getting it in two days, if she got it.

After dinner she cleaned up the food and kitchen and went for a walk in the woods to think. What if she was pregnant? She would most likely lose her job and board when her employers found out. It was late in the evening as she walked mindlessly and she found herself close to the Merry Mistress Inn. Perhaps they could help her? They must have something to stop her from being with child.

Feeling nervous, she went to the back door of the house and knocked. An old maid opened the door, looked at her and snapped, “What do you want?”

Hermione stepped back, a little frightened by sudden question.

“Minerva! You are going to frighten the girl,” another female whined and pulled the older woman back into the kitchen, then opened the door wider. She held the door open and waved Hermione in. “So what can I do for you? Looking for a job?”

Hermione shook her head, “No. I may have gotten myself into a jam.”

“Do you need money?”

“No. I think I might need... some help.”

“What kind of help?”

“Well I … you see… I’m not … a few weeks ago… not that I wanted…” Hermione stuttered out, her mind jumping, stumbling around like a drop of water on a searing hot pan.

“Slow down… Here, lets have a nice spot of tea and cookies and relax,” the young woman said, getting up and going into the parlor. The two girls sat down and sipped their tea for a few moments. “I’m Melinda Bobbin and you are?”

“Hermione Granger.”

“Well Hermione what can I help you with if not a job? ”

“I … I met a soldier… I mean I was with a soldier a few weeks ago… but not with him,” Hermione sighed and closed her eyes. “ A soldier attacked me, he forced himself on me, the one night they were here. It was a mistake. He thought I was someone else and now… One of the girls I know who married that night… She starting a family; she’s with child.”

“And … are you afraid you might be with this man’s child?”

“Yes. Well I’m not sure if I am with child. I can’t be, I just can’t be. If I am, I’ll lose my job and board,” shaking her head and wringing her hands.

“We usually drink tea that has herbs in it to keep us from getting in that way. But that has to be done before you are with the man. You need something different.” The girl went to the cabinet, pulled out a bottle, and placed it on the table. She got a piece of waxed parchment paper and scooped out a small but very thick glob of something purple from the bottle and patted it onto the paper. She folded the sheet up carefully and pushed it to Hermione.

“I’m giving this to you with the understanding that you use this only when you KNOW you are with child and you absolutely sure you don’t want it. I’m sure there is not time to tell the man who did this to you, if you even know his name.”

“Yes, I know his name.”

“Perhaps you should wait to see and tell him if you are with child. Maybe he will do the honorable thing and send you money or even marry you?”

“I should tell you that I was caught in his room in the Inn I work at and to save both our reputations we lied and said we were engaged,” Hermione told the girl.

“Why did you do that?” she asked.

“If I said he forced himself on me they would have told me I should have fought harder. They would have called me a fallen woman and I still would have lost my job.”

“It is the way of the world -we woman have the short end of the stick. I think ever since Eve we have been blamed for the plagues of the world. Men forget we give life and suffer while doing it. To them we are weak in body and mind.”

“You sound like you hate men.” Hermione commented.

“A man is fine. Men in a group show no sympathy toward women. They enjoy our bodies at night then call my kind dirty whore in the morning.”

Hermione heard something behind her and saw the other girls standing in the doorway.

They nodded and waved, then one redheaded girl came in and asked, “Is she a new girl? What’s her specialty?”

“No. She not looking to join us - just needs a little help right now.” Melinda relayed to the girls.

“Please! Tell no one what I’ve told you? Please,” Hermione begged Melinda and glanced at the girl.

Melinda smiled and said, “Of course. We all have our secrets. But if you ever would need a job don’t be afraid to come here. We could use a beauty like you or even if you want a job as a maid, or as hostess. Please feel free to come back. It is rare we get real visitors and the girls do crave friendship with other girls.”

The other girls came and sat down. Ginny, Bonnie, Cho and Annie talked about the war and how it was going. Hermione was pleasantly surprised on how articulate and how intelligent the women were. She soon found the conversation very enlightening. Hermione gathered that the soldiers talked a lot about battles and fighting.

The clock in the hallway chimed and Hermione realized that the time was getting very late and she should get back to the Inn. She thanked the girls for the great conversation and picked up the folded parchment. Hermione dug out a few coins out of her pocket and handed them to Melinda. The woman just gently patted her Hermione’s hand, shaking her head and said,
“Your friendship and good health will be payment enough.” Hermione hugged Melinda and whisper. “Thank you.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Two days went by as Hermione wondered if she should ingest the glob. The second evening it was answered for her. She had cramps and the flow of blood leaked out of her. She cried that evening in the bathroom. Partly relieved and partly guilty, but it didn’t matter - she wasn’t with child.

Harry sent her another letter. In it he confessed that she was the only one he could talk to. He had to keep a brave face for his men and it was wearing on him. ‘Hermione, my biggest fear now isn’t death for myself, but for my men. Each battle I fear we are going to lose more men; good men with families waiting for their return. I’m responsible if they don’t return home and it’s tearing me up inside.’ Harry poured his heart out in his letters to her. All his fears and regrets.

Hermione wrote back to him that hour, ‘Harry, they are your men because they trust you and I’m sure they feel they can’t trust themselves or anyone else. You have a good heart and a sound mind. Young men die during war but they are fighting for the good and they are fighting because if they don’t they will be killed as well as their family and friends. You have something in you that people trust and look up to. Trust yourself, Harry. Take care and stay safe and warm. Your Hermione,’ and sent it that hour.

The next day Hermione got a letter.

Dear Hermione

The Deatheaters are on the move. Please stay safe and if you don’t hear from me in a few days go to the riverbank. I’ll send you a letter in a bottle. Some of the pigeons are missing and I fear the Deatheaters are intercepting our letters and field reports.

Take care of yourself.

Your Harry.

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