A Taste of Heaven

A Taste of Heaven

Ch.1 Restless

Contrary to popular belief, studying is not my life.

Two days after the incident, Yes it will be referred to as the incident because I don't know what else to call it, I found myself sitting in the library with a charms text book in my lap. Of course I wasn't really studying, there was a Witch Weekly strategically placed inside the book so anyone passing by would not think to bother me because I was being so studious.

A shadow fell across the table and I looked up to meet the piercing blue eyes of one Pansy Parkinson. After the war was said and done, Pansy became a lot more civil and is now the girlfriend of the one and only Harry Potter. She and I quickly became friends. Good friends.

"I heard about the break up. Are you alright?" Her voice was low and concerned. It took two days for Pansy to find out, which either meant that Draco told her outright, she noticed that Draco and I were not really talking, or Lavender and Parvati were slow at spreading their gossip this week.

"You only 'break up' if you are actually a couple. We were never official." I kept my voice nuetral, bordering on uninterested. I really didn't need any sympathy right now. I'm not some stupid fourth year that didn't know what she was getting into.

"Well, you guys were exclusive for what? Two months?"

"Three." I replied absently, starting to read a story about a woman who fell in love with her husband's dead brother's ghost. Couldn't they have just said her dead brother-in-law's ghost? Really.. were all the extra words necessary? How do you fall in love with a ghost any ways? Were they intimate in some way? I wonder..

"Hermione put the damn Witch Weekly away and talk to me. I know you are upset. I know you love him." Pansy's voice was getting more serious and I could tell that if I did not turn my full attention to her there was a very good chance she would start yelling like a banshee and everyone would hear our conversation.

I slammed my text book shut and looked her in dead in the eyes. "Okay Pansy, what do you want me to say? I love him. I love him more than I have ever loved anything in my life and he doesn't want me. Do you know how that feels? I'm devastated. I'm heartbroken. I'm about to break down, but I won't. I can't. It won't do anybody, especially me, any good. I knew what I was getting when our little thing started. I knew that I would never be anything more than a fling to him. Do you know how hard it was to accept that and still fall so damn hard for him? And now, knowing that I probably will always love his stupid, arrogant ass, I have to accept the fact that he is going to move on to someone better. Find some perfect witch and marry her. Oh, I'm just bloody peachy!"

Pansy looked perplexed, "What are you talking about? Marriage?"

I rolled my eyes and reopened my charms book, "He kept talking about how his mother wants him to follow traditions and get married within a year of graduation and blah blah, long story short.. He is getting married to some pureblood trollop, I'm sure."

Pansy frowned, "He lied."

I furrowed my brows, but didn't answer. Pansy took my silence as a cue to continue. "He lied to you. You know Narcissa and although she is a bit stuffy and old-fashioned, she's not that old-fashioned. She likes you. She thought you were good for him. She wasn't pressuring him into anything. That lying little worm! I'm going to kill him!"

"What's done is done. He never actually said that was the reason he was ending things between us. He had been hinting at it for a few weeks, but that wasn't the direct cause of our... " I didn't want to use the word 'break up' that just wasn't appropriate, "..our... end."

I know I appeared calm and unaffected, but inside I was dying. He didn't need to lie to me. It was so insulting to think he felt the need to lie to me and I.. I felt defeated.

Pansy must have noticed for she squeezed my shoulder and left me alone to wallow in my own self pity.
I was pathetic.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I hated doing rounds at night.

I wasn't scared or anything like that, it's just.. I was exhausted. Especially after the week I've had. Draco and I had successfully managed to avoid anything awkward between us. Successfully because we were both avoiding each other like the plague. He made sure that when I was around our common room, he was not. We haven't had any prefect meetings and our patrols were already separated, so there wasn't really any need to see each other.

Well, except for our friends. Our friends now seemed to mesh together.. even Crabbe and Goyle was a part of our little group. It wasn't that big of a deal because I had kept myself mostly confined to the library during my free time. I'm not ready to face him in a friendly setting. Honestly, I'm not ready to face him at all.

Everyone was walking on eggshells around me. After I spoke to Pansy on Tuesday, it quickly became apparent that everyone knew that the Golden Gryffindor and the Slytherin Prince were no longer a couple. Although, we were never really a couple to begin with. Draco Malfoy doesn't do girlfriends. That just isn't his style. I furrowed my brow in thought and made my way towards the Ravenclaw tower.

I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. This whole Draco ordeal completely drained me. I was almost finished and soon I could go back to my room and sleep the entire weekend away. I turned the corner quickly, intending to return to my dorms when my heart jumped into my throat.

Draco Malfoy had a pretty blonde Ravenclaw pressed intimately against the wall. His hands were on her waist as if they always belonged there and he was whispering things in her ear, causing the girl to blush deeply. I had a fleeting recollection of the girl, but I couldn't place her name. I knew she was a sixth year and I also knew she was positively gorgeous.

I took a deep breath before clearing my throat. They both turned to look at me and Draco dropped his hands from the girl's waist.

I forced a smile on my face, but I knew it wasn't fooling anyone. "Drac..Malfo..," I hated stumbling over his name, but I wasn't sure how to address him. Were we back to surnames? He never called me by my first name unless we were being, well you know, intimate, but I had been calling him Draco for awhile now and figured I should probably just stick with it,"..Draco, I know you are a Head Prefect and are allowed to be about after hours, but your friend here," I gestured to the girl who looked pink with embarrassment, "Is not of age or a prefect and still under the strict rules and regulations of Hogwarts."

I couldn't look at him. I couldn't face him and see him looking at me with disgust or pity or whatever else he felt for me. I focused on his chest. "In the future, could you please refrain from doing your activities after hours or..," I bit my lip and contemplated whether or not I wanted to continue with my sentence. It's not like I could very well tell him what to do or whom to do it with. We were intimate many times after hours in many places in and around Hogwarts, ".. or.. find someplace less out in the open to do your... to spend your time."

I chanced a look at his face. He was studying me with an odd expression I had never seen before. Some emotion filled his eyes before he blinked and it was gone. He gave me a quick nod and I let the fake smile drop off my face before I turned around quickly and started making my way towards our rooms.

"Granger, wait up. I'll walk you back."

I frowned, but waited all the same. It seems I was a glutton for punishment. I jumped when I felt his hand on the small of my back, but he didn't say anything and just escorted me back to our rooms in silence. I was so distracted by the heat of his hand on my back. It was like I could actually feel his skin through my layers of clothing. I was upset that I could be so affected by his touch.

We were almost to the portrait that protected our common room when I stopped and looked at him. He turned around and gave me a look that clearly 'what are you doing?', but I didn't speak for a moment. I chewed my lip in contemplation before deciding to say what was bothering me. I knew that if I didn't get these feelings off my chest, I was definitely going to get angrier and angrier before I blew up at someone at a most unfortunate moment. Knowing my dreadful luck as of late, it would probably be some first year just asking for help or directions or something. Or, even worse, I would blow up at Draco during a prefect meeting and everyone would be privy to our business.

"You didn't have to lie to me."

My voice was quiet, but in the dead halls of Hogwarts it almost sounded booming. He looked like he was going to respond or ask what I was talking about, but I shook my head.

"Pansy told me that Narcissa isn't pushing you for marriage. That she actually liked and approved of me. For weeks you were making comments about marrying someone your mother wanted and doing your duty to your family. That's fine. I get it, but you didn't have to lie to me. I'm not some little girl with dreams of marrying you. I know where I stand with you and.. it's not by your side, no matter how much I wish it were. I know the marriage thing wasn't the reason you gave for ending whatever we had and I know I'm just not what you wanted. I guess, I'm just.. you don't have to lie to me. Ever. We are more than that."

I was staring at his shoes the whole time and chanced a glance at his face. He was studying me intently, but he didn't look like he was going to say a word. I quickly walked passed him and entered our dorms before heading straight to my room.

Hours later I was still awake in my bed. I was dead on my feet a few hours before, but now I was restless. Our one sided conversation kept replaying in my head and instead of feeling better, I felt worse. A distinct bubble of unhappiness was settling in my stomach.

I didn't know what to do.

A/N: Please Review...