Returning to you

Warning: This chapter contains HUGE spoilers from the HP books 3-7!... and has hardcore mansex ^_^

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PART 2 - HOME

Soon they were standing in the great hall of the ministry, feeling anxious to go as soon as possible. Harry was observed like always, people whispering around him, glaring him and stopping to stare at Sirius with frowns on their faces. Fortunately it had been too long since there had been any talk about him, so these people had no idea who they were looking at.

Hermione set them quickly off in the floo network portal after packing a few things for Sirius to take home. Sirius even had his wand. He had been clutching it in his hand when they had pulled him out of the veil. She advised them firmly to take it easy and to rest as much as possible. She also promised to keep Lily with her and Ron for the next few days so the men would have their privacy and would have time to think of what to tell the kids.
They both hugged Hermione, thanking her for everything, though both of them felt that mere thanking wasn’t nearly enough. But she still seemed so moved, seeing the men looking so at ease and happy together, than she had to turn away to wipe her tears when they finally stepped into the fireplace.

In a small moment they were standing in the kitchen at home. Harry’s eyes moved from Sirius to Kreacher, who the taller man was staring at with confusion. “I didn’t expect to see you here.” he said stiffly and Kreacher let out a horrified squeal. Harry stepped between them “He’s part of the family now,” he explainer to Sirius, then turned to Kreacher. “Sirius will be staying with us, so please be nice to him.”
The house elf stared at him for a while and then shuffled to the stove “Yes master. Would you like some dinner?”

Harry settled the eating arrangements with Kreacher as Sirius sneaked his way deeper into the house, poking his head into rooms and staring at everything with wide eyes. The gloomy feel of the house was gone and instead it was full of warmness and happy smiling photos that cluttered the walls everywhere. Almost all the rooms carried bits and pieces of the Potter family; old toy brooms, a real muggle television, piles and piles of books and drawings the kids had made.

Harry walked behind Sirius, observing him as the man took all this in. It must feel strange, leaving the house in such a morbid condition and then return, in what must seem like an instant into a completely changed house, into a changed life.
Sirius stopped in front of the big Black family tree wallpaper, observing a new stick figure James had drawn next to Sirius’s name when he was still a kid. Harry’s children had grown up listening to their parents tell amazing stories of brave witches and wizards and James had been so sad Sirius’s picture had been erased from the wall that he had wanted to make him a new one.

Harry walked behind Sirius and leaned against his back. Sirius jumped, clearly so deep in his thoughts that he had not known Harry was there. He turned and looked at Harry with a searching expression, touching his face again.
“Well, this is weird.” he chuckled. Harry just smiled back. Then, taking Sirius’s bag from his hand, he kissed Sirius carefully and as the man replied his kiss, he folded his arm around his hips and pulled him closer.
The bag dropped from his hands and they were just pushing each other towards the door when there was a horrible scream behind them and they turned around, both pointing their wands at a young house elf. Her bulging eyes were huge with shock and she was almost crying. Harry let his wand drop immediately and hastily touched Sirius’s hand with his so the other man would stop pointing his wand at the house elf. She was looking up at them with shaky hands, slowly backing away from the door, but stopped dead when Harry spoke.
“Sorry, we didn’t mean to scare you. He’s- er, moving in.” he pointed at Sirius and offered his bag to her from the floor. She took the large bag and held it tightly in her hands. “Where will he be staying?”
“Take the bag into my room.” Harry advised and the house elf turned around and hurried away.

Harry turned to look at the bemused Sirius. “The house is a lot more crowded than before.”
The long haired man grinned at him, looking slightly nervous and Harry laughed “Just wait when you meet the ghost in the attic. Albus got him as a present from a friend last Christmas.”

“Albus?” Sirius asked with a lifted eyebrow. Harry smiled “Ah yes, I didn’t tell the kids names yet. Albus is the middle one, he’s twelve. James is fifteen and Lily is ten.”
Sirius’s eyes seemed a bit misty all of a sudden “James and Lily” he whispered, then smiled sadly “I like their names. What did Dumbledore think when you named your son after him?”
Harry’s face went blank for a moment and then horror struck him. How was he going to tell about all the losses? About Remus? He had been Sirius’s best friend.
Sirius looked at him for a long time, studying the look on his face and then lowered his face. “He’s gone then?” he asked faintly and Harry stepped closer, touching his shoulder. Sirius let him touch him, folding his own hands protectively around Harry’s shoulders and continued with a low, shaky voice
“I should have known, you said you won, but losses cannot be avoided with a powerful enemy like He-who-Mu- Vo-Voldemort. But I never thought Dumbledore could be gone. Who else is… no longer here?” his eyes rose to meet Harry’s sad green ones, but the shorter man stayed silent.

He didn’t want to talk about it yet. He wanted to give Sirius time to grieve properly, but that time wasn’t now. Couldn’t be, he didn’t know how to tell it all. So he squeezed the mans shoulder and smiled faintly. “Let’s talk about that after dinner when we have more time. What would you like to do now? We have over an hour left.”

For a moment Sirius looked stubbornly at him but then his eyes turned downwards. “So, that many, huh?”

Then he dropped the subject and turned around to face the Black family tree again. Harry walked next to him and together they stood in silence for a while.
“It’s going to take a lot of time for it all to sink in…” Sirius whispered quietly. He was obviously thinking things over and looked very sad. “I mean, it was yesterday for me that we were fighting the Death Eaters. Everyone was well then, young and healthy. The biggest worry I really thought about, was the fact that I was locked into this house day in day out and wanted to see you.” he murmured.

Harry stepped in front of him. He had to be able to cheer him up. It wasn’t all grief and sadness! A lot of good had come from it all and Sirius needed to see that side of the world before hearing all the bad things.
“Let’s go out for a walk. It’s safe these days. You can run to your hearts content.” he said with a little too cheery voice and received an amused glance from Sirius. “Trying to cheer me up?” he asked and Harry, thinking about it for a while, nodded. Sirius laughed and then, suddenly, transformed into a large, shaggy dog, wagging his tail. He woofed loudly and sprinted out of the room. Harry laughed and followed behind.

Soon they were outside, Padfoot running on the wet pavement and Harry following behind, smiling widely at the obvious enthusiasm of the big dog. His steps felt lighter than in months. Soon Padfoot sprinted at him and started pulling him forward faster from the hem of his jacket. He had changed into muggle clothes on the way out.

They reached a close by park in a matter of minutes and Padfoot set out for a race back and forth the parks big lawn. There were trees scattered around the park and Harry walked under one of them, picking up red and yellow leaves. Suddenly he was tackled by Padfoot and fell onto his bottom in the middle of the leaves. The dog licked at his face and soon his eyeglasses were wet and crooked. Harry started laughing and grabbed the dog by his long fur, scratching it furiously until Padfoot curled into his lap and started purring loudly.
“I thought you were a dog, not a cat.” Harry laughed and Padfoot lifted his head, barking at him but wagging his tail. It felt strange to sense Sirius inside the dogs body, see the familiar eyes look up at him and know he was smiling. An old couple walked past them and glared at the grown man playing with his dog with disapproving eyes. Harry couldn’t have cared less about the glares as he let Padfoot roll them around in the middle of the multicoloured leaves.

Soon it had been over an hour and Harry knew Kreacher was waiting for them with food. So he urged Padfoot back to his feet and they raced back home trough the darkening streets. They were both sweaty and panting as they reached the door of Grimmauld Place and Harry threw off his jacket at to the hallway leading to the kitchen.
Padfoot transformed back into Sirius whose hands and feet were covered with wet gravel. He disappeared into the bathroom and Harry walked into the kitchen where a feast was waiting for them. When Sirius came back without his cloak, wearing only his (very well fitting) jeans and a black t-shirt, Harry was already eating, hastily.

The long haired man stared at him for a long moment, then sat opposite him, taking a plate from Kreacher and started to eat, much slower than Harry.
“What’s your hurry? You look like you haven’t eaten for days?” Sirius asked finally when Harry started to stuff the third steak into his mouth. Harry stopped, gulped and grinned, grabbing a glass of milk. “I haven’t been eating well for a while. But that walk-” he motioned with his hand and drank “-made me hungwy.” he said, his mouth full of food again. Sirius laughed.

***

It wasn’t like the thought wasn’t in their minds from the quick intimate moment in the closet, or even before that. From the moment they recognized each other.
The knowledge that now it would be possible, that there was no point in holding back any longer since both of them wanted it and both of them were adults. Now they could go all the way, they could claim each other, make love, as many times they wanted, as often as they wanted. And they both wanted. The looks they threw at each other, the touches that felt like fire and the kisses that seemed to consume them every time they were close enough for it.

But still, Harry was nervous. He had had sex with one single person during his whole life and Sirius was going to be his first man. And he still felt like a little boy around Sirius, who had always seemed very experienced. And the closet quickie had just proved it that he really was. Harry had no idea what to do, well, some idea, but it was sort of a hazy area.
Harry was sure Sirius was just as eager and excited as he was, if not even more. He had been from the moment in the closet, his every touch sending sparks of heat between Harry thighs and making him hard from a mere sound of his low voice, which made Harry even more nervous. What if Sirius found his manly, grown up body ugly? The closet had been almost completely dark. And what if it would be horrible, what if-

His thoughts were interrupted by Sirius, who was now looking at him intensely over the table. The pumpkin pie Harry was supposed to be eating was still on his plate untouched, his fork half way to his mouth, and he wondered how long he had been staring at it. He put the fork down to the table and faced Sirius. “I’m actually full already.” he pointed out.
Sirius lifted an eyebrow “I figured that out when you had been staring at your fork for five minutes.”
And then a grin spread onto the long haired man’s face “What were you thinking about? You had an interesting expression on your face.”
Harry really tried not to blush, but he knew he was crimson red. And mumbling something stupid. Then he just jumped up, he didn’t know what else to do. Sirius stared at him and almost laughed. Harry was pretty sure the only thing holding him back was Kreacher who had come to pick up their plates.

He looked at Sirius’s plate as the house elf lifted it from the table and found it empty. “I should- er, take a shower.” he said faintly and Sirius got up so quickly that the coffee cups on the table rattled. Harry laughed nervously. It seemed he wasn’t the only one feeling nervous.
Not that it was helping him feel any better. Was Sirius planning on joining him in the shower? The thought made his heart race and his cheeks flush even deeper red.
“You can wait here.” he said hastily and Sirius blinked, then sat back down slowly. He smiled faintly up at Harry and said nothing, looking slightly disappointed and sad.
“I’ll be right back.” Harry said nervously and hurried to the door. He got outside the kitchen before he felt a horrible urge to go back and explain to Sirius that yes, he wanted him to join him in the shower but that he was too nervous and things were moving too fast.

He stopped on his tracks and turned back, looking around the doorframe into the kitchen.

He found Sirius staring at the empty table with a frown on his handsome face. His hands were on the table in front of him, his fingertips white. Harry stepped closer and Sirius looked up at him, seemingly surprised to see him back already. He looked so sad that Harry’s heart ached. He sat next to the long haired man on the long bench and leaned closer to whisper into his ear. “I need to wash up. I don’t always look like this” he stroked his messy hair back and chuckled. Then he was serious again. “I wish I could invite you with me.” Sirius’s grey eyes seemed to light up “But I- you- I mean, I can’t- not yet.” he said nervously and Sirius smiled lightly, reaching for his messy, dirty hair. “I understand. We have time. This time-” he looked meaningfully at Harry “-this time we really do have time. I’ll wait for you here.”

Harry nodded and stood up, hurrying out of the room. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to drag Sirius after him into the shower.

***

After about fifteen minutes he was looking into the mirror of the bathroom, rubbing at his hair desperately. He had shaved his stubble away and was now trying to get his hair into some sort of order, but it refused to settle down. He sighed heavily and looked into the mirror once more, folding the towel over his hips a little tighter. Then he hurried back downstairs.

Sirius was still sitting on front of the table, Kreacher sitting opposite him. Neither of them was talking, they just stared at each other as Harry stepped in. Kreacher stood up immediately and shuffled out of the room, carrying bread with him. Sirius turned to look at Harry and did a funny little jump as he discovered the other man half naked in front of him.
Then his eyes widened and he seemed to loose his composure, forgetting that Harry was looking back at him.

His eyes travelled up Harry’s well formed legs and thighs and over the draped towel on his hips, following the thin path of dark hair rising up his lower stomach all the way up to his navel. His eyes moved up his lean stomach and flickered to his chest, staring at his nipples.
As he reached Harry’s chin, the jaw he had been keeping shut not to openly drool on the kitchen table, slackened and he gave a small groan.
Harry’s freshly shaven, youthful face was looking so good that Sirius wanted to wag a tail he didn’t have. Finally he looked into Harry’s deep green eyes and glanced at his hair that the man had tried to get into order and that was still all over the place, making him look not only drop dead gorgeous, but also adorable.

Sirius couldn’t stand up. If he would, he would fall over, he was sure of that. He felt more exhausted than he had been all day, his muscles suddenly all too tense and his cheeks feeling too warm. Not to mention all the heat packed between his legs, making him so hard that he was sure he would cum in a second if he moved. Or did anything. At all.
…Oh how he wished Harry would drop the towel from his hips and would sit on his lap right here and now.
He was just about to ask him to do just that, when Harry raised his hand to rub at his still moist hair, looking very embarrassed. “Well, I’ve never felt this naked before…” he chuckled and Sirius woke up from his erotic musings. “Uh, sorry.” he said, grinning sheepishly.
Then Kreacher walked back into the room and Harry stepped backwards, flicking his head to the side to sign Sirius to follow. Instantly he stood up, cursing his state, that he was sure was very obvious to Harry as the man observed him, moving closer. And yes, Harry’s eyes brushed his crotch briefly and his cheeks turned red. He turned away and led Sirius up the stairs.

Quietly they walked up to the second floor, Harry leading the way until they reached the corridor where Sirius’s old room was located, and that’s where Harry led them. Sirius’s eyes were huge as he opened the door into his old room. “This is where you sleep?”
“Yes, ever since Ginny died, it’s been my room.” he answered, stepping aside to let Sirius in. “Of course if you want your room back, I can move to another one, there are plenty of rooms here though I was hoping we could… share” he said nervously, and Sirius, whose gaze had been wondering around the room, turned to him.
“Harry. I wouldn’t let you out of this room even if you wanted it.” he laughed. “It’s now our room.” he said firmly and happily Harry nodded, though the thought made him very nervous.

Sleeping in the same bed with Sirius every night sounded like the most blissful thing ever, but it also included the fact that they would actually be in the same bed together and he- well, the thought made him extremely nervous… and excited. So excited in fact that he wanted to throw his towel to the floor and drag Sirius to test the mentioned bed right away, but the other man seemed to be so occupied with everything in the room that Harry stood still and observed him, studying his profile.

Sirius was looking at the walls of the room with interest. He walked closer to the clutter of photos that were covering at least half of the walls. “You’ve removed the Gryffindor colors.” he pointed out half heartedly. Harry nodded, even when he knew Sirius couldn’t see the slight movement. “Yeah, it wasn’t fair to keep them when the whole family is not in Gryffindor.”
Sirius’s head spun around to stare at him with shock. “What? I was sure both of the boys would be Gryffindors”
Harry smiled at him. He was happy Sirius remembered it was his sons who were in school. He walked closer. “Al is a Slytherin.” he said airily and stepped to the wall, ready to point out their photos but Sirius stepped in front of him, his eyes flaring. “Slytherin? Your son is a Slytherin?”
Harry laughed. “Yes, Albus Severus is the first Potter in Slytherin.”
Now Sirius’s eyes were bulging out of his face “Severus? You named him after Snivellus? What the hell has happened?”
The look on Harry’s eyes softened, but he sounded firm as he talked again. “Snape was always on our side. He was- incredibly brave.”

Sirius blinked and blinked again and then his mouth closed. “Okay. I think you will have a lot of things to tell me…” he mumbled as his gaze moved to the photos finally. Harry pointed out his sons and Lily from the family portraits. “Lily is the youngest one. She isn’t in school yet so you’ll get to meet her in a few days. She’s really smart and brave… and mischievous. Too much time spent with Ron and George.” Harry smiled and pointed at James. “And this is James. James Sirius. He’s the serious one, not at all like you.” Harry chuckled and then glanced at Sirius to see his reaction.
“What! Sirius?” Sirius barked and turned from the photo to Harry and then he grinned, his eyes glazing wetly again. “Well… damn.” he whispered and turned back to the photo. “You must have told him something about me then?” he asked, grinning shyly as he stared at the photo.
“I’ve told all the kids everything about you. How brave and misunderstood you were and what a great man you are. And all about your death; they were always scared about that story, but wanted to hear it again and again. You are a hero to them.” Harry said and Sirius was blushing, laughing nervously, unable to answer with anything smart.

Sirius stayed gazing at James for so long that finally Harry’s eyes went narrow. “He’s the same age as I was when-“ he said slowly and Sirius turned to look at him with questioning eyes. Then he seemed to realize what Harry was thinking and hurriedly he waved his arms. “I wasn’t looking at him like that, for Merlin’s sake Harry! He- it’s just that he looks so much like James.”
Harry relaxed. “So you don’t have a fetish for young boys then…” he mumbled and Sirius looked offended.
“Oh come on! I know you were young, but I never- we didn’t do anything for just that reason. I wanted to wait. It wasn’t your age, it was the fact that it was you. I fell in love.” Sirius almost yelled and then stopped abruptly as Harry’s face turned deep red. They stared at each other for a long time in silence before Harry talked again.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I know you really-“ his face was even more red, if possible “-loved me.”
“I still do. Harry, you are the love of my life.” Sirius’s voice turned ragged. “It was worth sitting those twelve years in Azkaban to finally meet you and then get lost in a veil for twenty two to get you back. Finally, to myself.” his hand reached for Harry’s cheek and pulled him close. Harry stumbled lightly as he stepped closer.

Suddenly his legs felt like they were made of jelly, and his whole body was heating up, his brain refusing to work properly.

Then Sirius’s arms were folding around him and holding him up. Harry let out a deep sigh as he let his body melt against the other mans. His hands ventured down Sirius’s back and settled on his waist. He stared into the grey serious eyes and swallowing hard, opened his lips. “I can’t believe we got this second chance to be together.” he said quietly and Sirius stroked his cheek softly.
“I’m really nervous.” Harry soon added as the other man stayed quiet. He laughed giddily and Sirius smirked “Really, I didn’t notice a thing.” he said sarcastically, his hand suddenly venturing around Harry’s waist and slowly loosening his towel. Soon it was on him only because Sirius’s body was pressed so tightly against his that it couldn’t drop.

Harry’s brain shut down and he could only stare at Sirius, his lust rising tenfold as he felt the mans callused hands stroke his bare lower back, slowly moving lower and lower. He pressed against Sirius, feeling his bulging arousal press against his and gasped.

He couldn’t remember when he had been this aroused before.

Suddenly Sirius started to push him backwards and soon they thumbed against a wall. The photos behind Harry’s back clattered. Then Sirius’s eager mouth was on his and they were kissing heatedly, their hands roaming all over each other. Sirius slipped his hand between them and finally the towel dropped. His hand reached for Harry’s arousal and found it, stroking him slowly, much gentler than before. Harry’s legs buckled under him once again and he groaned, his forehead dropping against Sirius’s and his hands keeping a firm hold of Sirius’s hips.

Sirius’s other hand slid down Harry’s lean upper body, studying every inch of his skin slowly. His eyes were concentrated as he looked down. “You’re really thin. I can see you’re still not eating properly.” he whispered, his fingers sliding along the faint lines of Harry’s ribs and Harry laughed heavily. “Now you sound like a godfather.” he was having difficulties keeping his voice even and had to thrust into Sirius’s hand. The long haired man just smirked, glancing up and then turning back to his adventure down Harry’s body, still stroking him slowly, torturing his body into such a state of arousal that made Harry’s eyes slide shut and his breathing turn into panting. His legs opened more as he tried to balance himself against the wall. He hoped they had been on the bed but he didn’t have the strength or will to push Sirius away and suggest it.
“You are really beautiful Harry. All grown up, and still you look so young. You’re damn hot!” Sirius purred, kissing his collarbone.

Harry blushed once again and laughed nervously, opening his eyes just enough to glance at Sirius under heavy lids. “Not anywhere nearly as hot as you. You’ve always been the most handsome man I’ve ever known.” then his own words caused him to blush even more. Sirius was glancing at him with an amused grin on his slightly flushed face. “I hope I’ll measure up to your expectations. You’ve never seen me naked.”

Harry stared at him, panting hard and trying to collect his thoughts as he reached for Sirius’s hand and made it stop. “I want to see.” he whispered heavily and Sirius’s eyes widened. Then, before Harry could do anything, the long haired man was leading him onto the bed and sat him on it. Harry gathered the blanket over himself. He felt very naked.
Sirius stared at him for a while, frowning and then reached for the blanket, pulling it away. “Don’t cover yourself.” he said with a voice that sounded like a plea. Harry dropped his hands nervously next to him on the bed and nodded. His fingers twitched.
Sirius stepped away and tossed his t-shirt onto the floor. Then he turned to face Harry and stood still as Harry studied his body.

He reached his hand at Sirius and the man stepped closer, letting him touch. Sirius was still very thin and had tiny scars all over his body, probably from the days of Azkaban, Harry thought as his hand moved to touch the pale skin. There were a few fresh bruises and cuts on his arms and neck that he knew were from the fight twenty two years ago. Harry slid the hand up his stomach and stroked his chest, feeling the black, faint hairs there. He reached for Sirius’s lean arm with his other hand and touched a dark bruise there. Sirius didn’t flinch. Then Harry’s hands were sliding lower along Sirius’s abdomen, his lower stomach, along the dark hair there, soon touching the band of his jeans.
The hand moved still, hesitating only momentarily. He moved lower, cupping Sirius’s erection with his palm over the jeans. The tall man’s breath quickened lightly. His hands settled on Harry’s shoulders, squeezing.
Harry’s own organ twitched between his legs and he let out a nervous sound.

Sirius’s eyes were soft as he looked down at Harry, his gaze loving but serious as he leaned down to give Harry an overwhelmingly passionate kiss. Harry didn’t even realize he was falling backwards, pulling Sirius with him onto the bed. The man didn’t hesitate but followed, pushing his knee between Harry’s thighs and rubbing his naked erection with his hips as his body pressed against Harry’s.

Harry’s heart was racing. Nervousness and excitement were battling in his mind as he responded Sirius’s kisses, stroking him trough his pants. Sirius thrusted against his hand a little bit harder with every stroke.
Then the dark man whispered against his lips, his voice ragged and lustful.
“Gods I want to fuck you.”

And Harry whimpered. And blushed. And then Sirius was staring down at him as Harry slumped on the bed, his hand still gripping Sirius’s hard on but not moving anymore.
Oh dear Merlin. It was really going to happen? He felt panic blur his mind and tried to say something, but nothing intelligent came into his mind. Sirius was still staring, observing his eyes and finally reaching for his eye glasses. “Can you see anything without these? Can I take them off?”
Harry nodded. He didn’t trust his voice, he was afraid he would squeal if he opened his mouth.

Sirius removed the glasses and Harry focused his hazy gaze back to the man when he moved closer again after placing the glasses on the bedside table.
“Calmed down a bit?” he asked, grinning sheepishly. Harry blinked. Had Sirius noticed his horror?
The taller man laughed with his low voice. “You tensed up completely. And stopped breathing.” he stated like he had heard Harry’s thoughts. The shorter haired man tried to laugh back, failing miserably.
“I didn’t know it was so obvious. I’m sorry.”
Sirius frowned and leaned closer, his elbows pressing close to Harry’s ears and his hands burrowing into his hair. “Why are you apologising? If we’re going to be in a real relationship-“ he smirked lightly “-like adults. We need to learn to talk about everything. Even when we feel embarrassed.”

Harry sighed and closed his eyes, then opening them and staring at Sirius with new found determination. “Well I am embarrassed. But I want this. Oh Merlin, I’ve waited for twenty years for this, so it’s a bit… well, I have some expectations. And what if I suck, completely suck? What if you get nothing out of it?”
Now Sirius laughed. “Get nothing out of it? Harry, we’re in bed together, almost naked and you’re afraid I’ll get nothing out of it? You’re crazy!”
Harry had to laugh back, though his laugh was still a bit forced. He was starting to relax again. This felt familiar and good, he tried to ignore the fact that they were about to have sex.

Sirius kissed the tip of his nose and then sat up between harry’s legs. “Would you be any less nervous if you would be the one doing the… love making?”
Love making. Sex. Having sex with Sirius. Eeek!
Harry felt faint. “Uh, I don’t know.”
That was clever. He looked embarrassed and Sirius looked at him with amusement, but his smile was soft and caring.

“Sit up, will you.” Sirius suddenly said and pulled Harry to sit, getting up and sitting next to him on the bed. Then he was opening his pants. Harry really felt like a little boy. He wanted to avert his eyes but at the same time he had to look. He almost started to fiddle with the sheets, but kept his hands firmly on his thighs.
Sirius opened his fly and pushed his pants down to his thighs and kicked them to the floor from there. And then he was naked. And of course Harry couldn’t turn away anymore. He stared shamelessly down Sirius’s body, his eyes finally locking on his penis, his long, thick, beautiful penis that was right there in front of Harry.
He didn’t even think as he was already reaching for it and touching it with his fingers carefully and then folding his hand around the shaft and stroking slowly.
He was sitting on his knees in front of Harry and lifted himself slightly up as harry stroked down, sat down as he stroked up.

Okay, now Harry was starting to feel like he really wanted to have sex. Who cared about embarrassment when you were in bed with the sexiest man on the planet?

He leaned closer and reached for Sirius’s cheek, pulling him closer for a kiss. The taller man almost stumbled as he reached for Harry, balancing himself, both of his hands on Harry’s thighs. His legs were spread and now he was thrusting wildly into Harry’s hand. He growled softly, sounding almost animalistic.

After a while Sirius seemed to feel like Harry had had enough time to think things over and, as delirious Harry’s stroking made him, still managed to talk almost normally.
“So, what do you want? Tell me.” he whispered, kissing Harry’s ear, moving on his knees closer until he was sitting between Harry’s spread legs. Finally he was able to touch him with his strong hands. Harry’s body arched against his hand as it travelled along his lean body, finally stopping on his waist. Harry stopped stroking him, though Sirius doubted he even noticed it himself.

Sirius let his fingers slide downwards agonizingly slowly. Harry’s mouth dropped open and he panted, shivering as the fingers touched nerves. Sirius glanced at him and then leaned down to lick his nipple, his tongue swirling around it. He sucked it, bit tenderly and rubbed the other one between his fingers. And Harry was arching into his touch, trying to keep quiet and unable to do so.

“Want to- ah, make love.” Harry moaned needy, his body moving on it’s own accord. Sirius took a firm hold of his hips and held Harry at place. He smiled softly at the flushed, extremely turned on Harry and the fingers of his other hand touched his eyebrow, right below the famous scar.
“You want to make love to me?” he asked and Harry nodded slowly. Sirius replied with a nod of his own. “Alright.”

Harry was still nervous but stronger emotions were taking over and he no longer cared. He wanted to get closer to the man of his life, his soul mate who he thought he had lost for all time. He stroked Sirius’s cheeks with his thumbs and looked deep into the man’s eyes and nodded again.

Without a word Sirius moved backwards and Harry scooted himself almost to the edge of the bed. Harry helped as Sirius lifted his long legs over Harry’s and sat almost onto his lap. As feminine as this position was, Sirius didn’t seem to be bothered by it as he grinned slightly at Harry, his hands travelling up his lean body, tickling his skin with feverish touches. Harry moaned, his muscles convulsing under the touches.

Harry kissed Sirius’s chest, his hands moving on the warm skin, touching the small scars and marvelling his beauty. Sirius was thin and his body was perfect but full of memories of battles and days in Azkaban. As Harry looked up, his long hair was hanging over his shoulders and hiding half of his handsome face, but Harry didn’t remember ever seeing him looking this good. Maybe it had something to do with the man sitting on his lap, their cocks pressing hard against each other and their bodies so hot and tense from passion that he could almost feel the electricity flashing between them.

But he wasn’t the only one observing. Sirius was looking at him from above, his eyes travelling down his body and his hands travelling down his arms.
“By Merlin, you have turned into such an incredibly hot guy!” Sirius laughed out finally, leaning over Harry, kissing his lips softly.
“Yeah, er, I’m actually older than you now.” Harry smiled shyly back and Sirius let out a mockingly horrified gasp. “Oh my.” he said and reached for Harry’s neck. Soon the kiss turned more heated, more passionate and Harry felt Sirius’s body ground against his.
“So, old man-“ Sirius panted between kisses “-be-“ kiss “-gentle-“ kiss “Mmmm- with me.”
Sirius broke the kiss and lifted his face to look at Harry.
“It’s been a long time. I mean, obviously I had nobody in Azkaban and after that I met you so I didn’t want anyone else…”

Harry smiled gently back and nodded. He would have never even considered hurting Sirius.
Then the man’s small smile turned wild. “We need lube.”

Harry reached for his wand from the edge of the night table. Sirius offered it to him easily, pressing his chest against Harry’s face in the process. Harry didn’t mind, but kissed the warm skin. Then the wand was in his hand.
“Accio lube” he whispered and soon a bottle of oily lotion zoomed from the bathroom, knocking the door open for a second. Sirius barked out a laugh as he grabbed the bottle from the air, immediately popping it open and pouring a large amount of it on his hand.
Before Harry could do anything, Sirius pushed him slightly backwards so Harry had to balance himself on his hands. And then he was stroking the lotion onto Harry’s cock, moved himself over his erection, grinding his buttocks against it. Harry groaned and watched.

He turned to look into Harry’s green, wide, shocked eyes and smiled as he slowly sat down on his cock. His eyes were shut and he was breathing evenly. Harry squeezed the sheets into his hands and tried hard not to move so he wouldn’t hurt Sirius. The taller man moved down agonizingly slow on him, rising up a bit every now and then and then pushing back down, easing himself on top of Harry.

Then it was all the way in. Sirius flinched and then sat down, relaxing, still breathing deeply. Slowly he opened his eyes to look down at Harry.
Harry blinked up at him. He couldn’t believe he was actually inside Sirius. His body pressed snugly against his and his cock buried deep into his sweet tightness.

Then Sirius moved and Harry’s grip on the sheets tightened and his legs almost cramped. He groaned as Sirius pulled himself up so much that his cock inside the man was almost completely out, then he sat back down, so quickly that Harry let out a gasp. He repeated the movement once, twice, settling on a fairly quick pace, his hands resting on Harry’s shoulders, fidgeting lightly every time Harry thrusted up into him with every Sirius’s downwards push.
“Ah, Oh, Harry, uh, so good-“ Sirius panted out soon, tossing his head back, his hair falling off from his face. Harry thrusted just a little harder into the man on top of him. Sirius groaned and panted, his lips parted.

“H- harder.” he moaned, his fingers on Harry’s shoulders squeezing. Harry groaned, no longer able to hold back, so he did as told and thrust his hips up with force. Sirius pressed against him, letting out a small sob. Instinctively Harry reached for his face with worry and his balance slipped. He fell on his back to the sheets and Sirius’s hands on his shoulders pushed him all the way down.
Now that Sirius had more space to move, he started moving faster and harder, pulling Harry deeper into him. Harry stroked his cheek and Sirius pressed his face against his palm, kissing it as another sob escaped his lips.

Then his face lifted up. His eyes were wet with tears but the look on his face almost made Harry come that instant. Sirius was so deep in pleasure that his eyes were hazy and his lips were curled into a small smile that slowly, right in front of Harry, started to remind a grimace more than a smile. His cheeks were red and felt hot against Harry’s palm. But the man was obviously not in pain, far from it.

Then he started to pant loudly. Though Harry was pretty sure he was letting out some noises too, he couldn’t really tell what, all the movements above him were too distracting and his body was so on edge that he could no longer see, hear or feel anything beyond Sirius.
Sirius pulled up, sitting back down immediately. And back up. Down. Up. Fast. Feeling so damn good he couldn’t think about anything anymore.

Concentrating on the feeling alone, Harry let his upper body relax and just watched as Sirius worked.

Suddenly Sirius bend down closer to him, his arms sneaking around Harry’s shoulders, hugging and riding his cock hard. Harry returned the hug, holding the mans face in his hands as he felt Sirius’s long fingers fold into his hair.
Sirius groaned against his neck, panted and moaned over him, his body thrusting down to meet his cock eagerly.

And then they were both right on the edge. So close, every second building another layer of pleasure into their bodies. Harry whimpered. Sirius almost cried out, his moans turning louder and louder.

His panting sounded like barks. His fingernails were pressing into Harry’s scalp. Harry pressed his forehead against Sirius’s shoulder, listening to his loud heartbeats and his even louder moans and barks and howls. And then Sirius came and the sound of his voice as he whispered Harry’s name was the most erotic thing Harry had ever heard. It was low and painful and so thick with pleasure that Harry would never forget it.
He felt his own pleasure built up inside him as Sirius quivered around him, his inner muscles tightening around his cock. And he lost it. With a groan he came inside Sirius, squeezing him tightly into his arms and crying out his name.

The room was quiet and the smell of sex was thick in the air. They were breathing heavily, clinging onto each other lovingly, both wearing a funny little smirk on their faces. Sirius lifted himself enough to kiss Harry and he returned the kiss with passion and love and devotion.
Soon Sirius drooped his head tiredly against Harry’s messy chest, chuckling. “That was worth the wait.” he said, glancing at Harry and got rewarded with a shy smirk. Sirius let out a groan as he sat up enough to let Harry slip out of him. They were both a total mess. Harry’s stomach and chest were streaked with Sirius’s cum and the sperm inside Sirius was flowing down his thighs but he didn’t seem to mind. Harry searched for his towel but saw it on the other side of the room and decided to forget it as Sirius fell on the bed next to him, his arm hanging loosely over Harry’s naked chest.

Harry reached out and tickled Sirius’s side with his fingers lightly and Sirius looked up at him.
“I think we should practise often.” Harry said seriously and Sirius lifted his eyebrow. “Oh really?”
“Yes. I never graduated from school, but I don’t want to fail in this.” he said, still sounding completely seriously. Sirius burst out laughing.

***

They had been laying on the bed for at least half an hour talking trivial things with hushed voices before either of them had the energy to move. Harry found two long robes from his closet and tossed the other one to Sirius who let it slide down the edge of the bed, staring at Harry as he moved around the room, still naked. They were both smiling, glancing at each other every now and then and finally Harry walked back to the bed, pulling the robe over his shoulders. Sirius seemed disappointed by the loss of a naked Harry.
“I’m hungry.” Harry said quietly, ruffling Sirius’s tangled, long hair and gave him a deep kiss before walking to the door. “You want anything?”
“You, with chocolate sauce.” he winked and Harry walked out of the room, laughing.

The kitchen was empty, it was beginning to be late and Kreacher must be resting already. He was getting old. Harry trotted to the refrigerator and opened the door, pulling out a flask of juice and some left over breads with toppings of sausage and vegetables. Then he walked hurriedly back, finding Sirius observing the photos on the walls again.
Harry set the food on the bed and was about to walk to Sirius, who was hugging himself on the other side of the room.

He was still naked and seemingly shivering, though Harry was afraid it wasn’t from the cold. Sirius’s eyes looked immensely sad, glowing in the soft light of his wand as he turned to look at Harry. Harry stopped in the middle of the room, staring behind Sirius at the photos he had been staring at. He felt cold.

Then Sirius spoke with a low voice and Harry’s eyes were drawn to his.

“There are photos of everyone. The walls are so full of memories that I never got to experience.”
He pointed behind him to a photo of Remus and Tonks kissing and laughing. He had gotten that photo from his godson Teddy, Remus’s and Tonks’s son who was now already a grown man.

Sirius waved his hand around the wall, looking at the other pictures. “This part of the wall… is for the dead.” he whispered, his voice almost failing “Dumbledore, me and your parents are here. Even Ginny. And-“ now he was almost choking, his naked body seemingly shrinking down under the grief “-Remus.” He swallowed before continuing. “There are no new photos of Remus. No Tonks. But they are here, in several old ones. They have a child, but there are no pictures of them growing that child up. This is him, right?” he pointed at a new photo of Teddy who was sitting on his broomstick, hovering up in the air and grinning.

Harry nodded, his eyes were full of tears, the room went hazy around him and he had to concentrate and blink to see Sirius.
“When did they die? Are they really both gone?” Sirius asked, his legs and arms trembling as he hugged himself again, his lips twisting into a gruesome, trembling sneer as he tried to hold his cry back. “At least they finally got together, only to…“ then his voice failed him and he sobbed out. Harry ran to him and pulled him to his body, cradling his body into his and held him as tightly as he could. He could clearly feel the man shaking in his arms but he still refused to cry.
“I can’t… I can’t look at the walls. There were even- the twins. The Weasley twins. Not them too, which one?… I can’t!”

Harry started slowly, trying to keep his voice calm. “It was the great battle, the final battle. We lost many.” He still had difficulties talking about this, even when it had happened twenty years ago. Some wounds never healed.

Sirius almost pushed him away to see him, to talk to him, his long, thin fingers clawing at Harry’s chest and his eyes full of tears, he looked angry and desperate. “Who else?”
Harry sighed. Could he really tell it all just like that? Would it be too much, too much grief at once?
Then again, he had lost these people during a few short months and he had survived, he had to. He started to finally realize that Sirius was going to have to fight a long battle of grief to get back to himself. He wanted to be there to help, but he hated the fact that he also had to be the one to tell everything, every gruesome death, every unbearable loss. But he had no choice. It was worse not knowing than to know and be able to cry and grief and remember and then finally, after a long time, move on.

So one by one he whispered out the names of his loved ones. Of the brave and the dead, the ones who fought so hard to make this world come true. He choked back tears and his voice failed as he told about their deaths. His heart ached as he whispered the last names very quietly and now his own hands were shaking too. Talking about them like this brought back memories he would have wanted to forget a long time ago but that were too important to ever forget. They had to be told, to be shared so the ones who had gone would never be forgotten.

Sirius was frozen in place, his fingers curled into the front of Harry’s robes, his eyes staring at his like hypnotized, feverish and dark, his breathing heavy and ragged, drawn with lungs that were fighting for breath.

Then he suddenly let out a small, faint cry and grumbled, slumped down, his body falling against Harry’s and his lips turning into an openmouthed grimace as a mix of cry and a feral growl left his throat. Harry held him up as his body jerked against his violently. He dragged Sirius backwards towards the bed.

He fell on the bed with Sirius on top of him and could still smell the cum on the sheets and the mixture of their sweat and the faint smell of the lotion. How could a moment like that turn into this in an instant.
He gripped Sirius’s body tighter against his, letting his grief wash over them and bury them into the darkening room slumped together.

Slowly, after a long moment the cry, the growls of anger and pain and sorrow subdued and Sirius could breathe shakily but calmly again. He rolled onto Harry’s side, still clinging to him with his arms and legs and being so close Harry could feel his body heat trough his robe.
He felt like a defenceless child in his arms and it hurt Harry to see him like this. He was so used to the memory of Sirius being the strong one, the one who didn’t let anything get to him.
He stroked the mans back calmingly and silently they lulled in their memories until the room was so dark that they couldn’t see each other anymore and slowly they drifted into restless sleep.

***

Sirius woke up with a start, his body jerking up. A horrified gasp escaped him as he clawed at the surroundings in the darkness. For a short agonizing, horrifying moment he thought that it had all been a dream, that he was still inside the veil but now the veil had learned how to torture him, how to trick him to believe he was again alive and living and with the one person who he loved more than anything in this world. Maybe the veil had just crown a horrible consciousness that sucked the memories of everyone inside it into itself and twisted them into these visions of pure happiness and pure sorrow all mixed together.

Then he heard a low murmur next to him “Lumos”.
The room lit up and he was staring at Harry’s face. His Harry, his living and aged, grown up, beautiful face. And it all rushed into his mind in all its certainty. It wasn’t a dream, it was real! And all those friends lost, their memories fresh in his mind that had been shut down for more than twenty years. They were all really dead.
He fell on his back and rubbed at his sore, puffy eyes. Harry was observing him with worry and finally he looked up into the deep green eyes of his lover and smiled sadly.
“This is the best and the worst day of my life, but I’m still damn glad to be here.” he said hoarsely and harry let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He didn’t know what to reply to Sirius so he pressed a soft kiss against his forehead and only nodded.

“Tell me something happy.” Sirius said after a long quiet moment and Harry curled his legs around Sirius’s as the other man slowly stripped the cloak off from him and pulled it over them both. His skin was cold as Harry hugged him tightly.
“Teddy, Remus’s and Tonk’s son is my godson. He is a really good friend with James and comes often here, so you’ll get to meet him soon.” he was smiling now “The Weasley’s have a heap of grandchildren now and it’s so crowned there during Christmas that they had to built an extra building to the yard so everyone had a place to sleep.” Sirius was staring past him to the darkness but smiled with him faintly.
“James is the Gryffindor Quidditch team captain but Al cares nothing for Quidditch, he likes reading, debating and getting himself into trouble with his friend.” now he glanced at Sirius and his lips twitched with mirth “With his best friend, Scorpius Malfoy.”

“What the freaking hell?” Sirius barked and sat up, his eyes full of life and anger again. Harry laughed giddily and his legs rose up as Sirius’s hands suddenly tickled at his sides. He tried to fight back as Sirius growled angry curses aimed at the Malfoy family, torturing his sides “-and you let your son get involved with scum like that, what in the name of Merlin has happened to-“
His rant was interrupted by Harry who pulled him quickly to him and kissed him passionately and deeply and Sirius’s words turned into a moan and his hands stopped tickling Harry’s sides.
Soon they were a rumbled heap in the middle of the bed, rolling around and kissing and stroking and moaning and gasping until Sirius poked Harry’s side, sending him tumbling to the floor and both of them fell to the soft carpet, clutching their sides as a hysterical laughing fit erupted out of them.

It was immature and strange, but it was healing. Soon they were too tired to move and pulled the sheets down to the floor, curling closer to each other and drifting into memory-filled dreams.

~ ~
TBC