Scars

Chapter 2.

Less than three years after that first time, Sirius Black 'officially' lost his virginity. It seemed ridiculous to him that, after almost three years of being savagely abused by his father, the rest of the world still saw him as a virgin: innocent, pure, unspoiled. Imogen Lewis, his pretty Hufflepuff girlfriend at the time, was the lucky recipient of Sirius' official virginity. They were only fourteen years old, but she'd been keen, and Sirius wanted to do it for private reasons. He wanted to know what his father felt. Would it be intense pleasure? Power? Control? What would drive a man to viciously rape his son?

"Aren't you going to take your trousers off?" asked Imogen, as she lay on her back, on his bed in the empty dormitory.

"No," replied Sirius, unzipping his trousers and releasing his erection. His thighs were, by now, so scarred that he was ashamed to let anyone, even his girlfriend, see them.

As it happened, he was disappointed. There was sexual pleasure, yes, but no more than he could give to himself. And, as he thrust into Imogen, he didn't feel particularly powerful. So he was still at a loss as to why his father did what he did.

"Wow," said Peter, as James patted Sirius on the back, congratulating him, and Remus rolled his eyes.

Sirius knew for some time that he was bisexual. He was 16, a 6th year, when he first had sex with another boy. Carl Johnson, a dark-haired, muscular 7th year, had let Sirius fuck him without asking too many questions. This conquest had received the same reception from James and Remus, although Peter had seemed a little less impressed. Sirius ignored him. By this point, he'd given up trying to find reason in his father's madness, and had instead turned to randomly, aimlessly, having sex with as many people as he could. He was good-looking, and popular enough that people still wanted him even when he insisted on staying half-clothed throughout the proceedings.

Because, of course, Sirius was still hurting himself. Sex, guilt, pain. He still owned that knife, and would drag it across his thighs, angrily, tearfully, numbly. His legs were heavily scarred.

Sirius was a Beater on the Gryffindor quidditch team. He was good at his role, with his innate strength and precision. Many of the people who turned up to watch Gryffindor's matches were only there to watch the handsome 6th year's lithe body swooping gracefully around the field.

One day, the team gathered in the changing rooms before practice. The team captain, a 7th year called Frank Longbottom, was beaming with pleasure. "I've got a new training uniform for us," he said, displaying a red t-shirt and shorts combination. "What?" spluttered Sirius.

"They're comfortable, they're practical, they're easy to move in," smiled Frank.

Alice May, a 5th year, Frank's girlfriend and James' fellow Chaser, pretended to look offended. "I think you just want to look at our legs, you big pervert," she said. The team laughed.

"Right, so I'm going to measure you all up," said Frank, "And the uniforms should be ready by the practice after next."

Later that evening, in the Common Room, Sirius turned casually to Remus. "Hey, Remus, you know how you always hurt yourself on our...adventures?"

Remus nodded.

"How come you're not scarred?"

"I am, slightly. But Madam Pomfrey gave me some ointment, it works wonders if you use it regularly. Why?"

"Oh, no reason," said Sirius casually.

Later still, he was alone in the common room, rooting through Remus' trunk, searching for the ointment. He couldn't find it anywhere. He emptied the trunk on to the bed, sending books and clothes flying as he searched for the ointment.

"What do you think you're doing?" said a voice.

Sirius turned around slowly. Remus Lupin was standing in the doorway, and he didn't look pleased.