A Heart So Ravenous (Sequel to A Love So Belated)
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
44
Views:
36,842
Reviews:
326
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
44
Views:
36,842
Reviews:
326
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 2: What People Think
Chapter Number/Total: 2/43
Chapter Title: What People Think
Words: 3441 Words
Harry was cautious around Draco for the rest of the day. The disaster of the almost-sex had been, well, a disaster. And Draco had scared him with his reaction to those official letters they'd received. They hadn't even mentioned them again, but Harry thought of them now as he slipped into pyjamas. They couldn't just ignore them, he knew that, but he didn't want to upset Draco. He frowned, laying his glasses on the bedside table before climbing in between the sheets, thinking.
Draco changed in the bathroom, pulling on the silk pyjamas his mother had given him for Christmas. They didn't chafe against his still-sensitive scars the way other fabrics did. When he came back to the bedroom, he stood in the doorway for a minute as he watched Harry get into bed.
Harry looked over at Draco's slight blurry figure and managed to give him a small smile.
Draco made his way into the room and to his side of the bed, climbing in and under the covers. He turned to face Harry. "I love you," he said softly.
"I know you do," Harry replied quietly, turning his body. "I love you, too." He would've reached out and touched Draco's face, probably kissed him, but he only lay still.
Draco sighed. "What is it?" he asked in a resigned tone.
Harry frowned, and then hesitantly brought an arm around Draco, pulling him closer. "Baby," he whispered, hoping it might calm him. He kissed Draco's ear. "We need to ... talk about ... those letters."
Draco sighed at the touch and wrapped his arm around Harry, too. But when Harry mentioned the letters, he tensed again.
Harry stroked Draco's hair, his own heart speeding up with the fear of Draco getting scared and running off again. "I ... I know you don't want to go .... Maybe I can do something so that you don't have to do it," he tried.
Draco buried his face against Harry's chest. "I can't," he mumbled.
"I don't want you to have to," Harry told him, still stroking his hair.
"What ... what they did ... I can't say it ... not in public," he whispered.
Harry winced. Most of the public already knew the terribly ...wrong... version thanks to Rita Skeeter, but he didn't say so. "I know, Draco," he said instead, feeling his heart clench as he thought about what had happened that night.
"They already had life sentences," Draco continued. "Why does he need a trial?"
"I don't know how any of that works," Harry said truthfully. "I don't know what they're doing this for.
Maybe I could go down and see if they'll take just me."
Draco lifted his face, looking up at him. "But then everyone will know," he whispered.
Harry's heart clenched again. What was the right thing to do? Continue to let Draco think it hadn't got out, or tell him? "Baby ..." he whispered.
"Don't tell them," Draco insisted.
Harry gritted his teeth and squeezed Draco tightly. "I would never tell," he said, closing his eyes.
"Good," Draco said and settled back down with his head against Harry's shoulder.
Harry continued to lie there, feeling tremendously guilty for not saying anything, but he couldn't – couldn't willingly put Draco through knowing about that article. Perhaps he would never have to find out.
***
It was the first time that Harry had actually made Kreacher clean. He wanted the house spotless before Draco's mother arrived, not wanting her to have any sort of excuse to persuade Draco to leave. She'd sent an owl the previous day to let them know she was coming. It had said it was for a visit, but Harry knew she was only coming to check on Draco. He figured Draco probably knew that as well. So the two of them stood waiting quietly for her at the door, as she'd said she would be arriving around five. Harry knew she had to have seen that article. He only hoped she wouldn't say anything about it.
Draco fidgeted with the cloth of his trousers, probably more nervous about his mother's visit than Harry was. He was grateful that his lover had taken it seriously. He reached for Harry's hand, wanting to hold it. Touching the man always seemed to make him feel more whole.
Harry gave Draco's hand a little squeeze. "I love you," he offered in a whisper before kissing his cheek. Then there were a few quiet knocks on the door.
Draco took a deep breath and released Harry's hand to step forward and open the door. "Welcome, Mother," he greeted.
She smiled at Draco as she stepped inside. When the door was closed behind her, she looked briefly around with her intent eyes.
"I can take your cloak," Harry said, stepping forward.
She raised an eyebrow as she unfastened the delicate material from around her neck. "I thought you owned a house-elf," she said.
"Yeah – I – I do," Harry answered. "I just don't have him get the door."
This was obviously strange to Narcissa, but she didn't say anything on the matter. She reached and grasped Draco's chin, turning his head gently before enveloping him in her arms. "Have you been all right?" she asked softly.
Draco was only a little tense when she hugged him and he was grateful for that. "I'm mending," he said. He made it a policy to try to avoid direct lies, especially with his mother, since she always seemed to know when he did.
She gave a small nod, brushing a bit of his hair back.
"Erm," said Harry, "I have dinner on. So we can sit and wait in the dining room if you like."
"Yes, that's fine," Narcissa agreed.
Harry nodded, walking around Draco and Narcissa to lead the way.
"This place looks exactly as it did the last time I was here," said Narcissa. "Except ... older." It sounded like she wanted to say dingier.
"We haven't changed it much," Draco said. Not outside the bedroom, he thought. "Maybe you could help us look at ways to redecorate." He kept his voice low, hoping not to set off the portrait.
"Yes, perhaps," Narcissa said, sounding pleased with the idea.
Harry had made Kreacher polish the table and chairs in the dining room, hoping to at least please Narcissa in some way. He pulled out the chair at the head of the table for her, and she looked mildly surprised when she sat down. He sat on her left.
Draco sat opposite his lover and smiled at him. He liked that Harry was being respectful to his mother.
Harry smiled back. So far, so good.
"Have you been eating okay?" Narcissa gently asked Draco once she was settled. "Just so I don't have to worry about it."
Draco frowned. "I have been eating," he replied, somewhat sullenly. Of course, Harry had also been nagging him about eating.
"Good," Narcissa said with a few small nods, her hands folded in her lap. She sighed quietly into the silence. "Will you be going to the trial?" she asked finally, carefully.
Draco startled at the change in conversation and then tried to look calm. His stomach gave a heave and he clenched his jaw and his hands.
Harry startled too, and Narcissa looked alarmed with Draco's reaction.
"Er, we've only talked about it a little," Harry said quickly.
Draco found himself shaking his head. "No," he whispered.
"You're not going to go?" Narcissa asked quietly, her expression unchanging.
Draco just kept shaking his head, eyes focused on the table in front of him while he tried not to get sick.
Narcissa's face turned fearful and she looked at Harry as if demanding him to make it better.
Harry got to his feet, walking around to Draco's side of the table. He sat beside him, reaching a hand to rub his back.
Draco shivered but then felt a little better at the contact. He looked to Harry, eyes pleading in a way he couldn't bring himself to say to his mother.
"Okay, baby," Harry whispered very quietly, still rubbing Draco's back. He leaned forward and kissed his forehead.
Narcissa looked completely out of her element.
Draco wanted to explain to his mother, but like before when he had tried to talk about it, it felt like his throat closed up. He thought she had to know part of it at least, since she'd heard the Healers at St Mungo's.
Narcissa's eyes teared up, but she managed to calm herself. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I … only said ... I thought you would want to clear your name."
Draco looked up at his mother in confusion. "My name?" he asked. "I didn't do anything."
Harry's heart began thumping.
"Well, I – I know, but that article ...." said Narcissa. "I thought you would want to set it straight after what that horrible Skeeter woman wrote." Her eyes suddenly flashed with intense anger. "I will take legal action against that paper if they print anything like that ever again. I will take illegal action if I have to."
Draco's eyes widened, his heart racing. "Wh-what article?" he asked.
Narcissa looked up at that. "What do you mean what ...." Her eyes strayed to Harry and she paled.
Draco looked from his mother to Harry. "What article?" he asked, both anger and fear in his voice now as he challenged his lover.
Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "It was in the paper the day we got the letters from the Ministry," he whispered.
"What?" Draco asked again. "What did it say?"
"Oh, Draco," Narcissa said, looking nearly distraught. "I – I thought you'd seen it – I thought you knew. You – you don't need to know what it said."
Draco couldn't stop the trembling now as he continued to look at Harry, an expression of horror on his face as he thought of the things that might have been in the article.
"You don't need to know," Harry agreed in a whisper, opening his eyes again and almost wishing he hadn't when he saw Draco's face. He reached for him, hoping he wouldn't pull away.
"She t-told p-people?" Draco managed in a horrified stutter.
Harry tried to comfort Draco, petting him with gentle hands. "Most of it sounded unbelievable," he whispered. "Don't worry about it."
Draco pushed away from the table, getting to his feet and stepping away from his lover. "You knew and you didn't tell me?" he accused.
Harry's eyes widened and his heart sped up again. "I – I didn't want to upset you," he tried to explain.
Narcissa stared with wide eyes as well.
Draco couldn't stop his hands from shaking, so he crossed his arms over his chest. "What. Did. It. Say!"
Harry looked down at the floor. "It made it sound like you were in on it," he whispered. Merlin, it was going to be painful to say all of this. "Like it was a trap set up for me. Then it said that you ... that you ... nearly died and ... that your injuries were ... suggestive." He released a shaky breath, making himself look up at Draco again.
Draco felt his stomach lurch and this time he couldn't help it. He ran from the room to the lavatory.
Narcissa gasped, her face very white now. She stood quickly from her chair while Harry ran after Draco.
Draco barely made it to the toilet before he threw up.
Harry could hear him before he reached the lavatory. He didn't know if he should go in. He didn't know if Draco would want to be anywhere near him right then.
Draco hadn't eaten much that day so it didn't take long before he was dry heaving. And to top it off, he was bloody crying again.
Harry remained in the hallway outside the door until he heard a sob. He had to go in then. When he saw Draco on the floor he winced and wet a face flannel before going down slowly to his knees beside him.
Draco was clutching the edge of the bowl, hair sticking to his wet face. He looked up at his lover, pain in his eyes. "You didn't tell me," he said in a much smaller voice now.
"I'm sorry," Harry said, voice shaking. "I should've. I should've told you. I'm sorry."
"People think ... I did that ...with them ...willingly?" he asked, voice still full of the horror of it.
Harry didn't know how to answer that. He wanted to give Draco an answer that would make him feel better, but he couldn't lie. He gave a small nod.
Draco probably would have thrown up again if he'd had anything left in his stomach. Instead he clenched his teeth and closed his eyes, trying to gain control of his body.
Harry sat there helplessly, still clutching the wet cloth. He wanted to take Draco into his arms, but was nervous again.
Draco hung his head, shame and revulsion making him almost wish he had died that night.
Harry sat there silently for a few more moments before he finally decided he couldn't just sit there. He reached for Draco again to pull him against his chest.
Some of the intensity of the pain he was in seemed to ease when Harry held him, and Draco sobbed against his shoulder.
Harry rocked with Draco, making small soothing noises in his ear. He was beyond grateful that Draco was letting him hold him. He could tell when Narcissa finally came and found them. He felt her presence in the doorway, even though his back was turned.
Draco held on to Harry's shirt with both hands, face still pressed to it as his tears soaked into the fabric.
Harry turned his head slightly to see Narcissa looking confused and highly upset. There were tear tracks running through her make-up and her eyes held a strange look. Neither of them said anything, and Harry continued to rock with Draco.
"I didn't want anyone to know," Draco mumbled into Harry's shirt.
"I know," Harry whispered. "It's not your fault."
"I tried to fight them," Draco insisted as if trying to convince someone. "I wasn't expecting them. I should have. But they disarmed me and then ...."
"No, you don't even have to think about it," Harry told him. "You don't have to tell me. I know."
"I wouldn't have ever let anyone hurt you," Draco continued, not seeming to heed the reassurances. "I swear it. I would do anything to keep them from hurting you."
Harry took in a shaky breath at that. "You don't have to protect me," he whispered.
"I tried to keep them from getting the ring," Draco pleaded. "I fought them. They nearly cut it off."
Harry clenched his teeth and his hands shook. He could hear Narcissa crying quietly. "I killed him," he said. "Should have killed them both."
Draco couldn't disagree with that, so he held on to Harry tighter. "I love you, I swear I will never betray you," he said.
"I know you won't," Harry told him. "I know it, Draco."
Draco seemed to have cried himself out now. He was still shaking a bit, but he was calmer. He had made a mess of Harry's shirt though, and he pulled back enough to look up at him.
Harry nodded, for what he wasn't sure. He pushed Draco's damp hair back and took his face in his hands. "I love you and I trust you more than anyone," he said firmly.
Draco looked into those eyes, searching for the truth in them and finding reassurance. "People will think I betrayed you," he whispered.
"It doesn't matter what people think," Harry said. "Doesn't matter a bit. Do I want to be with all those people, or do I want you?"
"You matter more, Harry, but it does matter what people think," Draco said as he looked over Harry's shoulder at his mother.
Harry looked over at Narcissa as well.
There were still tears on her face and she looked like she wasn't sure if she should be there, but didn't want to leave.
Draco's eyes were still on his mother, pleading for her to understand. He wanted to know what mattered to her, but was afraid to ask.
Narcissa didn't seem to know what Draco was asking her. She mouthed silently for a moment before she took in a quiet breath. "I will see to it that you don't have to testify," she said quietly, her voice odd and throaty.
Draco smiled weakly and, holding on to Harry for support, got shakily to his feet and reached one hand to his mother.
She let out a small sob as he did that and then stepped toward him.
Still holding Harry with one hand, Draco took his mother's hand and pulled her to him.
She hugged her son tightly, and Harry stood by, fingers laced with Draco's.
Being held by two of the people who loved him most and without reservation was calming. Draco took several deep breaths as if he could literally inhale their love.
Narcissa pulled back after several moments and looked at Draco. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "You must think I'm horrible."
"No, Mother," he said softly, "I don't."
She sniffed and wiped at her eyes. "I hardly deserve a son like you," she said quietly.
Draco felt she didn't deserve the trouble he seemed to attract, but he only smiled at her. Then his face fell as he remembered something. "But Father, he will have read the paper ...."
"Yes," she said, still quiet. "I've arranged a meeting. Try not to worry about it."
"He won't believe I would ...." Draco trailed off, shuddering again.
"No," she said firmly, looking seriously at Draco. "Your father will not believe that."
Harry watched them. He had completely forgotten about Lucius.
Draco desperately wanted to believe her so he nodded. "Tell him, please," he requested.
She nodded as well. "I will."
Draco was suddenly aware that they were standing in the small downstairs lavatory. "You two go back to the dining room," he said. "Let me clean up and I will join you."
Narcissa glanced at Harry, and Harry at her. They both nodded.
Narcissa stepped back and quietly left the room, and Harry handed Draco the cloth. "I love you," he said, turning to head out of the room as well.
Draco smiled for a moment, watching them walk away, and then turned to wash his face.
When Harry entered back into the dining room, Narcissa was seated again and the food was set out on the table. Kreacher was there, staring at Narcissa with a look of plain and blatant adoration.
She stared back with a strange expression, her eyebrows arched.
Harry cleared his throat. "Kreacher," he said, nodding his head towards the door.
Kreacher nodded slowly, and left the room without taking his eyes from Narcissa.
Harry shook his head, taking his seat again as well.
Narcissa made a small little sound, shifting around in her seat a bit. "I can see how much you mean to him," she said quietly.
Harry looked at her.
"I don't think ...." She paused for a bit. "I don't think I could have calmed him like that." It looked like it pained her to say it.
Harry felt a swell of pride. Draco's mother thought he'd done a good job calming him? He smiled a little.
"Thank you, is what I suppose I'm trying to say," she continued. "I think I can, well, perhaps feel a little better about him living away from me." She smiled slightly as well.
"You're welcome, then, I suppose," Harry said, reminded of their first time meeting one another. "He means more to me than ... than anything. I really mean that." He flushed a little.
She nodded. "Yes, I think I can see that as well."
Harry could tell that she would accept nothing less in a partner of Draco's.
Draco came up and stood in the doorway for a moment. When they were done speaking, he did his best to walk in like he had heard nothing. "So, what has Kreacher prepared for us tonight?" he asked in his best 'host voice'.
Harry looked over and smiled at him. "Roast chicken," he said, feeling much better now that Draco knew about the article and seemed to be mostly okay. He hoped his lover wasn't just acting.
Draco pushed his fears as far back as he could and tried to focus on being with Harry and his mother. He knew they loved him and that made it possible for him to forget, for a little while, his own pain.
Chapter Title: What People Think
Words: 3441 Words
Harry was cautious around Draco for the rest of the day. The disaster of the almost-sex had been, well, a disaster. And Draco had scared him with his reaction to those official letters they'd received. They hadn't even mentioned them again, but Harry thought of them now as he slipped into pyjamas. They couldn't just ignore them, he knew that, but he didn't want to upset Draco. He frowned, laying his glasses on the bedside table before climbing in between the sheets, thinking.
Draco changed in the bathroom, pulling on the silk pyjamas his mother had given him for Christmas. They didn't chafe against his still-sensitive scars the way other fabrics did. When he came back to the bedroom, he stood in the doorway for a minute as he watched Harry get into bed.
Harry looked over at Draco's slight blurry figure and managed to give him a small smile.
Draco made his way into the room and to his side of the bed, climbing in and under the covers. He turned to face Harry. "I love you," he said softly.
"I know you do," Harry replied quietly, turning his body. "I love you, too." He would've reached out and touched Draco's face, probably kissed him, but he only lay still.
Draco sighed. "What is it?" he asked in a resigned tone.
Harry frowned, and then hesitantly brought an arm around Draco, pulling him closer. "Baby," he whispered, hoping it might calm him. He kissed Draco's ear. "We need to ... talk about ... those letters."
Draco sighed at the touch and wrapped his arm around Harry, too. But when Harry mentioned the letters, he tensed again.
Harry stroked Draco's hair, his own heart speeding up with the fear of Draco getting scared and running off again. "I ... I know you don't want to go .... Maybe I can do something so that you don't have to do it," he tried.
Draco buried his face against Harry's chest. "I can't," he mumbled.
"I don't want you to have to," Harry told him, still stroking his hair.
"What ... what they did ... I can't say it ... not in public," he whispered.
Harry winced. Most of the public already knew the terribly ...wrong... version thanks to Rita Skeeter, but he didn't say so. "I know, Draco," he said instead, feeling his heart clench as he thought about what had happened that night.
"They already had life sentences," Draco continued. "Why does he need a trial?"
"I don't know how any of that works," Harry said truthfully. "I don't know what they're doing this for.
Maybe I could go down and see if they'll take just me."
Draco lifted his face, looking up at him. "But then everyone will know," he whispered.
Harry's heart clenched again. What was the right thing to do? Continue to let Draco think it hadn't got out, or tell him? "Baby ..." he whispered.
"Don't tell them," Draco insisted.
Harry gritted his teeth and squeezed Draco tightly. "I would never tell," he said, closing his eyes.
"Good," Draco said and settled back down with his head against Harry's shoulder.
Harry continued to lie there, feeling tremendously guilty for not saying anything, but he couldn't – couldn't willingly put Draco through knowing about that article. Perhaps he would never have to find out.
***
It was the first time that Harry had actually made Kreacher clean. He wanted the house spotless before Draco's mother arrived, not wanting her to have any sort of excuse to persuade Draco to leave. She'd sent an owl the previous day to let them know she was coming. It had said it was for a visit, but Harry knew she was only coming to check on Draco. He figured Draco probably knew that as well. So the two of them stood waiting quietly for her at the door, as she'd said she would be arriving around five. Harry knew she had to have seen that article. He only hoped she wouldn't say anything about it.
Draco fidgeted with the cloth of his trousers, probably more nervous about his mother's visit than Harry was. He was grateful that his lover had taken it seriously. He reached for Harry's hand, wanting to hold it. Touching the man always seemed to make him feel more whole.
Harry gave Draco's hand a little squeeze. "I love you," he offered in a whisper before kissing his cheek. Then there were a few quiet knocks on the door.
Draco took a deep breath and released Harry's hand to step forward and open the door. "Welcome, Mother," he greeted.
She smiled at Draco as she stepped inside. When the door was closed behind her, she looked briefly around with her intent eyes.
"I can take your cloak," Harry said, stepping forward.
She raised an eyebrow as she unfastened the delicate material from around her neck. "I thought you owned a house-elf," she said.
"Yeah – I – I do," Harry answered. "I just don't have him get the door."
This was obviously strange to Narcissa, but she didn't say anything on the matter. She reached and grasped Draco's chin, turning his head gently before enveloping him in her arms. "Have you been all right?" she asked softly.
Draco was only a little tense when she hugged him and he was grateful for that. "I'm mending," he said. He made it a policy to try to avoid direct lies, especially with his mother, since she always seemed to know when he did.
She gave a small nod, brushing a bit of his hair back.
"Erm," said Harry, "I have dinner on. So we can sit and wait in the dining room if you like."
"Yes, that's fine," Narcissa agreed.
Harry nodded, walking around Draco and Narcissa to lead the way.
"This place looks exactly as it did the last time I was here," said Narcissa. "Except ... older." It sounded like she wanted to say dingier.
"We haven't changed it much," Draco said. Not outside the bedroom, he thought. "Maybe you could help us look at ways to redecorate." He kept his voice low, hoping not to set off the portrait.
"Yes, perhaps," Narcissa said, sounding pleased with the idea.
Harry had made Kreacher polish the table and chairs in the dining room, hoping to at least please Narcissa in some way. He pulled out the chair at the head of the table for her, and she looked mildly surprised when she sat down. He sat on her left.
Draco sat opposite his lover and smiled at him. He liked that Harry was being respectful to his mother.
Harry smiled back. So far, so good.
"Have you been eating okay?" Narcissa gently asked Draco once she was settled. "Just so I don't have to worry about it."
Draco frowned. "I have been eating," he replied, somewhat sullenly. Of course, Harry had also been nagging him about eating.
"Good," Narcissa said with a few small nods, her hands folded in her lap. She sighed quietly into the silence. "Will you be going to the trial?" she asked finally, carefully.
Draco startled at the change in conversation and then tried to look calm. His stomach gave a heave and he clenched his jaw and his hands.
Harry startled too, and Narcissa looked alarmed with Draco's reaction.
"Er, we've only talked about it a little," Harry said quickly.
Draco found himself shaking his head. "No," he whispered.
"You're not going to go?" Narcissa asked quietly, her expression unchanging.
Draco just kept shaking his head, eyes focused on the table in front of him while he tried not to get sick.
Narcissa's face turned fearful and she looked at Harry as if demanding him to make it better.
Harry got to his feet, walking around to Draco's side of the table. He sat beside him, reaching a hand to rub his back.
Draco shivered but then felt a little better at the contact. He looked to Harry, eyes pleading in a way he couldn't bring himself to say to his mother.
"Okay, baby," Harry whispered very quietly, still rubbing Draco's back. He leaned forward and kissed his forehead.
Narcissa looked completely out of her element.
Draco wanted to explain to his mother, but like before when he had tried to talk about it, it felt like his throat closed up. He thought she had to know part of it at least, since she'd heard the Healers at St Mungo's.
Narcissa's eyes teared up, but she managed to calm herself. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I … only said ... I thought you would want to clear your name."
Draco looked up at his mother in confusion. "My name?" he asked. "I didn't do anything."
Harry's heart began thumping.
"Well, I – I know, but that article ...." said Narcissa. "I thought you would want to set it straight after what that horrible Skeeter woman wrote." Her eyes suddenly flashed with intense anger. "I will take legal action against that paper if they print anything like that ever again. I will take illegal action if I have to."
Draco's eyes widened, his heart racing. "Wh-what article?" he asked.
Narcissa looked up at that. "What do you mean what ...." Her eyes strayed to Harry and she paled.
Draco looked from his mother to Harry. "What article?" he asked, both anger and fear in his voice now as he challenged his lover.
Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "It was in the paper the day we got the letters from the Ministry," he whispered.
"What?" Draco asked again. "What did it say?"
"Oh, Draco," Narcissa said, looking nearly distraught. "I – I thought you'd seen it – I thought you knew. You – you don't need to know what it said."
Draco couldn't stop the trembling now as he continued to look at Harry, an expression of horror on his face as he thought of the things that might have been in the article.
"You don't need to know," Harry agreed in a whisper, opening his eyes again and almost wishing he hadn't when he saw Draco's face. He reached for him, hoping he wouldn't pull away.
"She t-told p-people?" Draco managed in a horrified stutter.
Harry tried to comfort Draco, petting him with gentle hands. "Most of it sounded unbelievable," he whispered. "Don't worry about it."
Draco pushed away from the table, getting to his feet and stepping away from his lover. "You knew and you didn't tell me?" he accused.
Harry's eyes widened and his heart sped up again. "I – I didn't want to upset you," he tried to explain.
Narcissa stared with wide eyes as well.
Draco couldn't stop his hands from shaking, so he crossed his arms over his chest. "What. Did. It. Say!"
Harry looked down at the floor. "It made it sound like you were in on it," he whispered. Merlin, it was going to be painful to say all of this. "Like it was a trap set up for me. Then it said that you ... that you ... nearly died and ... that your injuries were ... suggestive." He released a shaky breath, making himself look up at Draco again.
Draco felt his stomach lurch and this time he couldn't help it. He ran from the room to the lavatory.
Narcissa gasped, her face very white now. She stood quickly from her chair while Harry ran after Draco.
Draco barely made it to the toilet before he threw up.
Harry could hear him before he reached the lavatory. He didn't know if he should go in. He didn't know if Draco would want to be anywhere near him right then.
Draco hadn't eaten much that day so it didn't take long before he was dry heaving. And to top it off, he was bloody crying again.
Harry remained in the hallway outside the door until he heard a sob. He had to go in then. When he saw Draco on the floor he winced and wet a face flannel before going down slowly to his knees beside him.
Draco was clutching the edge of the bowl, hair sticking to his wet face. He looked up at his lover, pain in his eyes. "You didn't tell me," he said in a much smaller voice now.
"I'm sorry," Harry said, voice shaking. "I should've. I should've told you. I'm sorry."
"People think ... I did that ...with them ...willingly?" he asked, voice still full of the horror of it.
Harry didn't know how to answer that. He wanted to give Draco an answer that would make him feel better, but he couldn't lie. He gave a small nod.
Draco probably would have thrown up again if he'd had anything left in his stomach. Instead he clenched his teeth and closed his eyes, trying to gain control of his body.
Harry sat there helplessly, still clutching the wet cloth. He wanted to take Draco into his arms, but was nervous again.
Draco hung his head, shame and revulsion making him almost wish he had died that night.
Harry sat there silently for a few more moments before he finally decided he couldn't just sit there. He reached for Draco again to pull him against his chest.
Some of the intensity of the pain he was in seemed to ease when Harry held him, and Draco sobbed against his shoulder.
Harry rocked with Draco, making small soothing noises in his ear. He was beyond grateful that Draco was letting him hold him. He could tell when Narcissa finally came and found them. He felt her presence in the doorway, even though his back was turned.
Draco held on to Harry's shirt with both hands, face still pressed to it as his tears soaked into the fabric.
Harry turned his head slightly to see Narcissa looking confused and highly upset. There were tear tracks running through her make-up and her eyes held a strange look. Neither of them said anything, and Harry continued to rock with Draco.
"I didn't want anyone to know," Draco mumbled into Harry's shirt.
"I know," Harry whispered. "It's not your fault."
"I tried to fight them," Draco insisted as if trying to convince someone. "I wasn't expecting them. I should have. But they disarmed me and then ...."
"No, you don't even have to think about it," Harry told him. "You don't have to tell me. I know."
"I wouldn't have ever let anyone hurt you," Draco continued, not seeming to heed the reassurances. "I swear it. I would do anything to keep them from hurting you."
Harry took in a shaky breath at that. "You don't have to protect me," he whispered.
"I tried to keep them from getting the ring," Draco pleaded. "I fought them. They nearly cut it off."
Harry clenched his teeth and his hands shook. He could hear Narcissa crying quietly. "I killed him," he said. "Should have killed them both."
Draco couldn't disagree with that, so he held on to Harry tighter. "I love you, I swear I will never betray you," he said.
"I know you won't," Harry told him. "I know it, Draco."
Draco seemed to have cried himself out now. He was still shaking a bit, but he was calmer. He had made a mess of Harry's shirt though, and he pulled back enough to look up at him.
Harry nodded, for what he wasn't sure. He pushed Draco's damp hair back and took his face in his hands. "I love you and I trust you more than anyone," he said firmly.
Draco looked into those eyes, searching for the truth in them and finding reassurance. "People will think I betrayed you," he whispered.
"It doesn't matter what people think," Harry said. "Doesn't matter a bit. Do I want to be with all those people, or do I want you?"
"You matter more, Harry, but it does matter what people think," Draco said as he looked over Harry's shoulder at his mother.
Harry looked over at Narcissa as well.
There were still tears on her face and she looked like she wasn't sure if she should be there, but didn't want to leave.
Draco's eyes were still on his mother, pleading for her to understand. He wanted to know what mattered to her, but was afraid to ask.
Narcissa didn't seem to know what Draco was asking her. She mouthed silently for a moment before she took in a quiet breath. "I will see to it that you don't have to testify," she said quietly, her voice odd and throaty.
Draco smiled weakly and, holding on to Harry for support, got shakily to his feet and reached one hand to his mother.
She let out a small sob as he did that and then stepped toward him.
Still holding Harry with one hand, Draco took his mother's hand and pulled her to him.
She hugged her son tightly, and Harry stood by, fingers laced with Draco's.
Being held by two of the people who loved him most and without reservation was calming. Draco took several deep breaths as if he could literally inhale their love.
Narcissa pulled back after several moments and looked at Draco. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "You must think I'm horrible."
"No, Mother," he said softly, "I don't."
She sniffed and wiped at her eyes. "I hardly deserve a son like you," she said quietly.
Draco felt she didn't deserve the trouble he seemed to attract, but he only smiled at her. Then his face fell as he remembered something. "But Father, he will have read the paper ...."
"Yes," she said, still quiet. "I've arranged a meeting. Try not to worry about it."
"He won't believe I would ...." Draco trailed off, shuddering again.
"No," she said firmly, looking seriously at Draco. "Your father will not believe that."
Harry watched them. He had completely forgotten about Lucius.
Draco desperately wanted to believe her so he nodded. "Tell him, please," he requested.
She nodded as well. "I will."
Draco was suddenly aware that they were standing in the small downstairs lavatory. "You two go back to the dining room," he said. "Let me clean up and I will join you."
Narcissa glanced at Harry, and Harry at her. They both nodded.
Narcissa stepped back and quietly left the room, and Harry handed Draco the cloth. "I love you," he said, turning to head out of the room as well.
Draco smiled for a moment, watching them walk away, and then turned to wash his face.
When Harry entered back into the dining room, Narcissa was seated again and the food was set out on the table. Kreacher was there, staring at Narcissa with a look of plain and blatant adoration.
She stared back with a strange expression, her eyebrows arched.
Harry cleared his throat. "Kreacher," he said, nodding his head towards the door.
Kreacher nodded slowly, and left the room without taking his eyes from Narcissa.
Harry shook his head, taking his seat again as well.
Narcissa made a small little sound, shifting around in her seat a bit. "I can see how much you mean to him," she said quietly.
Harry looked at her.
"I don't think ...." She paused for a bit. "I don't think I could have calmed him like that." It looked like it pained her to say it.
Harry felt a swell of pride. Draco's mother thought he'd done a good job calming him? He smiled a little.
"Thank you, is what I suppose I'm trying to say," she continued. "I think I can, well, perhaps feel a little better about him living away from me." She smiled slightly as well.
"You're welcome, then, I suppose," Harry said, reminded of their first time meeting one another. "He means more to me than ... than anything. I really mean that." He flushed a little.
She nodded. "Yes, I think I can see that as well."
Harry could tell that she would accept nothing less in a partner of Draco's.
Draco came up and stood in the doorway for a moment. When they were done speaking, he did his best to walk in like he had heard nothing. "So, what has Kreacher prepared for us tonight?" he asked in his best 'host voice'.
Harry looked over and smiled at him. "Roast chicken," he said, feeling much better now that Draco knew about the article and seemed to be mostly okay. He hoped his lover wasn't just acting.
Draco pushed his fears as far back as he could and tried to focus on being with Harry and his mother. He knew they loved him and that made it possible for him to forget, for a little while, his own pain.