When you love two

Warning: This chapter contains slashy-goodness.

Bill stood at the window, staring up at the full moon as if to challenge the power it held over him. He often wondered how something so normal, so ordinary, as the full moon, could alter his personality in such a way. It made him lose control, it let his most basic instincts out, and there was little Bill could do to about it.

It took him a few months after the attack to realize he couldn’t be around others during those nights. He was afraid he would hurt them, and he didn’t know what would happen if he got out of control and bit someone. He wasn’t a werewolf, but the curse was in his blood, and he wouldn’t risk hurting anyone, cursing them too. He couldn’t let anyone closer those days. Except for one person, that is; the man he was currently waiting for. In those days, when the moon ruled his life and the animal took over, he was the only thing keeping Bill sane.

He saw movement through the window and stepped away from it, swiftly making his way to the door, to wait. He could hear the footsteps approaching, a sound he knew no one else would hear. Hidden by the shadows, he waited until the door creaked open, and then launched forward.

Bill grabbed the man by the shoulders as he entered, and pushed him against the wall.

“Fuck,” his low voice gasped by his ear, as Bill pressed his body flush against his.

“What took you so long?” Bill growled, even as his fingers fought the buttons of the other man’s shirt open.

“Bill, we have to talk,” he said, pushing him away a bit, but not trying very hard.

“Later,” he answered. Groaning in frustration, he tore the man’s shirt open, sending the buttons flying all over the place; with a wicked glint in his eye, he licked his lips at the sight of the toned, freckled body before him.

His finger lightly traced a burn that hadn’t been there the last time they had been together. “New one?” he asked, unable to tear his eyes away from the small mark.

“Part of the job,” he answered, with a shrug. “There’s something we need to talk about,” he repeated, but Bill wasn’t listening. His hands kept caressing the warm body in front of him, the need evident in his eyes.

The moon had been up for a few hours by then, and its effects were too strong to ignore, even for a few moments. If he wanted to talk, he would have to wait. First, the animal within him had to be sated.

“Eager?” he asked Bill, with a knowing smirk that made him growl. Instead of answering, he simply crashed their lips together, in a hard, heated kiss.

He felt the other’s fingers move around his shoulder, his neck, and then up, until he grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked Bill’s head back. He took advantage of Bill’s surprise, and pushed himself away from the wall, before flipping them over, so now he had Bill pinned against the closed door.

The man’s lips were on his neck, and he nibbled and bit, as one of his hands travelled between them, cupping Bill’s erection, pressing just hard enough to make him groan and push back against it.

Even as the animal wanted him to take control, another part of Bill wanted to let go, to let someone else be in charge. It didn’t happen often, but it felt good while it lasted; freeing.

The man’s other hand moved between them, too, swiftly undoing his trousers, and pushing them down to the floor. Rough lips met his again, and he responded to the kiss, his hands moving to the man’s muscled shoulders, as he tried to push him away. But the man was strong, and kept his ground. Bill could have managed to push him away, he knew, but that would mean using the strength his curse gave him, and by doing that, he would lose the little self control he still had.

The man finally broke the kiss, his teeth nibbling on Bill’s lower lip for a moment before he tilted his head back; just enough so he could fix his eyes on Bill, the hungry look on his face mirroring his own. With a wicked smirk, he ground his hips against Bill’s once, and then his hand was back between them, as his fingers wrapped around his erection.

The strokes were firm, confident, just as he knew Bill liked them. After so long, he knew every trick, every touch, everything that never failed to drive him, and the animal, crazy.

Bill’s hips started moving without him noticing, pushing against the hand, trying to make it move faster. It wasn’t enough, he wanted more. He moved his hand behind the man’s neck, pushing his head closer, so their lips would meet again. He was the one in control of the kiss now, and after a few moments, he buried his fingers in the man’s hair and pulled his head back. Then, with a wolfish smile on his face, he pulled his head down, just hard enough to let him know what he wanted. It only took the man a second to comply.

He licked his lips as he watched the man kneel in front of him, his eyes still fixed on his, his hand still stroking his erection. They both stood still for a moment, and then the man winked at Bill, moved his face closer to him, and then licked the tip of his erection. It barely lasted a second, just a teasing flick, really, and then he moved back again.

Bill groaned in frustration, pushing his hips forward, but he had moved back too fast. He pushed the man’s head lightly, but the man didn’t move. Instead, he tightened his fingers around Bill, hard enough to let him get the message. He was not in charge any more.

He kept his eyes locked on Bill’s, clearly enjoying his frustration, and then, unexpectedly, moved forward, taking him in his hot, wet mouth. Bill groaned, his back arching at the sudden pleasure, and moved both hands to the man’s hair, lightly pushing his head back and forth, setting the rhythm.


He felt the animal stir inside, urging him to make the man move faster, take him deeper, to simply take what he wanted, but he didn’t. Instead, he shivered when he felt strong hands moving up his thighs, one moving back to his erection, the other behind him, and he couldn’t help but spread his legs, just a bit, when he felt the fingers tease his entrance.

“You like that?” the man asked, but he couldn’t bring himself to answer. Instead, he simply groaned, and pushed his head back down at the same time as he pushed his hips forward, making the man take him in his mouth again.

He almost moaned when he felt a finger slip inside of him, his hips jerking forward, so he drove himself deeper into the man’s mouth. He was moving faster now, his tongue teasing the underside of his erection as his finger moved inside him, searching for the spot that would drive him wild. It didn’t take him long to find it.

Bill arched from the wall, his legs feeling weak as he felt the man’s teeth carefully grazing his erection, and another finger slipping inside his body. Both the man’s head and his fingers were moving to the same rhythm, faster and faster, until he was sure he couldn’t take any more. And then it stopped.

With a loud, dangerous growl, he tried to push the man closer again, but he simply smirked at Bill, and got up.

“What are you doing?” he asked him, his voice hoarse from desire.

“You think you get to have all the fun?” he asked Bill, before crushing their lips together again.

He had been so close, so very close. He couldn’t believe he had simply stopped.

Bill moved his arms to the man’s shoulders, and pushed him away, this time hard enough. He watched his surprised face, as his stumbled backwards, stopping in the middle of the room, his expression turning lustful again, as he stood there, waiting for Bill to make the next move.

Bill stood in silence for a moment, his breathing hard, trying to decide exactly what he wanted to do. He was losing the last bit of restraint he had left, and now his mind was clouded with desire. With his eyes fixed on the other man, he took his T-shirt off, and then stepped out of his trousers. He looked the other man up and down.

“Take it off,” he ordered, and the other man smirked before pushing the shirt off his shoulders. “All of it,” he said, after a moment, and soon they were both standing there, naked.

With slow steps, meant to threaten, to make him nervous, he approached the man, stopping only a few inches away.

“Will you finish what you started?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous, and then other man merely shook his head. Just the answer he knew he would get. With another wolfish grin, he stepped forward, kissing the man hard, as he walked him back, so he had him against the wall once more.

Bill moved his hands to the other man’s hips, and then pushed him closer, so that their erections were rubbing together. He heard the man moan, and then he moved his hands further down, trying to spread his legs, but the man broke the kiss, a playful smile on his lips as he shook his head again.

“Not tonight,” he simply said, before pushing Bill away again. He tried to flip them over, like he had before, but Bill had been expecting it.

He took a step to the other side, so that they were both facing each other, barely a foot away. Bill took a step forward, and the man took a step back. He wouldn’t make it easy, none of them would. They fought for control, they always did. Sometimes, that was what it was all about.

Bill launched forward, trying to grip him by the shoulders, but the man stepped to the side in the last second, so that Bill missed him by inches. He heard the man chuckle, and he turned around to face him.

“Missed,” he said, and stepped away from Bill.

So, he wanted to play. Bill walked towards him, eyes still fixed on the other, and grinned when the man hit the small desk by the window. He wouldn’t escape, now. Bill was still a few feet away, and took his time approaching, feeling the man grow slightly nervous. What he didn’t realize was that he had left his wand on the table; not until the man took it and aimed it his way.

He saw the shot of light leave the wand without any words being muttered, but he swiftly stepped to the side and avoided it. In the same motion, he reached his arm forward, and grabbed the other man by the wrist, making him turn around and twisting his arm behind his back.

“That’s cheating,” Bill growled by his ear, as he pushed him against the table.

“Didn’t know there were rules,” the man replied, rather smugly, considering the position he was now in.

“You tried to use magic,” Bill whispered, keeping the man firmly in place when he tried to fight him.

“You use magic too, only you don’t need a wand.”

“This isn’t magic,” he growled. “This is a curse.”

“Is it?” he asked cheekily, making Bill growl again. Bill knew he was just saying that to make him angry, so that he would let his instincts take over, but knowing it didn’t make any difference. It always worked.

With his free hand, Bill pushed on the man’s shoulder, so that his upper body was lying on the table, and then kicked his legs apart, stepping as close as possible.

“You are playing a dangerous game, you know?” he asked, as he ground his hips against the man’s. But he already knew that, of course. He knew exactly what he was getting into; always had.

He took his wand from the man’s hand, waved it once, and then put it back on the table.

“Is this what you wanted?” Bill asked, as he pushed two fingers into his slick entrance, making him moan. “Not so talkative now, it seems.” Still, the man didn’t answer.

Bill moved his fingers roughly inside him, and slipped another one in after a few moments. He couldn’t wait long.

The man beneath him kept groaning, and pushing his hips back to meet Bill’s fingers, but he used his free hand to keep him in place. He would only get what Bill wanted him to.

After a few moments, Bill pulled his fingers out, hearing a low groan of protest, but then he leaned forward and entered him in one hard thrust. There were no complains this time.

It felt so good to be inside him. It had been weeks since the last time they had been together, and he had missed it. Not just the sex, but also the feeling of having someone able to fight back with him, someone with whom he could let the wolf inside him free.

Bill moved both his hands to the man’s hips, so he could make his thrusts harder, deeper. He watched the man move his arms to the side, gripping the edge of the table, and then pushing back against Bill, the muscles of his back and shoulders tensing as he moved.

He wouldn’t last long, and he knew it. All the previous teasing, the sight before him, and the way he tightened his muscles with every thrusts, was making holding back almost impossible.

He moved one of his arms around the man, and then wrapped his fingers around his erection, stroking him in time with his thrusts. Bill could tell he was close too, by the way he groaned, and pushed into his hand before pushing back against him. He moved his hand faster, changed the angle of his thrusts so he would hit the right spot, and in just a few more moments he was lost.

Bill gritted his teeth when he felt those tight muscles contract around him, but after a few more thrusts he was gone as well, pounding into the other body and groaning by his ear, before they both collapsed on the table.

“Heavy,” the other man groaned after a few moments, both of them still trying to catch their breath.

“Sorry,” Bill muttered, as he pushed himself off the table, and, deciding the chairs were too far away, sat on the floor, still exhausted.

“What are you doing?” Bill asked when he saw him get up, walk to where he had left his clothes, and start getting dressed. He didn’t answer. “Hey,” he called, but he didn’t seem to listen. “Charlie…” he said then, and watched him finally stop what he was doing to turn back to him.

“What?” he asked, and then reached for his wand and fixed the shirt Bill had torn open before.

“What are you doing?” he repeated. He never acted like that, never seemed so eager to just leave.

“I have to go,” he said, and started walking to the door. In just a second, Bill was on his feet and by his side, wrapping his fingers around Charlie’s wrist to stop him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Charlie answered with a sigh, but Bill could tell he was holding something back.

“When you got here, you wanted to talk about something. What was it?” he asked, reaching for his robes when he was sure Charlie wouldn’t leave as soon as he let go of him.

“This has to end,” he said, his voice strong, but Bill could see the sadness that crossed his face, if only for a second.

“What has to end?” he asked, even when he knew what he meant. He wanted to hear him say it.

“This, you and me,” he said, motioning between them.

“Why?” he asked, and it took Charlie a long time to answer.

“I’ve met someone,” he finally said.

“So? It’s not like you haven’t dated since this all started.”

“This time it’s different.”

“How?”

“She’s special, and I want everything to be perfect. I think she might be the one, Bill,” Charlie answered, and he could hear the honesty in his voice.

“The one? How long have you been together?”

“We’re not. I… I just want to do this right, from the beginning.”

“What about us? What about me?” Bill asked, walking back to Charlie and stopping barely a foot away.

“This isn’t right, and we both know it. If I want something with her, this will have to stop.”

“You can’t, Charlie. Remember what it was like before this?” he asked him. “I can’t go back to that. You can’t do this.”

The nights of the full moon had been hell at first. The wolf wasn’t strong enough to take over, but neither was Bill. He kept trying to keep the animal buried inside of him, and that only made things worse. He would be calm one second, enraged the next, throwing things around the room, including furniture, with a strength he didn’t know he possessed. His eyes turned almost golden when that happened, he had been told. He had talked to Remus, but there was nothing the werewolf could do to help; it was different for him. He tried the Wolfsbane potion too, but since he wasn’t completely a werewolf, it didn’t help either.

After a few months, he decided he needed to be alone those nights, not wanting to risk hurting those around him, and bought a small house in the woods; the house that had become the place where he and Charlie met. His brother had turned out to be the only one able to help, and now he was losing that, too.

“I know, and I’m sorry, Bill,” Charlie said, bringing him back to reality. “But you can control it now, it won’t be like before.”

“This is what helps me control it. I can’t…”

“I’m sorry,” Charlie interrupted, “but I have to do this. You’re my brother, and I love you; nothing can change that. I’ll do anything to help you, just not this. You have to understand.”

“Who is she?” Bill asked, trying his best to keep his anger from showing.

“That doesn’t matter.”

“Do I know her?”

“That’s not important, Bill, and it wouldn’t make any difference,” he said sadly, with a shrug. “I need to do this; I need to be with her.”

“You need this too, you want this as much as I do,” he said, and it took Charlie a few moments to answer.

“But I love her,” he said, and they both stayed in silence for a few moments.

“So this is it, then? It’s over?”

“I don’t know,” Charlie answered, with a saddened expression, as he turned around and walked to the door. “Maybe some day, if she understands…”

He stood still as he watched him step out the door and silently close it behind him. Then, he walked back to the window and watched Charlie walk away under the moonlight.

He was stuck in a loveless marriage, with a woman he couldn’t leave. He was in love with someone else, and he knew he could never give her the life she deserved, but he couldn’t live without her either. He needed his brother more than he could explain, but he had lost him, too. Charlie was the only one he felt he could be around during the full moon, their encounters the only thing that helped him keep the wolf inside him under control. He didn’t think he was strong enough to make it on his own.

He heard the faint pop of Apparition, so low no one else would have heard it from where he was standing, and tore his gaze from the now empty path. His eyes settled on the bright, full moon lighting the dark instead, and once again he wondered how such a beautiful thing could make his life so complicated, so dark.