Trouble This Way Cometh

Title: Trouble This Way Cometh

Author: alienangel19852003 with Luny Lovegood from Harry Potter Fanfiction dot com

Summary: Wherever Coco and Oz go trouble is soon to follow. After their abrupt expulsion from Salem School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in America, they continue their education at Hogwarts. Coming from a very relaxed school atmosphere the girls are without manners and skate (literally) threw life on nothing but daring never fearing consequences. Learning a lot from the likes of Luna Lovegood and Harry Potter and also teaching along the way.

Disclaimer: We don’t know, we don’t own, anything but the original characters we dreamed up. This is in no way meant to be a serious attempt at wonderful heartwarming story so please don’t get offended by the occasional character bashing and offbeat themes this story isn’t meant to offend anyone it’s all in good fun. Flames make us stronger. We find them funny. Just review, we take the good we take the bad we take them both and then we have the facts of life.

“She’s a lady and the lady is…Ron’s”

Oz was sleeping soundly when the door to her and Luna’s dorm room was thrust open and a giggling Coco launched herself onto the bed.

“Wake the fuck up.” Coco demanded.

Oz just gave the other girl a shove and she fell backwards through the curtains waking a startled Luna.

“I swear I didn’t have any tea!” the misty eyed blonde screamed.

Oz shot up, “Well, you done woke me up talking all loud in the morning can’t I get some sleep ever?”

“I’m hungry, lets go down to the café and see what they got to eat.” Coco said picking herself up off the floor.

“I could use some coffee to begin the day.” Oz got out bed and pulled a blue and grey beanie over her messy hair.

“You can’t use that to hide your messy sex hair; did Ron Weasley pay you a visit last night?” Coco asked.

“Funny, we can’t all get up at the ass crack of dawn and start primping. And I see you got your do rag on.” Oz said.

“I got get this head right before detention.” Coco said.

“Coco, may I ask why are you in your skivvies walking about?” Luna asked.

Coco looked down at her pajamas which consisted of a leopard camisole with pink lace edges she wore no bra underneath and matching leopard boy shorts pink lace edges. She completed the look with her black fluffy high heeled bedroom slippers.

Oz stumbled out of bed. She was clad in a long t-shirt that reached down her knees she went and grabbed a pair of toe socks that matched her beanie and roughly pulled them on.

“These are my p.j.’s cute huh?” Coco asked doing a twirl.

“Half your bum is showing do you realize that?” Luna asked getting out of bed.

“Yes, do you want to come eat breakfast?” Coco said taking in Luna’s disheveled appearance.

“Why do you wear those pajamas they don’t fit anymore, you could enlarge them with a charm you know.” Oz said.

“Those jammies are real smedium.” Coco said.

“I like them.” Luna looked down at her white unicorn pajamas that now looked like a pair of Bermuda shorts and a tight white t-shirt a unicorn immortalized jumping a rainbow.

“Loony is hiding a little body, those boys better watch out.” Coco laughed.

Luna blushed and tried to cover up her flat stomach.

“There must be someone around that you like.” Oz said slipping her feet into her penguin slippers.

“The way you’re always dazing off into space there’s got to be some hottie that has captured your attention.” Coco said.

“Whatever we can talk on the way, lets get some chow. I needs me some coffee.” Oz said.

“Let’s go let’s go.” Coco said

The trio walked through the empty corridors and headed towards to the Great Hall.

Mean while in Ron and Harry’s room the boys where busy getting ready for breakfast. Harry had changed clothes five times and Ron out did him by changing his clothes a total of six times. They had managed to wake up Dean and Neville arguing over which outfit looked better. They had almost everything the other boys had at hand thrown at them.

Once they’d exited the room, the disgruntled roommates had gone back to sleep, Harry had actually brushed his wild black hair although once he’d left the room it didn’t look like it. Ron thought they’d cleaned up nicely they’d really gone all out to impress the girls.

Ron was wearing a pair of shorts previously owned by one of his taller brothers. It was a pair of low slung shorts that came well past his knees a pair of board shoes he’d gotten from his father and a shirt that was NOT maroon. Harry was wearing a pair of battered jeans and a tight black t-shirt with his best pair of cross trainers. The shirt was borrowed from Dean, and the jeans were hand-me downs just like Ron’s the shoes he’d lucked out and bought in Diagon Alley.

They made their way from the Gryffindor tower and into the Great Hall. It was empty on Saturdays as most of the students liked to sleep in, there was only Hermione and Ginny at the Gryffindor table, a few Ravenclaws at their table pouring over text books, a few Hufflepuff chatting at their table and Malfoy and cronies were at the Slytherin table.

Dumbledore and McGonagall were at the high table, Professors Snape and Fuller were surprisingly absent. Ron didn’t take his usual seat he put space between himself and Hermione Harry sat beside him.

“Hi guys.” Hermione said politely.

“We’re not speaking to you.” Harry said coldly.

“And if we were we’d tell you what a bitch you were last night.” Ron put in already filling his plate with food and his cup with juice.

“What about how you behaved with those American floozies? You were practically all over them or vice versa. You deserved the punishment you got. It’s a pity that we got points deducted on the first day.” Hermione said.

“I will tell you one time and one time only Hermione. Those girls are NOT floozies or anything of the sort, you’re just a prude. You’re jealous and uptight. You need to get over yourself and give people a chance.” Harry said.

“I won’t waste my time talking to the two of you obviously the idea of getting laid has clouded your judgment.” Hermione reopened her book.

“Those girls are nothing but trouble.” Ginny said, “One day back and they’ve got you serving detention. Imagine having them here for a whole semester.”

“Honestly boys they are just playing with you.” Hermione said.

“Hello, hello…from the conversation I’ve just heard it seems you’ve missed us.” Coco said sweeping over to the table.

The group gaped at her outfit or lack there of.

“I am appalled again by your brazenness. You are NAKED!” Hermione said.

“Quit hating.” Coco said taking a seat beside Harry.

“I like the outfit.” Harry smirked.

“Stop thinking with your penis,” Oz said taking a seat next to Ron and swinging her legs over his.

“Hi Ginny, lovely day isn’t it.” Luna said.

Ron was blushing brightly, “’Morning.”

“Sup, what you got on my coffee.” Oz asked with a smirk.

Ron made haste pouring her coffee.

“You’re completely pussy whipped!” Hermione exclaimed.

“How can he be pussy whipped, I ain’t gave him none yet.” Oz said.

“Yet being the key word.” Coco said.

“What can I get you ladies to eat?” Harry offered.

“I’ll get myself a bagel later.” Oz grunted burying her nose in the cup of coffee.

“I’ll just have toast.” Coco said, “And bacon.”

“And pancakes, and sausage.” Coco continued and Harry went to filling her plate with everything she requested.

“Porridge?” he asked.

“Yeah, oatmeal is better than no meal.” Coco said.

Harry laughed, “And what about you Luna.”

“Call me Loony. Oz said that Luna is my slave name.” Luna said looking serious as the table dissolved in laughter.

“Oh hell no, not even two days and you’ve done corrupted that girl. I take it you got her high last night?” Coco asked.

“Nah, I ain’t got that far yet. We cranked some tunes. I took out my jam box and we listened to some good shit.” Oz said.

“You are pathetic, you know that.” Ginny sneered.

“Ginny, you really don’t want to go there.” Harry said.

“Peep game Ginny Baby.” Coco said cocking her head to the side, “I don’t play them games, and if you want to throw down we can go outside.”

“Could you at least not murder the English language with every sentence at least?” Hermione asked, “It’s bad enough I’ve got to see you just about naked at this hour in the morning.”

“You don’t have to stay here if you don’t feel comfortable, in fact I think you should leave.” Harry suggested.

“If you want to chose some trollips over your real friends that’s fine with me. Don’t come crying when she breaks your heart.” Ginny said storming off.

“I agree with her, how could you do this. Harry you know that girl is in love with you.” Hermione said.

“I don’t see Ginny like that I’ve told her, there can be nothing more than friendship between us.” Harry said.

“I’m glad about that. I don’t want to think about you snogging my sister.” Ron said.

“Have you ever thought that I wouldn’t want to see you snogging her?” Hermione asked pointing a finger at Oz.

“Bloody hell Hermione, what am I supposed to say to that?” Ron asked

“Say nothing Ron like you always do.” Hermione said over her shoulder as she walked.

“I didn’t know that you and her were together.” Oz said as she removed her legs from Ron and swiftly walked to the Slytherin table where Malfoy was sitting watching the Gryffindor table.

“I have decided that if you dropped the aristocratic act I might give you a chance but see you would have to be my bitch.” Oz told him.

“No deal, Malfoys do not bow to any woman. No matter how remarkable she may be.” Draco said in his slow drawl.

“You’re not running shit, admit the truth and I’ll give you a chance.” Oz said looking up as she heard the sound of Coco’s heels on the floor Ron and Harry were walking briskly to keep up with the short girl who walked very fast despite her attire and the heels she wore.

“Oz, I know what you’re thinking, but they are not together.” Coco said.

“How do you know that?” Ron asked, “You didn’t give me a chance to explain before you both ran off. I am not dating Hermione.”

“I have many talents Ron.” Coco replied with a smirk.

“You promised me no more mind invasions!” Oz said.

“I had to…I had to make sure he wouldn’t lie.” Coco said.

“What did you do to me?” Ron demanded.

“I’m skilled in penetrating the mind.” Coco said.

“What? You went plundering though my mind?” Ron asked.

Harry was laughing, “You actually found something in that empty head of his.”

“Don’t laugh it ain’t funny. I wasn’t using it to invade your privacy, I was just looking out for my girl. I want to know if your intentions with her are true. And they are.” Coco said with a smile.

“And for my intentions?” Harry asked.

“You’re good and noble to the core, but you won’t be when I get done with you Harry Potter.” Coco smirked.

“What about us? We were having a conversation, before these Gryffindorks showed up.” Malfoy drawled.

“Listen, Malferret–” Ron began.

“–Until you sort things out with Hermione we have nothing to discuss.” Oz stated firmly to Ron.

“That is some get up…” a boy down the table from Draco said eyeing Coco.

“Don’t go looking at her like that Tron…” Harry growled.

“She’s one of us. They might want real men instead of some Blood Traitors and Half-breeds like you.” Tron said lifting his chin haughtily his brown eyes boring into Harry’s green ones.

“I think we can chose who we want to hang out with thank you very much Tron is it?” Coco asked.

“Megalus Tron of the house of Tron.” The boy stated arching his shoulders back trying to look imposing but the name was too funny for him to succeed.

“Mega Tron…” Oz chuckled.

“You must get a lot of crap for that…” Coco said as she and Harry laughed as well.

“I thought it was funny when I met him.” Harry said.

“What’s in a name? I’d deny my father and refuse it for a chance with any one of you girls.” Megalus said.

“Semi quoting Shakespeare impressive, but I’m not into English literature.” Oz said, “Have you read any Stephen King, some Dean Koontz? Until you do we have nothing to discuss.”

“Who?” Ron asked.

“Muggle writers of this century.” Harry explained, “I’ve got a couple of books I can lend you, more of Dudley’s hand-me downs.”

“I’m going to get right on that, but first I must speak to Hermione.” Ron said as he went to go find the bushy haired witch in question.

“My word! Young lady explain to me at once what you are wearing.” Minerva swept over them with a swish of robes.

“These are my jammies, you like them I can give you the web site where I ordered them from.” Coco said giving a twirl.

“Whoa!” Harry said admiring the back view once more.

“That’s nothing more than knickers!” the woman said outdone.

“That’s what I said.” Luna said she’d been quiet the whole time having crept up behind the other three.

“Loony’s got a bod. I like.” Draco said.

Luna blushed crossing her hand over her stomach.

“Come along at once Ms. Collins.” Minerva yanked her by the ear.

“Ow…watch the bling bling, Minerva…” Coco winced and allowed herself to

“Peace out yo. Can I borrow your board I want to teach Loony how to roll?” Oz asked.

“Sure.” Coco shouted.

“Okay, peep game Draco. I’mma check you in a few I’m going to go change I need you to let me into Coco’s room. I heard you were one of those Defects or whatever. I know you got them keys.” Oz said walking out the Great Hall with Luna in tow.

Minerva shoved Coco into Dumbledore’s office after whispering the password and the doors came open.

Coco was released from her death hold, and she looked around the office there was a phoenix in the corner sitting majestically on its post. The room smelled of incense.

“We must talk about your behavior here these past few days.” The old wizard had stepped into the room and Coco barely noticed.

“It has been brought to my attention that you refer the professors at Salem by their by their first names. If it makes you feel more comfortable here you may do so.” The old wizard walked over to his desk with a swish of his purple robes.

“You cool with that Minerva?” Coco asked.

Minerva’s lips thinned and she looked at Dumbledore, “If you wish it so…”

“We require our students to wear proper dress at all times. Take away whatever points you wish Professor assign whatever punishments you like. Go get dressed Miss Collins.” Dumbledore said.

“Twenty five points from Slytherin and you’ll serve detention from Monday through Friday for the vulgar display you’ve shown today.” Minerva stated, “Go to your room and get dressed immediately.”

“See ya later Minerva, thanks Head Massa…” Coco said walking from the room.

Coco was dressed and sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room sitting with Harry and the Weasley twins who were regaling her with tales of their time at Hogwarts.

Ron walked in sometime later red-faced.

“She slapped me.” Ron stated sitting down next to Coco.

“You might have deserved it.” Harry smiled.

“Did I lead her on? Did I in anyway make it seem I wanted to be anything more than friends with her?” Ron asked.

“She was kind of expecting, we all were. You’d be a decent match.” George shrugged.

“But there are plenty of other girls out there, that don’t have more hair on their top lip than I do.” Ron said.

“She’s going to have to wax that shit.” Coco said, “I’m going to do it for her. She can’t be walking around with a mustache.”

“She’s got her face buried in a book some people would hardly notice.” Harry shrugged.

“I wonder what Oz and Luna have gotten up to since breakfast…” Coco said.

“Well, let’s find out, I’d like to speak with Oz anyway.” Ron said.

“See if you can get us some cannabis will you?” Fred asked.

“I reckon we should be knackered during detention.” George smirked.

“If Drew is anything like Lockhart we’ll need it.” Harry said.

“Drew Baby is real cool though.” Coco said.

“Is he?” Ron asked.

“I don’t want to talk about him.” Harry said.

“Alright, we can talk about something else.” Coco said, as they left the common room, “Are you jealous of him?”

“No!” Harry said indignantly his ears turning as red as Ron’s hair.

“Lies.” Coco said.

“Stop that.” Harry said.

“Oz had to learn Occlumency to keep me out. Maybe she’ll teach you too but it wouldn’t be any fun for me though.” Coco said as they made their way outside.

Luna was riding the skate board better than Harry imagined, he remembered when Dudley was learning how to ride, the boy managed to break three skateboards before giving up completely.

Oz was doing some tricks that caused Ron and Harry to gape while Luna was just speeding along grinning madly with her arms stretched out. She gave a quick wave, not noticing the tree and ran smack into it landing hard on the grass.

They rushed over to see if the blonde Ravenclaw was alright to find her laughing hysterically on the ground.

“These things are too much fun you really ought to try riding one.” Luna said once her laughter subsided and Harry and Coco had helped her off the ground.

“Sup.” Oz said getting off her board and walking over to join them.

“I talked to Hermione.” Ron blurted staring at Oz.

“And?” she asked.

“He got the shit slapped out of him.” Coco said laughing.

“That can’t be good,” Luna said.

“Trust me it wasn’t but I think we cleared things up and she won’t be bothering you anymore.” Ron said.

“Like that bushy haired mustache having girl is a problem.” Coco said.

“She can get you several detentions and take away a good many house points.” Ron pointed out.

“If I get to spend detentions with Harry I’ll be fine. And fuck Slytherin. I don’t give a damn about no House Cup, I want Gryffindor to win.” Coco said.

“I think that might be the best thing that ever happened to Gryffindor. Slytherin won for several years before Harry came along.” Ron said.

“Does make it a bit easier for us to win with the two of you losing house points, you wouldn’t have any rebellious sisters to be placed in Hufflepuff would you?” Harry joked.

“Oz has a little bro. But he’s a goody-goody.” Coco said.

“Oh a keener. I’ve got two brothers like that they never let me live down the flying car incident.” Ron said.

“A flying car! That’s cool, do you still have it?” Oz asked.

“Sadly, no we lost it in the forbidden forest.” Ron said.

“Too bad magic carpets are banned here. My mom has so many of those things.” Coco said.

“It’s nearly time for dinner.” Ron said.

“How do you know?” Oz asked.

“My stomach is telling me it’s time to eat.” Ron said.

“I hate hearing your stomach talk when I’m trying to sleep at night.” Harry said as they made their way back inside and to the Great Hall.

Everyone went to their own house tables because no one wanted anymore detention. Afterwards they met up with all those who’d been sentenced to detention that night. They headed to the DADA classroom, where Minerva and Drew were waiting.

“Sup Minerva.” Oz chorused.

Minerva’s lips thinned but she didn’t say anything.

“Hey Drew Baby…” Coco said with shy wave that made Harry hold tighter to her other hand and scowl at the professor.

“Hello everyone, Miss Collins.” Drew said smiling.

“Call me Coco, this here is Oz, Loony, Harry, Ron, and Twin. I don’t know these other folks like talking bout.” Coco said.

“Sup.” Oz said throwing up a peace sign.

“Word.” The twins mumbled.

“Now that the introductions are done, I’ll leave you to it. I’m glad to see everyone came. Mr. Longbottom tuck in that shirt.” Minerva said.

“Y–yes, Professor.” Neville said doing what he was told.

“Weasleys,” Minerva said walking away.

“Come in don’t be shy, I’m not like one of the other boring professors, I’m pretty laid back. I’m not going to have you polishing sliver or scrubbing caldrons or writing lines. I’m going to make you watch a little film. Take a seat one close to the front if you prefer however the back seats are best for maximum sleeping.” Drew explained.

“We call dibs,” The twins ran for the seats in the back.

“We’re going to watch a Muggle movie?” Ron asked.

“It’s called Voodoo Academy, I starred in a couple of years back.” Drew said.

“Seven years back.” Oz tried to cover her words with a cough.

Coco and Harry laughed Ron looked confused.

The professor set up the TV and DVD player, “If you don’t feel like watching just chill I don’t care I’m going into my private rooms.”

Ron, Harry, Coco and Oz moved four of the remaining desks closer together. Neville and Luna watched with rapt interest, Seamus and Dean were playing Exploding Snap in the corner, while Fred and George had already struck up a conversations about their plans for the next night.

In a few moments time Coco had become bored with Ron and Harry’s explanation of Wizard’s Chess to Oz. Her attention drifted toward the conversation Fred and George were having.

“It’s simple a bloody first year could understand it, we’ll just sneak out by the westward corridor while Filtch is singing Mrs. Norris her lullaby at half past ten. And then we make our way down to the club and then we can meet those fine witches.” George explained.

“What were their names again?” Fred asked.

“What does it matter? Patronus is going to be bloody brilliant.” George said.

“I just don’t want to call them by the wrong names is all.” Fred said.

“There’s a club near here? Where is it?” Coco asked loudly which brought everyone except Luna and Neville who were engrossed in the film out of their conversations.

“It’s called Patronus, its just opened up and we were going to check it out no reason to alert the Daily Prophet.” George said.

“I want to go to the club.” Coco whined, “I’m getting junk itch just thinking about it.”

“I told you never to say that, it sounds like you have hygiene problems of some kind. Crabs specifically.” Oz said.

“I want to go to the club, Harry will you take me?” Coco whined using a sweet voice and her soft brown eyes.

“I would if I knew how to get there.” Harry said wondering what the girl would get up to on the dance floor.

“Wanna go?” Oz asked Ron.

“Could be fun.” Ron shrugged trying not to seem too eager.

“It’s in Hogsmeade Village.” Fred explained, “We’re going tomorrow I guess you could come with.”

“This isn’t a field trip, I’m not holding your hands. I’m not your mum.” George said.

“You a beast maiyne. I gotta give you props for that one.” Coco said.

“Props? What are those and when will I get them?” George asked.

“Chill G-Money it’s just an expression.” Oz explained.

“Alright, G-Money I like the sound of that.” George asked getting a far away look in his eyes.

“How can you tell them apart I’ve known them for years and I still can’t.” Harry said.

“They look nothing alike.” Oz snorted, “G-Money has a freckle on his nose that looks like Hoboken and F-Baby don’t.”

“Oh…” Harry said, “Hoboken?”

“New Jersey…didn’t you ever take geography?” Oz asked.

“It’s in the Garden State.” Coco said, “It looks like a dumpster over there.”

“Not a nice place to visit?” Ron asked.

“Not in the slightest.” Oz said, “But New York is off the chain.”

“I like her too.” Coco said, referring to a completely different New York.

“So tomorrow night meet us in the westward corridor at half past ten.” George said, “If you’re not there we’ll leave without you. I’m getting laid no matter what.”

“Even if it’s with a dirty slut…” Coco sang.

“True love is what I want the most…” Oz finished.

“What are you girls on?” Fred asked, “I’d like to have some.”

“We can smoke some right now if you want F-Baby.” Oz said bringing her pipe up from her massive cargo pocket.

“I got some joints rolled if anybody wanna hit those.” Coco offered.

“I’ve never tried it rolled.” Harry said wistfully.

“We’ll I’m going to have to take your cherry with everything won’t I?” Coco said with a wink.

“I hope so.” Harry said.

In no time the room was filled with smoke and it was more than enough to lure even Luna and Neville from the movie, by the time Drew walked back in the room the pipe and the leftover roaches were put away, and they were quite a mellow bunch. Time has passed quickly, and everyone decided Luna was quite funny when she was stoned.

“Times up, I hope you enjoyed tonight’s presentation. You can go back to your common rooms now.” Drew said.

“Can I walk you to your room?” Harry asked Coco as Luna and Oz skated off down the hall leaving a dizzy Ron in their wake.

“Certainly,” Coco said taking his hand and they walked down to the dungeons.

“I really like spending time with you even if it’s in detention.” Harry said.

“Re–” Coco was cut off by his lips colliding with hers.

She kissed back fervently tangling her hands in his dark hair.

Oz was once more awakened by Coco entering her room humming loudly.

“Shut up. I swear I hit the snooze button.” Oz mumbled burying herself under a mountain of covers.

“I don’t have a snooze button, too bad. Get up! I’ve got a lot to do and a little time to do it in. You’d best drag your lazy ass out of bed and get some lunch before I start the arduous process of turning you into a girl.” Coco said.

“Crazy bitch say what?” Oz asked, “I am a girl, not the conventional definition of femenity but who is?”

“An intellectual debate stir you?” Coco asked.

“Yes, and coffee.” Oz said.

“Both of which I happen to have,” Coco brandished a thermos of coffee, “Now get your white ass up.”

“I was up all night,” Oz grumbled.

“Doing what? Reading one your text books. I ain’t got time to hear about your academics what we need to talk about is them Gryffindor mens.” Coco said.

“I did a lot of talking with Luna on the subject, it appears she’s got a crush on our favorite blonde bitch boy.” Oz said.

“Uh uh.” Coco said.

“Mmmhmmm. Yes in damn deed.” Oz said.

“I guess she’s into the pale boys. You like red heads with freckles.” Coco said.

“I just want to see if he’s got a fire crotch; it’s for the interest of science.” Oz said.

“Sounds like it’s for the interest of your vajj.” Coco said.

“I like him.” Oz said.

“Really, I didn’t notice. I know you like you a bitch boy.” Coco said.

“I want someone take care me. I’m a bum dude. He could like hold my books and load my pipe and bring me my dranks.” Oz said, “And we could make out from time to time.”

“A reward for your cute red head boyfriend.” Coco said.

“I don’t use the term boyfriend, I use the term bitch remember that.” Oz said.

“Harry kissed me.” Coco squealed clapping her hands.

“Yay you.” Oz said less than cheerful as she nearly drowned herself in coffee.

“I know right.” Coco said.

“I smell coffee. And bagels.” Luna said rolling over.

“Coffee gone, have at the bagels.” Oz tossed her a bagel which she didn’t react to catch it simply hit the blonde upside the head and rolled on to the floor.

Luna dived after it dusted it off and ate it, “God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt.”

“That’s just wrong, two days and you’ve turned her into a blonde you.” Coco said.

“I’ve got that affect on people, I grow on people cause I have the mind control. I’m going to be president boss dawg running shit one day. You feel me knocking.” Oz asked.

“Yeah.” Coco said.

“Well let me in.” Oz said.

“You’ve had your coffee and your bagel now it’s time to do something about them heads, yeah Loony you coming too. I got a maiyne for your girl.” Coco said.

“Not Colin Creepy.” Luna shuddered.

“No, your dream date.” Coco smirked.

“You told her?” Luna asked turning red.

“How are you going to do that?” Oz said.

“You know me I got this shit on lock.” Coco said, “We’ve got a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it.

Coco walk to the door and grabbed her bag dragging it over to where Oz was now standing looking quite disgruntled. Coco ignored the glares she was being given and started pulling her tools out some of them which looked to be some sort of mid-evil torture devices.

“You all need to go take a bath ya’ll funky. You smell like weed and farts.” Coco said pointing to the bathroom door.
Both Luna and Oz smelled their under arms and shrugged.

“It must be your upper lip” Oz said walking as slow as possible to the bathroom

While the girl where in the shower Coco busied herself with heating up curling irons and pulling out her twelve pounds of make-up in all shades. She had bought make-up for Oz a while back and this was the time to use it. The shit would work for Luna also she was pale as hell too.

Once the girls returned, Coco pounced on them starting with giving them some scented body creams in assorted flavors that Oz had mixed up for her.

“Try these lotions and potions, no man can resist the smell of a clean and sexy woman.” Coco said knowingly.

Luna shrugged and applied the proffered cream.

“I know they stank like I made them remember, and I’ll take grape.” Oz said grumpily, “I’m going to smell like a winery.”

“You can have peaches then Luna. I’m going to be wearing a light chocolate glaze like I always do. My mama didn’t raise no fool, no man can resist some dark chocolate taste unless he’s allergic and then we’ll have a problem. But I seen Harry eating a chocolate frog so I know what’s up.” Coco said.

“Are you done with your boring soliloquy?” Oz asked.

“Now, we’re going to do something with you’re head. Loony you’re cool some ringlets or something will work just fine for you. But Oz take that damn beanie off and show me what you working with.” Coco said.

“It’s still wet.” Oz said pulling the beanie off.

“Yow! And it’s nappier than mine when I take my weave out.” Coco said.

“It’s not nappy it just hasn’t been brushed since we were at the airport. When you wanted go see King Charles and them.” Oz said.

“I could have been a Queen if we didn’t get thrown out. Prince Harry would have gone for me. But I got me another Harry now.” Coco smile dreamily.

“So is he a good kisser?” Oz asked.

Coco grabbed a brush and forced Oz to sit much like Minerva had on the sorting stool.

“Hell yeah, he was shy though I had to get him to loosen up first.” Coco said.

“Of course.” Oz shrugged.

Coco ran the brush through Oz wet tangled brown hair a few times getting stuck only slightly until she hit a mass of tangles in the end breaking the brush completely.

“Oh hell no you broke brushy brush…” Coco said.

“You named your brush?” Luna asked.

“Yeah.” Coco said as if it were common place to name beauty supplies.

“Just cast a detangling charm and get it over with, I don’t want to be posted up in this room all damn day.” Oz said.

Coco cast the charm, “Curls or retro straight.”

“You pick.” Oz said.

“Straight.” Coco said.

“Up or down none of that ponytail shit.” Coco said.

“I don’t know nothing about being a girl who combs her hair.” Oz said.

“Down definitely.” Coco said.

“Am I done yet?” Oz asked.

“What am I going to do about that damn streak?” Coco asked.

“Nothing. I like it.” Oz said.

“Fine. Now we’re on to your make up.” Coco said pinning Oz’s hair back and laying the foundation for the make up.

“You actually have great skin,” Coco said.

“That’s cause I don’t put toxins into my skin on a daily basis and complain about my pores all day.” Oz said.

“What kind of eye shadow you want?” Coco asked.

“What in the hell is eye shadow?” Oz and Luna asked.

“You see this sliver shit over my eyes. That’s what that do.” Coco said.

“I don’t want that sliver shit, give me black.” Oz said.

“Close your eyes bitch and quit squirming I’m not going to poke your eye out. Relax and I’ll be done in a minute.” Coco said.

“Are you done yet?” Oz asked for the fifteenth time during her makeover.

“Now I am. Blot your lips.” Coco said.

After finishing with Luna who didn’t protest nearly as much Coco’s phone chirped and she finally glanced at the time.

“Oh hell no it’s eight thirty, I’ve only got two hours to get you dressed and myself but I ain’t got to do much to this masterpiece.” Coco said.

“Masterpiece my ass.” Oz said.

“No my ass is a masterpiece. When you learn how to make your booty clap you’ve achieved a level all your own.” Coco said.

“Where the clothes at?” Oz asked.

“Do you really think I’m dragging three trunks up from the dungeons we’ve got to go down there, and I suggest you practice walking in these heels.” Coco said.

Luna’s practice in the heels with a book on her head had ended in blood and some tears mostly from Coco of her ruined work but a refreshing charm fixed everything.

“Why in the world are all your shoes like two sizes to small?” Oz asked.

“What you talking?” Coco asked.

“I know you wear the same size as me why am I stuffing my foot in a five and half?” Oz asked.

“Men like women with small shoes, not necessarily small feet.” Coco explained.

“How can you stand those things on your feet?” Oz asked.

“I put a charm on myself I’ll put on you too if you stand still and quit your bitching and moaning.” Coco said before casting the charm.

“Now that’s more like it,” Oz said stumbling down the stairs.

“Quit walking like a dude. I think you’re going to scratch your balls at any moment and spit some tobacco out.” Coco said.

“It’s not that bad.” Oz said grumpily.

An hour later they were all dressed, Luna was wearing a skin tight red number with high red peep toe stiletto’s her butter beer corks still around her neck much to Coco’s distaste her features subtly played up by shiny sliver eye shadow and her lips were a fire engine red like her dress, her blonde hair in tight sexy curls sprawling down her back like a waterfall.

Oz was wearing a black halter dress with hot pink lace at the bottom it was extremely short and she felt rather exposed with out the two sports bras she normally wore to hide her ample bosom. Her eye shadow was smoky and her lips were lined and covered in gloss. Her hair was glossy and perfect not a tangle in sight and it hung down covering her bare shoulders. Her feet clad in pink and black stiletto pumps that made her even taller than she normally was. All in all she’s a lady.

Coco was wearing a once piece denim halter dress with a gold belt, gold eyes shadow and matching gold pumps. The dress flared out with ruffles at the top of her thighs. She wore the most ornate gold hoop earrings she could find.

It was nine thirty when they came up from the dungeons and low and behold they run into none other than Hermione and Ginny coming from the library.

“I see you’ve got Luna working the corner with you tonight.” Ginny sneered.

“Call me Loony, Luna is my slave name. I told you once before Ginerva.” Luna said.

“Ginerva!” Oz and Coco shouted before dissolving to the floor in laughter.

“Is that really your name?” Coco asked between laughs.

“Yes,” Ginny turned extremely red.

“It’s better than Coco I’m sure.” Hermione said.

“My mama had better since than to name me after a damn cartoon.” Coco said, “And she did teach me how to comb my hair you look like a fucking lama.”

Hermione gasped, “Where are you really going?”

“Mind your business lady.” Coco said walking away briskly and the other girls followed.

“What’s this plan involving Draco?” Oz asked.

Coco smirked and pulled a burlap sack and some rope out of her Louis Vutton purse.

“You wrong for that.” Oz said.

“I know. But it’ll be alright.” Coco said, “I’ll need to distract him Loony will keep look out and I’ll slip this over his head and she’ll tie him up. You feel me knocking.”

“Yes.” Luna responded.

“Cool.” Oz shrugged.

“Well open up. He’s in the westward corridor anyways. He’s got defect duty. Ron’s got the night off. Harry told me everything.” Coco said.

“Let’s go find him then, I want to get my jiggy on.” Luna said dancing around a little.

“Don’t you ever, EVER say that again Loony. It’s wrong. Sick and wrong. In so many ways.” Oz said.

Footsteps up ahead signaled another’s presence.

“It’s Draco I can feel his thoughts. He’s a pervert.” Coco said.

“That doesn’t surprise me. I bet his daddy touches him.” Oz said.

“Get his attention and I’m going to creep on the left. Flirt with him.” Coco suggested, “Pretend to be a lady for minute.”

“I can do that,” Oz readjusted her breasts.

“Oh Draco!” she called waving to the figure in the dark.

He turned and Coco dragged Luna out of sight.

Five minutes later the three girls were dragging a bound and gagged Draco Malfoy over to where Ron, Fred, George, and Harry were standing.

“What have you done? That better not be sodding Filtch in there.” Ron said.

“Nope it’s Loony’s date.” Coco said, “Will you help us, he’s awful heavy and he keeps thrashing around like a pussy.”

Fred and George effortlessly toted the bundle that was a protesting Malfoy, while Harry and Ron checked out the girls, they were speechless gaping and redfaced.

All three girls were adjusting their low cut strapless tops on their dresses and the boys were practically salivating.

“Where did you get those?” Ron asked pointing at Oz’s chest.

“Never judge a book by it’s cover play boy. You never know what somebody is hiding.” Oz said.

“I like your shoes.” Harry tried and failed to look at anything but Coco’s cleavage.

“You can look but wouldn’t it be more fun to touch them, but later yo we gotta get going.” Coco said.

“You clean up nice to Luna, I mean Loony.” Ron said not in the mood for another tongue lashing about slave names.

Ron offered his arm to Oz who looked at Coco for help.

“Girl, remember what I told you.” Coco said.

“Fine.” Oz said as they stepped outside, Fred and George were halfway down the hill waiting for them.

“It’s a chilly night a girl could get cold…” Coco said.

“How about if a guy were to put his arm around the cold girl?” Harry said.

“That’ll do.” Coco said as he wrapped his arms around her.

“A–are you cold?” Ron asked Oz.

“Yeah, give me your coat playa.” Oz said and Ron shed his jacket revealing a white button up shirt which he’d left open revealing a thin line of red hair on his chest.

He slipped it around her shoulders.

“Well, that answers that question.” Oz said.

“What question?” Ron asked.

“Nothing I’m still not completely a hundred percent on my answer. I think more research is in order.” Oz explained, following behind Harry who Coco had convinced to piggy back her down the hill.

Luna trailed behind looking spacey.

George and Fred unceremoniously dropped the bundle on the ground.

“Who is this guy?” they asked.

“He owns this wand.” Luna said producing a very familiar looking wand.

“Malfoy!” Harry shouted scowling.

“Why does he have to come along?” Ron asked.

“We hate that guy.” Harry said.

“Draco is here for Loony, mind ya business that girl need some dick in her life too.” Coco said.

“Everybody need a little play every now and then.” Oz said.

“The feeling is mutual Potter.” Malfoy smirked dusting his expensive clothing off.

“You let him out?” Ron asked.

“We got bored.” Fred shrugged.

“Are you going to behave since F-Baby and G-Money let your crybaby ass out of that bag?” Coco asked.

“I could tell Snape and McGonagall and get you expelled.” Draco said, “But this seems like it could be an interesting evening, I never pictured you Gryffindorks to pull of such a caper.”

“You’ll come.” Luna said hopefully.

“What the hell, I could get some good blackmail material out of this. You’ll be cleaning my caldrons for weeks.” Malfoy smirked.

“Listen Malferret, no games there will be nothing but a fun night out. We promised these ladies a nice time. And I’m going to see to it that they have it.” Ron said.

Malfoy nodded and the group walked the rest of the way to Patronus in silence, you could hear the annoying Muggle techno music a mile away. There was a goblin at the door wearing a leather vest a protruding nipple ring visible.

“Let me see your ID’s.” it growled.

Harry and Ron shared panicked looks, Coco was calm as ever as she slid eight ID’s across the table one for each of them.

“Is that all you need?” she asked.

“Go on in.” it said and she slinked past him dragging Harry with her.

Strobe lights blared in his eyes and he felt disoriented for a moment, but apparently Coco knew were she was going. She led him to a booth in a back Fred and George parted ways with the six who went to the table. They left the company of the younger kids for a two leggy blonde twin witches.

Draco took a seat the table, “I can’t believe I haven’t heard about this place. How did you discover it?”

“Mind your business we’re here to drink and dance not to be interrogated.” Coco said.

“Okay who’s buying the first round?” Coco looked between Harry and Draco.

“I’ll go first.” Draco sighed, “I’d like to see the lot of you hammered. If only I had a camera like Colon Creepy…”

Luna giggled, “Colon, I like that… he is creepy. He asks me out every week.”

“I can see why…” Draco muttered looking at Luna’s dressed.

Oz slid into the booth Ron followed suit.

“My feet be hurting.” Oz said kicking her shoes off.

“I see you motherfucker I see you.” Coco said, “Don’t lose them shoes, they Jimmy Choos.”

“I won’t.” Oz said.

“Good…” Coco said.

“Come on Draco we buying some dranks.” Coco said dragging the blonde boy from the booth.

“You know I’ve never drank before.” Oz said.

“I’m going to get you and Loony the same thing you’ll love it. What about you guys?” Coco asked Ron and Harry.

“Fire Whisky and keep them coming.” Ron mumbled.

“Alright.” Coco said pulling Draco to the bar.

They returned Draco was carrying the drinks and Coco was sipping her own.

“It’s hard to figure out the Wizarding equivalent of a Long Island Iced Tea, but I did it.” Coco said grabbing Luna and Oz’s drinks off the tray Draco was holding.

“Can I set this down, Malfoy’s serve no one.” He grumbled.

“Tonight you ain’t a Malfoy, you’re just D-Murder. Remember that…” Coco said.

“Oddly, I like the nickname.” Draco said, “I’ve always hated Pansy’s little pet names for me. But this I like.”

Harry bought the next round of drinks as the ones Draco bought were quickly consumed. Oz was halfway finished with her second drink when she pulled Ron out on the floor.

“I want to dance!” she shouted over the music.

Harry and Coco were already on the dance floor grinding to some song with a throbbing beat. Draco was left at the table with Luna. Luna drunkenly stumbled over to Draco.

“I wanna tell you a secret…” she slurred missing the seat by a mile and falling straight over her legs shooting up in the air, giving Draco a flashing view of her pink panties.

He rushed to help up the giggling girl.

“What’s that?” he asked equally giddy his father would be so ashamed, Malfoys were known for holding their liquor they weren’t known for falling all over giddy Ravenclaws either.

He decided he was not a Malfoy tonight; he was D-Murder that was simple enough. While he was doing all that thinking Luna had wound her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. He liked electric sensation of her lips on his warmth spreading right to his groin. He gripped her hips and pulled her closer. He didn’t care if she felt her affect on him or not.

On the dance floor Harry and Coco were doing a dance called the Cupid Shuffle. Harry was somewhat a savant at dancing. He picked up easily following her every move, though he much rather preferred the grinding. He was hot sweaty and completely turned on, something he’d never bothered to hide. He’d had about six Fire Whiskeys and was quite hammered by this time.

Ron and Oz were near the wall Oz was dancing against Ron who hadn’t picked up on the American style dancing and was just flailing his arms about and rocking with her. He was sure the girl could feel how much he appreciated the night’s events but she was too buzzed to care.

Finally a slow song came on and Oz led him out on the floor once more, looping her arms around his neck and he moved awkwardly with her. Harry and Coco were a bit more R rated with their dancing, Coco had her legs wrapped around his waist and he had his hands firmly planted on her booty as they moved to the music.

When the song ended, Coco complained her feet were hurting so the two couples left the dance floor to find Draco and Luna in a rather compromising position. Luna was on his lap biting his neck and he was fondling her bared breasts, Coco sprang into action. Pulling a dazed and protesting Luna off his lap and she and Oz dragged her to the bathroom.

Coco started explaining to a drunken Luna about morals, “You giving up the goods to easily, if we hadn’t stopped you. You’d be knocked up before we got home.”

“I don’t feel so good.” Luna said before she lurched and puked all over the sink she was sitting on.

A few cleansing charms later they were dragging an unconscious Luna out of the restroom and coming face to face with their DADA professor who was exiting the men’s room with two disgruntled brunette witches behind him.

“Uh oh busted…” Oz muttered as she and Coco tried to steer Luna back into the bathroom.

“Fancy running into you girl’s here. You haven’t learned your lessons have you?” Drew asked.

“We’ll get right on that.” Coco said.

“I’m not going to rat you out, I’m heading back to the school. I’ve got to teach first years bright and early. What a joy.” He said sarcastically, “Do you need a lift I trust your little boyfriends are some where around here.”

“We’d be glad for a lift I don’t think we can carry this drunk bitch up the hill.” Oz said.

“I can’t walk back up there if I wanted to, which I don’t.” Coco said.

They collected the sleepy and still drunk boys and the left with the professor. He led them to a carriage parked just outside Hogsmeade station. The ride to the school was uneventful, though Drew kept trying to make conversation and was told to mind his business.

Draco had to carry a still passed out Luna up to her room which he didn’t mind, while Coco and Oz walked their boys back to Gryffindor. Harry and Coco were resting against the wall kissing passionately while Ron tried to stutter out a goodnight.

He got up the courage to kiss Oz but his aim was off and they bumped heads.
She laughed.

“You’re mean.” He said.

“Would a mean girl do this?” she asked placing her hands on either side of his head guiding him down into a kiss she initiated.

“No, but a lady would.” He said smiling.

She kissed him again slower with more passion than the first kiss.

“You are officially my bitch.” Oz said walking away.

“I was your bitch before we even got on the train.” Ron called after her.

“Night bitch. Bring your ass Coco.” Oz shouted.

“Bye Harry.” Coco said with one final grope to Harry’s now thoroughly fondled erection.

They entered the common room where they ran into a furious Hermione who sat in the dark her figure illuminated by the fire.

“Ronald Billus Weasley where on Earth have you been it’s three in the morning and we’ve got classes in the morning.” Hermione exclaimed.

“Mione you could wake the dead with how loud you’re screeching.” Ron said disgruntled about being brought out of his Oz induced trance.

Harry tried to slip past the bushy haired witch.

“And how could you let him do this Harry, you could get expelled or worse.” Hermione said.

“Night Hermione, you aren’t going to kill my buzz.” Harry said leaving her to yell at Ron.

“You went out with those sluts didn’t you, two days and they have you losing your mind. They don’t belong in our world Ron.” Hermione said.

“That’s just the way the Slytherins talk about Muggle Borns or have you forgotten. Last time I checked I have a mum, and your name isn’t Molly Weasley goodnight Hermione.” Ron said walking up to his dorm.