Fighting For My Love And Right

He woke up with a headache that could annoy even a troll he hoped that it would decrease during the day. His eyes were still closed and felt like they were glued together. But his ears worked well enough, he could hear voices on the other side of the room, no doubt Dumbledore and Pomfrey. He guessed he was in the infirmary, where else would he be brought? They stood far away but he could still hear the worries when they whispered. Pomfrey hadn’t even been this worried when his bones were gone, and not even when the students were petrified. Whatever it was it was big.

He tried to lift his hand to signal that he needed some help, his body didn’t act on his command, and his throat was to dry to make any sound.

A dark voice broke the worried whispers, it was Snape. He didn’t bother to whisper as the rest of them, probably didn’t care if he woke Harry up.

‘I can assure you Albus, no potion was used to change him or do that to him, and I don’t see how it’s possible either.’

‘What could have caused it Albus?’ Poppy asked with an eager voice, Harry could imagine her eyes wide with curiosity.

‘When I was about fifteen I heard about something like this. The ministry decided that it was some sort of black hole that had caused it; others say that it was really dark magic. I think that it may have something to do with seven brothers and earth magic.’

‘You can’t mean that the earth has done this Albus.’

‘Poppy is right Albus, I wouldn’t think earth would interfere with something like this, he is only a boy for Merlin’s sake.’ Their voices had increased their volume so Harry didn’t have to guess what they were saying, but the main thing they were talking about was still unknown for him. As far he had figured out it had something to do with earth magic and he was the main character in the whole thing. That was no big shock.

‘The brothers did fumble with earth magic; it was intended for their sister who was childless after seven years. It seemed like the spell backfired on them to.’

‘What do you mean?’ Snape was interested in finding out the rest of the story, but he was hiding it well.

‘Every generation of men and woman could bear children. Nobody will notice that something is strange when the women would get pregnant, it’s normal. But when the men in the family were gay they could become pregnant, and that was noticeable. One of the brothers happened to be gay. They understood then what the spell had done.’ Dumbledore was talking to quiet for Harry to understand clearly more than the first few words, but Pomfrey gasped so it had to be something shocking.

‘So you suggest that he is one of them?’ Snape’s voice wasn’t as hard as before, but one of whom? What were they talking about?

‘I also think it’s the reason he didn’t die, the magic protecting him came from the source inside of him this time.’

‘I have heard about that, the baby would protect their mother, those women would be unbeatable. And their kids would have great power, strong as any hippogriff from the first day.’ Pomfrey was talking loud enough for him to hear everything, Dumbledore and Snape were half whispering now, the roles had changed.

‘Exactly, so we may have found the reason for the death of Voldemort.’

‘What I don’t understand is how this may have happened and what about later on? Won’t the pregnancy cause problems for him, that poor boy.’

‘Gryffindor’s are masters at hiding any kinds of affairs, especially their sexual ones.’ Snape had always assumed the worst about Gryffindor’s and that pissed Harry off.

‘We shouldn’t discuss it here, he can wake up any moment. The potion I gave him won’t keep him there forever. Severus, while you’re here I need to ask if you can make me a new stock of potions, it seem that the students this year have decided to visit me once a week, each of them.’ Snape didn’t answer; he probably nodded since Pomfrey thanked him.

So she had given him a potion? That explained why he was glued to the bed and couldn’t talk. What he didn’t know was what they were talking about. Earth magic, children that protecting their mothers and something that had happened to him, something strange.

Staying awake and listening had drained him of the power he had gathered while sleeping, the only thing he could do now was go back to sleep, they all left after that and the silence made it easier to fall a sleep.

--*¤*--

He couldn’t quite remember what he had dreamed, only that it was something really bright. He opened his eyes, surprised they acted on his wish this time. Ron was sitting on the end of the bed reading a book, not a school book he recognized, it could be a novel. He couldn’t be too interested in reading it because when Harry opened his eyes the book closed and he turned his eyes straight at him.

‘How are you mate?’

‘Could be better.’ He tried to sit up in the bed. He hated to lie down while people sat around him. Ron jumped on his feet to help him up, and didn’t listen when Harry told him he wanted to do it on his own.

‘Do you want anything to eat or drink?’

‘I don’t know, maybe something that is easy to digest.’ He didn’t need to say more, food suddenly appeared in front of him. He hadn’t eaten in a while he realized. And who knew if he had been eating something before the breakfast that morning.

In the end he was licking his plate, it felt so good to eat something that warmed his whole body. Ron was sitting and chewing some biscuit, didn’t accept the offer to even taste his food. Harry wanted to throw the chicken leg to him but Ron had insisted that he had been eating before he came.

‘Do you know what is going on Ron?’ Ron’s eyes widened. Harry could tell that he knew something, but he decided to lie instead.

‘Not much.’ It wasn’t actually a lie, maybe he didn’t know much, but he didn’t tell him the truth and then it was like a lie. Harry wanted to say something hurtful back, how dare he lie to him, they were best friends for gods sake. ‘And what I do know I’m not sure you want to hear.’ Ron knew Harry would see that he was hiding something so there was no pretending.

‘Yeah, like I don’t want to hear about what is wrong with me?’

‘I don’t mean it that way.’ What way did he mean it then? It seemed to Harry that everyone knew stuff about him that even he didn’t know, he was the last person to find out about himself. He was sure Ron wanted to tell him but was sworn to keep quiet. Whatever it was it could hurt him, but knowing that Ron didn’t tell him was worse than the truth. He turned around so he was looking at the other side of the room. He was annoyed at his best friend, why would he keep something a secret when he knew how much he hated secrets? Even if Hermione or whoever it might be would threaten him.

‘Harry, please don’t do this to me, you know that I would tell you if I could, but we aren’t sure that we heard right either, we don’t want to worry you with something that may be wrong.’

‘We?’

‘Me and Hermione, we were using the extendable ears and heard some things. She thinks it may have been a spell on the door that would twist the words when we heard them, but were not sure.’

‘Then tell me something else that I know you’re sure of, did you party yesterday?’ Ron was flushing when he turned back to look at him, in shame probably. ‘How come I didn’t wake up? Or why didn’t anyone wake me up?’

‘We all agreed that you should rest, you have been through a lot and were probably tired. Hermione cast a silence charm on the door so you wouldn’t wake up from the music.’ It seemed like everyone thought for him, nobody even cared about his feelings, thoughts or needs. He was treated like a child, soon they would even tell him when to sleep and eat and even shit.

‘We all?’

‘The Gryffindors, we figured out that…’

‘I don’t want to hear the rest, can you please leave? I am tired.’ He lay back down to show Ron that he didn’t want to talk anymore.

‘See you later then, and I’m sorry that I can’t tell you.’ He hated hurting Ron, especially since he was his best friend ever. As soon as the big wooden doors closed his eyes would start pricking, he didn’t want to cry but determination didn’t help much. Every hot tear drained him, he felt too tired to think about what his own house had done or that Hermione and Ron was keeping a secret. He wouldn’t hold them as close to his heart as he previous did, even if they would explain.

--*¤*--

He almost didn’t react when Dumbledore came and checked on him later on that day, asking if he was okay and if he wanted anything. Those blue eyes that gave him comfort once disgusted him now, he hated them. Dumbledore was worried about him, he could see it, but he hated the fact that he kept things from him. How could he ever trust people when they never trusted him enough to tell him what had happened to him.

‘Tell me what is wrong; I can see that something is bothering you.’

‘Yes, you.’ Dumbledore smiled a little, a sad smile. His comments didn’t hurt him as much as Ron’s had. He was older and wiser so he knew there was something else beneath the whole act.

‘Do you wish to tell me why?’

‘No.’

‘Then how do I know what you don’t like about me if you won’t tell me, I’m not a mind reader you know.’

‘You lie to me.’

‘About what?’

‘You’re not telling me anything. Not even my friends tell me anything.’

‘I see.’ He sees? He kept his lips together, if he opened them he would probably say something which he would regret later. ‘The reason for why someone that cares about you won’t tell you things is because they don’t want to see you hurt, not because they want to lie to you.’

‘Not telling me things about myself is lying to me.’

‘I see.’ He wanted to punch that old git that line really pissed him off. ‘If you want to know something then why don’t you ask?’Why should he need to ask? Wasn’t he old enough to be told what was wrong with him?

‘Tell me what you know about me then?’

‘Have you been somewhere the last three months?’ What was he playing at now? Couldn’t he only tell him whatever it was?

‘No.’

‘So you haven’t fainted or woken up somewhere you didn’t know?’

’No. But Hermione and Ron mentioned that I seem kind of gone sometimes.
They say that they have been talking to me but I’m not even showing the slightest reaction.’

‘How often does that happen?’

‘How should I know, I don’t even know I’m gone.’

‘Yes. Have you ever woken up and felt strange, like some parts of you would be hurting more than usual?’

‘Why do you ask?’ When Dumbledore wanted to say something that would probably shock others he would always use the longest way around the subject, in one way it did make the shock easier to digest, but it would make the one it concerned annoyed at the length it took to tell him. By the long detour this took he would guess it was quite serious.

‘What has happened to you may be explained if you answer me as truthfully as you remember.’ Like he would lie, did they really think this little about him?

‘So if I tell you then you will tell me what is wrong?’

‘Of course, you have a right to know. But I may want to think about it first, to try and figure out what could have happened.

‘No, you will tell me first what it wrong and then I’ll tell you what I remember.’ Dumbledore couldn’t get out of this that easy, if he even tried once more he would punch him, even if he did get expelled for it.

‘What if you tell me what you can remember and I’ll tell you straight afterwards, it’s a win win situation.’ Dumbledore could be a great lawyer, he could convince anyone with his speeches, or confuse them so much that they agreed.

‘Sometimes I find myself on the floor, and I have no idea how I got there, usually then I have fallen so my body does hurt from the fall. Other times I’m only gone I’m told, just sitting and looking at the same spot all the time. So I don’t really know if I’m hurt more than usual.’

‘How long has this been going on?’

‘A while I think, but I’m not sure since the Dursley’s never cared about what happened with me. Hermione told me that I should go and check it but I just haven’t had time, and I never go anywhere in the summer holiday.’

‘You could have asked Pomfrey about it, she is more than just the school nurse you know.’

‘Stupid of me not to have thought of that before.’

‘Thinking right in the moment is a hard thing to do, most people don’t think until after they have done something, so you’re not alone.’

‘Now tell me what has happened to me.’

‘Can I ask you one more thing before I answer?’ He was really close to loosing his temper, and Dumbledore was probably the only one that could say something and get away with it. His silence was an answer for him so he continued. ‘Do you remember any times when your bum would hurt?’ Harry’s face was probably red, it was at least warm and it seemed like the air was dryer than usual. He tried to think about it, but the thought made him uncomfortable.

‘I’m not sure.’ Would he take that as an answer? He hoped so because this was really uncomfortable topic.

‘A spell was probably used I would guess.’ He wanted to ask what spell and on what, but was just not sure he wanted to know.

‘Now you tell me what is going on.’

‘In ancient times there were druids, which was the same as wizards.’ Did he really think Harry was stupid? Even if he never had come to Hogwarts he would know what druids were. ‘There is one story in particular that is different from others. It started with seven druids, brothers actually. They had a sister which had married to a man and after several years when they were childless her brothers decided to do something. It’s one thing to use magic against others or for personal gaining, but playing around with Mother Nature is a whole other thing, especially with permanent spells.’

‘So it didn’t work?’

‘It did work, to well in fact. It didn’t make only her able to get pregnant, but also every member of their family.’ Harry didn’t answer. So everyone in their family could get pregnant, that was a good thing, right?

‘So.’

‘And when I say every member, I mean every member, women and men.’ That was different. ‘That spell has been cast just once, so it’s only that family line that has it in their blood.’

‘And what has that story to do with me?’

‘I assume you are a descent from that family.’

‘So you have found my relatives? That is great.’

‘The reason for this story is not about the family line.’ Harry could see that he wasn’t too comfortable in the chair besides him. He examined his knuckles before deciding to continue. ‘The reason for why I am telling you this is because it may seem like you are pregnant.’ He wanted to laugh at first, this was a joke, but something in Dumbledore’s eyes stopped him from even opening his mouth. He recognized the worry and sadness in them; he would look the same way at him when other sad things had happened.

‘What?’

‘The only way you could be pregnant is if you have been with a boy in the last two and a half months that is why I asked.’

‘What? You mean to say that I’m gay? I haven’t even done anything besides just kiss a girl, a girl, not a boy.’ It wasn’t that he had never thought about any boys, but the normal thing was being with a girl, so he had to try and show others that he was interested in girls.

‘I know, the Ravenclaw girl was probably the only girl you have been with.’ How did he know that? However he knew that out he didn’t like it a bit, he hated the fact that everyone knew everything about him.

‘So how could I be pregnant? Men can’t become pregnant.’

‘I told you the story. I assume you’re descent from them since you are pregnant. I don’t know how it works but as far as I know about that family it is going to be as normal pregnancy as any woman would have.’

‘But I can’t be, I haven’t done it with anyone, and certainly not a male.’

‘Pomfrey guesses you have been pregnant for a little over two months. I am sorry for what you have gone through, no child should go through this much pain, loosing their parents, growing up ignored and have to fight and win the war. You are so much stronger than you think, and if you decide to keep it then I think you would be the best father anyone could have.’

‘How can I keep anything that I don’t have? You must be wrong, all of you.’

‘Pomfrey knows everything there is about pregnancy, she worked mostly with that before she started here. You have about another two or three weeks to decide if you want to keep it, and nobody will judge you if you decide to get rid of it.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘There is one potion you could take; I think you use something like that in the muggle world to.’

‘I know what abortion is in case you’re thinking about that.’

‘Just contact Pomfrey if you want the potion.’ He rose up, smiled and walked out of the room. Harry was sitting and looking after him, not knowing what to think.

This was probably a dream, a really strange one to. The idea of him being pregnant was just a thing that could not be; he had never slept with anyone. But the headmaster knew that, so he asked him about if he had fallen asleep or something was he thinking that Harry had been raped? So if he was pregnant, would it mean that he wasn’t a virgin anymore. Did men loose their virginity that way? His fingers moved down to his own belly, it was a little bigger, almost not noticeable.

Thinking about the last months he saw the symptoms that a pregnant woman would have, his appetite had grown, he was also a little more emotional, or a lot when he thought about it. No, he couldn’t be, this was just a bad dream.

He had hoped that loosing his virginity would be to the one he loved; either it was a girl or a boy. Only the thought made his sad, he hated this fucking world. It was playing with him like he was nothing more than a dead leaf. And what should he do with this pregnancy? He was sure he was pregnant, no point in denying it. Was it right to keep it? Since he was a boy, it would bring out questions especially since he was so popular in the wizard community. Since he had no idea who might had raped him it would especially be a great story, what if they thought it was Voldemort? He had to assume the worst things, remembering Rita Skeeter and how she always twisted every word he said.

He covered his face with his own hands, sobbing quietly. Everything seemed so far away from him, like nothing was real. Maybe sleeping would help him.