I Wish I Was Some One Else

Something I Can Never Have by Nine Inch Nails

I still recall the taste of your tears. Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears. My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore. Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore.
[Chorus: You make this all go away. You make this all go away. I'm down to just one thing. And I'm starting to scare myself. You make this all go away. You make this all go away. I just want something. I just want something I can never have
You always were the one to show me how Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now. This thing is slowly taking me apart. Grey would be the color if I had a heart.
Come on tell me
[Chorus
in this place it seems like such a shame. Though it all looks different now, I know it's still the same everywhere I look you're all I see. Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be.
Come on tell me
[Chorus
I just want something I can never have

Severus Snape woke on the floor of his bathroom. There was something that he was forgetting about but he didn’t care. He just wanted sleep. Snape crossed in to his bedroom stripped to nothing and collapsed on his bed.

His body hurt and his mind was so stretched, the potion had worked! The memory was real, he said the words, and he felt the tears, felt her kiss. Snape could still feel the pain in his chest. The potion might have worked a little too well.

Snape went to sleep under his comforter. The warmth engulfed him, almost immediately. His dreams were of none other than Lily, the kisses they shared, their childhood, their everything. Visions of her body lying dead and crimpled on Harry’s floor were the last thing he saw before he woke.

This body was tangled in the sheets on his bed. Snape lifted his head and looked at his clock; it was an hour before his first class. Snape got up and went to his bathroom. He might be able to shower and masturbate before classes started.

He started the shower and noticed that his arm was covered in dried blood. He rinsed off his arm and thought of his love, thought of his beautiful Lily. His erection was almost immediate. But with every thought of Lily there came the thought that she was dead.

Snape need this! He needed to orgasm. Snape thought of another, thought of Ginevra who had stared at him last night. It was almost instant, his erection was bigger, and yes this girl was alive. Yes this girl had large breasts, an ample butt, and long legs. Snape’s hand glided along his shaft. His other hand grabbed his shampoo he poured a small amount in to his hand and began to stoke his penis.

His mind stayed on Ginevra, her smooth porcelain skin, her long red hair that seemed to flow around her. He imagined her naked in the shower with him, her body dripping water. In his mind it was not his hand that pumped over his penis but rather hers. Her body that rocked against him as she worked low on his penis, going to the top and squeezing down him. It was her body and not his wall that he stared at, it was her body he touched.

His hand speed up his body rocked in to his hand. Snape collapsed against the wall as his orgasm rocked his body, as it shot out of him and in to the drain below. Snape now relaxed and some what tired washed his body. His hair was greasy with his sweat from last night, and his hair some how was longer than it was last night, and his body was leaner.

Snape remembered what he had seen last night. Almost falling as he hurried out of the shower, Snape stopped in front of the mirror. His eyes widened in shock as his seventeen year old form stared back at him. Snape dressed in the first clothes he could find and ran up the many flights of stairs to the Head Mistress’s office.

Snape knocked at the door and then busted in surprising the Head Mistress.

“Excuse me, Mister but I do believe I didn’t give you permission to come in here. What is your name…?” McGonagall’s eyes spread wide with fear. “Severus Snape, you look…” She shook her head as if she didn’t believe her own conclusion.

“Head Mistress, I was experimenting with a potion last night, it changed me. I… it wasn’t suppose to do this. I was only suppose to relive my memories, not become them!” Snape stammered as he sat down in front of her desk.

“Minerva, what am I going to do?” Snape shook his head, “I can’t go to St. Mungo’s, they will charge me for not telling the ministry about my experiment. Azkaban may not be guarded by Dementors anymore but it is still the worst place in the wizarding world!” Snape took deep breaths, his body felt weak almost as if he was going to faint.

“Severus calm down!” McGonagall stood form her chair.

“Is that you Severus? You look so young!” Dumbledore’s portrait hung from behind McGonagall. “My, how young you look!”

“Professor, I am younger! I took this potion and now… I’m seventeen again. How awful is this? I…I look ridicules! I can’t teach like this!” Snape hung his head defeated.

“Then don’t teach.” McGonagall said as she sat back down, her mind twitching with new ideas.

“Severus, why don’t you attend Hogwarts? It will be the perfect cover story; you’re a student from a different school! Oh Severus don’t’ give me that look! You can stay here as a student and by night you can brew a cure to this… this mistake. Slughorn can take your place, and I can get someone to take the dark arts class.” McGonagall smiled as she approved of her idea. She nodded once, and then stood to pat Severus on the back.

Snape stood up and glared at the Head Mistress to think that he Severus Snape would be a student again. McGonagall flicked her wand and a list appeared, she handed it to him and smiled.

“Just think of it as a course refresher. You’ll have all the classes you had in your seventh year, even potions. You’ll be in Slytherin of course; we’re going to have to change your name though.” McGonagall paused and waited as Snape looked at her with a snare on his face.

“You want me to become a student, take my classes seriously, fine the potion to reverse this horrible mistake, and now you want me to change my name! Merlin’s beard Mineral what else do you want me to do, act like a seventeen year old? I will do no such thing!” Snape’s ranting was cut short as McGonagall slammed her hand on to the desk.

“Severus, I suggest you think of a name, because your first class starts in fifteen minuets and it’s all the way in the dungeon. Now think of a name and run down to your first class. I’ll send you your books at the end of the day.” McGonagall walked behind her desk and started writing to Flourish and Blotts for his books.

“A new name?” Severus didn’t want a new name if anything he didn’t want a new anything. He wanted his older body back. The body that he had shaped with lean muscles, he wanted his broken nose back. He missed his nose. “Can I keep Severus; I don’t think I could answer to anything else? How about Severus Evans? It’s a new name.”


“Well Mr. Evans Welcome to Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Class starts in thirteen minuets and you’ll never make it down there before it starts. Slughorn is already there preparing for class. Take this to all your teachers, it’s a note explaining that you are a new student from Canada, you were sorted in to Slytherin, and that your books would arrive tonight in your room.” McGonagall tapped the young Severus Snape on his back and then turned him to leave. “Good day Mr. Evans.”

Snape ran down the flights of stairs, if he was going to pretend to be a student then he was going to be a student!

Snape ran in to the dungeons, and turned in to his classroom. It looked so much bigger, for some reason. Snape breathed in through his mouth trying to stop his heart from bursting. He handed the note to Slughorn, and looked around the class, there was only one seat left and it was next to Ginevra Weasley.

Slughorn looked at the young boy, seeing him reminded him of a younger Snape, but the thought quickly ebbed away as the boy smiled to the young Ginny. Slughorn patted him on the shoulder and then pointed him toward the seat next to Ginny.

Ginny moved her books from off the seat next to her. Snape sat down next to her his heart pounding, he had smile at her. She had smiled back! Ginny moved her book closer to him so he could see the recipe. Ginny’s hand quickly grabbed his and shook it in hers.

“I hope you don’t think I’m weird, I just wanted to be the first to introduce myself. I’m Ginevra Weasley, but you can call me Ginny. Everybody does. Where did you come from? Are you seventeen or sixteen?” Ginny smiled and sighed “I talk too much, I know, and I’m sorry.”

Severus took a breath, she was nervous to be sitting next to him.

“My name is Severus Evans. I… I came from Canada. My parents just recently moved here to England. I still had one more year so I came here. I’m seventeen.” Snape’s sentences were choppy.

“Canada! Wow! That must have been exciting to have been there this summer, what with the Quiddutch tournament going on.” Ginny cut the dried mandrake leaves in to tiny squares, as she spoke. “Oh, you don’t have a caldron or ingredients do you?” Ginny Put her knife down and pushed herself from off of the stool and ran to the front of the class.

Slughorn and Ginevra talked in hushed voices for a minuet or two and then he nodded and smiled.

Ginevra came running back and smile at him. “We get to be partners for today; Slughorn said that we could work together on this potion.” Ginny went back to cutting the leaves as Snape went to grab for the next ingredient, a phoenix feather had to be cut in to tiny pieces with a silver knife.

“Do you have a silver knife I can borrow?” Ginny nodded her head and passed him the knife. Snape’s hand moved with precision as he quickly cut the feather in half down the middle and then quickly into tiny pieces that were equal all equal in size. Ginny’s eyes widened as she watched in amazement as her partner worked with a constant grace.

“The leaves need to go in first are you almost done with them?” Severus asked Ginevra knocking her out of her shock.

“Um no I was watching you. That was amazing. How did you do that?” Ginny continued cutting her leaves as she asked her questions. Snape grabbed one of the leaves and started cutting it much the same as the feather. The knife sliced down the middle and carved its way through the hard veins.

“Silver knives cut through all things better than a regular knife. Except, the things that when touched by silver they shrivel. But everything else it works great for. Potions at my old school was one of the main course, you had to take it.” Snape worked his hardest not to look at the girl as he told her these things. Even now that he was given a second chance at being seventeen, he was blowing it by being a nerd.

Ginevra turned and poured her copped leaves into the caldron. Snape followed and then stir the potion once in counter clockwise and then six times clockwise. Ginny pored the rest of the ingredients in to the pot as Snape cut more ingredients, and stirred the caldron.

The potion soon took its color and started to turn a deep pink and slowly turned in to a deep red. Snape smiled and looked to Ginevra to see that she was smiling too.

“What’s your next class?” Snape asked. “I mean, I was thinking that maybe if we had the same class you could show me where it is…?” Ginny pulled out her schedule and Snape followed his robes loose on his much smaller frame.

“Oh, I have free period, what do you have?” Ginny was disappointed as she realized she might only ever have this class with him.

“I have free period too, then lunch. But after that I have care of magical creatures, with the Gryffindors, are you in that class?” Snape became hopeful.

“I do have Care of Magical Creatures this year! Hey it looks like our whole day is pretty much together. After this class I’ll show you around the castle. Show you a few tricks. I’ve been going her for seven years now I know this castle like the back of my hand.” Ginevra smirked Slughorn came to check on their potion.

“It’s so good to see a Gryffindor and a Slytherin behaving so nicely to each other. Oh and Severus, I don’t know if the Head Mistress told you but,” Ginny’s face fell as she realized that her new friend was a Slytherin. “I am your head of house. It seems that you are an excellent student.” Slughorn walked away to the next table.

“You’re a Slytherin?” Ginny’s voice was weak, she almost couldn’t believe it.

“Yes, why does that matter, we had all of this stuff planned after class. Are you going to ditch me because of my house?” Snape almost lost his temper as he watched her face go from shocked to serious.

“I was not about to ditch you just because of your house. I… I just don’t know many people who are in Slytherin and are nice and friendly.” Ginny stirred the potion one more time. It was almost the end of class. She filled a vile full of their potion and marked his name on it, and then Snape wrote his own.

“It’s funny; you spell your name just like Severus Snape’s.” Ginny looked at the vile again and then went to go place it on Slughorn’s desk. Ginny came back and gathered her books into her bag.

“Who is Severus Snape?” Snape asked trying to play dumb.

“He is supposed to be the Potion’s master, but he went missing this morning. No one knows where he went. Some say he went to go kill himself in the mountains that surround Hogsmead.” Ginny finished putting away her ingredients and stored them into her bag also.

“Sounds like a depressed guy!” Snape said

“Yeah, no one really knows much about him. Just bits and pieces here and there. But I know about him. When he went to school here, he was a Slytherin like you,” Ginny smiled “It must be the name.” She continued her earlier sentence “Anyway, he fell in love with this woman, her name was Lily. They knew each other from childhood. And then some guy named James stole her away from him, or something. Snape went on after school to become a Death Eater. James and Lily had a child together, and then Voldamort killed them.” Ginny paused as the clock chimed that class was over.

Ginny walked out of class her bag on her shoulder, her body swaying as she walked. Snape followed her, watching her body move.

Ginny slowed down and walked beside Snape. “It’s said that Snape begged Voldamort for her life. But, she died in her house after one of her and James’ best friends betrayed them. Snape started to work here before she died, it was part of a deal that he made for one of the old Head Masters to help her. Dumbledore tried but again they trusted the wrong person.” Ginny continued walking until they were on the ground floor, and walked out in to the open air. The sky was bright and a baby blue.

“Snape continued to work here. He almost died last year, during the middle of the war; Voldamort attacked him with this deadly snake thingy.” Ginny sat down under a tree near the Black lake.

“Ginevra, why don’t you tell me something about yourself? Do you have a boyfriend, family?” Snape asked the questions he already had answers to.

“I have a lot of family, my mum and dad, my six brothers and two sister-in-laws” Ginny smiled “My brothers are Bill, Charlie, Percy, The twins Fred and George, um and Ron.”

Severus grimaced at the large family; Snape could handle any of the Weasleys except Ron and the twins.

“Well you answered one of my questions but, you seem to have forgotten the other one.” Snape smirk, he wanted her. He almost felt as if he needed her.

“No, I don’t have a boyfriend, I mean…” Ginny trailed off blushing.

“So Mr. Harry Potter isn’t in the picture anymore?” Snape felt her taking a deep breathe. “I was just asking to make sure little Potter didn’t try to come after me, I might just hurt him.” Snape scooted over more to her.

“Severus, maybe we should wait. I mean…” Ginny paused. “Maybe we,” Severus interrupted her sentence with a kiss on her lips.

Ginny’s eyes popped open and then she closed them as she melted in to the kiss. His hand reached for her face drawing her closer as her lips parted and her teeth bit gently. Snape moaned into her mouth and her tongue slipped into his mouth.

“Ginny breathe! You know you can pass out with out air!” A passing student yelled.

Ginny separated herself from Snape. Snape whipped her mouth and turned her back to him, he kissed her lips again but this time gently.

“Let’s go some where else.” Ginny told him, grabbing her bag and grabbing her hand. “We’re going to the seventh floor. Do you mind skipping lunch?” Ginny pulled him along.

They entered in to the castle and then raced up the staircases. Five floors up Ginny slowed and pulled Snape against her body.

“Severus, kiss me?” Ginny pleaded as she pulled him closer together. Snape kissed Ginevra hard pushing her harshly against the stair case. Ginny pushed him away and ran away from him up the next two flights. Snape watching her for a few seconds, followed after her, now knowing where she was heading. She was going to the room of requirement. She wanted to be alone with him.

Ginny placed him in front of the seventh floor corridor and she walked back and forth three times. Then a door appeared it was carving itself right in front of his eyes. Snape faked shock as Ginny’s face turned to smile at him.

Ginny looked up at him, and smile a tiny smile that told him that as soon as he entered in to that room with her, he was going to get laid.

Snape snared as he walked in to the doors entrance. Ginny pulled him in more and then closed the door. It sealed itself and disappeared. Ginny dropped his hand and Snape watched as she stripped off her cloak dropping it to the floor.

Snape looked around the room, there were plenty of things to lie on as he fucked her, but the walls even were tempting. He turned back to look at Ginny She was down to a bra and her skirt now. Snape swallowed as his mouth became dry as he watched her body, almost dance as she walked to the couch.

“Why Mr. Evans, are you all the way over there? And fully dressed too? What a shame!” Ginny laid herself on the couch intent on watching him strip.

‘Come on Ginny girl, you need this! Harry dumped you and this is just the thing you need to get over him! Harry’s over you, he’s dating some American named Holly!’ Her mind reeled with thoughts of how this would make her feel better; this would make her think less of Harry.

Snape crossed the room, shedding his shirt then his pants as he walked to her. He stopped in front of her and the couch in only his boxers. His erection hard and pointing to her almost was painful as he thought about what it would be like to be inside her.

Ginny ran her hands up his thighs, and pulled down his boxers. He was definitely bigger than Harry. Ginny’s right hand grasped his penis and held it in front of her mouth. Was she really about to suck on this stranger’s penis?

As her mouth came almost crashing down to his tip, her mind’s question was answered. She worked past her gag reflex, and forced him deeper in to her. She pushed him in further and pulled him out only when she was short of breath.

Snape’s spine bowed with the force of pleasure she was giving him. Her mouth was warm and tight as she swallowed him whole. He could feel every inch of himself going down her throat and that only made him harder.

Snape grabbed the back of her head and slammed his body in to her throat. He pushed in and out rocking her head to his rhythm. When he was close to coming, Snape yanked himself out of her mouth, and collapsed on to the couch.

Ginny her mouth sore, pushed her underwear and skirt off in on movement, and startled Severus.

“Do you want to be inside me? Ginny asked as she rocked her body teasing him. His head made the barest of touches against her clit and she gasped in pleasure. Her body screamed for her first time.

Yes she and Harry had done experiments, but they were going to wait for their wedding night to go all the way. The thought made her back away a little bit. The thought of her wanting her first time to be with someone she loved, or at least knew had always warmed her body.

“I can’t go all the way!” The words slipped out of her mouth before she even knew what she was saying.

Snape rolled her over so that he was on top. His body rested on hers, pressing her in to the cushions.

“That’s fine; I just want to see your face as you scream my name.” Snape kissed her a little disappointed that he wasn’t getting sex.

Snape’s kiss became more as one of his hands went to her breast messaging and pinching at her nipple. Snape wanted her to orgasm; he wanted to see her pleasure. Snape smiled in to his kiss as he felt her push against his body, against his hand. Snape had had enough.

Snape ripped off her bra and flung it across the room. He attached his mouth against he nipple and herd her mews of pleasure as he caressed his other hand down to her vagina. His hand pushed one finger in as another caressed her clit.

Ginny felt her body instantly heat up as his hand explored her. His hand pulsed against her body making her twitch with excitement. Her body rose with every push and she almost screamed every time his hand moved out of her, or his mouth dropped her nipple. Snape couldn’t believe how good it felt to give Ginny her pleasure. Never before did he worry about any other woman’s pleasure. As Ginny’s body pushed back against his getting tighter and tighter, Snape trusted harder.

Ginny’s body stilled for a second and then she screamed her orgasm in to his mouth as she harshly kissed him. Her body rocked once then twice against his hand, her body shivered and she sighed relaxing in to Snape’s arms.

“You know,” Ginny said finally gaining her voice enough to talk, “I could lay here all day with you.

“Then let’s just lay here till our next class.” Snape sighed in to her hair. He may not have gotten his release, but some how he felt happier than if he would have.

Ginny kissed his lips and then smiled deviously.

“I owe you one. But right now I kind of just want to sleep on you.”

Snape nodded his agreement and Ginny took that as a yes. She snuggled in to his arm resting her head on his shoulder.

I’m sorry this chapter is so late but I was having difficulties with my internet. Thank you for your patience I hope you enjoy this chapter. Tell me what you think.