Custody Battle
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
23
Views:
20,635
Reviews:
164
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
23
Views:
20,635
Reviews:
164
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Paternity Revealed
“You’re full of bollocks and horseshit. You’ve been keeper of that bloody book since before I was a first year!” Severus snapped. The carpet in the Deputy Headmistress’ office was wearing thing beneath his pacing soles. Minerva sat at her desk, flipping through the enormous book, back eleven years trying to find the girl’s name. “Where the bloody hell is Albus?”
“I told you, Severus, he’s in the dark about this just as much as you and I are.”
“Don’t give me that line, woman, he knows everything. And he tells you everything. Therefore you know everything.” He narrowed his eyes at her.
“Severus, I don’t know anything about this! How many times do I have to tell you?”
“I think you’ve inadvertently switched your mouth with your bunghole, Minerva, as all you’ve seen fit to spew at me this far is shite!”
“Severus!” Minerva barked.
“Don’t you Severus me, you— you—”
“Cantankerous, crotchety, lying old hoptoad?” Albus asked. Donned in bright blue robes he entered the office and nodded to both of his staff members.
“You took the words right from my tongue.”
With a silver tin in his wrinkled hand, he smiled. “Sherbert lemon?”
“To hell with your candy, you owe me answers, old man!” Severus growled. His temper fuse had long since burned out into a full blown explosion. His glare was murderous, black orbs shooting daggers at the Headmaster. He’d killed the man once before, it wouldn’t be as difficult a second time round.
“Ah, yes, Severus, you certainly seem unpleasant,” he said, ever present twinkle glittering in his blue eyes.
“How do you sleep at night?” Severus balled his fists tightly at his side to keep from drawing his wand and hexing the older wizard right back out of the office. “You knew! You know! I know you know because you know everything!” her turned mid-pace and fixed a livid glare to the older wizard. “How did you let this happen?”
“That’s the question we should be asking you!” Minerva snapped.
“That girl is not my fault!” he spat.
“No, not at all. Of course not, you ninny!” Both hands were on her hips and if ever before she’d been labeled, the traditional matriarchal head nun came to mind, embodied in her posture alone as she pushed her spectacles back up the bridge of her nose. “It’s just your sodding prick and lack of maturity and responsibility, that’s who’s fault it is! I mean, my God, Severus, how could you not know that you have an eleven year old daughter?”
“That girl is not my anything. Do you know how many other Snape’s there are?”
“I’m not entirely sure the world can handle more than you. So hopefully for my sake, not many!”
“Minerva,” Albus cleared his throat. “The girl’s parents?”
“Forgive me, Headmaster,” she narrowed her eyes at Severus before glancing back to the book. “Caterina Novelle Snape, born March 11, 1998, eleven years ago to—” her eyes widened. “Oh!” she whimpered, her eyes flutterd and Minerva fainted.
Albus moved to place the collapsed witch into her desk chair, his eyes glancing down at the book. “To father Severus Snape, and to mother Hermione Granger.”
“I told you, Severus, he’s in the dark about this just as much as you and I are.”
“Don’t give me that line, woman, he knows everything. And he tells you everything. Therefore you know everything.” He narrowed his eyes at her.
“Severus, I don’t know anything about this! How many times do I have to tell you?”
“I think you’ve inadvertently switched your mouth with your bunghole, Minerva, as all you’ve seen fit to spew at me this far is shite!”
“Severus!” Minerva barked.
“Don’t you Severus me, you— you—”
“Cantankerous, crotchety, lying old hoptoad?” Albus asked. Donned in bright blue robes he entered the office and nodded to both of his staff members.
“You took the words right from my tongue.”
With a silver tin in his wrinkled hand, he smiled. “Sherbert lemon?”
“To hell with your candy, you owe me answers, old man!” Severus growled. His temper fuse had long since burned out into a full blown explosion. His glare was murderous, black orbs shooting daggers at the Headmaster. He’d killed the man once before, it wouldn’t be as difficult a second time round.
“Ah, yes, Severus, you certainly seem unpleasant,” he said, ever present twinkle glittering in his blue eyes.
“How do you sleep at night?” Severus balled his fists tightly at his side to keep from drawing his wand and hexing the older wizard right back out of the office. “You knew! You know! I know you know because you know everything!” her turned mid-pace and fixed a livid glare to the older wizard. “How did you let this happen?”
“That’s the question we should be asking you!” Minerva snapped.
“That girl is not my fault!” he spat.
“No, not at all. Of course not, you ninny!” Both hands were on her hips and if ever before she’d been labeled, the traditional matriarchal head nun came to mind, embodied in her posture alone as she pushed her spectacles back up the bridge of her nose. “It’s just your sodding prick and lack of maturity and responsibility, that’s who’s fault it is! I mean, my God, Severus, how could you not know that you have an eleven year old daughter?”
“That girl is not my anything. Do you know how many other Snape’s there are?”
“I’m not entirely sure the world can handle more than you. So hopefully for my sake, not many!”
“Minerva,” Albus cleared his throat. “The girl’s parents?”
“Forgive me, Headmaster,” she narrowed her eyes at Severus before glancing back to the book. “Caterina Novelle Snape, born March 11, 1998, eleven years ago to—” her eyes widened. “Oh!” she whimpered, her eyes flutterd and Minerva fainted.
Albus moved to place the collapsed witch into her desk chair, his eyes glancing down at the book. “To father Severus Snape, and to mother Hermione Granger.”