The Potions Storeroom

Special thanks to my wonderful beta, Snarkyroxy. Her talent and hard work always improve my writing.

Chapter Two: I am the archive of our failure…

Snape had no idea how long he had stood there holding the young witch he'd had intimate relations with only moments ago. She was running her fingers through his damp hair, their bodies pressed together, and he was still buried within the warm depths of her. There was no place on Earth he would rather be, but he knew he was only harming himself and her by allowing this to continue.

"You have changed everything…"

Snape felt Hermione shift and pull back to try to stare at him. He realized with horror that he had spoken his thoughts aloud.

The wizard gently pried her legs from around his waist. His penis, now pale and limp, created a quiet pop as it slid from the cocoon it had been nestled in and he placed her on her feet in front of him. He realized for the first time tonight that she stood nearly a head shorter than him. It was cold without her against him, and he already missed the intimate contact of being one with her.

Her fingers brushed away the tears that were streaming down his face. Memories of another time he had cried rose unbidden into his mind. This time, there was no one calling him that horrible nickname, Snivellus.

He lowered his head so that his hair would cover his face, hiding his emotions like a black curtain.

"I love your hair like this," Hermione told him, brushing the locks aside to gaze into his dark eyes. "Why the sudden change?"

Snape swallowed. "I… had hoped you would notice."

"I certainly have." She smiled and tilted her head to the side. "You look… different tonight."

Snape lowered his head again in an attempt to hide himself from her intense gaze. It was very unlike him. He hid from no one, and yet she made him feel young, shy and almost innocent.

"How do I look different?" He chanced a glance at her and found it hard to breathe. Her unruly hair was still damp, clinging about her face, her lips were swollen from their kisses and she was flushed from their activities. Were he given some more time, he knew he'd become painfully aroused by the very sight of her.

"Well, the hair is an obvious difference." She smiled again. "You suddenly don't seem as pale as usual, though it could be because you’re a little flushed from what has happened." She blushed at the thought of what they had done.

Hermione believed she might have second thoughts or feel guilty after having sex with her professor. She did feel guilty because she was only seventeen, very inexperienced and he was her much older teacher. Her friends would probably kill her if they found out what she'd done. Or him. The future was uncertain and she could end up very hurt, but she couldn't ignore the feeling that something felt right about this whole crazy situation.

She pursed her lips and gazed at him thoughtfully. "I can't put my finger on it, but you look different. Your features aren't so… harsh. It's like a glamour has been lifted and I'm staring at a new man."

Snape didn't answer her, and Hermione's eyes widened as she made a startling revelation. "You were wearing a glamour, weren't you?"

He nodded slowly.

She frowned, her mouth opening several times to speak, but only on the third time did words escape her. "But why? And when did you remove it?"

"Halfway through our work I lifted it. I saw no need for it," he answered quietly.

"It masked your true scent, it made your features harsher, and made your hair look dirty," she realized out loud.

He nodded again.

Her eyebrows drew together. "Gods, but why would you want to wear something like that all the time?" Didn't he realize, wherever he went, students made fun of him? Was he aware that they called him the Greasy Git and the Bat of the Dungeons, amongst other horrible names?

Snape's dark eyes locked with hers. "Think, Hermione. I was young when I began to teach here - the youngest professor in several centuries. Classmates I had attended school with suddenly became my students. How was I to maintain order if I did not strike fear into their hearts and leave no doubt who was in charge?"

Snape looked away from her. " I was never good about hygiene when I was younger. And the fact that my family had little money did not help, but that changed when I returned to Hogwarts as a teacher. With a salary I bought new clothes and I took care of myself. It led to more torment that I could not afford as a professor. It led to disruptions and a loss of control in my classroom. Those are things I will never stand for."

"I know that, but those students eventually left."

"They did, but creating a glamour to make me appear like I did as a greasy child, combined with a foul attitude that was mostly genuine, caused fear and respect with the new students. If I changed my methods I would lose their respect."

"Nonsense."

Snape arched one eyebrow. "You believe the students would respect me if I was a little easier on them? Life is not easy, especially not during these times. I have had less students fail my class than any other professor in this school. My teaching methods may be harsh, but they work."

"I'm not saying they don't work. I didn't mean to pick apart how you teach; I just don't see why you need to hide the real you."

Snape brushed back some of her hair behind her shoulder. "Because it is too dangerous for me."

"The spying."

He nodded. "The glamour has become a part of me. I rarely remove it except when in the privacy of my rooms and… tonight."

Hermione was silent for a moment as she took in this new knowledge. He had shown a part of himself to her despite the danger of doing so. She gazed at him cautiously and noticed the wet tear trails still marking his face.

"You cried earlier. I've never seen you cry. You said something about me changing everything."

Snape looked at their piles of clothes on the floor. "I believe we should dress."

She frowned and the dark-haired wizard felt his heart constrict. She thinks I am rejecting her… Oh, Hermione…

They dressed in complete silence. and Hermione watched him as he fastened each and every button that hid his body away from her eyes.

"Severus, tell me what you meant." She stepped closer and put her palms down against his now clothed chest. "Is it because we've broken the school rules? We've changed our relationship as teacher and student? I don't want to lose what we've gained tonight, but nor do I want you to lose your job or get myself expelled. There must be some way to make this work. I could drop Defense Against the Dark Arts or take it as an independent study."

"You will not!" Snape yelled, his dark eyes flashing with anger. "You need that class for the upcoming war. I will not allow what has happened between us to interfere with your studies. And I couldn’t give a damn about the school rules." He paused, trying to collect his thoughts, and outwardly he gave the appearance of struggling. His brows were furrowed.

"Hermione, first you must know that I had no intentions for this evening beyond companionship and work. I did indeed change my hair and I wore my best robes. I foolishly wanted to capture your attention, but I expected nothing more."

"When did it first happen?" she asked, rubbing her thumb along the wool of his coat.

His eyebrows drew together in confusion. "When did what happen?"

She flushed. "Obviously, there is something between us. At some point you must have stopped seeing me as a little know-it-all."

Snape raised one eyebrow and smirked. "You will always be a know-it-all, and because you are shorter than I, you are still little… so nothing has changed."

She grinned. Then sobered quickly. "And everything has changed…" she allowed softly.

He nodded and buried his fingers into her hair. She closed her eyes as he massaged her scalp.

"To answer your question, I'm not certain when it happened. Perhaps it was the night I found you bent over a book in the library, clearly exhausted. Your face was inches from the parchment you were scribbling on just beside the book. Or it may have been another time. All I am certain of is that I noticed you and wished for you to notice me, as absurd as that is."

She smiled and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "Not so absurd now."

She breathed deeply as a silence settled on the small room. After some time, she asked, "Do you regret that this happened?"

"No…" Snape replied as he wrapped an arm around her waist. He sighed and exhaled a breath like a rush of air from a debating balloon. "And yes…" he added in a whisper.

She looked away and felt like she'd die of a broken heart. How had things progressed to this? She had always defended him and it had been for a reason, but what was it? She didn't love him.

But she did care about him.

"I have no declaration of love for you, Hermione," he told, her stroking her hair with his other hand, "but I would never have allowed this to happen if I did not feel something."

"You feel something other than contempt?" she asked, arching one brow in mock imitation.

"I could never feel contempt for you," he replied and fell silent.

She realized he was not going to tell her exactly how he felt. He might have been concealing that he felt a great deal more than he was letting on. Or perhaps he was merely trying to shield her from hurt, though that didn't seem like Snape at all. He loved to torment everyone around him.

"There are things that may… happen." His voice had taken on a deep but quiet tone. "Things out of my control yet they may be of my doing." He pulled away from her and faced the ladder, gripping the handles until his knuckles turned white. How could he tell her what he had been planning to do? How could he go through with it after this miracle had happened?

"What do you mean, Severus?" Her voice shattered the quiet, thundering in his ears. He'd forever dream of her saying his name.

Several minutes later, he turned back to face her.

Snape couldn't keep from trembling. "I… Draco Malfoy has been given a task by the Dark Lord himself. It is a task which he must fail, yet he must appear to have attempted and only failed due to unforeseen circumstances."

Hermione frowned.

"The Headmaster and I have discovered that Draco has been ordered to kill him."

Hermione gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. She shook her head and dropped her hands. "But… but no one can kill the Headmaster. He's so... powerful… so intelligent…"

"And he's human," Snape replied sadly. "He can most certainly die, and Albus does not wish for Draco to suffer at the hands of the Dark Lord for failing in his task. He believes that Draco has not taken the Mark yet, and I agree. I believe the Dark Lord is testing him, and Draco has agreed to the task to save his life and make his father proud." Snape's features twisted as though he had eaten something sour.

"So, the Headmaster's just going to stand by and let Draco yell the Killing Curse at him? That doesn't seem like Professor Dumbledore."

Snape was shaking even more now. "Albus and I have quarreled. I took a vow with Draco's mother to protect him and see that his task is completed. I did it to protect my status as a spy." Snape's shoulders loosened as he hunched over slightly. "Albus wants me protect Draco and still follow through with the task if need be… I've refused vocally, but might not be able to refuse physically, if it comes to that."

Hermione's eyes widened again. "Are you telling me that if Draco tries to kill Professor Dumbledore and fails, you'll kill the Headmaster instead?" She gave him a look of horror and stepped back involuntarily.

Snape swallowed and felt his heart ache at the look of fear in her eyes. How could he have hoped that someone like her could ever care for someone as flawed as he?

"It is our hope that Draco never has a chance to strike, but if he does… I may be forced to take action."

"Forced to take action?" Hermione echoed dumbly; she couldn't believe what she was hearing. How was she going to break news like this to Harry? Her friend would go mental, and he might try to kill Snape or Draco to stop them from harming the Headmaster. She would have their deaths on her conscience if she relayed the information.

"Believe me I do not want this task and I fought with Albus over it!" Snape ground out, pounding his fist on the ladder, causing it to rattle from the abuse. "But I may be forced beyond my will because I was once a foolish teenager hell bent on redemption after my horrible deeds," he said bitterly. He turned to face her, his eyes flashing with anger at the situation he found himself in. "I entered into an Unbreakable Vow with Dumbledore in my youth, and I cannot refuse him. He has warned me that he will use the vow to do his bidding. He has conveniently made me a puppet once again!"

Hermione collapsed onto the floor without warning. "Oh, gods. This is horrible…."

Shaking, Snape sat himself on one of the lower steps of the ladder and rested his hands on his bent knees. "I… thought I may have found a solution, but now I am uncertain."

The young witch looked up at him with tears welling in her eyes. How quickly the night had turned from something wonderful to something tragic. How did Snape rise to face each day when he had to deal with things such as this?

"I have thought of a way to escape the Vow, allow Dumbledore to live and Draco to get away without too much torture at the hands of the Dark Lord."

Hermione looked up at him incredulously. "How could you possibly find a loophole?" She had sat on the floor, thinking how he could be free from this, and was frustrated and afraid since she couldn't find an answer. She needed the library to research and find some way to free him and save everyone involved.

Snape looked at the carpeted floor that was littered with burns and pulls in the rug from years of potions ingredients being spilled and his boots walking over it. He sighed wearily, his heart feeling heavy.

"It is not a true loop hole." He couldn't bring himself to look at her, even though he knew she was staring intensely at him.

He took a deep breath. "I will break Dumbledore's Vow…"

His words hit her harder than a ton of Hippogriffs. "NO!" She was on her feet in an instant, throwing herself at Snape.

Unprepared for the witch‘s sudden movement, he did not shield himself, and she launched herself into his lap, her arms encircling his neck.

"There must be another way!"

"No… there is no other way. I've had over a month to come up with a better plan and I have found nothing."

"I won't let you sacrifice yourself! I'll spend every moment of my life trying to find a way out! I won't sleep or eat until I find a way to help you!"

He gripped her face and raised her chin to force her to look at him. She was the one crying now.

"It is my fault for asking you here tonight, for allowing myself to hope… for allowing things to proceed as they have." Anger laced his tone as he realized how foolish he'd been.

"Draco plans to strike; I have been shadowing him. If possible, I will try to thwart him before he makes his move. But if I cannot…" He swallowed hard. "Giving my life so that a more intelligent, powerful wizard can live and help Potter defeat the Dark Lord is the best I can offer. My contributions as a spy have been meager these past few months. It is only a matter of time before my betrayal is discovered. I'd rather die from breaking the Vow than be tortured by the Dark Lord."

Hermione buried her face into his neck and hair, unable to help the gut- wrenching sobs that now wracked her frail form.

Snape hesitated before allowing his long, thin fingers to comb through her wild hair. "The strain is… too much. I thought I needed release from this life and yet… now I am uncertain of what I should do. You… we… shared something that means… much to me." He choked on his words. "Something I did not expect and cannot ignore, but I must try to for the sake of the survival of others."

She pulled back, wiping her tears harshly from her red eyes and face. "To let yourself die is a coward's way out," she told him angrily.

Snape flinched as if he'd been slapped, and she immediately regretted her words.

"I-I'm sorry," she said, shaking her head back and forth. "I should never have said that. I'm upset and angry. Having to go back and forth between Dumbledore and You-Know-Who takes great courage."

"Great courage or great stupidity."

He said nothing more for a long while. He held her as she sobbed and felt his heart splinter into another piece with every second that passed.

"It was never my intention for you to feel pain as a result of this. There is something I can do to protect you... and me."

She lifted her head from his shoulder and pulled back to look him in the eyes. "I don't understand."

"Hermione, think. If anyone were to view the memories we just created…" He shook his head, his dark hair falling around his face. "I will not allow you to become a target of the Dark Lord and his followers because of me!"

More tears streamed from Hermione's eyes. "You want us to Obliviate each other?"

He nodded slowly, his heart pounding in his chest. He had not missed the pain in her voice. He swallowed hard. The very suggestion made his heart ache.

She fought back more tears that threatened to fall.

"Hermione…"

"There has to be another way," she whispered. "Give me some time to do some research."

He shook his head. "It is too late for that, and I will not have the information I've told you eating away at you or finding its way to Potter or Draco, unintentionally or not."

He brushed her hair back from her face and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Never in my life have I wanted so much for things to be different," he murmured softly.

She looked into his eyes, memorizing the flecks of brown mixed in with the obsidian. She swallowed hard when she realized everything that had happened between them would be lost. "Are we going to Obliviate each other or will you have the Headmaster do it?"

He shook his head. "The spells would counteract each other and dissolve if we were to try at the same time. After I Obliviate you, I will see Albus or do it myself if he refuses."

They sat in silence for nearly five minutes, combing their hands through each other's hair and memorizing the feel of one another's skin. So much passion and pain. The entire night felt surreal.

"Why did this happen?" she asked, stroking the palm of his hand and causing him to shudder at the gentle caress.

"I don't know. I am used to fate's cruelty, but for it to involve you…" Snape faltered. He had never been good with any emotion other than anger, and now was no different. "If I had thought with my brain and not my…" He swallowed hard.

"I don't regret it, Severus," she told him instantly. "I don't regret what we did one bit, and I would do it all over again." She pressed a kiss to his cheek and then looked down as her face colored with a blush.

Snape watched her curiously, wondering what had made her flush.

"Would you let me do something for you before you erase my memory of our coupling and this conversation?"

Snape swallowed. Their coupling had been one of the most intense moments of his life and one of the most enjoyable. It had led him to grasp onto hope, something he had not done in decades.

"If it is within my power to allow it, yes…"

He realized with shock that he'd do nearly anything if she asked it of him. He knew he did not love her, it was too soon. He felt attraction and a strong affection, which he selfishly wished had the chance to develop into something more.

She reached down and boldly cupped him between his legs.

Snape jumped, startled by her action, but Hermione did not remove her hand.

"What are you-"

She silenced him with a kiss. He didn't respond at first, but then he thrust his tongue hard into her mouth. She felt his shaft harden in the palm of her hand as she held it through the fabric of his trousers and undergarments. She stroked it as they kissed.

Snape was amazed at how quickly his body had recovered after so short a time; he felt like a young boy again. Before long he was thrusting into her hand, desperately wishing they were both devoid of their clothes and he was encasing himself in the warm tightness of her womb.

He pulled away suddenly, his own lips swollen from her ministrations. "We… can't… do this," he told her breathlessly.

Hermione's eyes were full of fire and desire. "Why can't we? We won't remember in the morning, anyway," she reminded him sadly. "This will all seem like a crazy dream. Let me relieve some of the strain, if only for a short while."

Not waiting for his reply, she began unbuttoning his trousers, but she didn't lower them or his undergarments. She unbuttoned his undergarments, gently reached in and pulled his erection from the confines of its fabric prison. It sprang free, the glans peeking from the foreskin and weeping that same pearly liquid as earlier.

"What… do you… plan on…" He didn't finish his sentence with words, but a low throaty groan as he felt her hot, wet mouth descend upon him. It was obvious she was very inexperienced as she awkwardly took him into her mouth while trying not to scrape her teeth on him.

Snape clutched the ladder and resisted the urge to begin thrusting. She was exploring with her tongue, discovering every groove, vein and inch of skin that she could. She experimented with pressure and found that he liked it very much when she used her fist to pull back his foreskin and swept her tongue over the groove just behind the head of his erection.

She sucked gently, tasting the salty texture of his fluids before sweeping her tongue along that groove again. Each sweep of her tongue brought more liquid into her mouth.

Snape moaned, his knuckles getting whiter and whiter as he continued to clutch the ladder and forced himself not to slam into the back of her throat. His hips tipped forward slightly of their own accord and pushed him further into her mouth than she was ready for. She gagged, pulling back.

He was breathing in ragged breaths, his chest heaving. "I can't… I'm going to…" Even without her mouth around him, he knew his release was near.

She placed a kiss on the tip of his erection and whispered, "Then let go…"

She descended on him again; this time she was ready for him as his hips moved forward, and he thrust gently into her mouth.

Snape tried to hold back, but the pressure was too much. His body stiffened and he felt his scrotum pull toward his body. That rush of impending release surged through his body, and a moment later his hips jerked and he ejaculated in several spurts. He felt her tongue move against him as she swallowed the thick liquid he released into her mouth and throat.

She withdrew gently, a smile on her face. She had wondered what it was like to do that for a man, and no one was more deserving than Severus Snape. She was too smart to think she loved him or that he loved her, but she felt a special something for him that she didn't feel for anyone else. She had a feeling he felt the same way about her, too.

"Gods…" he panted.

She brushed back his hair, damp around his face from the force of his release.

He leaned forward and kissed her lips, gently at first, and then with more force. He pushed his tongue into her mouth and explored it before sucking gently on her tongue.

Before she could register what he was doing, Snape had one hand down her corduroy pants while his other hand cupped one of her breasts and gave it a slow squeeze. Hermione moaned and arched her back.

His fingers ventured through the folds of skin between her legs, finding her slick, and he realized she was ready to be stimulated.

"Sev'rus… what are you… doing?"

"Returning the favor while I still can." He kissed her hard, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. The hand on her breast slid up to rest on her neck, while his other hand began unbuttoning her pants and lowering the zipper.

He tugged her pants and undergarments down until they bunched at her knees and replaced his hand. His fingers brushed over the curly hair above her sex, before his thumb stroked the swollen numb she was aching for him to touch.

She gasped as his mouth replaced his thumb and he sucked hard on the red jewel. Hermione arched her back and Snape used his left hand to balance her so she did not fall. He tortured her, knowing by her increased breathing that she was getting close. He stopped sucking and swirled his tongue through her folds before plunging it into the warm wetness of her body.

"Ohhh… Sev'rus… Ohhh…"

He penetrated her several times, then kissed her folds before returning his tongue to the swollen nub. He swirled his tongue around it and dipped one finger into her body to stroke the spongy flesh he knew would send her over the edge.

Moments later, she moaned his name, her muscles clamping hard around his finger. He continued with his tongue until the clamping slowed and her breathing began to even out. When several moments had passed, he removed his finger from her and then kissed her lips.

She threw her arms around him and he picked her up, hugging her tightly. If anyone had told him he would have had intercourse with Hermione Granger in the Potions storeroom tonight, and then they would have oral sex afterward, he would have said they were absolutely insane. And yet it had happened… only they were going to lose the delicious memories.

He buried his face in her hair, unwilling to let her go. Eventually, they released each other. Snape regretfully tucked himself back into his trousers and buttoned them while Hermione pulled her pants and undergarments up over her slender hips.

Snape forced himself to get serious. "It is time," he told her firmly.

Tears welled in her eyes as he retrieved his wand from on the shelf where he had deposited it earlier.

"I thought you couldn't do magic in here?" she asked.

"I shouldn't, but it cannot appear to you as if anything has changed from when we were taking inventory of this room. I will take the risk and will be careful."

"Severus, please don't do this. There must be another way."

"We have already gone through this, Hermione." He raised his wand, but she didn't miss the tears that were in his dark eyes. "You have released me from this horrible existence for one glorious night."

He swallowed hard. Forgive me, Hermione.

"Obliviate.”

Hermione blinked and looked at Professor Snape, who was glaring at her.

"Sir, what happened? I feel a bit light headed."

"You foolish girl," Snape snarled, narrowing his eyes so that she wouldn't see his tears. "You blacked out! You're far too tired to continue, and I'll not have my ingredients ruined because of your lack of sleep! Ten points from Gryffindor."

Hermione stepped back. The last she remembered, they were working together to organize the last of the ingredients after one of the lanterns had burned out. Snape had been almost civil and now he was acting like a mad man.

"Sir?"

"Get out!" he roared.

Hermione jumped at the angry tone of his voice, and with her brows furrowed in confusion and hurt, she fled the Potions storeroom as quickly as she could.

Snape watched her go, feeling more miserable than he'd ever felt before. He had just yelled at and reprimanded the only woman he had ever allowed into his life and heart.

He knew that if he went to Albus, the old fool would reprimand him for having relations with a student, and then the Headmaster would attempt to make him keep the memories in a Pensieve as punishment. Those memories of what he'd had tonight and could never have again would forever taunt him.

Snape closed his eyes and allowed each memory of Hermione's body and their love-making to enter his mind. He normally frowned upon such a term, but it fit tonight's activities. They had not engaged in harsh, pointless sex. He cared deeply about the witch he had been involved with and he had the feeling she felt the same about him.

The sound of her moaning his name while in the throes of passion was the last memory he visited before lifting his wand to his own temple.

It had to be this way, for the good of all.

One word echoed down the otherwise silent hall…

"Obliviate."