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Too Beautiful For You
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Remus/Sirius
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
5
Views:
5,139
Reviews:
11
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Remus/Sirius
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
5
Views:
5,139
Reviews:
11
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
2
Chapter Two
Long after the sound of teacups clinking on their saucers had ceased and the chatty banter about nothing in particular had faded into an uncomfortable silence, the two men sat fiddling with their spoons, steadfastly not looking at each other.
I can't believe I said that.
Sirius looked sullen, bordering on surly. It was a look Remus was accustomed to; he saw it most often when they argued and he won, usually by default with Sirius shouting Okay then, have it your way!
He looked at his friend across the table, sheepish guilt written all over his expression.
"I didn't mean...what I meant was---"
Dammmmmn. Why did I have to open my mouth?!
Remus felt sick. Distinctly sick, like when you've just downed a huge mouthful of milk straight from the jug only to realize after you've swallowed that it's well past its expiration date and quite lumpy.
"I guess I just...well, I love you Sirius, I always have if we're going to be totally honest about the whole thing."
Sirius wasn't looking at him. Remus' heart sank; he'd gone and done it now, revealed the truth about his deviant longing and now Sirius was mad at him, or worse, was about to banish him from his life forever. He deserved it, he truly did, he knew better than to spring this sort of thing on his best friend---nothing in their past could have possibly made him think Black would take well to this sort of revelation, nothing!
He felt the incomprehensible need to continue blabbering on, as though spilling his guts and the deepest desires of his heart were somehow essential to his survival. Black didn't interrupt, just sat looking nowhere, his face resting against his hand.
When he was finished, the two men sat in heavy silence, neither looking at the other.
After a long painful moment, Remus could stand it no longer.
"So...say something, Sirius. Anything. It doesn't even matter what."
Another long moment of silence passed, oppressive and suffocating in its weightiness. Remus felt like he was under water, his lungs crushing under the unbearable pressure of an oxygenless environment, struggling to break through the surface but unable to reach it because his hands and feet were bound. The tension was killing him.
"Sirius...?"
Black finally let out a long sigh. Running one hand through his wavy hair (I love it when he does that, Remus caught himself thinking) he raised his eyes slowly and met Lupin's gaze.
"Why did you never say anything about this before?"
The response took Lupin by surprise...dumbfounded, he stumbled over his words, trying to come up with an answer.
Why HADN'T he said anything?
"Well....I suppose I...."
Sirius was staring at him, his face expressionless, his eyes almost accusing. Remus could feel heat creeping up the back of his neck and slowly inching itself across his face as his cheeks began to flush crimson. He pulled his eyes away, unable to look at those endless pools of stormy ocean blue any longer.
"I think it may be because I knew it would come to no good."
Sirius cocked an eyebrow, but his face remained impassive, his eyes unrelenting. "No good?"
Remus shook his head, wishing he could take back his choice of words and replace them with something better, words that truly said what he wanted them to say. Nothing came. At a loss, he frowned across the table at Sirius.
"I know you prefer women. Hell, I do too, which is why I can't explain this...it didn't just happen, it's something that's grown over the years."
Cold blue stare.
"It's not like I want to have sex with you...I mean, it's never really crossed my mind, to be purely honest about it...it's just a feeling I have around you, something warm and deep and---"
"Fuzzy?"
"Yes, I suppose that's a word that could---" He looked up, suddenly realizing Sirius had spoken.
The cold blue stare was breaking into a grin.
"You're having a bit of fun with me, aren't you you wretch?"
Raucous laughter erupted from Black's throat, the kind of laughter that has obviously been pent up for far too long and can't be contained any longer; he threw his head back, tipping his chair up precariously on two legs, and roared.
Remus shook his head.
"You suck, Sirius."
"You mean you wish I did!!"
"Oh ha ha, I knew it would come to this---and you wanted to know why I never said anything?! This is why!!"
He stood, pushing his chair back and bowing his head to his friend.
"I'm going now, I'll bid you a good night and pleasant dreams."
Sirius was still snickering, rocking back and forth on two chair legs as Remus left the manor, slamming the heavy wooden door behind him.
-----------------------------------
Long after the sound of teacups clinking on their saucers had ceased and the chatty banter about nothing in particular had faded into an uncomfortable silence, the two men sat fiddling with their spoons, steadfastly not looking at each other.
I can't believe I said that.
Sirius looked sullen, bordering on surly. It was a look Remus was accustomed to; he saw it most often when they argued and he won, usually by default with Sirius shouting Okay then, have it your way!
He looked at his friend across the table, sheepish guilt written all over his expression.
"I didn't mean...what I meant was---"
Dammmmmn. Why did I have to open my mouth?!
Remus felt sick. Distinctly sick, like when you've just downed a huge mouthful of milk straight from the jug only to realize after you've swallowed that it's well past its expiration date and quite lumpy.
"I guess I just...well, I love you Sirius, I always have if we're going to be totally honest about the whole thing."
Sirius wasn't looking at him. Remus' heart sank; he'd gone and done it now, revealed the truth about his deviant longing and now Sirius was mad at him, or worse, was about to banish him from his life forever. He deserved it, he truly did, he knew better than to spring this sort of thing on his best friend---nothing in their past could have possibly made him think Black would take well to this sort of revelation, nothing!
He felt the incomprehensible need to continue blabbering on, as though spilling his guts and the deepest desires of his heart were somehow essential to his survival. Black didn't interrupt, just sat looking nowhere, his face resting against his hand.
When he was finished, the two men sat in heavy silence, neither looking at the other.
After a long painful moment, Remus could stand it no longer.
"So...say something, Sirius. Anything. It doesn't even matter what."
Another long moment of silence passed, oppressive and suffocating in its weightiness. Remus felt like he was under water, his lungs crushing under the unbearable pressure of an oxygenless environment, struggling to break through the surface but unable to reach it because his hands and feet were bound. The tension was killing him.
"Sirius...?"
Black finally let out a long sigh. Running one hand through his wavy hair (I love it when he does that, Remus caught himself thinking) he raised his eyes slowly and met Lupin's gaze.
"Why did you never say anything about this before?"
The response took Lupin by surprise...dumbfounded, he stumbled over his words, trying to come up with an answer.
Why HADN'T he said anything?
"Well....I suppose I...."
Sirius was staring at him, his face expressionless, his eyes almost accusing. Remus could feel heat creeping up the back of his neck and slowly inching itself across his face as his cheeks began to flush crimson. He pulled his eyes away, unable to look at those endless pools of stormy ocean blue any longer.
"I think it may be because I knew it would come to no good."
Sirius cocked an eyebrow, but his face remained impassive, his eyes unrelenting. "No good?"
Remus shook his head, wishing he could take back his choice of words and replace them with something better, words that truly said what he wanted them to say. Nothing came. At a loss, he frowned across the table at Sirius.
"I know you prefer women. Hell, I do too, which is why I can't explain this...it didn't just happen, it's something that's grown over the years."
Cold blue stare.
"It's not like I want to have sex with you...I mean, it's never really crossed my mind, to be purely honest about it...it's just a feeling I have around you, something warm and deep and---"
"Fuzzy?"
"Yes, I suppose that's a word that could---" He looked up, suddenly realizing Sirius had spoken.
The cold blue stare was breaking into a grin.
"You're having a bit of fun with me, aren't you you wretch?"
Raucous laughter erupted from Black's throat, the kind of laughter that has obviously been pent up for far too long and can't be contained any longer; he threw his head back, tipping his chair up precariously on two legs, and roared.
Remus shook his head.
"You suck, Sirius."
"You mean you wish I did!!"
"Oh ha ha, I knew it would come to this---and you wanted to know why I never said anything?! This is why!!"
He stood, pushing his chair back and bowing his head to his friend.
"I'm going now, I'll bid you a good night and pleasant dreams."
Sirius was still snickering, rocking back and forth on two chair legs as Remus left the manor, slamming the heavy wooden door behind him.
-----------------------------------