Heartbeats in the night
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
2
Views:
1,271
Reviews:
9
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
2
Views:
1,271
Reviews:
9
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
I lie awake
A/N: Thanx for the reviews. Here's the second (and probably last, don't know yet) chapter. Draco's POV. Hope you like it! :)
I lie awake
I lie awake at night.
I’m telling tell myself it’s not because I want to listen to your peaceful breathing behind my back.
You’re asleep. I’m not surprised. I did exhaust you tonight.
I remember the way you looked at me when I captured your lips hungrily not even waiting for you to close the door.
I remember how you couldn’t hide the futile hope in your deep green eyes – the hope that this time it would be different.
I remember that anger flared in my heart.
I remember how roughly I pushed you on the large bed – strong fingers locked around your arms, branding you with my lust. I took you with all the force I could manage, as if wanting to erase that look from your innocent face by ripping you apart. I barely heard your screams as I came deep inside of you, forcing out an animalistic growl to stifle your sweet name on my lips.
I never know whether it is pain or pleasure that makes you scream. I tell myself I don’t care. How easy it is to get used to lying to myself. Probably because I had been raised to lie and deceive. To deceive myself is just the next step, I guess.
I turn around to face your back, careful, not to wake you up. I watch the slight movement of your shoulders as you breathe. You seem so peaceful. I wish I could see your face. I watch the moonlight play with your black curls and suddenly feel fiery waves of jealousy rushing through my veins. How can I be jealous of the moon? She can’t give you what you crave. ‘Can you?’ I hear her whisper with an icy voice. Does it matter? We’re just shagging – I keep telling myself – just shagging. ‘Just shagging, just shagging…’ The moon mockingly repeats my words, grinning coldly, all knowingly. She can see through me.
Suddenly your breathing becomes uneven and nervous. I can tell you’re awake. It scares me because if you turned around now, you could see me. You could see what I really am, instead of the stone mask of indifference that I want you to see. So, I quickly close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. ‘Coward.’ I can hear the moon laughing. You shift a bit but don’t turn around. That’s when I hear it. You’re crying. It hurts to know it’s because of me. I don’t dare to ask myself why I care.
Despite my better judgement, I put my hand on your bruised arm. My heart is pounding wildly as you look in my eyes through your liquid pain. I see how you fight to regain composure as you tell me it was only a dream. I don’t think it’s a lie. I could tell if it was, being so familiar with lying, myself.
I’m scared. I’m scared of what you’ll see in my eyes, but slowly the sensation of having you so close to me melts away my fear. I carefully wipe away a tear from your cheek before it could reach the white pillow. I can almost feel your heart beating nervously underneath me, like a captured bird, not sure if she wants to escape her torturer.
Why am I doing this to you? To us. Since when is there an ‘us’, I wonder. Maybe since the first time we met. Maybe we just needed time to realize it. Maybe I should trust us. Maybe… And slowly our lips are touching. It’s not even a kiss but it makes me feel vulnerable. If you only knew… But I don’t want you to know – my mind screams; so I push myself away from you, knowing that you’re still watching me.
Sometimes I wish I could fail and tell you. Sometimes I hate being so good at shielding my emotions from you. All I want is to turn around, press my face against your chest and fall asleep to the sweet lullaby of your heartbeat. But I can’t. Not yet. Someday. Maybe.
Yes, someday, I will be able to open up and put down my defences. I will give myself to you just to be hurt and broken. Because no matter what my heart believes and your lips say, the moon is right... I can’t give you what you crave.
A/N: Sorry, I'm so sorry!!! I know I should have ended this with 'Maybe.', but I couldn't stop my fingers, they just kept writing. Sorry for the ending!
I lie awake at night.
I’m telling tell myself it’s not because I want to listen to your peaceful breathing behind my back.
You’re asleep. I’m not surprised. I did exhaust you tonight.
I remember the way you looked at me when I captured your lips hungrily not even waiting for you to close the door.
I remember how you couldn’t hide the futile hope in your deep green eyes – the hope that this time it would be different.
I remember that anger flared in my heart.
I remember how roughly I pushed you on the large bed – strong fingers locked around your arms, branding you with my lust. I took you with all the force I could manage, as if wanting to erase that look from your innocent face by ripping you apart. I barely heard your screams as I came deep inside of you, forcing out an animalistic growl to stifle your sweet name on my lips.
I never know whether it is pain or pleasure that makes you scream. I tell myself I don’t care. How easy it is to get used to lying to myself. Probably because I had been raised to lie and deceive. To deceive myself is just the next step, I guess.
I turn around to face your back, careful, not to wake you up. I watch the slight movement of your shoulders as you breathe. You seem so peaceful. I wish I could see your face. I watch the moonlight play with your black curls and suddenly feel fiery waves of jealousy rushing through my veins. How can I be jealous of the moon? She can’t give you what you crave. ‘Can you?’ I hear her whisper with an icy voice. Does it matter? We’re just shagging – I keep telling myself – just shagging. ‘Just shagging, just shagging…’ The moon mockingly repeats my words, grinning coldly, all knowingly. She can see through me.
Suddenly your breathing becomes uneven and nervous. I can tell you’re awake. It scares me because if you turned around now, you could see me. You could see what I really am, instead of the stone mask of indifference that I want you to see. So, I quickly close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. ‘Coward.’ I can hear the moon laughing. You shift a bit but don’t turn around. That’s when I hear it. You’re crying. It hurts to know it’s because of me. I don’t dare to ask myself why I care.
Despite my better judgement, I put my hand on your bruised arm. My heart is pounding wildly as you look in my eyes through your liquid pain. I see how you fight to regain composure as you tell me it was only a dream. I don’t think it’s a lie. I could tell if it was, being so familiar with lying, myself.
I’m scared. I’m scared of what you’ll see in my eyes, but slowly the sensation of having you so close to me melts away my fear. I carefully wipe away a tear from your cheek before it could reach the white pillow. I can almost feel your heart beating nervously underneath me, like a captured bird, not sure if she wants to escape her torturer.
Why am I doing this to you? To us. Since when is there an ‘us’, I wonder. Maybe since the first time we met. Maybe we just needed time to realize it. Maybe I should trust us. Maybe… And slowly our lips are touching. It’s not even a kiss but it makes me feel vulnerable. If you only knew… But I don’t want you to know – my mind screams; so I push myself away from you, knowing that you’re still watching me.
Sometimes I wish I could fail and tell you. Sometimes I hate being so good at shielding my emotions from you. All I want is to turn around, press my face against your chest and fall asleep to the sweet lullaby of your heartbeat. But I can’t. Not yet. Someday. Maybe.
Yes, someday, I will be able to open up and put down my defences. I will give myself to you just to be hurt and broken. Because no matter what my heart believes and your lips say, the moon is right... I can’t give you what you crave.
A/N: Sorry, I'm so sorry!!! I know I should have ended this with 'Maybe.', but I couldn't stop my fingers, they just kept writing. Sorry for the ending!