Draco's Cracked Mask

*WARNING* This section is not as dark and angry as the previous. It does not include any sex or fluff or porn; it’s mainly angst, with hope at the end. I’m still angry at my most recent ex, but in that, I feel hope because it means I can begin to heal.

Back story: Draco and Harry were together, but their destinies have ripped them apart. Draco, as a Malfoy, is expected to serve the Dark Lord and take the Mark—although in his soliloquy, he has only agreed to take it, but he hasn’t ACTUALLY yet. Anyway, Harry has to fulfill his destiny of killing Voldemort, which brings their relationship to an end.

This chapter is from Harry’s point of view (as you will see) and it includes a bit more of a plotline/story than the previous chapter. This is where the hope comes in (the hope that I mentioned in the *WARNING* from the previous chapter). I think it’s fairly obvious, though, when the words are Harry’s thoughts and when the words take up the plot.

Also, just so you know, in my head, Draco would have taken the Dark Mark and THEN been ordered to kill Dumbledore.

I hope it seems realistic and relatable.
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Draco. Draco, I see you. Yes, I know I can see you…what I mean is I see YOU. I SEE you. The you who is underneath the condescending sneer. The kind, thoughtful gentleman whose only goal was to make me happy; and you did. You do. I love you. I love you so much it hurts, and I should feel guilty for loving you, because I know I’m not supposed to. You are the best thing that ever happened to me; how can I feel guilty about that? We’re on opposite sides, even though we, you and I, are on the same team. I wish everyone could see you the way I do. Everyone would love you, if they saw what I saw. How could they not? I can’t help but love you.

Damn you for being a Malfoy, and damn me for being me. We are more alike than we ever knew, but sometimes, I wish I could be more like you. I wish I could put on a mask, because it’s exhausting to have everyone know every thought that goes through my head, just because it shows up on my face. There are some things that no one knows about, though. The times we spent together; how gentle and passionate you can be; and the way I wake up sobbing in the middle of the night because you are no longer there. These are the things no one knows about.

When I close my eyes, I see you before me. The loving look in your grey eyes is burned into my memory. Haunting me. Reminding me of what I’ve lost. I didn’t want to lose you. You should be mine! I love you much more than THEY ever did or ever will. I know it wasn’t your choice to leave, but I wish you would come back to me. This hurts like when Sirius died; only I think it’s worse, because you’re still alive. You and I still could be; we’re just not.

Ron, Hermione, McGonagall, Dumbledore, and the rest of Gryffindor have been great. They’ve been here for me, and I appreciate them very much…but they’re just not you. Only you make me feel complete…you make me worthy. Imagine me, Harry James Potter, being worthy of a Malfoy! It makes my head spin that you chose me! And then my heart got put in a Muggle blender, and You-Know-Who pushed the “on” button…you shouldn’t be there! You should be here! With me!


I can’t let you do it. I knew you didn’t want the Mark, and I let you go. No! I won’t make that mistake again! You told me where and when it would take place. I inform Dumbledore just before I leave. He told me not to go, but I could hear him scrambling to get a team of Aurors together. I haven’t been training for nothing; besides, you showed me the secret way into Malfoy Manor, to avoid the wards. I am Harry Potter, and I would rather die by Voldemort’s hand than let him have you.

I slice neatly through the charms placed on the door to the dungeon. I can hear Dumbledore calling for me; he works quickly. I look at him and disappear down the stairs. I can hear his Aurors following me; good, they can take care of the Death Eaters. I burst into the room just as Voldemort raised his wand to your flesh. My eyes take in the scene. I am very surprised that it is just you, your father, and him. Your father is standing over you, holding you down. Holding your left arm out in sacrifice to the Dark Lord. I point my wand at the man who looks like you; the man who should have protected you, and I Stun him. He is not my main concern right now, although I should like to have about an hour with him in a locked room someday.

I stride across the room, wand pointed at Voldemort. My step is utterly confident, a very real echo of yours. You would be proud of me; you taught me that. I stop not a foot from him. He looks down at me, still laughing and sneering. I reach down and place my left palm on the left side of your bare chest; I can feel your heart beating, and it gives me strength. My wand is in my right hand, directed at him. The time is at hand: it is here. It is now. Now, it will all be over.

“I have power that you know not, Tom Riddle,” I say to him. His laughter disappears. I have wiped that smug smile off of his face without touching him. “I have the power of love. He is mine, and you will not have him. Avada Kedavra.” A flash of green light. I feel a huge rush rising up from inside me. At first, I think I’m about to throw up, but then I feel a tingle in my left hand. I look over at you, and you’re staring back at me with that loving gaze that makes everything alright again, even with the Dark Lord standing right in front of me. I feel a wave of magical power that emanates from you, from where my hand is touching your body. It surges from you to me, mingling with the magical rush (I realize now that it is magic, not nausea) and it blasts from my wand point straight at Voldemort, killing him instantly.

I didn’t miss. I was less than a foot away from him; I should HOPE my aim is damn good at that range, but I didn’t miss. In one instant, the war and the reign of terror that has been going on for my entire life, and ten years before I was born, is over. The time of peace is here. My life, my destiny…our destinies…are fulfilled. We no longer belong to anything other than ourselves, and we can be together. I am yours, and you are mine.

I sink to my knees, weak from the ancient magic that has just rippled through my entire body. You lean forward and quickly put your arms around me, drawing me nearer to you. I have enough strength to wrap my arms around you as hot tears scald my face. I begin to shake from the adrenaline aftermath; I came so close to losing you. I can feel that tears are spilling down your cheeks as well. The mask is off. It is shattered for now, and we are content to hold each other, weeping, while everyone around us cleans up and prepares to celebrate the Dark Lord’s demise.

Everything that hurt five minutes ago is healing. Being close to you is the perfect salve for my broken heart; you put me back together. I can feel the fear, the anger, and the heartbreak melt away from you, too, as we hold each other close. Over and over, I whisper how much I love you; how you are mine and no one else’s; how I’m yours; and how I can never let you go. I will move heaven and hell to be with you, because I am your lover.

I know that you need the mask; that it will slip over your face again eventually. But not right now, and never with me. I see you because you let me. You will wear the mask around others, but never again will it hide your love for me. That is out in the open to stay. I know you need the mask, but I am glad that it is cracked, because it means I can peek in at you while the rest of the world sees what you want them to see. I love you, my lover.
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Author’s note: Continuing with what I said before, in my head, Draco would have taken the Dark Mark and THEN been ordered to kill Dumbledore, but that never comes to pass. I hadn’t planned on doing a “chapter 2” actually…I wasn’t sure, so I left it open. However, I don’t think I’ll do a chapter 3, so just know that they “live happily ever after, riding off into the sunset on a white horse” etc, etc. Again, if you feel so inclined to review it, I’m always interested in your opinions. If you see something that seems out of character, please let me know. Thanks!

Yami Bakura—thank you for your kind review. Yours is the first I ever got! :) Yay. I do have a couple of unfinished pieces in the works. I HATE waiting for new chapters (I’m an impatient person) so I’d rather have the story finished or almost so before I publish it.

And yes, I did feel better after writing. It’s definitely a very good outlet, but sometimes I feel like I’m a better writer when I have dark, angry thoughts for inspiration. lol We’ll see…


thrnbrooke—thanks for your review. I felt bad about leaving the ending of it so angry, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do a chapter 2 that had more hope. You changed my mind. :) I hope your questions were answered in this chapter, from Harry’s POV.

What broke them up? In my head, I was thinking that they ended up falling for each other, but then circumstances broke them up. It wasn’t anything per se, just bad timing and the fact that they were supposed to be allied against each other.

Does Harry still love him? Yes, yes he does. And it ends with hope, which (right now) is more than I can say for my real-life inspiration *bitter laugh*

Danine—I saw your review just before I posted this chapter. lol I am glad that you reacted. Thank you for the hugs; I’ve been in denial for a while now, so I’m actually glad that I’m angry, because it’s the next step in the healing process, even if it hurts. But I AM feeling more hopeful than last night; hence, this chapter. Thank you for your comments; I prefer not to threaten or pressure people to review.