Where Are You Christmas?

Tittle::Where Are You Christmas 2/?
Author:: SeulWolfe/Calanor
Rating:: Mature (M)Eventually NC-17
Pairing:: Snape/Harry, Remus/Lucius, Draco/Ron, Sirius/Bill, Hermione/Charlie, Neville/Luna, Fred/George, mentions of Harry/Cedric
Contains:: angst, drama, romance, AU
Warnings:: Spoilers through book 4, with some changes... NO book 5 or 6
Summary:: Father Christmas needs Harry and friends help this year because he's laying in the infirmary as Albus Dumbledore after helping Harry defeat Voldemort in the final battle. Harry must get past his own insecurities and past demons to truly learn what the Christmas spirit is. Maybe this year, Santa will help him find love to last a lifetime as well.
A/N:: This fic is dedicated to anonymous for the gift of paid LJ time. Thank you... and to my best friend.. Morganlefay1958.

Merry Christmas and Blessed Yuletide.


Chapter Two


Harry landed an hour later in Godric's Hollow, frozen and cold to the bone. The door opened as he approached and closed immediately behind him. It wasn't the same house that he spent his first year in with his parents, but it was home to him now.

It was his.

It was open and airy.

There was no cupboard under the stairs--no place in the basement to be locked into. Only Dobby and Winky went down to the basement. A wave of his hand and the fireplace roared to life in the living room, as he settled himself down on the large plushy couch. Harry had always thought that Father Christmas was a legend, a story to tell children to make them behave.

He hated the holidays. Everyone had someone. The Weasley's... well they had each other and their spouses. They had made him feel like a part of the family, but he didn't have someone to call his own. Not since Cedric died. Even Sirius was part of the Weasley Clan by marrying Bill at the Summer Solstice this past year. Hermione married Charlie the same day and was expecting a child anytime now. Ginny tried her best to get her claws in him after Cedric died, but he was not going to go that road. Not after the Love Potion catastrophe. Clutching a pillow to his chest, Harry fell asleep on the couch and soon found himself walking through an old Victorian house.

"Harry! Harry Potter!"

A white haired gentleman with a short, neatly trimmed beard, stepped from nowhere--a man who looked an awful lot like Dumbledore. Harry stopped, and stared, eyes narrowed.

Then another stepped forward, "Hello, my boy."

"Albus!" Harry looked between both men, "Who are you?"

"I am Father Christmas, but my friends and brothers call me Tiberius."

Harry frowned, "But Albus Dumbledore is Father Christmas."

"Well yes, but only for the last twelve years."

"I don't understand." Harry looked back and forth between the very similar men standing before him.

"What don't you understand, child." Father Christmas asked.

"How can you be Father Christmas... and the Headmaster as well?

The room they stood in, shifted to a lovely warm parlor. "Lets sit while I explain, Harry." The large man who looked every bit like Santa, but different, sat down in a plump chair. A large mug of hot cocoa appeared in his hands. "Please have some," a wave of his hand, similar mugs of cocoa appeared in Albus and Harry's hands.

"There are many of us. Some have passed on. Others are still lingering about, still doing their part to keep the Santa magic alive. They love to sit in the malls and hear the hearts desires of small children. I, myself, have backed up Albus here during the war, when he couldn't get away to deliver presents. Or could only do half the job. Some of us still help out. There are a lot of children to deliver to."

Harry looked out to the side. Swallowing his emotions, "How did I get missed?"

The old man took a sip of the hot brew, "I did leave you presents, Harry. But for some reason you didn't receive them."

"The Dursley's--but, they would have done something."

"Like what my Boy?"

"Uncle Vernon would have destroyed them in front of me or give them to Dudley, just to make me feel even more unwanted." Pain flashed in his eyes at the memories of empty Christmases.

"I'm guessing they gave them to your Cousin."

Harry nodded. "But other years?"

"You disappeared from my lists."

"And Dudley?"

The old man cleared his throat. "I think even you would realize he wouldn’t show up on my list-of good children."

The men were silent for a long moment, "But how did I not show up on your list. I tried to be good. All I wanted was for someone to love me--even the Dursley's. I cleaned, cooked and didn't do anything freakish."

Albus closed his eyes. So many wrongs. So many bad decisions. His heart ached for the lonely boy Harry had been, and the part of him that was still that lonely boy. He never thought that Petunia Dursley couldn't, wouldn't, see past the magic and see the child. Harry as a baby had been a delight. His chubby smile would light up a room with his own special magic. How anyone could not love such a child, he could not begin to fathom. Looking down at his hands, he thought that maybe he shouldn't have stopped Severus, Remus, Sirius and Lucius from having their revenge that summer when they found a broken Harry. Rubbing a place over his heart, he wondered, how could he make it up to him?

"Tiberius, what happened? When he came to Hogwarts, he was there-on the list."

"Harry? When you were growing up... did you ever give up on me? Did you ever think of yourself as a ‘nobody’?"

By now, Harry was crying silent tears. "So I did this to myself?"

"NO! No, I think you forgot to believe in me. I also think to make yourself more normal to them and accept you as yourself; you started to believe you were a ‘nobody’. That was, until you came to Hogwarts and experienced magic. You saw that there were things to believe in again. You found your faith in the world again, when you saw that not everyone was like your relatives."

Albus looked up and stared into Harry’s eyes. “There was something you received that first Christmas at Hogwarts that also gave you comfort, and continued to do so, for many nights after.”

Eyes widened, "Jamie...." Harry whispered. Albus smiled.

"You gave me Jamie?"

"Where did you think that dragon came from?"

"I didn't. I thought maybe Hagrid." Harry wiped a tear away, "Dudley tried to destroy it that summer. Even Uncle Vernon tried. He said children like me didn’t deserve toys. It drove him mad that he couldn’t even mar that dragon, so he took Jamie away from me and told me I wouldn’t get him back. But the next morning… Jamie was with me in my cupboard… my locked cupboard. After that, Uncle Vernon just pretended Jamie didn’t exist. Though he did turn a violent shade of purple every time Jamie spit smoke.” Harry smiled at the memory for a moment.

"I thought you were given a room of your own?”

"I was, but they still used that cupboard for punishments. Aunt Petunia would fret at him that they were being watched, but he didn’t care. He locked me in there anyway. That didn’t stop until Sirius escaped and they found out he was my godfather."

"I did wrong by you, Harry. I should have known something was wrong."

"Albus, I kept my secrets. I was ashamed of what was happening to me. I learned quickly that anything and everything became front-page news in the Prophet, so I stayed quiet. But Christmas always reminded me that I was alone."

Albus thought for a moment. "The Weasley's consider you their eighth child. Molly has said that often enough."

"I know, but I'm not. It's like being in a room full of people and still being alone. Always alone, never part of the whole."

Tiberius sat forward, "Christmas is a time of renewal. A time to reach out and seek what you desire the most. To give and to receive. To listen to the music. The lights. The decorated trees. Mistletoe. Caroling. The Yule Log. Spending time with those you care the most about, and to just to feel the joy of the season. Christmas is a feeling that lives in all of us."

Albus leaned forward and took Harry's hand in his old one. "Tom Riddle is dead, Harry. It's time to live your life anyway you want. Cedric wouldn't want you to grieve forever and live a life alone. You were meant for so much more than killing off a dark wizard."

Harry's head was bowed as he absorbed the words, "There was a time when I didn't think I would live to see past that. I never saw myself old or having a family."

"That was one of your wishes," Tiberius said, "You wished for family. The mistakes have been made, but the wish still stands. Isn't it time to quit dwelling in the past and move into the future? You can still have your wish. You can have a family of your own to love and to love you. You just need to take the steps, make the effort to spread the spirit of Christmas."

Harry laughed through his tears, "Like helping Santa and his elves make sure Christmas happens?"

"Of course," Albus was twinkling full force. "And I'll be helping as well. Other reinforcements are coming...can't have a wayward child spy a Santa that looks like one those Weasley's can we?"

"I think Fred and George delivering presents may not be a good idea... what do you think Harry?" The blue eyes glinted with mischief.

It warmed Albus’ heart to see Harry smile and hear genuine laughter. Something, which had been missing for some time from the young man's life. This Christmas would indeed be different, if for no other reason, than to bring Harry Potter back to the land of the living, as a whole valued individual.

"But it might be funny to see Severus dressed up as Santa... red might be a good color on him."

Three men joined in laughter.

Yes, it was a time of Healing.

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TBC ......