Nothing is what it seems

“It’s ok, Harry. They know I’m innocent.” Sirius replied, with a huge grin across his face.

“Are you sure? What about the dementors?” Harry asked, not wanting to get his hopes up.

“Seriously, it’s sorted. Trust me.” Sirius responded earnestly.

“But…how?”

“Dumbledore. He explained to them… uh, Harry, this means that…well, if you want…you can live with me after all. I mean, I know I offered before but obviously that didn’t work out. And I mean, I know you never knew your father…and I would never dream of taking his place…but perhaps, well, you know…I was thinking maybe we could be like father and son?” He proposed, apprehensively.

Harry felt elated. After all those years of being unloved and disregarded, he was finally going to have someone to look after him. To care for him. He couldn’t describe the happiness pounding through his chest.

“You awake, Harry?”

Harry’s eyes flew open, his head beginning to pound furiously. Ron was standing beside his bed, his eyebrows slightly raised. Harry felt groggy, the dream still buzzing through his mind. It had been so real. He had seriously thought Sirius was still alive, had still wanted to be a big part of his life. The reality cut him like a knife. He thought his head was going to explode, but for once, the pain was not originating from his scar. He closed his eyes, the pain was unbearable.

“Harry? What’s wrong?” Ron nervously asked.

Harry opened his eyes once more, and attempted to sit up but immediately received a stabbing pain in the back of his head for his trouble. He flopped back against his bed and struggled to focus his eyes, which were increasingly becoming blurry. He could vaguely make out Ron’s anxious face and attempted to smile reassuringly. However, it must have looked more like a grimace because Ron did not seem comforted.

“I’ll go and get madam Pomfrey…you look really pale.” Ron said, as he began to move off his bed.

Harry said nothing as Ron left the dormitory but closed his eyes again and felt his mind begin to wander back to last night’s events. He remembered Ginny’s face as he told her he couldn’t be with her and wondered how she was feeling today. He couldn’t figure out what had gone wrong between the two of them. It wasn’t that he didn’t love her - he did, but not in the way that she wanted him to. Harry had felt sure that he had wanted to start dating her but it wasn’t until after they had begun seeing each other that he had realised he did not like her in that way.

Suddenly he heard the door open again and people enter the room. Taking yet another attempt to feebly open his eyes, he saw madam Pomfrey standing above him. She felt his head, looked into his eyes and asked him a few questions. A few moments later, she announced it was just a tension headache and that she would give him a draught to drink and he would feel better within an hour or two. She left and returned with the potion ten minutes later.

Once she had left, Harry snuggled back down into his duvet, waiting for the effects of the potion to take place, glad of the opportunity to sleep for a little longer.

“I have to go to Defence Against the Dark Arts. Are you ok?” Asked Ron, who had been sitting in silence cross the room from Harry.

“Yeah… You go.” Harry replied. He listened for the other boy to leave the room and then he sighed. Although most teenage boys would be pleased to be missing a lesson, Harry couldn’t help but feel disappointed. After all, Defence Against the Dark Arts was his favourite lesson and he didn’t particularly enjoy lying around idly. The memory of his dream began to come back to him. He could see Sirius’ face so clearly. The older man had looked no different from the last time Harry had seen him - still full of life. Christmas was quickly approaching and he knew he would have to spend the holidays at school on his own. Ron was going to Romania with his family to visit his brother and Hermione was going to Spain. He had had invitations from both of his friends but he could no longer stand watching his best friends being so happy at Christmas, with their families around them. It wasn’t that he wished they did not have loving families, he just wished he could have the same thing. Although Mrs Weasley tried to treat him like a son, it just wasn’t the same. Imagining what it would be like to spend Christmas with Sirius and opening presents together was a scene that had pulsed through Harry’s mind various times ever since he had died, and it pained him that it could never become a reality.

A few hours later, the headache seemed to subside. He opened his eyes, bracing himself for the sharp pain to wrench through his brain but it never came. He stood up and looked at the time. It was almost lunchtime, so he decided to get up. That would give him an hour to get dressed and go for a walk before lunch. Fifteen minutes later, he picked up his wand from on top of his trunk and left the dormitory.

He walked past the great hall and stepped outside. The fresh, December air filtered through his lungs, making the last of his grogginess disappear. After walking for five minutes, he came to the lake. He stood still for a few moments, watching the ripples appearing on the surface from the wind brushing over it. Deciding he would rather sit down and enjoy the bitter breeze rather than walk any further, he sat down, still hypnotised by the beauty of the lake.

However, he did not enjoy the peace for long. He looked up and noticed Draco Malfoy and his goons approaching. He moved to the left so that he was hidden from view, still feeling slightly drained and therefore wanting to avoid a fight.

“No, Goyle. I’ve told you a thousand times. I need to do it for my father.” Malfoy’s cold voice rung through the air.

“But…”

“No. I have to. I have no other choice.”

Harry wished he had his invisibility cloak. He wanted to know what Malfoy was doing that was so important to his father. Suspicion began to creep up him. He knew that Lucius Malfoy was one of Voldemort’s closest followers and now that he was in Azkaban, he could no longer serve him. So Harry guessed this information was related to whatever it was that Malfoy had to do.

The three boys began to walk away. Harry fought with his curiosity for a few moments before realising there was no way he could follow them. Malfoy would see him, and although Harry was not remotely afraid of Malfoy, he didn’t particularly want to be confronted by him whilst accompanied by his sidekicks.

Once he was sure Malfoy was out of sight, he stood up and began to walk inside.

***

Later on that evening, Harry found himself sitting in the library struggling to complete his charms essay. He hadn’t paid attention in the previous lesson when Professor Flitwick was explaining the advantages of using a singing charm. Personally, he couldn’t see how being able to make a teapot sing for hours on end could provide any kind of advantage to him at all and thought the charm was pretty pointless. After spending a while longer thinking about anything he could possibly gain from making an inanimate object make a lot of noise, he finally closed his book and began to stare at the wall.

He could have only been sitting there nonchalantly for about ten minutes before Draco Malfoy entered. Shooting Harry a malicious look, he sat down at a table across the room and pulled out some heavy looking books from his bag. Within minutes, he had picked up his pen and had begun to write. Harry watched him as complete concentration dominated the blonde boy’s features and couldn’t help remarking to himself how harmless he looked. The general dim lighting of the room combined with the sharp light next to Malfoy, shone over him accentuating the golden quality of his hair and defining his precise facial features. Harry wondered why he was alone. That wasn’t like Malfoy at all. But then again, Malfoy did take his schoolwork seriously, that was one of the only things Harry could give him credit for.

Without warning, Malfoy suddenly looked up and caught Harry staring at him. Feeling his cheeks blush with embarrassment, Harry quickly looked away and pretended to read the essay that was in front of him.

“What you staring at, Potter?” Malfoy called, callously, from across the room.

Harry looked up once again. “Don’t flatter yourself, Malfoy,” he said, simply, before pushing the rest of his stuff into his bag and leaving the library.

***

The next few weeks flew past and before Harry knew it, it was the day before the Christmas holidays. He sat on his bed as he watched Ron finish his packing. Surges of regret swept through him as he remembered refusing the invitations he was given in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Although, at the time, he had thought he wouldn’t mind remaining at Hogwarts for the holidays on his own, he was finally realising he did mind. Very much so. After offering Ron some help with his packing, and having his offer refused, he went downstairs to the common room to relax. Hermione was sitting in the armchair in front of the fireplace, watching two bewitched knitting needles knitting a small jumper.

“Hullo ‘Mione,” Harry mumbled as he suck into the chair next to her.

“Oh, hello Harry. I just thought I would knit a few more jumpers before I leave. I hate to think of all of those poor house elves who are going to be stuck here over Christmas,” she replied with great enthusiasm.

Harry couldn’t be bothered to try to explain to her that they would have nowhere to go even if they were freed because he knew the hassle he would get would be greater than the importance of telling her. Instead, he said nothing.

Hermione continued, “I was in the library yesterday, and I couldn’t help but overhear what Malfoy was saying.”

Harry perked up at this. He had not managed to shake off his suspicions from when he had overheard him a few weeks ago. “Why, what did he say? I knew he was up to something!”

“No, it was nothing like that. It was about his plans for the Christmas holidays…”

Harry looked at her, waiting for her to carry on.

“…Well, he’s staying at Hogwarts too. He seemed pretty annoyed. He mentioned something about his mother having to attend some kind of gathering, or something…”

Harry’s heart sunk. So not only did he have to spend Christmas without his friends, but he couldn’t even escape his arch enemy for a couple of weeks. Suddenly, the thought of Christmas became a dread rather than a remote excitement.

“Well, the only reason I’m telling you is because I think you should try to stay out of his way. I mean, it’s Christmas and you shouldn’t let him bother you…”

“I’ll be fine, Hermione. I can handle that git.” Harry replied with a reassuring grin. Hermione leant over and hugged him at this point. Although Harry hated Malfoy, he couldn’t help but realise that this could be an opportunity to find out what he was up to. He broke away from Hermione and focussed his eyes on the knitting that was taking place on the table in front of him and grinned. He knew she had a kind heart but she didn’t always choose the right approach when it came to trying to help.

A loud noise came from the staircase and shortly after, Ron’s case appeared at the bottom. Ron appeared shortly after it, looking slightly flustered. He kicked the trunk and then approached where Harry and Hermione were sitting and sat down next to them. They sat like that for a few minutes, just enjoying each others company before Ron and Hermione had to go and catch the train home. They said goodbye to each other and then Ron and Hermione left the common room through the portrait entrance.

It was at this moment that Harry realised that he was well and truly alone.