They Left Him to Live

AN: I had originally had this in two different stories, but decided to merge it into one. I hope you like it!


Part Two: A Reason to Live

~*~*~*~*~

"Draco, you don't have to do this!"

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't! You know what He's capable of! If you go to Him now, it ... it could very well cost you your life!"

"I don't care! I'm not going to risk losing her!"

"I know that, Draco, but this is madness! Even I wouldn't ..."

"Don't you dare get self-righteous with me, Harry fucking Potter! You and I both know that you would do ANYTHING to save one of your friends!"

"Yes, but ... but ... Draco, at least wait until we know for sure that she is even in danger, and then we can ..."

"NO! I won't take that chance!"

"But what if He makes you ..."

"Harry, stop it! Stop it right now!” *sighs* “Harry, don't you understand? I have to do this. I have to."

"... I know, it's just ..."

"Harry. Harry. Look at me, Harry."

"I-I know it’s your mum and all, but … I just don't want to lose you, Draco."

*sighs* “I know.”

"I swear, if He hurts you, I'll ..."

"Oh, shut up, you stupid Gryffindor, and come here."

~*~*~*~*~

Harry Potter snapped open his eyes and caught his gasp before it left his throat. He shifted slightly in his chair as he silently watched the way the top of the thin sheet rose and fell gracefully. Draco was asleep. That much he could tell. The pale face was calm and peaceful save for the occasional crease between the blond's brows. Harry idly wondered if it was from a nightmare or if Draco was still in pain.

Pain…

Harry knew all about pain. And nightmares.

~*~*~*~*~

"Malfoy! MALFOY!"

"Mr Malfoy, don't you dare stop! We have to keep going!"

"But Professor Snape..."

"No!"

"Get back here, you fucking coward! Get back here and face me!"

"Mr Malfoy! We don't have time for this!"

"Professor, I need to explain why..."

"No! He doesn't deserve an explanation!"

"I'll find you, Malfoy! No matter how long it takes! I will find you!"

"Let's go, Draco!"

"And when I do, I'll kill you! Do you hear me, Malfoy? I will fucking KILL you!"

~*~*~*~*~

Draco Malfoy gasped and his body sprang to life. He perched himself on his arms and his muscles ached as they held him up. Slowly, he lowered himself back to the bed and cradled his head in his folded arms. He closed his eyes, and fought the tears that were threatening to escape.

Of all the nightmares Draco had experienced over the past three months, that particular one destroyed him the most. He only thanked Merlin that that memory has been secretly locked away in his mind so Voldemort and his father hadn’t ever been able to use it against him.

The pain, he could handle. The way his mind and his body had been raped over and over again - that he could handle. But that memory ... That one memory ...

Draco held his breath, and - not for the first time - tried to let it go. Suddenly, his head snapped up.

He had heard something.

"Who's there?"

Silence.

"Who's there? Show yourself!"

Silence.

Draco sat up, and the sheet slid down his back. The sound of a gasp was heard.

"Potter," he hissed. "I know it's you. Show yourself, you coward."

Harry winced. He stood up slowly, and his invisibility cloak fell silently to the floor.

"What do you want, Potter?"

Harry opened his mouth, but no words escaped. He could only stare at Draco's scarred back.

"Well?" Draco asked impatiently. "Why are you here? To spout more hateful things at me?"

"No. No, I ..."

Draco looked away. "Get out."

"Malfoy, I ..."

Draco jumped to his feet, forgetting his pain and forgetting the fact that he was naked.

"GET OUT!"

Harry gasped again, and his eyes bulged out of their sockets when he looked down at Draco's groin. Draco's own eyes widened in return, and then glanced down at himself. He quickly grabbed the sheet, covering his partially mutilated area with one shaky hand.

"Get out! Get out! Get OUT!" Draco screamed at the top of his lungs.

Harry, whose mouth was still open, nodded and backed away – his eyes never leaving Draco's crotch. Draco took a step towards him.

"Are you fucking deaf, Potter? Get. Oooout!" he howled.

Harry stumbled backwards, knocking the chair over as he did. His eyes were dilated and still locked on Draco's groin. Harry's back hit the cold cell bars, and he blindly reached behind him. Harry found the door handle, and fell into the corridor. He scrambled to his feet, and ran down the hall as fast his legs could carry him.

It wasn't until Draco could no longer hear Harry's thundering footsteps that he allowed himself to breathe. He quickly released the sheets and tried to shake the pain away from his hand. Draco finally collapsed to the ground, hitting his elbow on the bed's metal frame. He lowered his head and let the tears fall.

~*~*~*~*~

“And do you honestly think he’ll take you back now that you're a cripple and … useless?”

~*~*~*~*~

Harry slid down the wall and braced himself on his arm to keep from falling face first on the floor. A slight acidy taste in his mouth was the only warning he had before vomiting. He took several deep breaths, and ignored the foul smell that had once been his lunch. He stared longingly at it as if it had all the answers. Suddenly, Harry blinked as a shadow fell over it, and he looked up.

Severus Snape stood looming over him, sneering just as he always had done back at Hogwarts. The older man glanced at his excretions then back at him.

“Pathetic,” growled Snape. He turned abruptly on his heels, and walked in the direction of Draco's cell.

Harry watched him go then lowered his head.

“Pathetic,” Harry echoed, slowly nodding in agreement.

~*~*~*~*~

Snape stood silently at Draco's cell door, observing the way the young man was hunched over. His thin shoulders quivered as he sat on the edge of the small bed. Snape took a long deep breath, and closed his eyes briefly before entering. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a blue phial. He cleared his throat.

“Drink this,” he said quietly.

Draco reached out blindly for it, but then gasped as soon as his fingers touched the cool glass. The phial made a loud clanking noise when it hit the stone floor.

Snape mentally cursed himself. How could he have been so foolish?

~*~*~*~*~

“Tie his wrists down, Lucius.”

“Yes, My Lord.”

“Now, Draco. This shall be a reminder to you of the next time you try to draw your wand against your father.”

“My Lord, I’m terribly sorry. I should have tied his body down as well.”

“No, it’s quite all right, Lucius. This is … very entertaining.”

~*~*~*~*~

Snape knelt down and retrieved the container. He uncorked it, held Draco's face steady with one hand, and gently lifted the phial to his lips with the other.

“I’m sorry, Draco. I … I forgot myself.”

Draco nodded into Snape's palm, and blinked back his tears. The first punishment Voldemort had bestowed upon Draco was a curse to his hands. Anything Draco touched – especially a wand – would cause him severe pain.

“This is a potion that will help with the…” Snape paused a moment, taking the time to swallow. “...internal organs.”

Draco closed his eyes, nodded, and parted his lips. He winced as the bitter liquid ran down his throat.

“It might be as many as five more treatments before we can see any … results.”

“I … understand. Thank you, sir,” Draco said weakly, finally meeting his eyes.

Snape barely smiled – something he rarely did – and then stood.

“Tomorrow I shall bring over the other potion we talked about.”

Draco jumped to his feet. “NO!”

Snape caught himself before flinching at the sight of the fully naked boy. Draco blushed fiercely whilst Snape casually reached for Draco's trousers, and handed them over to him. Snape turned his back to the boy to give him some privacy.

“Draco,” he slowly began. “We need to flush this poison out of your system.”

~*~*~*~*~

“No!”

“Shut up and open your mouth!”

“NO! Just get on with it and kill me already!”

“Oh no, lovely child. You will stay alive. In pain, perhaps, but alive nevertheless.”

“You heard the Dark Lord, boy. Now drink!”

~*~*~*~*~

“I said NO!”

Snape spun back around.

“Don’t be idiotic, Draco!”

“No,” Draco repeated, his voice lowering considerably. He had to remind himself to whom he was talking. It wasn’t them.

Snape sighed. “Draco,” he calmly started. “If we don’t, the pain will slowly kill you. You realise this, don’t you?” Draco said nothing, but tightened his jaw. “The potion they kept giving you was the only thing that kept you alive. Without it ...” he stopped, words fading. He took a breath to gain back his composure, and then continued. “Draco, we need to find a way to reverse it.”

Draco frowned and looked away. Finally, he shook his head.

“Damn it, Draco! Is that what you really want? A slow and painful death?”

The boy glanced over at him, and barely shrugged.

“Well, I will not allow it!” Snape spat.

Snape began to pace, counting to ten in an effort to calm himself down. He stopped and rubbed his hands over his face. He exhaled slowly then turned back to Draco. He wondered why Draco allowed himself to be healed yet did nothing to stop his own inevitable death. As Snape gazed into his sad grey eyes, he found the answer.

“Draco. He shouldn't be your only reason to live.”

The words stung Draco and he knew it. He approached the timid boy carefully, and cupped his face.

“There are others who love you.”

A lone tear ran down Draco's cheek.

~*~*~*~*~

Harry slumped back against the wall and closed his eyes. He heard the approaching footsteps and knew without looking up who it was. When they had stopped in front of him, he opened eyes, and stared at his own vomit. Harry gasped when it disappeared. He glanced up at the older wizard, not caring that his face was red and puffy from his recent tears.

Snape scowled at him, causing Harry to look back down at the now-clean floor.

“How dare you,” Snape growled.

Harry grimaced, but still said nothing.

“How dare you cry for him now. You don’t deserve him and you never will.”

With a loud, hateful scoff, Snape stormed away.

“Who betrayed whom, Potter?” he sneered.

Harry sat there mesmerised as Snape's words continuously echoed in his head.

~*~*~*~*~

"You will stand trial for your betrayal."

“My betrayal of you, you mean.”

~*~*~*~*~

Suddenly, Harry jumped to his feet. He knew what he had to do now.

He had to set things right.

~*~*~*~*~

“Splendid, Lucius. You didn’t even break the skin.”

“Thank you, My Lord.”

“Father … *gasp* … I hope I’m there when he … when he kills you...”

“Crucio!”

“Remember, Lucius. We want him broken, not insane.”

“Yes, My Lord.”

~*~*~*~*~

Draco sprang up immediately, clutching his right leg. He held onto it tightly for several minutes before realising it was now healed. He slowly released it, and blew out a breath of relief. He collapsed back down on the bed. It was only a dream.

Well, a nightmare to be exact.

As Draco quietly lay back, he stared up at the plain white ceiling. White. Everything in the room was white. When he had first been admitted to St Mungo’s two months ago, he welcomed it. It was a drastic change from the dark and damp cell he had been condemned to for three months. Three long months. But now he felt exactly how this room looked. Cold. Empty. And...

Alone.

No one came to visit Draco save Snape, but even then it was only to administer a new batch of potions he was required to take. He was sure Snape believed it to be an actual visit, but he never stayed long. There was only one other person who continuously requested to see him. To talk to him.

But Draco always refused.

Draco unconsciously rubbed his stomach, and closed his eyes. His internal organs had finally healed, although the rectal tissues still had scars. The specialists had managed to join together the two pieces of his right ear, but the eardrum was shattered. They had sealed it, however, tight enough to prevent any future infections. His right eye, unfortunately, could not be saved.

Tired of feeling sorry for himself, Draco decided that it was time to sit up. Forgetting himself, he sat up too quickly, and he instinctively grabbed his groin to alleviate the pain. Draco sighed as he removed his hands. There was no pain, of course, but some habits were just too hard to break. He winced, remembering the worst and most agonising operation he had had to endure.

Or rather opera-tions.

There had been a total of five operations done so far to Draco's privates. The first two successfully re-attached his left testicle, but, unfortunately, the right one could not be saved. It had suffered the full impact.

As for his penis ...

Draco suddenly covered his eyes, trying hard to forget. Trying hard to erase the memory of what had happened to it. He dropped to the bed, curling his arms around his body in an effort to make himself disappear. To make the nightmare disappear.

The healers at St Mungo’s had assured him it would fully recover.

In time.

‘In time,’ Draco thought bitterly, then he repeated that line over and over again aloud.

But no matter how many times they had said it, Draco never once believed it. He had already convinced himself long ago that it would never be healed properly. Never be fully functional. Never.

He wondered why they even tried.

He also wondered why he even wanted them to.

~*~*~*~*~

"Potter, stop! What are you doing?"

"Shh. Keep your voice down."

"We're going to get caught!"

"Honestly, Malfoy. Where's you sense of adventure?"

"I leave that foolishness up to yo-OOU!"

"Told you you'd like it."

"Watch the teeth!"

"But you’ll like it."

"No, I ... Sweet Merlin!"

"Told you."

~*~*~*~*~