All the way IIII: Change

Hermione went to Hogwarts as soon as Severus left for Australia. The dungeons seemed big without him and Hermione wasn't sure she liked it. Still, it was only for two weeks.

She had just finished unpacking, when there was a knock on the door. Hermione answered it quickly.

Minerva was beaming. Beside her was a man with brown hair and dark blue eyes. He was very tall and thin, with a boyish grin, but his age was shown by the lines around the corners of his lips and eyes. He seemed to be about Hermiones age, perhaps a few years older.

Minerva reached forwards and hugged Hermione, "It's lovely to see you, dear. Severus stopped by to tell me about everything. I'm glad I don't have to go replacement hunting. Anyway, talking of replacements, you know Filius retired last year and here is the new Charms Professor."

She stood back and the man stepped forwards, holding out his hand, "Gary," He introduced himself, still grinning, "Gary Swan." Hermione shook his hand and introduced herself. He brought her hand to his lips, "It's lovely to meet you Hermione. Minerva's told me so much about you."

Hermione laughed, "Whatever she's said, it isn't true."

"Ah," he smirked, "Only time will tell."

"Come on," Minerva said, taking his arm, "Let's go and meet Remus Lupin. I think his wife, Nymphadora, is here with him this morning. But don't call her that! She'll off rip your..."

Hermione closed the door as the old witch pulled the man away. He seemed nice and Hermione thought it might be good to have some one new to talk to, although she would miss Filius and his squeaky little ways.

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Eileen heard the door open. She got up and switched the TV off. Sam entered the room, dumping some files on a small table. His tie was hanging around his shoulders and Eileen could smell her on him. Whoever she was.

"Sam..." She started, "We need to -"

"Talk?" he sighed, "Eileen, there's nothing to talk about. You won't touch me - for whatever ridiculous reason - so I have to go get some else where."

"I know, Sam, and I’m sorry, but you don't understand!" Eileen moaned, "It's hard -"

"It's hard for me, Eileen!" He shouted, throwing off his jacket, "I'm sick to death of your excuses! I've got a head ache... I’m tired... What's it gonna be next? SORRY SAM, I CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH YOU, I'VE BEEN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS?"

Eileen flinched and backed away until she hit a chair, "I... I -"

Sam cut through her angrily, "Is it me? Am I the problem?"

"No..."

"So you're the problem..." he nodded and turned away from her, "I knew it... Everything has to be about you! I have to pay people to sleep with me because YOU won't! How d'you think that makes me feel?"

Eileen started to walk to the door, "I'm going out -"

Sam grabbed her arm, "No you're not! I'm not finished yet!"

Panicking, Eileen leaned down and bit the hand that was curled around her arm. Sam yelled and let go, as Eileen ran down the hall. She pulled open the door and froze.

A man stood before her. As she was blessed with her mothers height - or lack there of - Eileen had to actually move her head to look up.

"Eileen?" The man said, looking surprised.

Eileen shook her head, "I... I'm sorry, should I know you?" The mans brown eyes changed to black, then to grey, and then back to brown. "Sirius?"

The man smiled and Eileen threw herself forwards. Sirius wrapped his arms around her, "Hey, what's up?"

Eileen pulled back, "Later. Let's just get out of here."

She shut the door behind her and they headed towards the stairs that led to the exit of the block of flats.

They found a quiet cafe and bought some coffee. Sirius paid at the counter and they sat down at a table by the window.

"Every one thinks you're out of the country." Sirius told her.

Eileen put some sugar in her drink, "I know. Well, I couldn't exactly tell them I’ve been living as a muggle for nearly ten years, could I?"

"I heard that man shouting," He said, glancing up at her, "That's why I didn't knock straight away." Eileen nodded. "Who is he?"

She shrugged and stirred her coffee, "I don't know any more, to be honest. We dated for a couple of months, but then I moved in and... Well, it's just convenience now; a place for me to live."

"He sounded pretty angry." Sirius pressed, "What were you arguing over?"

Eileen stilled for a moment, and then carried on stirring, "It doesn't matter. It's a long story."

"I'm not going any where." He prompted.

Eileen didn't want to explain everything. She hadn't told any one... but she was tired of fighting.

She sighed, "You know in our third year?"

"You mean that year? Yeah, go on..." he nodded.

"We stayed in Spain for christmas," Eileen carried on stirring as he nodded again, "I met a boy on the beach, Sam. That's the bloke I was arguing with."

"Oh, right." Sirius nodded again.

"The reason we fight is because I won't have sex with him." She explained bluntly.

"Why?" He asked.

"Well, when I was with Julian Wilkes and his mother..." Eileen took a deep breath but no words came out.

"I knew it!" Sirius hissed, "He raped you, didn't he!"

Eileen looked up from her cup sharply and shook her head, "No! No! ... well, he nearly did..." She looked down again, "But saying it like that makes it sound so serious."

"It is serious, Eileen! It's attempted rape!"

"Yeah, well, anyway, I had sex with Sam once and I can honestly say I am never doing it again. I mean, I know a girls first time is meant to be uncomfortable, but..." She smiled humorlessly leaving her sentence hanging, still stirring the coffee absentmindedly, "So he has affairs, but still he pressures me. And today, I find out he's seeing one of the whores down the road. And even after all that, he still wants to sleep with me! I don't see why he can't leave me alone!"

They sat in silence. Eileen carried on stirring her coffee, until her hand ached. She shook back the baggy sleeve of t-shirt, getting it out of the way, and was about to pick up her cup when Sirius caught her wrist.

"Why are you so thin?"

Eileen tried to jerk her wrist away, startled, "I'm not!"

Sirius held tighter, "Yes you are, Eileen! You're tiny! Look!"

Eileen looked down. Sirius' thumb overlapped his finger when they curled around her entire wrist. She couldn't understand it. She hadn't lost weight, had she?

She looked up at Sirius, "I didn't realize... how...? I don't diet. How did this happen?"

Sirius moved his hand from her wrist and entwined his fingers with hers, "You haven't been looking after yourself. You should have told you mum and dad about what happened at the time."

Eileen blinked hard, "I know. But I was thirteen! I was a child and I was scared! And being a child I thought..." She took a deep, shuddering breath, "I thought if I ignored the fact that I was scared of men, then it would go away."

They sat in a silence that Eileen found uncomfortable. She could feel Sirius' eyes on her and his thumb running across the back of her hand. Strangely, Eileen found she wasn't scared. Then again, she had known Sirius since she was a baby, so it must be normal for her to feel safe with him, right?

Finally she was unbearably uncomfortable, "I thought telling people your problems was meant to make you feel better."

"You don't feel better?" He asked quietly.

Eileen shook her head, smiling a smile that didn't reach her black eyes, "I feel like an idiot for making this so much bigger than it is."

"You're not an idiot for being scared." Sirius told her, "And it is so much bigger than you're making it out to be."

"I just don't know what to do." She admitted, "I have no where to live - and before you even say it, I won't go back to mum and dad or scrounge off Lucius and Annie - I have no job and I’m scared of every damn man with in a hundred mile radius! I give up... I just exist because I’m too scared to live."

Sirius pulled her up and they left the cafe. As they walked through the town, Sirius put his arm around her and Eileen moved closer, feeling emotionally exhausted and numb.