Payback's a Bitch

Disclaimer: I'm not knighted; therefore, I own nothing.

Chapter 1 - Walking Away

She heard off in the distance that asshole Potter calling her name. She didn't care. Her legs were carrying her somewhere she had no control over. She was to busy fuming.

"Asshole. Complete fucking fuckhead asshole. Toe rag! Jerk. Complete and utter WANKER!!" she mumbled to herself.

"LILYYYY!!! Wait up!"

Stopping and turning around at the sound of Becca's voice. Letting go the last sigh of frustration that infiltrated her body, she realized that she was standing the middle of the Quidditch Pitch.

"Becca, what is it with that boy? He is a complete prat and yet, when he pulls his pranks I can't help but find them funny. I almost laughed when he turned Snape upside down. I had to control it, could you imagine how it would have looked if I started to laugh at the person who I was trying to defend?!"

"Listen, Lil. Potter is a prat. We all know this, but you've been butting heads with him since first year. Don't you think you could just leave him alone? It would take a miracle to make him change."

Lily looked up at her best friend, Rebbecca Watson, and in the distance she could see the other third of the famous Hogwarts trio, Sarah Martin. Sarah was the Quidditch player out of the three of them, now that's not saying that Becca and Lily didn't like Quidditch, they just were never any good at it. Sarah was obviously very pretty with deep hazel eyes with a sparkle of green that danced around when she was emotional. Mommy Martin, as Lily called her, was the Mother Goose of the famous group, always there to lend an ear to the girls when they needed advice.

Becca on the other hand was the ditz, but oh she was smart. Common sense was definitely not her strong point. She excelled in all of her classes and barely had to study. You would most likely find her in the corner of the Gryffindor Common Room reading a new book. Becca with her dark brown eyes, was definitely the prude of the group; with Lily and Sarah always sharing perverted and silly jokes, poor Becca never understood them and always had to ask what they meant.

"Ya know, Becca, you are a genius!" Lily exclaimed.

"I am?"

"Yes! You are."

"What did she do this time?" Sarah said finally catching up to Lily and Becca.

"Becca Watson just said that it would take a miracle to change James Potter."

"Yeah, I did. What's your point, it's the truth?"

"Girls, I think it's about time we make a miracle happen." Lily said to her two best and most loyal friends.

o - o

"You want to do what?!" said Sarah, utterly taken aback by what Lily had just explained.

"I am going to give James Potter a taste of his own medicine, I am going to pull the biggest prank that Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, has ever seen: I am going to date James Potter."

"She," Becca said while turning to Sarah and pointing at Lily, "has lost it. She's completely insane. Are we sure she isn't on drugs?"

"Oh, Becca, I'm not on drugs. Don't you see, it's the perfect plan. I seduce Potter, make him fall in love with me, and then drop him like the bad habit that he is. He'll be crushed, and he won't act like he owns the school anymore. It'll be perfect. I'm doing it, and you girls can be with me or against me. But, I'd much rather it if you were with me."

"I'm with you," Sarah said, "But I have a feeling it isn't going to work out like you said it will."

"Lily, I love you, and you know I'll always be there for you, but I'm with Sarah, nothing good can come from this. But you are my best friend and I'm with you. Hey maybe it will work out according to plan and finally Potter will understand that he isn't the hot shot that he thought he was."

"Good, I'm glad you're both with me. I love you two so much. Thanks." Lily said hugging them both. "So, let's get started with the Crushing-Potter Plan." And with that the three girls started talking about all the things that Lily could do to try to seduce, the one and only, James Edward Potter.

o - o

"Moony, you're good with reading and understanding girls. What am I doing wrong?"

"Prongs, you're a prat. You will always be a prat. There is nothing you can do to change your raptness. Lily isn't like a regular girl. She wants a guy who she can spend the day with and not have to worry about ending up in that guys bed at the end of the day. She wants a guy who she can relate to, who can be there for her when she needs him and most of all one that can make her laugh and someone who has a lot in common with her so there won't be any awkward pauses in conversation. She is the type of girl that wants to just have a good time with someone that she likes to be with."

"So what are you saying?" James asked.

"I'm saying that Lily Evans will never go for you. You are not her type; you will never be her type. There is no hope for you Prongs. I'm sorry man. I think it's time you moved on. The only way that there is any chance in you dating Lily is if you two become friends. And you, James Potter will never be able to do that. So just try to forget about her."

"Moony's right Prongs. Lily just isn't attracted to the whole prank and make out with tons of girls thing that you do." Padfoot explained.

"But its Lily and I really like her. I don't want to give up on her. I really like her. This isn't just some notch in the bed post thing. I really truly want to be with Lily Evans because she, well, she's perfect."

"We know that already, but you've tried everything to get with her. Nothing is going to work. You tried standing on the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall and screaming to the whole school that you liked her, you tried flying above our Care of Magical Creatures class on your broom with a poster connected to you which read how much you liked her. What else are you going to do?" Moony asked.

"Boys, I'm going to do the impossible."

"Which is?" Sirius asked.

"Oh I can only imagine, Padfoot." Remus mused.

"I'm going to become Lily Marie Evans' good friend." James said proudly. He then walked off towards the school leaving his two best friends in his wake.

"Why do I have a sneaky suspicion that this is not going to turn out well, Padfoot?" Remus said.

"Because it's not. Just like every other one of James' plans to get Lily. This is going to be a loooong road and he's going to be crushed when it doesn't happen according to his plan."

"Yup. Well, that's why we're here, isn't it? To give support when he needs it the most. Well Padfoot, you better get your thinking cap on, we have a lot of work ahead of us if we want this to really happen for James." And with that the two men and sighed and walked off to the castle in search of their best friend, in the hopes that this Capturing-Lily-Evans'-Heart plan would actually work.

o - o