My Life For You

A/N I would like to thank all the people who reviewed, and also my Beta, you do a super job with my many many errors, and also the anon person who pointed out my very funny typo in the summery, which I have now fixed.

I would also to clear something up. Last chapter in my authors Notes I wrote that Harry would be based off Ville Valo of HIM. In no way will he actually Become Ville Valo, He’s still Harry. But in the way several writes base there main characters of someone else. For example Anne Rice based her most Famous character Lestat off of her Husband. I mostly started this who Harry off of Ville because of a few of his Tattoos, The S on his Nipple that is not a Heartagram, And Edger Allen Poe’s eyes on his back. So I hope that cleared up any confusion some of you might have had. If it will go further then that I don’t know, Perhaps I will make Harry a rock star, what do you think?

Thank you for coming back to read the second chapter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CH 2: The Darkness of Pure Souls.

Severus killed down his feelings of hopelessness the moment it tried to take hold. He watched silently as Potter gracefully navigated the other people and tables in the pub to get to his destination, which Severus couldn’t believe was the same table where Jasper Huff and the man Lucius had pointed out earlier were chatting happily.

Now this turn of events really gave Severus the run around, he couldn’t understand how Potter could willingly hold company with a Death Eater, Huff’s Mark was in plain view for all to see, Potter included.

Severus sat and watched Potter give Huff a large, wolfish grin and then embrace him, Huff whispered something into Potters ear, and it only caused Potter to grin more, this time with hints of something dangerous. Severus quickly and silently cast a spell so he could hear their conversation in his head.

Potter grinned again, “No way Huff, my ribs are still all fucked from Friday. As much as I love jumping into danger, I just cant this time, any way more important I found what I was looking for” Potters grin twisted into something dark and murderous. Severus’ eyes actually boggled, for a moment. He knew then with out a doubt that this was not the same Golden Boy he had despised, this person in front of him, was a man, but not just that there was darkness in his heart.

Severus had no doubt that the darkness had came about from his brief battle with Potter, as he tried to take revenge for the murder of Albus, plus every thing Potter had found out about Severus’ hand in the death of Potters parents. Potter hated him, that much was clear, * and why shouldn’t he Severus? You took his family away*.

Severus realized Draco was speaking to him, “ It’s amazing how much he has changed, no glasses, new clothes, new style, and Potter must have had a growth spurt, or he took a bunch of nutrient potions to get that height” Draco snorted then continued “ his hair is still awful”. Severus sneered in spite of the current situation.

As Draco continued to jaw away, Severus put his attention back on Potter. Potter had taken a seat next to Huff, with an empty seat to his left. Where potter sat, he had a diagonal view to Severus. “What you want to drink Harry?”, the dandy, as Lucius had put it, with a thick Irish accent, not fitting his body, asked as he got up from the table.

“You trying to get me pissed, Mason?” Potter asked with a small smile.

“Like you’re not already, you spent all day with Charlie, and the only thing you do together is drink, I’m just surprised Charlie’s not here with you now” Mason said smugly.

“He’s on his way, and we don’t just drink, we do other stuff” Potter answered.

“Like what?” Mason shot back with a laugh, the other men at the table were laughing too.

“Just a glass of red will do, thanks Mason” Potter replied rather sulkily.

Loud laughter erupted from Potters friends. “What did I tell you about class Draco, I can’t think of a better example to show you, a half- blood, Muggles, and a traitorous Death Eater”. Lucius said with a sneer. Severus was afraid Lucius would reach that conclusion about Huff.

Severus knew he was required to comment, his role as a spy depended on it. “We can do two things: grab him when we grab Potter, or leave him and report him to the Dark Lord and allow him to carry forth his punishment as he sees fit, I already know my decision, what is yours Lucius?”. Severus asked in a polite enough tone for Lucius not to comment, but to actually think it over.

Severus waited, as Lucius seriously looked over both Potter and Huff “we’ll only be snatching Potter this evening Severus, do you agree?” Lucius asked snidely, Severus knew it didn’t matter what he said, they were going with Lucius’ decision.

“ I agree completely, Lucius”, Severus sneered, he knew Lucius would never risk embarrassment, in front of his son or other Death Eaters, the chance that Potter, or Huff could escape, or get one over on him, was far to great a risk.

Potter drank his wine silently for a moment, he looked to be deep in thought, something Severus silently laughed at. After all, Severus still despised Potter completely, just because he did not wish him dead, in no way meant he wished him good health. “What are you going to do with it Potter?” Huff asked out of the blue, potter only started at him for a moment, then shook out of his fog.

“Get rid of it when the time comes, but right now, its safe in my pocket, tomorrow every thing is going to be different and a hell of a lot harder, no worries for the time being, drink up, be cheerful” Potter turned to the rest of his friends “double for you lucky blokes” Potter raised his glass in salute, the others did the same.

“ Wasn’t that sweet?” Severus heard his own voice say, as often when Severus had these type of missions or at other Death Eater gatherings, most times Severus’ conversation was on auto pilot. * At least noting I say about Potter will compromise my position* Severus heard Lucius chuckle to him self “you’re listening to their conversation as well Lucius?” Severus asked.

“I simply could not stop my self, surely I would be a fool to miss such a heartfelt, witty conversation” Lucius answered in is smooth voice.

Severus granted himself a smirk and an almost chuckle, sometimes Lucius would remind Severus why they had become such good friends, when they were younger.

“His voice is deeper” Draco said for no known reason.

“What?” Severus spit out.

“ Potters voice, its much deeper then before, its just surprised me considering how girlish his voice was in school, and considering how he looks; you wouldn’t expect him to sound like you Severus” Draco explained.

“Potter doesn’t sound anything like me” Severus hissed.

Draco said nothing in return.

Severus tuned back into Potter’s conversation, he listened to the pitch not the words. * Draco was correct, his voice does sound like mine, just lighter, not so….* Severus struggled for a word to describe the difference to himself. * He doesn’t sound so… dead. But he still does have remnants of the feminine voice Draco mentioned. At least potters voice matches his features; Just as male as female.*

Again Severus was struck with how odd the boy was, he wondered if Potter really had been drinking all the day away with this Charlie fellow, Severus hoped it was Charlie Weasley, but he really didn’t think his good luck would reach that far. If it were Charlie Weasley then he knew Lucius would not make a move on Potter, too many chances of it not going in his favor.

Severus watched Potter shrug off his jacket; the plain black t- shirt Potter had been wearing, had the sleeves cut off to form a type of tank top. Severus wasn’t surprised to see that Potters arms were sculpted, not muscular at all, but perfectly toned. Also the skin of Potters arms were just as white as potters hip, save for the many shades of bruising that consumed most of the left upper arm.

Severus waited for one of Potters friends to comment, and only had to wait a minute. The man that had came in with Huff spoke up, “ You see there Mason, that’s what else Charlie and Potter do together, they jump into what ever stupid, dangerous shit they can find and who ever has the most broken bones and bruising doesn’t have to pay for drinks”, this man was English, he spoke in a studious voice.

“Ha Ha Ha Emery, you’re so funny, but I will have you know that bones don’t actually count” Potter finished with a sneer, that could be Severus twin.
“Why don’t they count?” Asked Mason

Potter frowned in a way that made it look like he was smiling “cuz then, we’re down to long, and Charlie’s bones break way easier then mine do. Like take Friday, I came away with bruised ribs and a dislocated shoulder, Charlie broke his wrist and two fingers on his left hand. And I don’t even know how he did that, considering he landed on his arse.” Potter ended with a laugh, as did the others.

Potter got up and walked over to the bartender and got a bottle of Guinness. Potter was interrupted before he could sit down, “let’s see your ribs Harry, from what Charlie told us, that you could actually see the out line of that guys foot” Emery said excitedly.

Potter growled low in his throat; right away Severus was reminded of that mutt, Black, and the werewolf. Potter seeing his friends were not going to budge, put his beer down and lifted his shirt to just under his nipples. Severs studied Potters chest, Severus thought he saw the beginning of a tattoo just under Potters left nipple. Potters ribs were black and blue, with the start of purple and yellow. Severus thought he could make out a foot shape, along Potters right side. It looked like he had been in a nasty fight.


Suddenly Severus was struck with the thought, that had he and Potter been on better terms then Severus could be one of those men having a good look at Potters ribs, one of those men that potter grinned at and told to fuck off, which he had just done.

Severus thought back to his days as a student, how he had craved friends, craved the camaraderie of the Marauders, craved it so much he joined the Death Eaters with the promise that he would have power and friends for life. * Oh Severus how you were mislead*, Severus thought that if he could change anything, he would have begged the Sorting Hat not to put him into Slytherin.*


Severus knew much of his loathing for Potter was how people flocked to him, even now others in the pub were drawn to him, they turned to look at him, and they would giggle with their girl friends, or blush away from their significant others. Severus wondered what type of uproar they would cause if they knew Potter was famous.

Potter sat and drank his beer, when he was finished a waitress bought him and his friends another round. Severus had honestly expected Potter to be a light weight when it came to alcohol, but Severus watched for twenty minutes as potter took drink after drink, of what ever was put in front of him, only once did he grimace, and it was from a shot of the same bad whiskey Severus was choking down.

Potter looked at his watch with concern, “Charlie should be here by now, it’s ten past eleven”. Mason took what Severus recognized to be a cellular phone out of his pocket and handed it to Potter.

“Thanks Mas”.

Potter dialed and waited, apparently this Charlie fellow picked up “where are you, oh God, you’re not still in bed?” Potter asked amused. Severus couldn’t hear the other person respond, but Potter started to laugh; it was a throaty chuckle that Severus found secretly appealing.

Potter hung up the cellular phone and slid it across the table to Mason, “he got lost, and I will be right back.” Potter explained as he stood up, Severus expected him to sway or stumble but Potter’s legs were sure and they carried him towered the pub’s front door.

“With the amount of alcohol Potter is consuming, he is bound to have to use the Restroom, I will wait there for him, Draco you wait for him outside, Severus, you stay here and keep watch”. Lucius ordered.

“Lucius, I think it best if I am the one in the Restroom, or waiting for him out side, Draco is young, and can act rashly…” Severus tried to explain, but Lucius cut him off.

“ Severus if I were you, I would be thanking what ever power that kept you alive, The Dark Lord, as pleased as he was for Dumbledore to be dead, was furious that you did not finish Potter when you had the chance, you let him get away once, lets make sure that doesn’t happen again”. Lucius spoke in such a low, deadly voice Severus had to strain to hear.

Lucius got up, “Draco, wait till I have been in the Restrooms for awhile, and after Potter gets back, we wouldn’t want his friends getting in the way.” Lucius ordered again.

“Yes Father” Draco answered obediently.

Secretly Severus couldn’t have been happier with the plan, it took care of most of his problems, if Potter got up to go to the Restroom, he would stop him with what ever reason, and the same if he went to leave. That only really left him with the Issue of being found out by Potter and both Malfoy’s. * It will have to do, Severus, you swore to protect Potter on pain of death.*.

Six minutes passed silently between Draco and Severus, until finally Potter came back. Potter walked in with his arm around a black haired man of short stature, who was notably intoxicated, * definitely not a Weasley*, Charlie clung to Potter almost as a lover would. Severus entertained the notion that perhaps they were lovers. * Never Severus, Potter would never do anything to displease his adoring crowd, Potter has been a wizard long enough to know homosexual relationship are largely frowned on.*

Severus was right, of course, because there were far, far less Magic folk compared to Muggles, it was thought as a sin and nearly a crime to not marry then reproduce, and for the wizards and witches that did bond with their own sex, each and every time that paring was between two dark witches or wizards. If your average witch or wizard decided to bond, or was even rumored to be involved in a homosexual relationship they would be caste out, shunned, the only people who would welcome them would be the dark ones. For those reasons Severus was sure that Potter could not possibly be that mans lover, for Harry Potter was the poster boy for goodness and light * even if he does have a little darkness in his soul.* Severus reminded him self.

Draco left the pub silently, leaving just Severus with the duty of watching Potter. Which, if Severus was honest with him self, was never a duty. When Severus was still a Professor, and Potter his student, Severus would often find him self going out of his way to watch Potter, either from the shadows of the Castle, when Potter was on the grounds, or at his desk, or the Head Table. It was just something Severus always did.

Severus figured that it was guilt, because Severus had never really given James or Lilly the time of day, he spent more time trying to ovoid them, but from day one Severus felt his cold, black eyes drawn to Potter, * It is guilt, I am the reason his parents are dead, I told The Dark Lord of the prophecy *, but if Severus was being brutally honest, he knew had Neville Longbottom been the one the Dark Lord went after, he wouldn’t have given him the time of day. It was just Harry.

Severus watched Potter take out a black Cigarette case, with a strange symbol on its cover, from his pocket. Potter put one of the cigarettes, which were completely black in color, except for a tiny red heart in the middle, between his full, almost pouting lips. Potter quickly lit the cigarette with the candle on the table.

Severus watched Potter smoke, and thought about his long dead Uncle. Severus’ Uncle had caught him smoking one of his Mother’s cigarettes when he was ten, just trying it out, Severus thought it was more than disgusting. His Uncle had yelled at him, told him ‘only men who liked to suck cock, smoked’. Severus remembered saying that his Mother smoked, his Uncle had laughed good naturedly and patted Severus dirty hair. Besides his Uncle’s harsh tongue and homophobia he was a good man. As were the rest of Severus family *I’m the black sheep*.

Severus never smoked again, in later years he thought about it again, when he was more comfortable with his preference in partners. To say Severus was gay, would be wrong, he wasn’t, but he wasn’t exactly straight either, Severus had always been attracted to people for what they were, sexual attraction came after. Even if Severus had found the occasional male attractive, he hadn’t actually ever been with a man, or even dated, kissed, or anything like that.


So Severus watched Potter smoke his black cigarette, with the red heart, and felt had he been a better man, and several years younger, and handsomer, he would very much want to have potter lips around his cock, rather than that cigarette. Oh yes, Severus, wished things were different, not just with him, but with the magic would as well. Severus never understood how they could give the cold shoulder to people just trying to be happy, when wizards lived in fear of Muggles finding out about magic and coming with torches to burn them. *Hypocrites*, Severus snorted with disgust.

Potter continued to drink, smoke and be merry, as Severus sat and became bitterer. Severus would always hate Potter for having what Severus always craved.

Severus started when Draco sat back down, and Potter stood up and started to go to the Restroom. “I’m not staying out there while it’s raining” Draco said as explanation when Severus gave him a murderous look.

Severus knew it didn’t matter if he died, it was only Potter that mattered, and Severus hated Potter more for it. Severus took one step in Potters direction, but it was too late, the Restroom door was swinging shut behind him. “What the Hell are you doing Snape? Sit down” Draco said, rather panicked, and excited at the same time. And Severus did, he sat down heavily in his chair and waited for The Dark Mark to burn, he waited for the end of his hope for freedom.

When two Minutes had passed with still no sign of what was going on, Draco went back outside, with an explanation that he didn’t want to be found out of his ordered place.

Severus stood and walked in a daze to the Restroom, when he was sure the door would be locked, it opened. When he expected to see blood or the sign of a fight, he saw clean tiles. What he didn’t expect to see was Harry Potter washing his hands in the sink, and looking completely unharmed.

“Hello” Potter greeted Severus, friendly enough, but of course Severus didn’t look like Severus. Severus just nodded his head and walked to the sink next to Potter; in Severus sub- conscious, he felt that what ever scent Potter had on was highly appealing.
Severus started the water and washed his hands, as Potter ran his wet hands through his hair and left, with out saying a word.

Unknown to Severus but Harry Potters cool, just about broke once the door shut, he hurried to his friends and ushered them out, while explaining to Jasper Huff, that in less then a few minutes “this place would be swarming with Auror's or Death Eaters”. To which Jasper answered back “things changed a bit sooner then you had hoped huh?” Potter’s nearly manic laughter could be heard from three blocks around in the quite night.

Back inside the small Irish pub, Severus Snape slowly came back to himself. Potter was alive, Lucius no where to be found, and he knew Draco who would never have the courage to stand off against Potter, would run. Snape figured within the next ten minutes the small pub in which he had drunk bad whisky and wished for a different life in would be swamped with Death Eaters, or Auror’s and that he shouldn’t be there when they did come, he apparated to his small, crooked cottage at Spinners End, And waited to be called. The Rosary his Grandmother had given him, when he had gotten his letter from Hogwarts was small comfort.

A/N well that on was a far bit longer; I have one Question I hope one of you readers can answer for me. Which of Severus Parents was a Muggle, I can’t remember, and my copy of HBP is somewhere unknown to mankind. So if someone could answer that for me in a review or something that would be Great Help.
Other than that, tell me what you think of the story so far, I am really happy with it, and the writing is coming really easy, it’s like I get taken over. So I hope that I will be able to Update fairly regular. Please come back and read the Third chapter when it’s up, and also review, it really gives me a lot of confidence.