Woes of a Potions Master

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to JKR. All situations are mine. No $$$ is being made from this fanfic.
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Chapter 2 ~ The Root of the Problem

Severus was already seated at breakfast in the Great Hall and cutting into his sausage, when his wife walked in. Instead of sitting next to her husband as usual, Hermione, with her nose in the air, grabbed her chair, carried down past several other staff members and set it down next to Professor Trelawney, next to whom there was always room. Severus scowled at the witch. He had a miserable night, her absence causing him to constantly flail in his sleep. He was so used to possessively throwing an arm or a leg over Hermione, that not having her available threw his whole system out of whack. And what was worse, his morning hard-on had nowhere to go. So he was already in a bad mood when she entered the Great Hall.

His mood was about to get much worse.

As if on cue, the doors to the hall were thrown open, and seven students walked in. The hall went silent for a moment, as it did every morning when these particular students arrived for breakfast. It also fell silent at lunch and dinner as well. Actually, anytime these seven walked into anyplace, silence ensued if only for a few moments.

They walked up the center aisle in formation as they always did, two abreast, three following, then two bringing up the rear. As they walked, they glared at everyone who turned to look at them, including the staff. At first glance, one might assume they were Goths, with their black hair and pancake make-up. But they weren’t Goths. They were the Snapelets. Dedicated fans and admirers of one Severus Snape. And they were firm believers in the adage that imitation was the highest form of flattery.

They stalked into the Great Hall, scowling blackly as the titters started, their robes billowing, stopped in the middle of the aisle and broke formation, taking their seats at their respective house tables. Four of them were in Hufflepuff, two in Ravenclaw and one was, unbelievably, a Gryffindor. No Slytherin would dare to emulate Severus. Not if they wanted to remain comfortable in their house. They wisely hid their snickers.

The Snapelets were all outcasts that found they had something in common…a deep, abiding infatuation with any and everything to do with Severus Snape, the snarkiest teacher at Hogwarts. He was their hero. The original Outcast, a wizard who inspired respect and fear in everyone he met, and ruled his classes with an iron wand. The Snapelets emulated the Professor’s walk, his speech, his facial expressions, everything…to the joy of the rest of Hogwarts, who found them hilarious. Of course this hilarity also found its way to the Potions Master, who didn’t find it funny at all.

These students had gone as far as to change their hair texture and color to match his apparently lanky locks, and every morning applied make-up to try and match the paleness of his skin. They put billowing charms on their robes, so they would rifle majestically as they walked, and they all talked in low, silky voices whenever they spoke. They even wore muggle inventions called ‘contacts’ to make their eye color black. Initially, they had transfigured their noses to be larger and more hawk-like, but Minerva had Albus ban such ‘disfigurement’ as she called it, citing that it made them unrecognizable. It was an absolute nightmare for Severus. Two of the Snapelets were female, which made it even worse.

The entire staff was trying to hold in their laughter, cutting their eyes toward the Potions Master mirthfully as he scowled over his breakfast. Well, almost the entire staff. Hermione looked at the Snapelets somberly. The rest of the student body on the other hand, were laughing out loud, as they always did. Severus closed his eyes and pinched his nose in irritation. Why him? Why did they choose him to worship so openly? He hated adolescents with their teenaged angst, rebellious streaks and idiotic inclinations to latch on to the most outrageous ideas possible and express them publicly.

When he had first become aware of the students, he had brought them into his office and tried terrorizing them back to normalcy. They all just stared at him in adoration as he took points, assigned them detentions and dressed them down thoroughly. After he was finished ranting and threatening them, one of the girls said, “You are so cool, Professor. Just…sooooo cool.”

If they had been doing this to be funny, he could have handled that. But they were doing this because they identified with him, for whatever reasons and to Albus there was no reason for them to be punished or forced to conform to what wizarding society thought normal. They were sincere in their admiration of the Professor and had a right to express their admiration, even if it did embarrass the hell out of the Potions Master. At least he had managed to stop them from following him around like chicks, though they did follow him individually from time to time, studying him so as to perfect their imitation. He had busted all of them at one time or another after curfew, trailing him on his rounds. But no matter how much he punished them, they continued in their adoration of him.

The smitten students practiced his body language intensely, each Snapelet performing for the others and getting critiques on brow movement, hand gestures and walk. They were also quite rude and snarky, often losing points for their responses to their other Professors. They never smiled either, the best effort a small, thin smirk…just like Severus. The Potions Master smiled for Hermione all the time, but in public he never evidenced much emotion, and the Snapelets were just as cold. Other students goading them had little effect other than getting snarky replies before they billowed off. They didn’t care what anyone thought, just like their idol, Professor Snape.

The laughter in the Great Hall finally died down, but little titters arose here and there as the students snuck glances up at the Professor. Initially, the existence of the Snapelets had lowered the fear level in the other students concerning the Professor. If he let those posers get away with imitating him, how tough could he be? They soon found out. A few very cold nights out in the Forbidden Forest, wandless and collecting dead herbs without gloves showed them the Professor was no lollipop, despite the continued existence of the Snapelets.

Albus and the other staff members didn’t understand just how upsetting this situation was for the Potions Master. The very presence of these Snapelets was undermining his authority, despite his cracking down on his students. He didn’t see the desperate terror in the eyes of his pupils when he emerged from the dungeons like he used to. How would Albus like to enter the Great Hall and see a bunch of bearded, oddly dressed students in half-moon spectacles acting just like him? Or Trelawney enjoy being besieged by a bunch of spooky-speaking, scarf-trailing, bug-eyed students with huge glasses and wooly predictions?

Hm.

Severus’ eyes shifted down the table, looking at all the smirking staff members. How would they like it? His brow furrowed.

Desperate times called for desperate measures. He needed to take a trip to Diagon Alley for a consultation. If Albus wouldn’t do anything about this, then it was up to him. There was only one Severus Snape, and he needed no groupies or worshippers to validate and undermine him. He’d make a quick stop at Gringott’s, make a withdrawal, then go and take care of this situation himself…with a little help, that is. He knew just who could, in all probability, make this all go away.

Severus looked down the table at his wife, who narrowed her eyes at him and tossed her head insolently, turning her face away from him. This was noticed by quite a few of his colleagues, adding to his embarrassment. She didn’t have to make their problems common knowledge. Hermione could be a vindictive little bitch when she wanted to be. There were times when he had to reassert himself with the little minx when she got out of hand. It looked like this was going to be one of those times.

“All right, Mrs. Snape,” Severus thought as he looked at his wife with narrowed eyes, “I’ve got a little something for you too.”

He’d get her back in his rooms. Then he’d teach her a little lesson about abandoning him in his time of need.

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A/N: Lol. the Snapelets. :::shaking head:::: ooh. Looks like Hermione’s going to get hers too. Please review.