Light on the Dark Side of Me

The Light on the Dark Side of Me
Chapter 2: ‘The talk’ from Dumbledore

After his classes were done for the day, Harry made his way back to the Gryffindor common room. Changing out of his robes, Harry heard a loud pop next to him.

“Dobby! How are you doing?”

“Dobby is feeling very sad, yes he is.”

“Why Dobby?”

“Because Harry Potter is to be leaving Dobby for the summer and Dobby is not to be seeing him until next year. Dobby will be missing Harry Potter.”

“I’ll miss you too Dobby, and trust me I’m not looking forward to leaving Hogwarts either,” Harry mused, a frown creeping onto his face.

“Dobby came to tell Harry Potter that Headmaster Dumbledore wants to see him after dinner in his office. He is telling Dobby that the password is lemon meringue pie.”

“Okay Dobby thanks. Do you know what it is about?”

“Dobby would tell Harry Potter if he knew but Dobby is knowing nothing.”

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As Harry made his way into Dumbledore’s office after dinner that night, he wondered if this was just one of their usual meetings or if Dumbledore wanted to speak with him about something in particular.

“Come in Harry. Sit, have some tea. Lemon drop?” Dumbledore offered.

“No thank you sir. Is everything okay?”

“Yes, of course. It’s been a while since we’ve last spoken. Have you been having any more dreams Harry?”

Harry didn’t even bother to wonder how Dumbledore knew this. Harry was embarrassed to admit that he had indeed resumed having dreams about Voldemort after several months without them. He confessed this, but was quick to explain that they were just a series of disjointed images and didn’t seem important enough to mention before.

“I was going to mention it, sir. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.”

“Not a problem my boy. But it seems we will have to do something about them.”

“Perhaps a potion,” Harry offered, hoping to distract Dumbledore’s mind from the option of resuming his Occlumency training. This possibility was after all the reason Harry had neglected to mention his dreams before now.

“Let me think on this Harry. How are your classes going?”

“Fine sir.” Dumbledore smiled at Harry from behind those half-moon spectacles, as if waiting for Harry to continue. Suddenly, Harry was voicing something he’d been thinking for a long while: “It’s just that, I’m not learning anything in Defense against the Dark Arts, sir. And I’m worried about how I’m supposed to defeat Voldemort when we keep having Professors that either refuse to teach us or don’t know how to. I mean Professor Burrows is nice and all, but...Do you know if we’re going to get someone more...” Harry paused to consider his choice of words here, “...experienced with the Dark arts and its Defense next year?”

Harry was pleased to see that Dumbledore was amused by his attempt at tact: “I’m afraid not my boy, the applicant pool is looking quite meager. But I shall see what I can do. I shall think on this also Harry. I appreciate your honesty.”

“Of course sir. Thank you.”

“Now Harry I must confess that I had another reason for asking you here tonight.” Harry said nothing, so Dumbledore continued, deciding to be as candid as possible: “Professor McGonagall insisted that I speak with you about sex Harry. It appears you were seen in the company of quite a few young ladies of late, and since I doubt your aunt and uncle have spoken with you about this topic, I thought I’d offer my services.”

Harry blushed. He could not believe he was in Dumbledore’s office about to have ‘the talk.’ “Sir, thanks, but that really isn’t necessary. I think I pretty much know all there is to know.”

Dumbledore continued, non-plussed: “If you don’t want me to discuss the specifics with you, I can of course give you a short book on the topic, if you promise to look through it.”

Harry accepted the book Dumbledore offered him, and glanced at the title, The Basics of Wizard Sexuality. “I will sir,” Harry offered quickly.

“But I’m afraid I do feel compelled to discuss your behavior of late. You were seen kissing three different girls in the span of a week, going into the Room of Requirement with one, and I see you have a detention from Professor Snape for being late to his class after he caught you in a comprising situation.”

Harry wondered briefly who saw him and Cho enter the Room of Requirement. This was mortifying. But Harry was all too happy to explain the situation to Dumbledore. “Sir, this is all a mistake. Cho and I were dating, but honestly, we broke up, mostly because she wanted more than I did in the Room of Requirement, sir.” Harry noted that Dumbledore seemed relieved by this news. Harry proceeded to explain the situation with Parvati and Annaleise in detail, and found Dumbledore chuckling to himself throughout.

“It seems you have had quite an interesting week Harry.”

“Tell me about it. And now everyone thinks I’m like the most eligible bachelor at Hogwarts. And the worst part is that instead of avoiding me for it, all these girls are coming up to me now and asking me out. It’s horrible.”

“So there is no one that you’re interested in at the moment?” Dumbledore queried with interest.

Harry stopped for a moment. Perhaps he could get advice from Dumbledore on his current situation without getting into too many specifics. After all, an opportunity like this would not present itself too often and Dumbledore was really being very nice about the whole thing. He was finding him surprisingly easy to talk to, even about this.

“Well...” Harry began hesitantly. “There is someone, I think I might like, but I’m not really sure.”

“Why don’t you tell me what she’s like Harry.”

She. Yes, it would be she wouldn’t it, Harry thought.

“Uhmm...what do you mean?”

Dumbledore decided to help Harry along. “Just tell me about her. For example, is she in Gryffindor? Is she in your year? Is she pretty?”

Harry started laughing. He nearly dropped his tea cup. If only Dumbledore knew! Harry recovered with: “Sorry professor I was just thinking about something Ron said at dinner. Uhmm, pretty? Well not in the traditional sense, sir. No, she’s not in Gryffindor and not in my year either. Pretty strange I guess...”

“As I’m sure your Divination lessons have taught you Harry, making predictions about whom one fancies is at best a futile endeavor,” Dumbledore said smiling.

I bet you wouldn’t predict that I fancy your Potions Master, Harry thought.

“Yeah, I guess. But...” Harry paused to consider his next question. “How do you know if you really fancy someone?”

Dumbledore took a sip of his tea before answering. “Well, why don’t you tell me how you feel when you’re around them Harry.”

Harry thought carefully about his answer. “Well...I like being around them, but it’s all very hard being around them at the same time. It’s very...” Harry looked for the right word, “complicated.”

“Ah yes...” Dumbledore said, his eyes smiling at Harry. “That bodes either very well my boy or not so well.”

Harry was confused. “What do you mean, sir.”

“Love is complicated Harry.”

“Love?” Harry sputtered through his tea, trying not to spit it out. “It’s definitely not love, sir. That much I know,” Harry said with conviction.

“Of course Harry. My apologies. A crush then, perhaps?” Dumbledore offered.

Harry didn’t like the way that sounded at first, but then a reassuring thought struck him. A crush! Of course, people had crushes on their Professors all the time - that was normal. Except this professor happened to be a man. “Maybe,” Harry consented.

“So what do you like about this person Harry?” Dumbledore asked, offering him another chocolate biscuit, which Harry accepted.

Harry thought about this for a while. What did he like about Professor Snape? His voice, was the first thing that came into Harry’s mind. I can’t say that, Harry thought.

“She’s...she’s...” Harry started. Just saying ‘she’ was making his throat dry. Harry wondered if he should tell Dumbledore that it wasn’t a she. Of course he wouldn’t mention that it was Snape of all people that he was interested in, but Harry needed to confess his strange desires to someone and why not one of the most understanding wizards he’d ever met. Harry’s heart was beginning to pound very hard in his chest, he sighed deeply and placed his head in his hands

“What’s wrong Harry?” Dumbledore asked gently.

“It’s just that...she’s...she’s not a she. It’s a he,” Harry said.

“Ah, well that’s perfectly normal Harry. My apologies for making the wrong assumption - you can of course understand why I did that - you did have quite a busy week after all didn’t you?” Dumbledore asked, his eyes positively twinkling.

He’s telling jokes after what I just told him. He doesn’t think I’m a freak.

Dumbledore continued: “That is also, of course, discussed in that book I gave you.” But Harry wasn’t listening to Dumbledore at all. He was feeling immensely relieved at the thought that at least one person knew and that person didn’t think he was a freak. Suddenly, the prospect of going back to the Dursleys for the summer didn’t seem quite as daunting. At least he knew one person understood. He was shaken out of his thoughts by Dumbledore’s voice.

“Harry, are you listening to me?” Dumbledore asked.

“Yes, sir, I’m sorry,” Harry said.

“I asked you if you were going to tell this person how you feel about him,” Dumbledore said, a curious smile on his face.

“Uhmm, no I don’t think so, sir. He’s not really...uhmm...the approachable type.” Harry said, not quite knowing how to word: He would kill me with his bare hands if I told him.

Dumbledore chuckled. “Well, everyone has their demons to face Harry,” Dumbledore mused, and then added seriously, “Some more than others. But remember, things change and people change Harry. Perhaps, my boy, in time...”

Harry didn’t quite understand what Dumbledore was saying, but he certainly wasn’t going to ask for an explanation. Harry thanked him for the tea and went straight back to his dorm, with a new found feeling of relief. Harry slept quite well that night.

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A/N: To everyone who left reviews for my story, I can’t tell you how happy I was to find them - thanks so much. Especially the ones which cited favorite lines....that is so helpful!! Please keep it up.
Another note, I’ve written most of quite a bit of this story already - and it looks like it’s going to be about 25 or so chapters. I just have to revise each before I post.
A little teaser: the next chapter, which will be up soon, is titled Double detention with Snape. But be warned, you will need to be patient for romance.