A Painful Choice

A/N Thank you very much to all those that took the time to read and review. I am grateful for your input and Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Harry spent most of the day with Ron in the critical care unit of St. Mungo\'s. There was little that he could do for his friend while he was in the magically induced healing sleep, but he could tell that Ron knew he was there. He smiled when Hermione and the remaining Weasleys entered the room. He was quickly pulled from his seat and enveloped in a tight hug by Molly, followed close behind by Hermione. He nodded at Charlie, Fred, George, and Arthur.


They had lost Ginny in an attack on the Burrow shortly after Dumbledore’s death and Bill and Percy in the final battle. Harry still felt his chest tighten when he thought about the way he had left things with the youngest Weasley. He had needed the time to train to defeat Voldemort but he knew he could have dealt better with her fragile feelings. He had honestly believed that he would be lessening the blow that she would take when he died fighting Voldemort. In spite of all of his losses he had never pictured Ginny dying before him.


“He fought so bravely, Harry. I am so proud of him.” Hermione sniffled a little before turning her tear stained face into Harry’s shoulder.


“He will be fine, Mione. You two will be married in the spring just as you planned and next thing you know you will be chasing around a bunch of little red heads with more intelligence and spirit than anyone will no how to handle.” He held her while she cried knowing that it was all that he could do to help.


Fred and George chimed in with guesses as to how soon they could once again test their new pranks on their favorite guinea pig, causing Molly to berate them and Charlie and Arthur to hide a chuckle. It amazed Harry how resilient these people were.


They spent several hours talking to and over Ron’s prone form before Harry took his leave. He had to promise Molly that he would take care of himself and come to see them at the Burrow soon. He hugged Hermione close to him whispering assurances about a future that he knew she didn’t fully believe even though they were true, and kissed her cheek in parting.


He Apparated to Hogsmeade before making his way to the castle to meet with the Headmistress who was waiting for him at the gates. “Mr. Potter right on time. A newly acquired habit I presume.”


He smiled fondly at his former head of house. “I have acquired many new habits since leaving school, Professor.”


She looked at him sternly for a moment before returning his smile. “I am sure that you have. How is Professor Snape settling in? I hope that there haven’t been too many injuries.”


“I believe he is in shock at the moment, but there have been no injuries unless he has managed to have a run in with Dobby since I left him this morning.” He intentionally kept his tone dead pan


She looked at him quizzically for a moment but when no follow up was forthcoming she decided to ignore his odd statements. “Would you like to accompany me to my office to chat?”


“No headmistress. I was hoping to avoid my meeting with Dumbledore’s portrait for bit longer. I thought perhaps you would be open to a stroll around the lake.”


“You know he would love to see you and it has been over three years, what is going to change?” She reprimanded him sternly. When he made no move to respond she sighed gustily and agreed to the walk.


They walked silently for a time before Harry addressed the reason for his visit. “Headmistress, did Dumbledore ever confide in you what he went through after defeating Grindelwald?”


“Nothing specific Mr. Potter. He at one time he commented on the difficulty is had caused him to be in the spotlight. I believe that he left the country for a time not too long after the end of the war. I hate to state the obvious but the portrait in my office was painted just two months before his death. I would imagine that he could answer any questions that you may have.”


“While I agree that going straight to the source would be the most efficient way to get the information that I need, I am not able to control myself well enough yet to confront the man that guaranteed the I would never have an ounce of free will.” Harry took a deep breath knowing that he was pushing his self control to the limit. “Just tell me this, did you know why he put me into the care of the Dursleys?”

“Of course, Harry. Your mothers blood protection. You know that.” She was clearly confused and upset at this turn in the conversation and Harry realized that he would get nothing useful from her.


“I am leaving Europe after the Ministry dinner. I am genuinely grateful for all that you have done for me and I wish you the best.” He left the very perplexed headmistress staring after him he strode rapidly to the apparition point. Taking some dearly needed deep breaths he headed for the one person that he knew would be able to give him some much needed perspective. He Apparated to Malfoy Manor.


The wards announced his presence and he was met at the gates by a house elf shortly after his arrival. “I am Harry Potter and I am here to see the lord of the manor.” He stated to the elf name Primpy.


“Sir Harry Potter should follow Primpy. I will tells the Master that you is wanting to see him.” The diminutive creature led him to a spacious study with a warm fire burning in the grate to await the master. He had to wait several minutes, which he spent listlessly into the roaring fire thinking as little as possible.


He was awakened from his lethargy by a familiar drawl. “Have you come to apologize Potter, or were you looking for fisticuffs as before dinner entertainment?” Harry looked up to see Draco enter the study looking perfectly put together without so much as a hair out of place.


Harry had to choke back a laugh at the image of Draco dancing around with boxing gloves saying things like “float like a butterfly sting like a bee” before dining in the elegant Malfoy dining room. When Draco raised an eyebrow at his continued silence, Harry once again almost lost it. “It looks like I came to the right place.” He mumbled almost to himself as he composed himself to respond to the arrogant former Slytherin. “I will apologize when I am the one that has kept you in the dark about facts that will likely get you killed.” He raised his hand to stop the rejoinder that Draco clearly wanted to spout. “I will say that although, ‘fisticuffs ‘ seem like a merry way to pass the time, I came for neither. This is purely a social call.”


Draco looked a bit surprised, but covered it quickly. “Good. If this is a social visit perhaps you would care to enlighten me as to why I have received more owls and fire calls today than I have for the last year.”


“Is there some particular reason that I would know why you have become so popular?”


“Considering the fact that they all wanted to know if I had any idea what was wrong with their golden boy, I feel it is safe to assume that if you don’t know, then no one does.”


Harry contemplated the unsurprising fact that he was the topic of either gossip or concern long enough to make it look like he was giving it some thought. The truth was he would probably have been shocked if he wasn’t the main topic of conversation after his behavior the last couple of days. He appraised Draco’s expression for a moment before coming to forgone conclusion that he had no one else to share this with and he needed to share this with someone.


He and Draco had never been friends but during the was they had come to a certain understanding of sorts. Harry also knew that when push came to shove the former Slytherin would follow the side with the most power and influence and at the moment at least Harry had both. Without saying anything Harry dug the worn parchment out of his pocket and threw it unceremoniously at Draco to read.

/My Dearest Harry,


If my instructions were carried out correctly, you are reading this after defeating Tom Riddle. I have much to atone for and I have no doubt that you will find this missive to be difficult to accept at best, but I will try in death to be more honest than I was during my life.

After Sibyll Trelawney’s prophecy I started researching the background of the few children that would be born as the seventh month dies. There were three probable babies that might fit the profile. Yourself, Neville Longbottom, and Blaise Zabini. It was easy to rule out Zabini as his parents were Voldemort sympathizers if not full blown death eaters. You and Neville were a different matter. You both had parents that had repeatedly defied Voldemort and you were both due on the same day.

I didn’t believe we could leave the choice to fate. The one chosen would have to be powerful enough to defeat a dark wizard of enormous power, and be willing to do so. I looked into the histories of the two families as well as the magical abilities of the parents. After a thorough examination, it was obvious, that you were the one the prophesy spoke of. The Potters were a pureblood family with genetic ties to Gryffindor, they produced prominent and strong witches and wizards, that married into families that were also magically strong. Lily’s mother was a Squib descended from Slytherin himself .

I was afraid to let the prophecy unfold on it’s own so I allowed Severus to report the portion that he had overheard to his Master. I also let it be known that I believed that Lily and James were in danger and encouraged them to hide. In doing so I cemented the belief that you would be the one to defeat of Voldemort.

I placed you with the Dursleys knowing that they would be at best unkind to Lily’s orphaned child. I even made things worse by telling them in the note that I left with you, that your parents were killed because of the magic you possessed and hinted that you might be cured of the influence if they were to starve and work it out of you. I believed that you would tempered by fire so to speak and come back to us as hot steel ready to be molded by the first people who seemed to care about you. As things turned out I was only partially correct. I chose Hagrid to retrieve you because he was honest and lovable, totally devoted to our cause.

You were easy to manipulate but unfortunately you were also incredible loving, forgiving, and lacked the intense hatred that I believed you would need. When Severus came to me before your sixth year to inform me of the unbreakable vow that he had made to help Draco Malfoy end my life, I knew this was my final chance. Severus was trying to come up with ways to end his own life that would in some way help with the fight. It wasn’t easy but I convinced him that I was already dying and he would be even more valuable after showing the Death Eaters that he could be completely trusted. You have probably already seen the memory of this conversation that I left for the Order and the Wizengamot and know how difficult it was to convince him that it was the right thing to do. I played on his fondness for Draco and his loyalty to the light. In the end he agreed and the plan was put into motion. I needed for you to see it happen. I knew from your reaction to Sirius’ death that this was the trigger that you needed.



I do not blame you if you cannot forgive me for what I have done to you and your family, but it time I hope that you can at least understand that I did it to end a brutal war that would have been the end of our world. I have commissioned a portrait of myself that will have all of my current memories. I hope you can bring yourself to visit me for the rest of the answers that you need. You will have absorbed a great deal of his power when you killed Tom, and you may need help on both controlling it and channeling it in ways that will not cause yourself or others harm.


Please believe that in spite of everything I love and care for you.


Albus Dumbledore/



Draco read the parchment twice before sitting heavily in the nearest chair. “well that would certainly explain any odd behavior on your part.”


TBC