After All This Time

\" Lacy did you know that you had been pregnant when you were attacked?\" She asked.
\" No--What do you mean \'had been\'?\" I asked.
\" Your baby didn\'t survive the attack.\" She said, quietly. \" The cuts are even to deep for me to heal completley. I\'m sorry.\" I didn\'t say anything, just turned on my side and cried.
\" Lacy, what\'s wrong?\" Harry asked, about an hour later.
\" Mommy?\" I heard Hope. She jumped up on the bed and cradled herself up to my body. I held her and cried more.
\" Lacy honey?\" Harry asked. I never anwsered him, and Madmae Pomfrey didn\'t tell him. I was released a week later. I avoided Harry all of the time.
About a month passed and I still kept avoiding Harry. I kept Hope close. I hadn\'t told him.
\" Hey talk to me.\" Harry said. \" What\'s wrong?\"
\" Nothing.\" I lied.
\" You\'ve barely spolen two words to me for the past month.\" He said. Hope ran downstairs.
\" I don\'t want to talk.\" I said.
\" Lacy.\" Harry said.
\" Harry just leave me alone.\" I said.
\" Mommy?\" Hope asked.
\" Mommy\'s busy.\" I said, sternly. She pouted. \" Oh God, baby girl, I\'m sorry.\" I picked her up. \" You wanted to show me something didn\'t you?\"
\" No, I have a question.\" She said.
\" What\'s your question baby girl?\" I asked.
\" Can I have a brother or sister?\" She asked with a giggle. I looked at Harry, and something snapped.
\" Take her.\" I said, handing him to her. \" Take her.\"
\" Lacy?\" He said. Hope was crying.
\" Take her.\" I repeated, he held her as she cried. I left the room.
Harry found me about an hour later on the grounds. I stood in the rain, somehow it was kind of soothing.
\" Lacy?\" Harry said.
\" Get away from me.\" I yelled, crying.
\" Honey tell me what\'s wrong?\" He asked. \" I know Hope\'s question upset you.\"
\" Where\'s Hope?\" I asked.
\" With Ron and Hermione for the night.\" He said. \" Please tell me what\'s wrong?\"
\" Go away.\" I said.
\" Lacy I know you\'re having a har time with not getting pregnant but honey we can try the fertility--\" I cut him off.
\" Shut up!\" I yelled. \" Shut up! Shut up!\" I yelled crying, and pushing him away.
\" Honey?\" Harry asked. He was a little freaked out. I looked up and saw that even with the rain there was a full moon.
\" No!\" I cried.
\" Lacy tell me please. Is it because of not getting--\" I yelled for him to shut up again.
\" I was pregnant!\" I screamed at him.
\" What?\" He asked. I sat down on the ground to tired and exhausted to hold myself up any longer. \" Lacy, when?\" I pointed up at the full moon.
Harry didn\'t say anything, he just kneeled at my side holding me to him. This lasted for about 20 minutes.
\" Let\'s get you out of the rain.\" He said. I nodded. We went back to our room. Since the last full moon, Professor Lupin had Professor Snape make up a monthly potion to keep him from changing.
\" Madame Pomfrey had said I had been 3 weeks along. The cuts were too deep. The baby never had the chance against the attack.\" I said, a lot calmer.
\" Are you ok--physically?\" He asked, softly. I nodded.
\" Madame Pomfrey said there was no reason that I could not get pregnant again.\" I said.
\" Honey.\" Harry said.
\" I\'ve been a real--\" He cut me off.
\" You\'ve had every right.\" He said. \" Does anyone else--\"
\" No.\" I said. \" No one else knows.\" I paused. \" I hate that we\'ve tried for so long and then when it finally happens--\" I couldn\'t finish my sentence.
\" Everything will be ok. It\'ll all work out.\" He said.
\" It doesn\'t feel like it.\" I siad.
\" It will.\" He said.
\" I didn\'t find out until after the fact. I don\'t want you to think that I didn\'t tell you.\" I said.
\" I would never think that.\" He said. Then I remembered Hope, and how I\'d treated her.
\" Is Hope ok?\" I asked. \" I was so horrible to her.\"
\" She\'s fine. As soon as Hermione showed her the kitten she forgot all about what happened.\" He said. I stood looking out the window, I felt Harry put his arms around me. I leaned back into him.
\" Don\'t ever let go.\" I said.
\" Wouldn\'t dream of it.\" He said. He kissed my cheek. \" Why don\'t you go up and change your clothes, and then we\'ll sit by the fire?\" I nodded. I went upstairs and changed into a pair of sweats and a little spaghetti strap shirt. Harry had changed too.
\" You could have come upstairs.\" I said, quietly.
\" I want you to have your space.\" He said, quietly. Harry and I both fell asleep on the couch with the fire keeping us warm. I was wrapped up in his arms.