Penance is the Play

Even though Harry\'s morning tasks had become routine by then, they didn\'t feel familiar at all. Everything felt different, because with everything Harry did he kept remembering what had happened the night before.

He stood under the shower and remembered how Snape\'s fingers curled around his cock. He brushed his teeth and thought of the way Snape\'s eyes smoldered. He put on his clothes and kept thinking about the unexpected smile around Snape\'s lips at the moment of his climax.

Breakfast was no better. In fact, when Harry left the kitchen to go down to the cellar, he didn\'t even recall eating anything, though his stomach was full.

He knocked on the cellar door with a trembling hand.

\"Enter.\"

Snape stood at his worktable, appearing as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Harry walked to his side of the room, and for a few seconds he allowed himself to think that perhaps it had all been a dream.

Until he saw four stoppered vials standing in the middle of the table.

\"That\'s your work from last night, Potter. I thought you\'d be able to find a use for it.\"

Harry gently put the vials to the side. \"Yes, sir.\" Snape remembered. Of course Snape remembered, but Harry didn\'t understand why he seemed so...normal about it.

\"Pay attention!\"

Startled, Harry looked up. Snape stood on the other side of his table. Harry hadn\'t even realized he\'d been staring off into the distance.

\"This is the list of the potions you\'ll be brewing.\" Snape placed a sheet of parchment between them on the table. \"Some of these potions will take only a few hours to brew. Others weeks, but that shouldn\'t be a problem, since you have the rest of the holidays to brew them.\"

\"Yes, sir.\" Harry picked up the list and read it carefully.

Snape reached behind him and produced a large, dark wooden box, which he placed in front of Harry. \"You\'ll be creating your own private potions supply. Potions which will aid you. Later today, I\'ll show you a spell to guard this box, so you, and only you can open it.\"

Nodding, Harry kept his eyes on the parchment. There were at least five different healing potions on it, a burn-salve, a blood-replenishing potion, two poisons Harry hadn\'t heard of before, Draught of the Living Dead, a few potions Harry wasn\'t familiar with at all, and there, at the bottom, Polyjuice Potion and Veritaserum.

Harry blinked up at Snape. \"Veritaserum? You\'re letting me brew Veritaserum?\"

Releasing a deep breath, Snape kept quiet for a moment, and then seemed to choose his words with care. \"Potter. All these potions serve very specific purposes and may aid you during this war. As I already said, this will be your private potions supply, and you are not to share it with anyone. You are not even to tell anyone of its existence. I\'m well aware a potion such as Veritaserum can easily be abused. However, should you ever abuse any of these, you will answer to me personally.\"

There was no heat or arousal in Snape\'s black eyes this time as he stared at Harry. Only cold calculation, and Harry nodded timidly.

\"Yes, sir. I\'ll be very careful with them.\"

Snape hooked a finger around the lid and opened the box. \"Inside you\'ll find instructions on how to brew each of those potions, plus all the ingredients you need for them. Some of the instructions of these potions, such as Veritaserum, aren\'t available in any public literature. Keep these instructions safe, understood?\"

Harry nodded and stared into the box. There had been a time the sight of all those ingredients and the power that came with them would have made him gleeful and set on revenge against a few choice Slytherins. But Snape\'s words weighed heavily, and Harry understood this wasn\'t about school pranks, but about his life.

\"That,\" Snape pointed at a small stone in the corner of the box, \"is a bezoar. I\'m positive you\'ll remember what it\'s for.\"

Snickering, Harry picked it up. \"Yeah. For antidotes. I\'ll never forget that lesson.\"

Snape smirked. \"I thought you wouldn\'t. Now, I suggest you start by brewing the Draught of the Living Dead, and then study the rest of the instructions. The scent masking potion can come later.\"

\"You just don\'t want me to win,\" Harry said, offering Snape a grin.

\"You know me too well.\" Snape turned with a swirl of his robes. \"Get to work, Potter.\"

At the bottom of the box lay a stack of parchment, all filled with Snape\'s script describing ingredients and instructions. There also was a delicate knife, a mortar and pestle, and a few ladles, both wood and iron. Harry took the instructions out, and then ran his fingers over all the vials and jars of ingredients, admiring them quietly.

\"Stop procrastinating!\"

Harry jumped, rattling the box. He sorted through the parchment until he found the instructions for the Draught of the Living Dead, and selected the correct ingredients. When he reached for the cauldron, he noticed where he was standing.

He was standing in the exact same spot Snape had stood the previous night. Where Snape had pleasured himself, watching Harry.

Trying to shake that image from his mind, Harry turned and knocked one of the vials of lubricant to the floor with his elbow.

\"That had better not be the aconite,\" Snape said as he whirled to glare at Harry.

\"No, sir. Just the...er...lube.\" Harry reached for his wand and cleaned up the mess. \"Sorry. I\'m a bit distracted.\" He felt his cheeks burn and wished they didn\'t.

Snape watched him, and then smirked. \"You\'ll learn there is time for work, and there is time for play, and they rarely coincide.\"

Frowning, Harry thought for a moment. \"Then what was last night?\"

\"An exception.\"

\"I thought you didn\'t do exceptions.\"

\"You thought wrong.\"

Snorting, Harry took out the knife, and started slicing the Ramora fins. \"So, I\'m guessing I can use the Draught of the Living Dead to dose someone with if I need them incapacitated. That\'s why I need to brew it, right?\"

\"Correct.\"

\"You know, if you can take points during the holidays, you can also give them. Just a thought.\"

\"Don\'t push it, Potter.\"

Chuckling, Harry slid the sliced fins into his cauldron, and examined the instructions to make sure he\'d get it right.

They continued their work in silence, though Harry asked the occasional question about the ingredients he was preparing, and Snape answered him in a curt, classroom voice.

And after a few hours, when his stomach alerted him it was nearly time for lunch, Harry thought that the morning had gone well. Snape remembered, but didn\'t treat him any differently for it. No ridicule or hateful remarks. Only the professional and – at least for Snape – mild attitude he\'d shown Harry since they\'d started their summer lessons.

\"Your potion needs to simmer for a few hours,\" Snape said, lowering the fire under his own cauldron with a flick of his wand. \"I suggest we take a break now, and then continue with your charm work.\"

Harry nodded, and followed Snape to the kitchen. Lunch was a quiet and quick event. Snape, methodical as ever, didn\'t waste much time preparing a plate of sandwiches while Harry made a pot of tea. They sat opposite each other, and ate without talking. When Harry finished the last of his tea, and really wanted to just sit for ten minutes, Snape got up.

Their next stop was the library. Harry made to pick up The Prankster Guide To Tricky Charms, but Snape interrupted him with a sharp wave of his hand.

\"We have no time for first year material, Potter. You\'re to practice the Night Eyes Charm.\" Snape reached for his wand, closed all the curtains with a single swish, and then pointed it at his own face. \"Place the tip against the bridge of your nose, and say firmly: Nocturnus Aspectus.\"

Harry did as Snape told him, while Snape cast a Nox. The room went dark, and for a moment Harry thought he hadn\'t got it right. Until faint shapes swam into his vision, black and white, with an eerie green glow around them. He could see the table, the chairs, his own arms reaching out to find his way around the room, and Snape standing to the side, watching him silently.

\"It worked,\" Harry said, blinking his eyes as he took in the objects around him, familiar and yet not. \"This is quite bizarre.\"

\"You\'ll get used to it. How many fingers am I holding up, Potter?\"

Harry glanced at Snape, and saw he had his hands balled into fists and arms crossed. \"None. But I can see your smirk, though.\"

Snape\'s smirk almost turned into a smile, but Snape looked away at the last moment. \"Enough. End the charm.\"

A few incantations later, everything was back to normal, and Harry wrote the Night Eyes Charm down on his list before Snape could remind him to take notes.

\"There are also a few curses you should master, so you can incapacitate your adversary.\"

\"Curses?\" Harry fingered his wand, remembering the horrible curses he\'d read in the book Snape had insisted he read. \"Why not just cast a Stunning Spell if I want to take someone out?\"

\"Because, you ignorant child, anyone can end a Stunning Spell,\" Snape snarled, glaring at Harry. \"These curses can only be canceled by the caster. If the caster doesn\'t end them, they\'ll have to wear off, which will take at least 24 hours.\"

\"Ah,\" Harry said, trying not to look too put out. \"I didn\'t know that.\"

\"I hadn\'t expected you would. Now pay attention.\" Snape pointed his wand at a side table and transfigured a Chinese vase into a chicken. \"First, the Blinding Curse. The incantation is: Occaecare.\"

\"What does it do?\" Harry asked, still not sure he wanted to know any such curses.

\"Are you truly this ignorant or are you trying to annoy me?\" Snape grabbed Harry\'s shoulder and pushed him towards the chicken, who stared at them both with wide eyes. \"It blinds a person, you idiot. Cast it!\"

Harry raised his wand, and said in a small voice, \"Occaecare.\"

A faint yellow light shot from his wand and hovered around the chicken\'s head a few moments before the chicken\'s eyes turned strangely light-blue.

Snape sighed. \"Not powerful enough, but you\'ll have time later to practice. To end it, a simple Finite Incantatem will do, but remember, only you can end it. Now, for the Paralysis Curse, the incantation is: Torustitum.\"

Worrying his lip, Harry aimed his wand at the half-blind chicken. \"Torustitum!\"

The chicken fell to its side, and only its head and one leg twitched as it tried to get back on its feet.

\"Again, not powerful enough,\" Snape said, and he sounded rather satisfied Harry hadn\'t got it right at once. \"Not that I expected you to understand the delicacy of casting these curses. When cast perfectly, it paralyzes your adversary from the neck down.\"

Harry frowned. That sounded familiar. \"Is that what you\'ve been casting on me during our defense lessons?\"

\"You sound surprised. What part of we may use any magic we wish didn\'t you understand?\"

Waving a hand at the chicken, Harry glared at Snape. \"This part, obviously.\"

\"Well then, now you know.\" Snape seated himself at the table. \"Notes first, and then you\'re to practice these curses until you get them right.\"

As he stared at the poor, paralyzed chicken, Harry was tempted to test his curses on Snape. But as he thought about it, he was forced to conclude the curses may come in handy in a battle. So he ignored Snape, and set out to practice as the obedient boy Snape wanted him to be.


*~*~*~*~*


When it was time for supper, Harry felt drained. Snape had left the library an hour ago, to prepare dinner, and Harry had continued to practice until he\'d finally got the curses right. Now he was starving and felt exhausted, and really only wanted to shovel some food into his body before crawling into bed to sleep until morning. But he knew Snape still had an Occlumency lesson and a defense session planned.

Harry transfigured the chicken, which thankfully didn\'t look as if it had suffered a great deal, back into a vase. He was pleased to note the vase, instead of the blue and green it had been before, now sported bright Gryffindor colors.

Suppressing several yawns, Harry made his way down to the kitchen, where Snape filled two plates with stew. Harry wondered if that was the only thing Snape knew how to cook, but he didn\'t dare ask. He didn\'t have the energy to verbally spar Snape.

They ate in by now familiar and rather comfortable silence. When Harry put his knife and fork down, Snape cleared his throat.

\"Time for your Occlumency lesson.\"

Harry sighed. \"Can\'t we just rest for half an hour or so, sir? I\'m really tired.\"

\"I should expect so, after casting those curses all afternoon. However, the Dark Lord won\'t care if you\'re tired or not when he tries to invade your mind.\"

\"Yeah, I get it.\"

\"However, we can cut our session short and just practice in here. And to not waste any of your energy, I suggest sticking to Occlumency instead of trying to insert any teasers.\" Snape drew his wand, and leaned back in his chair, observing Harry.

\"I don\'t have anything to show you that you haven\'t already seen,\" Harry said, grinning, and he too grabbed his wand.

\"What? No bathroom trips today, Potter? I can\'t imagine how you\'re able to cope with all those pent up hormones.\" Snape\'s sneer became teasing, promising, and Harry\'s cheeks flushed. He quickly looked down.

\"Let\'s just get this over with, all right?\"

\"As you wish. Ready?\"

Harry nodded, and was hit immediately by Snape\'s invading force. Even though he was tired and didn\'t think he could keep Snape off long, he managed to concentrate on blocking Snape for quite a few moments. Perhaps not having to worry about shoving any specific memory in Snape\'s face did have a positive effect on his abilities.

Snape pushed harder, and Harry kept his mind clear, kept his memories out of Snape\'s reach, until Snape finally drew back and ended their connection.

His hand trembling, Harry lowered his wand and stared at Snape. \"I\'m making progress, aren\'t I? It wouldn\'t hurt you to tell me.\"

\"That would just be stating the obvious,\" Snape said, tapping his wand against hand. \"In fact, if you weren\'t making any progress at this point, you\'d really be the dumbest child ever to attend Hogwarts, and we both know you aren\'t.\"

\"We do?\" Harry asked, sarcasm dripping from his tone.

\"Yes, we both know Longbottom holds that dubious honor.\"

Gritting his teeth, Harry narrowed his eyes at Snape. \"Neville\'s isn\'t stupid. He\'s quite good at Herbology.\"

\"I\'m sure the boy knows a great deal about dirtying his hands while playing with plants, however, he doesn\'t have a clue about any real magic.\" Snape\'s eyes narrowed as well.

\"I\'m not going to argue with you,\" Harry said, trying to hold his temper back. \"You think Neville is dumb, I know he isn\'t. He held his own against Death Eaters at the Ministry last June.\"

\"That\'s not what I heard. Some Death Eaters were quite pleased to see that Longbottom wet himself at his first glance of real trouble.\"

\"Shut up!\" Harry yelled, pounding his fist on the table. \"Neville never --\"

\"Legilimens!\"

Harry\'s thoughts whirled through his mind like a tornado, as he\'d had no chance to braise himself against Snape. Neville stared at him, blood dripping down his nose and chin. Hermione lay lifeless on the floor. Bellatrix aimed her wand at Sirius. And Sirius fell and fell and fell --

Gasping for breath, Harry slumped forward against the table, his mind numb from the pain looking at those images had caused him.

\"You are making progress. But you\'re still far from having any real control on your emotions.\" Snape sounded distant and cold. Harry didn\'t have the energy to look up at him.

\"You bastard,\" he whispered against the tabletop. \"You fucking bastard.\"

\"I may be a bastard, Potter,\" Snape said, suddenly sounding very close. Harry realized Snape was leaning over him. \"But at least I\'m not a Dark Lord set on killing you. Do remember that, and do try to get a grip on your rampant emotions.\"

Harry heard Snape move away, followed by the sound of glass clinking and liquid flowing. He still didn\'t have the energy the raise his head, and he was surprised when Snape placed a glass of pumpkin juice in front of his face.

\"Drink that. We will continue with your defense lesson in ten minutes.\"

Curling his hand around the chilled glass, Harry attempted to sit up. He succeeded after two tries, and drained the juice. Then he slid off his glasses and leaned his face in his hands.

\"I walked straight into that one, didn\'t I?\" he said, more to himself than to Snape.

\"As I\'ve told you before, you are predictable. One choice insult about your friends and you flare up like a Killing Curse.\"

\"Yeah,\" Harry sighed, and rubbed his palms across his face. \"I just get angry and I don\'t know how to stop it.\"

\"Some would say it\'s admirable to stand up for your friends,\" Snape said, sounding pensive. \"However, those people don\'t have to live with the threat of a Dark Lord invading their mind. You need to understand your priorities.\"

Nodding, Harry put his glasses back on. \"Yeah, I understand that. It\'s just...it\'s so bloody hard.\"

Snape chuckled. \"I don\'t think anyone has every claimed it would be easy. I surely haven\'t.\"

\"How did you learn Occlumency?\" Harry looked at Snape, resting one cheek on his hand.

\"The same as you. Through necessity.\"

\"Ah. You\'re not going to tell me more, are you?\"

Snape smirked. \"Since this isn\'t about me, the answer to that would be no.\"

\"I\'m not surprised,\" Harry said, and managed a teasing grin.

\"Touché.\"

Harry kept quiet and thought about what had just happened. He\'d been angry at Snape, furious even, and before he\'d have stayed angry with Snape for hours, days. But now his anger had passed the moment he realized what Snape had done, and why he\'d done it. Harry stared at Snape, and Snape stared back, still looking very much like the menacing git he\'d always been. Snape didn\'t seem to have changed. Did that mean Harry had?

\"You have one minute, Potter.\"

\"Oh, bugger,\" Harry said, sighing, and hoisted himself up. He threw one last glance at Snape, and rushed out of the kitchen. In the hallway, he cast a Feather Light Feet Charm, and ran up the stairs. But as he reached the upstairs corridor, he realized going for his invisibility cloak was very predictable. He needed to do something Snape couldn\'t predict.

Harry looked around the hallway, and saw a door he was sure Snape wouldn\'t think to look behind.

Snape\'s bedroom.

He slipped inside the dark room, closed the door behind him quietly, and cast a Night Eyes Charm on himself. Then he leaned against the wall and waited, sure Snape wouldn\'t be able to sneak up on him now.

Time passed, more than a minute, and Harry didn\'t hear or see anything suspicious. And then a light shift in the air alerted him and he looked to his right. Snape apparated straight into the room.

\"Occaecare!\" Harry said, using the first curse that came to mind, followed three seconds later by Snape\'s, \"Torustitum!\"

\"I won!\" Harry yelled as his paralyzed body fell to the floor. \"I cast the first curse. I won!\"

\"Really?\" Snape, moving cautiously since Harry\'s Blinding Curse had hit him, crouched beside Harry. \"I think the purpose of these lessons is to immobilize your adversary.\" Snape reached down and pried Harry\'s wand from his limp hand. \"Tell me, Potter, who\'s immobilized? Who is in control?\"

\"Shit,\" Harry said, and wanted to kick himself. \"You\'re in control.\"

\"Exactly.\" Snape tapped both wands against his thigh. \"What on earth possessed you to cast a Blinding Curse on someone in a dark room? You already had darkness on your side. It was through your curse I could locate you so quickly, you foolish boy.\" Snape didn\'t sound so amused anymore.

\"I dunno. It was the first curse that came to mind.\"

Snape rolled his eyes. They glowed white in the darkness.

\"How did you find me?\" Harry asked. \"I was being unpredictable.\"

\"You were. However, you made one vital mistake.\"

\"What?\"

\"You turned your back to me.\"

\"Huh?\"

Snape inched closer, and placed the palm of his hand against Harry\'s cheek, his fingers resting on Harry\'s eyebrow. \"In the kitchen, you turned your back to me and gave me every opportunity to cast a Tracking Charm on you.\"

\"Oh, that\'s just...sneaky.\"

\"Stop frowning, Potter,\" Snape said, and Harry realized Snape could feel his expression. He relaxed his brow and tried not to notice how hot Snape\'s hand felt against his face.

\"Does it hurt? The curse?\" he asked, to distract himself from Snape\'s touch.

Snape shook his head. \"It only forces me to use different senses.\" Snape\'s fingers touched Harry\'s forehead. \"You\'re sweating,\" he said, his voice dropping to a whisper. \"And your lips are dry.\" Snape\'s palm brushed across Harry\'s mouth.

Harry swallowed, and remembered leaning against Snape in a dark hallway, and seeing Snape stroke himself to orgasm. He felt hot as arousal built in his chest and leaked down to his cock, hardening it.

Snape\'s fingers traveled down, touching his Adam\'s apple before resting just below his ear. \"Your pulse is racing. Is this bothering you?\"

\"No,\" Harry croaked. He felt helpless, knowing Snape was in complete control of him and could do anything he wanted. And Harry had to admit he very much liked the idea of Snape doing certain things to him.

\"Then why is your pulse this high?\" Snape moved his hand down Harry\'s chest, popped a button on his shirt, and slid his fingers under the fabric. Harry hissed when Snape\'s fingertips brush across his nipple. \"Your heartbeat is out of control. Can you tell me why?\"

\"Because you\'re touching me,\" Harry said, and he wished he could arch his back to feel more of Snape\'s touch on his nipple.

Snape\'s lips curled up. \"Do you enjoy being touched like this?\"

\"Yeah,\" Harry said, and bit his lip when Snape flicked a finger against his hard nipple.

\"Fascinating.\" Snape\'s fingers danced across Harry\'s buttons, pulling them open one by one until Harry\'s shirt fell open around him. Snape licked his thin lips, and stroked his hand down Harry\'s naked chest, and then let it rest under Harry\'s navel. \"And if I were to move my hand lower, Potter, what would I find?\"

\"Fuck,\" Harry gasped, trying to stare down his own body. \"My cock.\"

\"And is it hard?\"

\"Yeah.\"

\"Perhaps I should feel for myself.\" Snape tugged on Harry\'s trousers, making short work of the button and zipper.

\"Please.\" Harry strained against the curse, desperate to move, to do something to feel more of what Snape was doing.

\"Please what?\" Snape slid his fingers inside Harry\'s trousers, and splayed them open. He stilled his hand, and Harry wanted to yell at him to do more.

\"Please take this curse off.\"

One of Snape\'s fingers sneaked deeper inside Harry\'s trousers and touched the tip of Harry\'s cock through his boxers. \"I think this is a perfect lesson in control. It would be a waste to end it so soon.\"

Harry moved his head from left to right. It was the only part of his body he could move, and feeling Snape\'s fingertip leaning against his cock was driving him mad. \"Please take the curse off. I want to touch you, too.\"

Snape drew circles around the head of Harry\'s cock. \"So you want this to be about pleasure instead of knowledge?\"

\"I don\'t care what this is about. I just want you to touch me, there, and I want to touch you back. Fuck, please.

\"For your language alone I should keep you under this curse. This helpless looks suits you, Potter.\" Snape inched his hand under the waistband of Harry\'s boxers, and Harry\'s head shot up when Snape ran a finger along the side of Harry\'s hard flesh.

\"Oh god.\" Harry\'s mouth remained open around a soundless cry.

\"You\'re about to burst,\" Snape said, as though he were evaluating the properties of a potion. \"So hard, it must be painful by now.\" His finger teased the head of Harry\'s cock, smearing the moisture gathered at the slit around in lazy strokes.

\"Please, please, please,\" Harry moaned, and he knew he was begging, but he was too far gone to care. All he wanted was Snape to touch him, stroke him, drive him to his climax. All that mattered was Snape\'s hand and his cock.

\"Is this what you want?\" Snape curled two fingers around Harry\'s cock and stroked up and down once. \"Do you want me to make you come?\"

\"Yes, please.\"

Snape dropped the wands he was still holding, and grabbed Harry\'s wrist with his free hand. He raised it between his legs, and even though Harry\'s hand was limp, he felt Snape\'s erection press against his useless fingers.

\"And do you want to touch my cock? Do you want to make me come?\"

\"Oh yeah.\" Harry stared at his hand positioned between Snape\'s legs and willed his fingers to move. They didn\'t, of course, and he snapped his eyes shut when he felt Snape trace his fingers alongside Harry\'s cock again.

\"Then perhaps we should stop this foolish game and do things properly.\" Snape released Harry\'s hand and cock, and reached for his wand. \"Finite Incantatem.\"

Snape\'s spell didn\'t just end the Paralysis Curse, it also finished Harry\'s Night Eyes Charm, and he was surrounded by darkness. Even though he had control over his body back, Harry didn\'t dare move, and listened to his own panted breaths.

\"If you could return the favor,\" Snape said. It didn\'t sound as if he\'d moved.

Reaching beside him, Harry grabbed for his wand, and touched the tip to Snape\'s knee. \"Finite Incantatem.\"

\"Much obliged.\" Snape\'s rustling robes told Harry he straightened himself. A muttered spell later, a handful of candles were lit on Snape\'s bedside table. Harry blinked against the faint light.

\"Get up and undress.\" Snape, his eyes again dark and focused, stared down at Harry while he opened the buttons on his robes.

They were really doing this. They were getting naked together. That thought spurred Harry into action, his arousal and the promise of Snape touching him canceling any doubts he may have had. Besides, this development fit perfectly into his plan, even though Harry didn\'t find his plan all that important anymore as he got up, shrugged his shirt off, and watched Snape slide off his robes.

Harry toed off his shoes and socks, and pushed his trousers and boxers down, and then he was naked, exposed, his hard cock erect against his belly. Snape shed his shirt, trousers, underpants and boots, his expression not hinting at any embarrassment, and only his thick cock speaking of his arousal.

Licking his lips, Harry took in Snape\'s naked body. Tall and lean, pale skin glowing yellow in the flickering candlelight. Harry gathered his courage and reached out his hand, brushing his fingers against Snape\'s cock. It felt hot against his skin, and he traced the pulsing vein down the length until his fingers found Snape\'s tense sac. Snape\'s eyes fluttered, and it made Harry smile and rub his palm against Snape\'s balls, short, coarse hairs tickling his fingers.

Snape closed his hand around Harry\'s elbow, and Harry drew back to look up at Snape. \"On the bed,\" was all Snape said, but he might as well have suggested Harry cast a Killing Curse.

Doing things on a bed made them all the more real, so real it hit Harry with the force of a rogue Bludger. He was about to have sex with a Professor. He was about to have sex with Snape.

But wasn\'t that what he\'d wanted all along? Wasn\'t that what his plan was all about? Wasn\'t that what would get him his rightful revenge?

Somehow Harry thought their game had stopped being about revenge a long time ago.

\"Is there a problem?\" Snape asked when Harry didn\'t move.

Harry shook his head, unsure how to voice his hesitance. \"I\'ve never done something like this before,\" he said, before he could stop himself. He clenched his jaws.

\"I gather you didn\'t want me to know about your inexperience?\" Snape sounded amused. He stepped closer and wrapped his hand around Harry\'s cock. \"I\'d have discovered it soon enough,\" he whispered, pressing his naked flesh against Harry. \"Nothing tastes as sweet as innocence.\"

Gasping, Harry leaned his head back, and Snape attached his mouth to Harry\'s throat, lips and tongue kissing him so hard, for a moment Harry thought perhaps Snape really was a vampire and those rumors were true after all. Then teeth dragged down his sensitive skin, sending a bolt of electrifying arousal straight to Harry\'s cock. He felt Snape\'s cock press against his side, hot and throbbing, while Snape squeezed the base of Harry\'s erection.

\"Oh, yeah, bed,\" Harry breathed, thoughts of hard, helpless sex drowning out his earlier doubts. He saw a flash of Snape\'s smirk as Snape released him, and led him to the bed.

\"Lie down beside me.\" Snape lowered himself to the sheets, resting on his side. \"And take your glasses off.\"

Harry crawled onto the sheets, placed his glasses on the nightstand, and stretched out beside Snape, giving him an expectant look. He\'d seen so many things two men could do together in his magazines, and he wasn\'t sure what Snape had in mind or how far he was going to take this. Harry wanted to be touched, but there was touching and there was full-blown sex, and the latter sounded just a tad too intimidating.

\"Don\'t be shy now.\" Snape placed his hand on Harry\'s hip, urging him closer. Glancing down between their bodies, Harry scooted closer until the tip of his eager cock touched Snape\'s. Harry gasped at that odd yet satisfying sensation.

Snape lowered his hand until his fingers touched Harry\'s arse cheek, and he gave a pull, so Harry lay flush against Snape\'s body, their erections pressed together. He felt Snape\'s irregular breaths against his forehead.

\"Better,\" Snape whispered, and slid his leg over Harry\'s hip, tracing his hand up Harry\'s back until he\'d pinned Harry against him. \"How is this?\"

\"Good,\" Harry managed, his bottom lips trembling as he felt Snape\'s cock rub across his sac and prick. He inched his own leg between Snape\'s. \"Very good.\"

\"I thought so.\" Snape\'s fingers dug into the flesh between Harry\'s shoulder blades, and hesitantly, afraid to do something wrong, Harry wrapped his arm around Snape\'s side, finding leverage when he arched his back and bucked his hips, their cocks rubbing together.

Harry wanted to rest his forehead against Snape\'s shoulder, but Snape\'s hand disappeared from his back and closed around his chin. Harry wanted to close his eyes, give into that perfect feeling of his cock touching Snape\'s over and over again, but Snape\'s urgent voice stopped him.

\"Look at me, Potter. I want to see your eyes when you come.\"

\"God,\" Harry moaned, and stared into Snape\'s black eyes as they moved their bodies together, cocks urgent to find release. The tips of their noses touched, and for a moment Harry thought Snape was going to kiss him, but all Snape did was look at him, devour him with his black gaze until Harry was sure he\'d drown in the dark, bottomless ocean he saw in Snape\'s eyes.

His skin was slick with sweat, and it slid against Snape\'s equally slick skin, chests pressing hard together and cocks dragging up and down, sacs teasing against their thighs, and their legs a tangled mess.

It was the most brilliant thing Harry\'d ever done. It was better than flying, it was better than knocking Malfoy on his arse with a well-aimed hex.

Harry clung to Snape, surrendering to his grip, his hands, his cock, and all he could see was the black fire blazing in Snape\'s eyes, burning him to cinder, until those flames reached his sac, and Harry came with hot, wet spurts against Snape\'s flesh.

\"Oh god, yes, god yes,\" he moaned, forcing his eyes to stay open, because he was afraid he\'d lose the scorching sensation if he dared close his eyes. \"Fuck, yes,\" he breathed, his hips giving a few final jerks as the last of his climax was forced out of him by Snape\'s ruthless thrusts.

Snape released Harry\'s chin, and Harry buried his face against Snape\'s throat, feeling limp and yet not wanting to stop. Snape increased his pace, bucking against Harry with fast strokes of his prick, and Harry panted and thought he\'d go mad with the sensation of Snape\'s hard flesh torturing his spent cock.

Snape\'s hiss of breath against Harry\'s hair was the only warning he gave before climaxing, coating Harry\'s skin with his semen. Snape rode out his orgasm with slow, tired thrusts, and finally he stilled, and Harry slumped against him.

They lay together, arms and legs still holding each other close, and Harry wasn\'t sure if this was normal, if this was what people did after they had sex, and if what Snape and he had done really was sex.

He looked up at Snape, licking his dry lips, and stared as Snape stared at him. Snape\'s forehead was shining with sweat, and his normally pale cheeks were tainted with a slight, pink blush. Harry didn\'t want this, whatever it was, to end, and he tightened his arm around Snape\'s back.

And then Snape leaned closer and brushed his lips against Harry\'s, hesitantly, as if asking Harry for permission. Harry didn\'t draw back, even though his pulse sped up. He licked his lips again, and the moment his tongue drew back into his mouth, Snape crushed his lips to Harry\'s to chase it with his own tongue.

If Harry\'d thought their encounter couldn\'t have got any more intimate, he\'d been wrong. Snape\'s mouth devoured his, tongue brutal, and Harry gave as good as he had, trying to meet Snape\'s fast pace of lips and tongue.

Snape\'s hand tightened in Harry\'s hair, forcing his face even closer until Harry\'s lips felt bruised against Snape\'s teeth. Harry noticed Snape had closed his eyes, and he allowed himself to do the same, and surrendered to Snape a second time that evening.

Teeth drew back and lips became softer, and Harry realized they were kissing, really kissing, like lovers would. Slow, teasing strokes of their tongues, over and over again, wet and hot and so much better than Cho\'s kiss had ever felt. Harry thought perhaps this should disturb him, this intimate act with Snape, but it didn\'t. It felt almost as good as rubbing his cock against Snape\'s had felt.

They kissed and kissed and didn\'t stop for a long time. Snape\'s fingers stroked through Harry\'s hair, Snape\'s nose touched his own when they changed their angle, and Harry moved his lips with eager care, pulling back once in a teasing gesture, only to have Snape\'s teeth close around his bottom lip and draw him back in.

With a flick of his tongue against Harry\'s lips, Snape finally broke their kiss, and Harry blinked his eyes open. Snape\'s eyes were still black, but looked softer somehow, and Harry released a long, tired breath as he stared into them.

\"Get some sleep, Potter,\" Snape said, his voice hoarse, as if he\'d been screaming insults at his students all day.

That suggestion sounded very tempting, and Harry leaned his cheek against Snape\'s collarbone. They were still curled around each other, and Harry briefly wondered if falling asleep like this, spending the entire night in Snape\'s bed, made their experience even more real than it already was. But Harry was too exhausted to really care. He felt warm and sated, and the thought of leaving Snape\'s comfortable embrace made him shiver. He pressed closer, and closed his eyes, and let sleep sweep him away as he listened to Snape\'s calm heartbeat.


*~*~*~*~*


When Harry woke up, part of him was sure he\'d find Snape gone. Someone like Snape wouldn\'t want to be confronted with a teenager in his bed, even if they had done intimate things together. But as Harry blinked his eyes open, letting them get used to the dim light in the room, he saw Snape lying beside him, still asleep.

Sunlight invading around the edges of the curtains illuminated the room, casting them in shadows. They had untangled during the night, but Snape lay only inches away, and Harry was fascinated with Snape\'s still body and peaceful expression. He reached out and touched Snape\'s nipple, dark against his pale skin. It hardened under his fingertip, and Snape stirred.

It made Harry smile and feel devious, and he rubbed the nipple between his thumb and finger.

\"Potter. Still here, I see.\"

His heart skipping a beat, Harry glanced up, wondering if he shouldn\'t be there. Snape\'s eyes were open and his expression was slack with sleep.

\"I thought you\'d have run screaming from the room when waking up beside your vile Potions master.\" Snape\'s lips twitched, and he stretched his legs, and then draped his arm across Harry\'s waist. \"Surely the sight of me in the morning would be enough to make you see the error of your actions last night.\"

Harry frowned, staring at Snape. \"You are joking,\" he said, amazed Snape could do such a thing.

Snape\'s lips curled up into something that came very close to a smile. \"Indeed. It\'s far too early for any serious conversation. Now, be quiet. I want at least another half hour of undisturbed sleep.\" Snape closed his eyes and lay still, save for his fingers teasing Harry\'s lower back.

The idea of dozing beside Snape was tempting, but Harry was already far too awake. Besides, Snape\'s nipple still looked hard and inviting. Harry inched closer, and rubbed his thumb over it.

\"Potter,\" Snape said, his tone warning.

\"You want this.\"

Snape opened his eyes again, staring down at Harry with a curve of his eyebrow. \"And you know this how?\"

Grinning, Harry pinched Snape\'s nipple. \"Because you didn\'t run screaming from the room when you woke up beside me.\"

Snape snorted. \"Perhaps I should remind you this is my bedroom. I can still kick you out.\"

\"You won\'t.\" Harry leaned closer and flicked his tongue at Snape\'s nipple.

\"You\'re awfully sure of yourself, aren\'t you?\"

\"Yeah,\" Harry said, though he wasn\'t at all sure what he was doing. He was surprised he didn\'t feel more uncomfortable about waking up beside Snape, and about teasing Snape out of his sleep. He felt relaxed, and he didn\'t think he\'d woken up in such a good mood all summer.

Snape\'s fingers tightened in Harry\'s hair and pulled his head away from Snape\'s chest. \"What did I just say about undisturbed sleep?\" Snape glanced between their bodies, and grimaced. \"Clearly you forgot to cast a cleaning charm last night.\"

Harry looked down, too, and saw the dried and flaked come on both their bodies. \"Me? You told me to go to sleep.\"

\"I recall doing no such thing,\" Snape said with a stony face.

\"Liar,\" Harry muttered, and wormed his head from Snape\'s grip so he could attach his mouth to Snape\'s nipple again. He\'d read in one of his magazines nipples were particularly sensitive, and he just wanted to put his knowledge to the test. Or so he told himself as he worried the hard nub with his teeth.

\"Potter, enough. It\'s rather disturbing that one orgasm at my hands leads to such insolence on your behalf. I\'d expected more restraint from you.\"

Harry drew back and stared at Snape. He wasn\'t sure if Snape was still joking or not. He sounded very much like his usual self, which wasn\'t a joking matter at all.

\"Besides, I have no intention of having a repeat performance in this state.\" Snape sat up, stifled a yawn, and then rose from the bed. \"Time for a shower.\"

And with that Snape walked out of the room, leaving Harry to stare after him and wonder what he\'d done wrong. Perhaps Snape just wasn\'t a morning person. Or perhaps Snape had taken what he wanted from Harry and whatever was happening between them had just ended. That last thought sent a sharp pang through Harry\'s chest.

The bedroom door banged open again, and Snape\'s face came into view. \"That was an invitation to join me in the shower, you stupid boy.\"

\"Oh.\" Harry sat up and smiled while Snape disappeared again. Joining Snape in the shower sounded like a very good idea. Harry swung his legs over the side of the bed, and automatically reached for his morning erection. It was painful, since he needed to piss like a hippogriff, so he released it again, and made his way to the bathroom to do just that.

As he stepped inside the bathroom, Harry was met with one of the most surrealistic scenes he\'d ever encountered.

Snape, standing naked at the sink, brushing his teeth with a purple toothbrush.

Harry couldn\'t help himself; he stood in the doorway and stared.

Plucking the toothbrush from his mouth, Snape glanced at him. \"Is something the matter?\"

\"No.\" Harry walked towards the sink as casually as he could that early in the day. \"It\'s just, you look so normal. I hadn\'t expected that.\"

Snape snorted, and turned on the tap to clean his toothbrush and rinse his mouth. \"Really, Potter, had you expected me to be anything else than human? If you cut me, do I not bleed?\"

\"Huh?\"

\"And here I thought you were raised by Muggles,\" Snape said, sounding bored, and he turned to glare at Harry. And Harry noticed something he hadn\'t seen in Snape\'s shadowy bedroom.

On one side of Snape\'s head, the one he\'d slept on, Snape\'s oily hair had bunched together and stood up wildly, like the branches of the Whomping Willow.

Harry tried to control himself, he really did, but he couldn\'t stop from bursting out in laughter. He laughed so hard he had to grab the sink with one hand and curl his other arm around himself.

\"What on earth triggered this juvenile behavior?\" Snape asked, indignantly.

\"Your hair,\" Harry gasped, making a vague gesture with his hand, \"is sticking up.\"

Snape looked as though he wasn\'t sure whether to join Harry\'s laughter or hex Harry to tiny bits. Harry tried to stop laughing, but he couldn\'t, and he reached the point where he got trouble breathing. Then Snape\'s fingers clenched around the top of Harry\'s head and forced Harry to look into the mirror.

If Snape\'s hair looked like the Whomping Willow, Harry\'s hair looked like he\'d been electrocuted during the night. It stood up on all ends, and Harry immediately snapped his mouth shut and stopped laughing.

\"Indeed,\" Snape said, and smirked. \"Do try to control yourself.\"

Harry studied his reflection, and noticed his lips. They were swollen and looked slightly bruised. \"God, what happened to my mouth?\"

\"I kissed you,\" Snape said matter-of-factly, reaching for a small leather purse. \"I\'d demonstrate it again to remind you, but your breath smells as though a puffskein crawled in your mouth last night and died there. I suggest you brush your teeth.\"

His cheeks flushing, Harry reached for his toothbrush, and set about brushing his teeth. He watched Snape open the purse and take out an old-fashioned razor, a shaving brush, and a small, metal soap dispenser. Snape brushed a thumb across the stubble on his chin, looked at himself critically in the mirror, and moistened the shaving brush. He lathered it, and soaped up his cheeks, chin and throat.

And Harry, already finished with his task of cleaning his teeth, couldn\'t tear his gaze away from Snape. Until Snape met his eyes in the mirror.

\"I...er...need to pee,\" Harry said, saying the first thing that came to mind, and then he wondered why those always were the dumbest things he could possibly say.

\"I\'m sure you\'re intelligent enough to locate the toilet on your own,\" Snape said, and started maneuvering the razor across his throat.

Right. Apparently Snape had no problem with Harry peeing while in the same room. Harry did manage to locate the toilet, and as he relieved himself, he wondered if this was normal for people who\'d done intimate things. Who\'d had some sort of sex together. After he was done, Harry joined Snape at the sink again.

\"Aren\'t there spells for that?\" Harry asked, remembering how Seamus had demonstrated one to Dean last year.

\"There are, but they are far from comfortable. I prefer to shave manually.\" Snape rinsed his razor under the water, and continued shaving his chin.

\"Ah,\" Harry said, looking at his own face in the mirror. \"I didn\'t know that.\"

\"I assume you don\'t shave yet?\"

\"No,\" Harry said, and it made him feel incredibly young to admit that. He ran a finger under his nose. \"There\'s not much there to shave. Ron told me he needs to shave twice a week already.\"

\"That\'s hardly cause for concern. I didn\'t start shaving daily until I was almost seventeen.\"

\"Yeah, you\'re not a real hairy type, are you?\" Harry said, eying Snape\'s chest. It was mostly hairless, save for a patch leading down from his navel to his crotch.

\"And neither are you. Nor will you ever be, is my guess.\"

\"I think I like that.\"

\"So do I,\" Snape said, and wiped a towel over his face. Harry watched him and wondered if Snape had just reassured him. And if Snape had just said he liked something about Harry. And what had happened to the real Snape and who that man standing beside him could possibly be. They\'d had a normal, friendly conversation. Something Harry had never thought Snape was capable of. Or that he was capable of with Snape.

\"Ready for that shower, Potter?\"

Harry focused his eyes on Snape. \"Yeah,\" he said, and followed Snape to the shower stall. Snape turned on the taps, and stepped under the warm spray. A moment later, Harry joined him, sighing at the feeling of water washing away old sweat and dried come. Then he noticed how close they were standing. Snape\'s elbow brushed Harry\'s shoulder as he ran a hand through his wet hair, and Harry remembered the feeling of Snape\'s hands on him and Snape\'s cock against his.

Harry\'s cock, which had wilted, sprang back to life, taking an immediate interest in the situation. Snape noticed this, and ran a teasing finger down Harry\'s chest, stopping an inch above Harry\'s hardening flesh.

\"You said something about a repeat performance,\" Harry tried, hoping he didn\'t sound too desperate.

\"Indeed I did,\" Snape said, sliding his arm around Harry\'s waist to pull him closer. \"Touch me.\"

Snape didn\'t need to elaborate any further for Harry to understand perfectly what he meant. Harry touched his fingers to Snape\'s cock, which hardened against his palm, and then Harry curled his fingers around it and stroked. He felt Snape\'s hand close over his own prick, and he wrapped his free arm around Snape to steady himself.

\"Squeeze a bit harder,\" Snape said, and Harry did as he glanced up at Snape. He stared into Snape\'s eyes, fluttering his eyelids against the water raining down on them, and felt his knees buckle as Snape fisted his cock faster.

\"Very good,\" Snape whispered, and leaned his head down, claiming Harry\'s lips in a kiss. And Harry returned it, closing his eyes so he only felt what Snape was doing to him. Firm lips moved over Harry\'s sensitive mouth, and a slick tongue invaded it. Harry teased it with his own tongue, tasting toothpaste and water and something arousing that was Snape.

He stroked Snape\'s cock faster, and felt Snape do the same to his prick. Their bodies pressed together, wet and warm, and their arms bumped and cocks touched, and Harry kept his mouth locked with Snape\'s, unwilling to lose the feeling of Snape kissing him as though he never wanted to release him again.

Harry couldn\'t hold off his climax for long, not while Snape worked his cock with expert strokes. His legs trembled and barely kept him upright, so Harry tightened his arm around Snape and came with a shudder. His release coated Snape\'s hand before the water washed it away.

\"No control whatsoever,\" Snape said against Harry\'s lips, though there was little malice behind his words. Harry was forced to agree with him as he tried to stay on his feet. When his orgasm had passed, he remembered he had Snape\'s cock in his hand, and he resumed stroking and squeezing as best as he could.

His mouth seeking Snape\'s again in a kiss, Harry concentrated on the feeling of touching Snape\'s cock. Definitely different than stroking himself. Far more arousing. Their kiss was gentler now, and Snape appeared to have a talent for holding his climax off, so much so, Harry\'s wrist threatened to give up. Harry tried to communicate through his lips and tongue he wanted Snape to come, and Snape, after evading Harry\'s urgent tongue a few times, gave in.

Snape\'s cock pulsed, and Harry stroked faster and squeezed tighter, and heard Snape\'s sharp intake of breath through his nose. Then hot semen spurted over his hand, and Harry felt Snape relax against him. Harry drew back from their kiss, released Snape\'s spent cock, and looked at Snape.

\"I assume that was properly satisfying?\" Snape asked, a lazy drawl to his voice.

\"Oh yeah. Very satisfying,\" Harry said, offering Snape what he knew was a really dumb grin.

\"Good. Then I trust you\'ll have no problems keeping your mind focused on your work the rest of the day. We\'ll start brewing Veritaserum today.\" Snape released Harry, took a small step back, and reached for his bar of soap.

\"Veritaserum?\" Harry asked, feeling quite intimidated by the idea of brewing that potion.

\"Hmm.\" Snape lathered his chest and ran the bar of soap over his softening cock. \"I\'ll assist you, since it\'s a delicate potion to brew.\"

Harry was relieved to hear that, but tried not to show it. He grabbed his bottle of shampoo, and got an idea. \"Why don\'t you use this? I used your soap yesterday.\"

\"Five points from Gryffindor for daring to suggest I use that ridiculous concoction.\"

Snorting, Harry poured a generous dollop of shampoo on his own hair, and ignored Snape\'s disgusted look.

\"Fruity, isn\'t it?\" he said with a bright smile he knew would annoy Snape.

\"Yes, almost as fruity as you are, Potter.\" Snape stepped out from under the spray, and grabbed a towel. \"Meet me for breakfast downstairs. And don\'t dawdle. We have much work to do.\" Snape wrapped the towel around his waist and left the bathroom.

Their time for play had ended, Harry thought, and he rinsed his hair, trying to ignore the pang of disappointment he felt. After finishing his shower, Harry returned to his own bedroom, and found his clothes, glasses and wand lying on his bed.

Sighing, he sat down and toweled his hair dry. This was the first occasion he\'d got that morning to think about what had happened.

A lot had happened. And it had been a much better experience than Harry\'d thought it would be. He\'d enjoyed doing those things with Snape quite a bit. And if he were really honest with himself, he\'d loved everything about it. He\'d loved feeling Snape against him and acting so comfortably around Snape and exchanging playful banter with Snape and --

Harry noticed the picture of Sirius he kept on his nightstand. A young Sirius, at his parents\' wedding, grinned and waved at him, and Harry felt a cold wave of guilt wash over him.

What had he been thinking? How could he love doing anything with the man who\'d got Sirius killed?

Harry threw the damp towel to his bed and bit his lip. He\'d got carried away, that was it. He was young and horny, so it wasn\'t a surprise he\'d enjoyed feeling a hand around his cock.

But he had a plan to stick to. And he was stupid for ever losing sight of it, just because Snape happened to be a really good kisser.


*~*~*~*~*


After breakfast – which had been as quiet and methodical as the rest of their shared meals – Harry followed Snape down to the cellar. Surrounded by cauldrons and mysterious potions ingredients, Snape looked very much like the Potions master he\'d always been. There wasn\'t anything left of the teasing, mild man Harry\'d woken up next to that morning.

Which was probably for the best, Harry reasoned. It made it easier to forget how much he\'d liked the things he\'d done with Snape.

\"Get the proper ingredients out, Potter.\"

There. That sounded a lot like the Snape Harry was familiar with. That sounded like the bastard who\'d sent Sirius to his death.

\"Pay attention!\"

\"Yes, sir,\" Harry said, and opened his box. He placed the instructions for Veritaserum on the table, and sorted through the bottles and vials to get the ingredients he needed. Then he grabbed an empty cauldron and hung it over the fire.

\"Potter!\" Snape sounded impatient. \"I don\'t know why I even bother to try to teach you anything when you can\'t even follow simple instructions!\"

Harry was taken aback; he hadn\'t even started brewing yet and already Snape was yelling at him. He studied the instructions again.

\"Oh,\" he said, when he read Snape\'s first sentence under the ingredients list. He took the cauldron off the fire. \"It says it needs to be brewed in the shell of a fire crab.\"

Snape gasped in mock surprise. \"Really?\"

Despite his mild annoyance, Harry snickered at Snape\'s theatrics. \"Sorry, sir. I just assumed -- \"

\"Ah!\" Snape stalked closer to Harry. \"That\'s where you went wrong. When brewing potions, you never assume anything. You follow instructions. You make sure you\'re always reading one sentence ahead in your instructions, so you won\'t accidentally assume anything and destroy your work.\"

\"Yes, sir,\" Harry said, and thought that was actually pretty good advice. Something Snape should have told him in his first year. It would have saved Harry a great deal of messed up potions. \"So now I need the shell of a fire crab. Do I have one?\"

\"No, but I do,\" Snape said, and reached under the table. He produced a pearly-black shell, the size of a large Quaffle, covered with red, yellow and blue gemstones.

\"Wow,\" Harry said in true admiration.

\"This is very expensive and very rare,\" Snape said, lowering the shell to the table with care. \"If you drop it, I will break your neck, understood?\"

Harry nodded. He had no doubt Snape meant what he said.

\"Good, now place it over the fire and carry on with the instructions.\"

Putting his hands around the shell gently, Harry turned towards the fire and prayed he wouldn\'t drop the shell. He managed to place it over the flames without breaking it, and he released a deep breath. Then he studied the next three sentences on the parchment. He needed 100 grams of jobberknoll feathers, and he had to boil them in half a liter of dragon blood. He grabbed the jar of feathers.

\"And that\'s 100 grams exactly, Potter,\" Snape said, standing on the other side of the table, observing Harry\'s every move. \"Not 99, not 101, but 100 grams.\"

\"Yes, sir.\" Harry weighed the feathers on his brass scale, and added them to the heated shell. Then he measured half a liter of dragon blood, and added that as well.

\"It needs to boil for three hours, and you should reduce the heat by ten percent every half hour until it simmers,\" Snape said, as Harry gazed at the parchment, nodding. \"You\'ll find the correct spell to do so in your instructions. You can now carry on with slicing the clabbert spleen.\"

\"Right.\" Harry looked at the shell to make sure the mixture was boiling. It was, and it smelled something awful, like rotting fruit. \"Who comes up with this stuff?\"

\"Hmm?\" Snape replied vaguely.

Harry reached for the jar of clabbert spleens. \"I mean, who invents this stuff? And how do they invent it?\"

\"All these ingredients have magical properties. It\'s a matter of experimentation.\"

\"I get that,\" Harry said, grabbing his knife to cut the spleen. \"But how do you decide what to experiment with? Do you think, oh what a lovely little magical bird, let me pluck it and put its feathers in the shell of a fire crab and then add dragon blood and see what happens and hope it won\'t explode in my face and give me nasty third-degree burns.\"

Snape gave a snort of laughter, and it was such a foreign sound, Harry dropped his knife in surprise. Snape steadied himself and looked at Harry with amused eyes.

\"Inventing potions is a process of trial and error. And, in some cases, death or glory.\"

Harry considered that. \"Have you ever invented a potion?\"

\"I have fabricated a few antidotes in the past, yes.\"

\"Really?\" Harry was impressed. \"That sounds difficult.\"

Snape\'s lips tugged up into a smirk. \"It\'s not when you\'ve invented the poisons first.\"

Staring at Snape with his mouth opened, Harry wasn\'t sure what to say in response.

\"You\'ll be brewing a few of them later this week,\" Snape said, and narrowed his eyes as he looked down at Harry\'s hands. \"For Merlin\'s sake, boy, the instructions say slice the spleen, not butcher it!\"

Harry bit his lip and observed the bloody mess on the table in front of him.

\"Here, let me show you.\" Snape rounded the table, and stopped right behind Harry. He stood so close, Harry felt Snape\'s body against his own, and he was instantly haunted by memories of the previous night.

Snape shoved the mauled spleen to the side, and grabbed a fresh one. \"Slicing is all in the wrist, Potter.\" He closed his hands over Harry\'s, and Harry was reminded of the way Snape\'s hand had closed over his cock. And his cock remembered, too, and hardened in his trousers.

\"Move your wrist up and down, yes, just like that,\" Snape said, his voice lowering as his breath tickled Harry\'s ear. He guided Harry\'s hands, and all Harry could think of was Snape\'s hand moving up and down over his cock.

Licking his lips, Harry glanced to the side, his face suddenly very close to Snape\'s. He was going by instinct now, and his instinct – or perhaps it was his cock, he couldn\'t be sure – told him this was the perfect opportunity to kiss Snape. So he did.

Harry pressed his mouth to Snape\'s, and darted the tip of his tongue out to lick Snape\'s bottom lip. After a moment of hesitation, Snape parted his lips and allowed Harry access. As soon as Harry felt Snape\'s tongue teasing his own, he dropped the knife and rubbed his fingers against Snape\'s hands, their skin slick with blood.

A soft caress of lips and a teasing stroke of tongue later, Snape broke their kiss. He licked his lips, and Harry mimicked him, though more reluctantly. He wasn\'t sure if Snape would get angry for this.

\"Who\'d have thought handling a blood-soaked spleen destroys what little control you have, Potter,\" Snape said, his voice teasing.

Harry smiled. \"I\'m sixteen, sir. Handling anything while you\'re pressing your cock against me turns me on.\"

\"I see.\" Snape pressed a little closer, and Harry felt something hard dig into his lower back. \"But I thought we\'d discussed this already.\"

\"Yeah,\" Harry sighed. \"A time for work and a time for play. I don\'t suppose you can make another exception?\"

\"Not when you\'re brewing a potion as delicate as Veritaserum. Play can wait until later. I suggest you keep your attention on your work, unless you want to slice your fingers off. That knife is spelled to stay razor sharp.\"

\"All right.\" Harry brushed his nose and lips across Snape\'s throat one last time, to inhale his scent, and then turned his attention back to the table. Snape released him, but stood by his side, and Harry continued slicing the spleen, heeding Snape\'s advice. The cold guilt he\'d felt earlier was gone, replaced by the heated promise of play later. It was hard for Harry to remember his plan when he felt Snape\'s body beside him and he tasted Snape on his lips.


*~*~*~*~*


Harry waited until Snape was done with his supper and placed his knife and fork down. Then Harry cast a spell to start the dishes. Snape had cooked, again, and he\'d made stew, again. Other than that, Harry\'s day had gone by well. They\'d brewed his potion in the morning, then they\'d relocated to the library to practice more defensive charms and minor curses, and they\'d ended their afternoon with a successful Occlumency lesson.

And now it was time for another defense lesson, and Harry remembered quite well what had happened at the end of that lesson the night before. Snape had mentioned play time that morning, and Harry hoped he\'d keep his word on that.

\"Sir?\"

\"Yes?\"

\"Well, you\'ve been cooking since you arrived here, and it doesn\'t seem fair that you should do all the work, so I can cook supper tomorrow. I really don\'t mind doing it.\"

Snape leaned back in his chair and observed Harry with a calculated gaze. \"Or you could just tell me you don\'t like my stew.\"

\"I do like your stew!\" Harry said quickly. Too quickly, judging by Snape\'s curved eyebrow. \"Honestly, it\'s a nice stew. It\'s just that eating it every day seems a bit monotonous.\"

\"So that\'s the problem,\" Snape said, sounding satisfied. \"A simple, wholesome meal isn\'t good enough for Harry Potter. You expect a five course dinner. You\'re in for a disappointment then, Potter. I have no desire to pamper you with special food like your Muggle relatives do. Here you eat what\'s being served.\"

Harry stared at Snape, and then let out a snort of strangled laughter. \"God, you have no idea,\" he said, shaking his head. \"Never mind,\" he added, softer. \"Your stew is good enough for me.\"

That reply didn\'t seem to please Snape, and he leaned forward, fixing Harry to his chair with his dark eyes. \"You\'re an abysmal Potions student, Potter. What reason do I have to assume you can cook, and that you won\'t burn down this kitchen and the house with it?\"

Harry looked away, staring down at the table top while he tried to reign in the hot flare of anger that coursed through his body. \"I have been cooking three meals a day since I was eight. My aunt forced me, and I can tell you it was very much a process of trial and error, and in some cases it came close to death or glory, so you can rest assured I won\'t burn down this bloody kitchen.\"

\"Well,\" Snape said, crossing his arms. \"If that is where your talents lie, then by all means, tomorrow this kitchen is yours.\"

\"Fine,\" Harry snapped, crossing his arms as well.

\"Fine what?\"

\"Fine, sir.\" Harry suddenly found it hard to remember what he liked about Snape.

\"Do try to be mature about this,\" Snape said, as though all the blame lay with Harry. \"There are rules in this house. One of them is that you\'ll address me as \'sir\'.\"

Harry lost it. He jumped up from his seat. \"Five points from Slytherin, sir, for being such a fucking blind, ignorant bastard!\" He ran out of the kitchen before Snape could respond and slammed the door shut with a bang.

He decided he might as well go down to the cellar; it was about time to add the powdered mimosa roots to his potion. Inside the workroom, Harry inspected the potion which simmered over the fire, checked the instructions again, and added the roots. He stirred the potion carefully, and watched it turn from a dark-red to a light-yellow.

\"Slower, Potter, or you\'ll ruin it.\"

Harry didn\'t look up, but did what Snape told him. \"You can start yelling at me now, sir. Or why not give me a detention? Let me clean these tables and the floor without magic. You always seem keen on that.\"

\"That won\'t be necessary,\" Snape said, crossing the room until he stood beside Harry. \"I\'m rather amused, actually. You\'re the first student who\'s ever dared try to take points from me. I found it most refreshing.\"

\"Yeah, well, you deserved it,\" Harry muttered, lifting the ladle from the potion.

\"You think? I\'m not the one who once again let his tongue be ruled by his emotions.\"

Harry clenched his jaws and said nothing.

\"Until now, I could always rely on insulting your friends. I suppose I can add mentioning your relatives to that list of things that will make you lose your control.\"

Finally, Harry glanced up at Snape with a frown.

\"And I will continue to insult your friends and mention your relatives until you learn to keep your control,\" Snape said, his voice soft and strangely reasonable.

\"Wait, what, you were testing me?\" Harry asked, confused.

\"You can call it testing. I call it just another lesson you need to learn.\"

Harry blinked. Snape had been goading him on purpose. That bastard. But knowing why Snape had done it made Harry feel better.

\"You are a spoiled, nasty little boy,\" Snape whispered in Harry\'s ear. \"You are a pathetic excuse for a wizard. You are a freak.\"

Harry dropped the ladle he\'d been holding, fury boiling in his chest.

\"Take it, Potter. Don\'t lose your control,\" Snape said, and slid his arm around Harry\'s waist. \"You are a proper harlot, the way you were begging me to touch your cock last night.\"

\"Fuck,\" Harry said, squeezing his eyes shut. \"Fuck, this is hard.\"

\"Breathe. Focus on your breathing. Focus on your body. Don\'t let it get tense.\" Snape pulled Harry against his chest, and brushed his lips over Harry\'s cheek down to his throat. \"You don\'t deserve the attention of your friends. You don\'t deserve having people fawning over you.\"

Harry leaned his forehead against Snape\'s shoulder and inhaled deep, shaky breaths. Snape rubbed his hands over Harry\'s back, placing soft kisses just below Harry\'s ear.

\"Do you really believe I\'ll ever let you in my Potions class next year, Potter? A stupid boy like you, who can\'t even brew a sleeping draught without his professor holding his hand? No, I\'m going to use you to brew me potions all summer, and then I\'ll happily dispose of you like yesterday\'s newspaper.\"

Gasping, Harry snapped his gaze up. Snape sounded dead serious when he\'d said that.

\"Breathe, Potter,\" Snape said with a faint smirk. \"You\'re easier to rile than a nesting dragon.\"

\"But how am I supposed to stay calm when you insult me like that?\" Harry worried his lip, feeling the anger flow away now that Snape was quiet and looked at him with a passive gaze. \"I bet you can\'t stay calm when I insult you.\"

\"A challenge, Potter?\"

\"Yeah,\" Harry said, grinning. He felt better already. \"I bet you can\'t stay calm when I do that to you.\"

Snape sneered. \"Give it your best shot. Don\'t hold back.\"

\"All right. But you can\'t take points for anything I\'m about to say.\"

\"You have my word.\"

Harry\'s grin grew wider, and he slid one arm around Snape\'s neck, getting comfortable against Snape\'s body. \"You are ugly. Seriously ugly. You have a huge nose and your hair is greasy.\"

Snape looked bored. \"Come, Potter, you can do better than that.\"

Snickering, Harry thought about what else he could use. \"And you\'re a horrible teacher. You\'re by far the worst teacher I\'ve ever had. You\'re even worse than Lockhart, and he was a complete moron.\"

Snape tilted his head, still looking bored. His breathing hadn\'t sped up one bit. Harry raised his hand and pressed his fingers to the pulse point on Snape\'s throat. Snape\'s heartbeat was slow and regular.

\"You\'re a Death Eater. I bet you\'d love to hand me over to Voldemort.\" Harry felt a tiny increase of Snape\'s pulse at the mention of Voldemort, and he remembered Snape didn\'t like hearing that name. So, naturally, Harry decided to use it again.

\"I bet you enjoyed torturing and killing people for Voldemort. I bet you enjoyed letting Voldemort fuck you. Is that why you joined him?\"

Snape\'s pulse suddenly went through the roof, and Harry snapped his mouth shut. Then Snape inhaled one deep breath, and his heartbeat returned to normal. Harry bit his lip and wondered if he\'d gone too far.

\"Is that all, Potter?\" Snape asked.

\"Yeah, think so.\"

\"If you hadn\'t felt my pulse, would you have known any of my private reactions to your insults?\"

Harry thought about that. Snape\'s face had remained impassive, even at the mention of Voldemort. \"No, I don\'t think so. How did you stay so calm?\"

\"Because, Potter, hearing the truth hardly upsets me.\"

Harry felt as if someone had just slushed a bucket of ice water down the back of his shirt. He averted his eyes, lowering his face, but Snape placed a finger under his chin and tipped his head up.

\"It\'s when people lie to me or little boys decide to ignore the rules that I get angry,\" Snape said, and brushed his lips across Harry\'s. That touch was familiar and soothing, and Harry decided not to think about the truth behind some of the things he\'d said. He\'d known for a long time Snape had been a Death Eater. To think the man had never done any horrible things in his life was ignorant. Harry just didn\'t want to know about it.

Snape slid his tongue between Harry\'s lips, and Harry allowed him to deepen their kiss. He closed his eyes and sagged against Snape as Snape swept his tongue through Harry\'s mouth. Then Snape pulled back and glanced down at Harry with a small curve of his lips; it came close to a smile.

\"We have one more lesson this evening,\" Snape said in his teacher voice.

\"Yeah. Will there be play time after that?\" Harry asked, feeling bold because Snape had just kissed him.

\"Oh yes. In fact, I think perhaps we should add a new rule to your defense lesson.\"

\"What rule?\"

\"Or more of a reward. For the winner. Perhaps that will motivate you to try harder.\"

Harry snorted. \"What\'s the reward?\"

\"Perhaps the loser can perform fellatio on the winner,\" Snape said, his eyes narrowing in amusement.

Harry\'s mind stayed blank while he tried to think what that word meant. \"What?\"

\"Fellatio, Potter,\" Snape said, shaking his head. \"Oral pleasure. A blow job.\"

\"Oh.\" Harry\'s eyes widened. \"You mean, when I win, you\'ll give me a blow job?\"

\"If you win, then yes, I\'ll do just that. Of course, when I win, I expect you to do the same for me.\"

\"I can do that. I think.\" Harry grinned, excitement tickling his insides. His cock quite liked Snape\'s suggestion as well. It gave an enthusiastic twitch in Harry\'s trousers. \"All right.\"

\"Good. You have one minute.\" Snape released Harry, stepping away from him. Harry almost wanted to turn his back to Snape, but then he remembered last night. So he skipped out of the room sideways, keeping an eye on Snape, who seemed amused by Harry\'s odd pace.

Inside the hallway, Harry realized he had to be unpredictable again. Going upstairs was predictable by now, so Harry slipped inside the library. He extinguished the lights, cast a Night Eyes Charm on himself, and then cast an Intruder Charm on the door. Snape had taught him that charm earlier, and it would warn Harry for any intruders coming through the doorway.

Then he waited, keeping the Paralysis Curse ready on the tip of his tongue. He didn\'t want to make the same mistake as last night. He wanted to win this round. The idea of Snape sucking his cock, just like he\'d done in that memory Harry\'d seen, was perhaps one of the most arousing things Harry\'d ever heard.

The Intruder Charm gave a sharp, beeping noise as the door opened. \"Torustitum!\" Harry yelled, aiming his wand at the figure sneaking inside the room. But Harry\'s curse never hit Snape.

Snape cast some sort of Shield Charm, though it was much brighter than any Shield Charm Harry\'d ever seen, like sunlight reflecting in a mirror. The red flash of light from Harry\'s curse bounced off it, and flew towards Harry with twice as much speed. The curse hit Harry in his chest.

\"Bugger!\" he yelled as he slumped to the floor. \"What was that?\"

\"That, Mr Potter, was a Mirror Shield Charm,\" Snape said, advancing on Harry. \"I gather you\'re not familiar with it.\"

\"No. Just the normal Shield Charm.\"

\"This one is far more powerful. It reflects any spell back towards the caster. It\'s also far more difficult to learn than the normal Shield Charm.\" Snape crouched beside Harry. \"Good work on the Intruder Charm.\"

Harry smiled at Snape\'s compliment, even though he\'d lost yet another round and that was nothing to smile about. \"Will you teach me the Mirror Shield Charm?\"

\"In due time, yes. It takes a lot of power. I want you to practice other charms first.

\"You just don\'t want me to win,\" Harry said, keeping his tone teasing.

Snape smirked. \"I just want to collect on my reward. You do remember our new rule, don\'t you?\"

\"Oh yeah,\" Harry said. He remembered that rule quite well. He had lost. He now had to give Snape a blow job. He had to suck Snape\'s cock. The room became just a couple of degrees warmer, Harry thought, and he felt sweat break out on his forehead.

\"Good.\" Snape got up, sat down in one of the leather chairs, his knees falling open, and aimed his wand at Harry. \"Finite Incantatem.\"

The room went dark and Harry regained control over his body. He felt around him as he sat up. \"Sir? Can you turn on the lights?\"

\"No,\" came Snape\'s voice from his left. \"You\'ll have to use your other senses. Think of it as another lesson.\"

Harry crawled towards Snape\'s voice, inch by inch, until he felt the toe of Snape\'s boot against his fingers. \"You want me to...er...now?\"

\"Yes, Potter. Right now.\"

Sitting up, Harry felt up Snape\'s legs until he found Snape\'s knees, and heaved a sigh. Then he wormed himself between Snape\'s legs, brushing his hands up Snape\'s thighs. He was surrounded by Snape now. Surrounded by his body heat, his scent, his legs. So much to feel in the darkness around him.

Harry slid his hands further up, and felt hard, hot flesh. He drew back, startled. It seemed Snape had prepared for Harry\'s task. The sound of Snape\'s chuckles drifted around Harry.

Right. He could do this. He\'d seen it in his magazines. It hadn\'t seemed too difficult. Just wrap your mouth around it and start sucking. Harry licked his lips, moved his fingers until they found Snape\'s hard cock again, and lowered his head. Snape\'s cock twitched against his fingers, and Harry inhaled the heavy scent of musk, arousal. He pulled the foreskin back and brushed his lips across the glans. Smooth. Moist. And when Harry darted his tongue out, he tasted a tiny, bitter drop of precome.

\"Watch your teeth,\" Snape said, his voice composed as ever. Harry felt Snape\'s hand brush through his hair and rest on top of his head. \"Take it in as far as you can.\"

Parting his lips, Harry sucked the head of Snape\'s cock inside his mouth. It felt hot against his tongue. Harry stroked the base of Snape\'s cock with his fingers, and sucked in more of Snape\'s length.

\"That\'s it,\" Snape said. Harry thought he sounded just a tad breathless. \"More.\" Snape\'s hand pushed down lightly on Harry\'s head.

Harry pushed Snape\'s trousers open further until he found Snape\'s sac. He squeezed it in time with his strokes around Snape\'s cock, and drew more of the hard flesh into his mouth. Then he started sucking, guiding his tongue up and down over Snape\'s cock, his head bobbing up and down. Snape\'s fingers tightened in his hair while Snape released a throaty sigh.

Harry liked what he was doing. It felt incredibly intimate to suck Snape\'s cock, to feel that throbbing flesh against his tongue. The darkness around him helped with that feeling, he knew. There was nothing but the smell of Snape\'s arousal and Snape\'s cock sliding in and out his mouth.

Snape released another sigh, more guttural this time, and Harry smiled around Snape\'s cock. He sucked harder, stroked harder, teased Snape\'s sac against his palm, and let Snape guide his head up and down, let Snape keep control over him, let Snape use him, use his mouth.

Harry\'s cock was rock hard and rubbed against his trousers. It drew a moan from him, and he shifted on his knees, trying to find a better position.

\"Don\'t you dare touch yourself,\" Snape said. He definitely sounded breathless now. \"I\'ll take care of you later.\"

That promise renewed Harry\'s enthusiasm, and he sucked until his cheeks hollowed and the head of Snape\'s cock bumped against the back of his throat. Snape felt so big in his mouth, so powerful, and Harry had to admit he loved that feeling.

\"Yes, almost,\" Snape breathed, his voice soft and unfamiliar. \"Almost.\"

Snape\'s cock pulsed, and Harry sucked it in even deeper, and then his mouth was flooded with Snape\'s bitter release. For a second, Harry wasn\'t sure what to do, but he decided to keep sucking and swallowing, since Snape hadn\'t told him to do something else. The taste of Snape\'s semen was heady and stained Harry\'s tongue, but he didn\'t mind. He liked that he\'d sucked Snape off, that he\'d made Snape come like that.

\"Potter,\" Snape said, when he\'d spurted the last of his come down Harry\'s throat. \"Enough.\"

Harry released Snape\'s cock with a soft pop, licked his lips, and sat back, wondering if it had been good for Snape.

\"Come here,\" Snape tugged on Harry\'s shirt, urged him up, and Harry climbed up until he sat in Snape\'s lap, straddling him.

\"Was it good?\" he asked hesitantly.

\"That was your first time, am I right?\" Snape asked, voice again composed.

\"Yeah.\"

\"Your skill needs improvement, but your enthusiasm certainly was inspiring.\" Snape cupped the back of Harry\'s neck and drew him closer for a kiss.

\"You liked it?\" Harry kissed Snape, smiling against his lips.

\"Yes, Potter, I liked it.\" There was amusement in Snape\'s voice, and Harry rubbed himself against Snape\'s chest, kissing him again.

\"I liked it, too,\" he whispered, as if sharing a secret. \"I liked it a lot.\"

\"Good. I suspect you\'ll be doing a lot of this, in the coming days.\"

\"I\'ll win,\" Harry said, affronted. \"Soon. And then you can suck my cock.\"

\"We\'ll see.\" Snape gave him another kiss, teasing his tongue against Harry\'s lips. \"I think you had a problem that needs attending.\" Snape\'s hand slid down Harry\'s chest, and tugged the front of his trousers open. Then thin, strong fingers found Harry\'s erection and released it from his trousers.

\"God, yeah,\" Harry sighed, and forced his tongue inside Snape\'s mouth while he curled his hands around Snape\'s shoulders. His hips bucked against Snape\'s hand, urging him to stroke faster.

Their kiss grew more frantic, Snape\'s teeth scraping across Harry\'s lips, and Harry was so aroused from having felt Snape come in his mouth, it didn\'t take more than five strokes to find his release. He groaned, sucking Snape\'s tongue inside his mouth as a poor substitute for Snape\'s cock, and came in long spurts, Snape\'s skilled hand drawing his orgasm out.

\"Fuck,\" he gasped, pulling back from Snape\'s mouth. \"Fuck, so good.\" He slumped against Snape, pressing his lips to Snape\'s cheek. Soft, warm skin, with just a hint of stubble. Snape\'s lips caressed Harry\'s throat, and his fingers released Harry\'s spent prick.

\"You\'re so good with your hands,\" Harry said, wrapping his arms around Snape\'s neck. \"I love how you touch me like that.\"

And there it was. The feeling of Snape\'s lips curving up against his throat. Only a touch, but Harry knew what it was.

\"You smiled,\" he said, sounding triumphant.

\"I did no such thing.\" Snape seemed indignant, and it made Harry laugh. Snape ignored him. \"It\'s time to see to your potion. It still needs a few hours of work this evening. Turn on the lights.\"

\"Er...I don\'t have my wand.\"

Snape made a disapproving sound. \"You foolish boy. Never, ever leave your wand out of reach.\"

\"I was a bit distracted,\" Harry said, though he knew Snape was right.

\"That is not an excuse. From now on, you have your wand with you at all times. Yes, Potter, even when you suck my cock.\"

Harry snickered. \"I love it when you say cock.\"

\"Oh, get off me, you insolent child,\" Snape snarled, but Harry could tell he wasn\'t really angry. It was strange how he knew Snape so well by now, he could tell such differences. He pressed one last kiss to Snape\'s lips, hard, and slid off his lap, still snickering.

He stopped snickering, though, when Snape made him search for his wand on his hands and knees in the dark.


*~*~*~*~*


Later, they lay on Snape\'s bed naked, limbs tangled, bodies pressed together, hard cocks eager for release.

Harry was close, so close, and he bucked his hips harder, his mouth latched on to Snape\'s, trying to devour him through their kiss. Snape\'s hand roamed across Harry\'s back, dipping lower and lower, until he stroked Harry\'s arse.

And then one of Snape\'s fingers slid between Harry\'s arse cheeks and pressed against his entrance, and that was such an exciting, forbidden feeling, Harry climaxed with a muffled cry. Snape kept fondling his hole, kept teasing it, and Harry thought he might go mad as he rode out his orgasm with sharp jerks of his body.

\"God,\" he gasped against Snape\'s mouth. Snape\'s hand withdrew, and Harry felt Snape move faster against him, his hard cock sliding against Harry\'s come-covered belly. He held onto Snape, held him as close as he could. He wanted to feel the moment Snape found his release, wanted to know how it felt for Snape. He wanted to know if Snape liked it as much as he did.

Snape\'s eyes fluttered shut, his brow knitted together, and Harry felt hot seed on his skin. Snape held Harry tighter, trembled against him, and then it was over.

Panting, Harry watched Snape open his eyes. Harry smiled at him, and one corner of Snape\'s mouth curled up in response.

It had been a good evening. A perfect evening. After Harry\'s oral adventure in the library, they\'d spent two hours in the workroom, and then Snape had told Harry to come with him. They\'d found their way to Snape\'s bedroom quickly, and this time Harry\'d felt no hesitance when Snape had told him to undress and join him on the bed.

\"That was nice,\" Harry said, and when Snape released his hold, Harry stretched, feeling satisfied and spent.

\"Hmm.\" It sounded like agreement, which made Harry smile wider.

Since Harry wasn\'t nearly as tired as he\'d been the night before, he felt no need to go to sleep. So he watched Snape, watched those dark eyes watch him.

\"I must admit I had never taken you for a fairy, Potter,\" Snape said, a curious edge to his voice.

\"A what?\" Harry drew back a little, and propped himself up on his elbow. Their legs remained tangled, which Harry didn\'t mind one bit.

\"A homosexual.\"

Harry blinked. \"But I\'m not a homosexual.\"

Snape snorted with laughter, his face half-buried in his pillow. \"Of course not, Potter. That\'s why you sucked my cock not three hours ago. That\'s why you\'re naked in bed with a man. Because you\'re not a homosexual.\"

Harry\'s cheeks flushed. \"I haven\'t really given it any thought. I like doing these things, but I\'ve never considered being a homosexual.\"

Sighing, Snape sat up, and shook his head. \"I normally don\'t care for consulting students about their personal problems. However, since we\'re here, let me see what I can do.\" Snape propped two pillows up against the headboard, sat down against one of them, patted the space beside him in an invitation, and cleared his throat. \"Tell me, Mr Potter, how long have you been harboring sexual fantasies involving men?\"

Harry knew Snape was teasing, even though Snape had used his best classroom voice. And normally, Harry might have laughed. But this wasn\'t a normal situation. Because Harry honestly hadn\'t considered the subject at all.

\"I haven\'t really harbored anything,\" he said, his voice unusually soft. He sat up against the pillow, but he didn\'t dare meet Snape\'s gaze.

\"Besides those literary works of homosexual art you keep in your room for your own enjoyment?\"

Harry snorted. \"I was just curious. It didn\'t mean anything.\"

\"Potter,\" Snape\'s voice was quiet, kind almost. \"Look at me.\"

Glancing up, Harry met Snape\'s narrowed gaze.

\"First, if you ever tell anyone I\'ve given you honest advice, I will cast every single curse from Death By Wand on you, understood?\"

Harry nodded, not sure what Snape was getting at.

\"Good. Now, the advice. It\'s perfectly all right to be confused about your sexual preferences. However, it benefits no one, least of all yourself, to deny your feelings. Again, tell me, Potter, when did you first consider having sex with a man?\"

\"I\'m not sure. Sometime last year, I think. I got more into it this summer. With those magazines. And with you.\"

\"I see. How do you feel about girls?\"

\"I find them annoying, mostly,\" Harry said in all honesty. \"And the strange thing is I haven\'t really given sex much thought until I started thinking about men. I mean, last year, there was this girl, but all I did was kiss her. I didn\'t even want to do more with her. She was very annoying. And now,\" Harry gestured between Snape and himself, \"I can\'t seem to stop thinking about it.\"

Snape snorted. \"I don\'t think that is such a strange thing. You were discovering your preferences. And I do believe you\'ve found them.\"

Harry heaved a sigh. \"So I\'m a homosexual? That\'s just great.\"

\"It\'s not all that bad, Potter.\"

\"Actually, it is.\" Harry rubbed a finger across the scar on his forehead. \"I\'m already different. I can\'t really use yet another reason people may want to stare after me and gossip behind my back.\"

\"Drop the self-pity. It doesn\'t become you.\" Snape sounded more like himself again. \"However, you are correct about people\'s reactions. They can be quite unfavorable towards our kind. Have you told anyone of this development?\"

\"Besides you?\" Harry managed a small smile. \"No.\"

\"Keep it that way.\"

\"What do you mean?\" Harry asked, frowning. \"I think perhaps I should tell my friends.\"

Snape glanced down, obviously searching for the right words. \"People generally don\'t like homosexuals. Even people you care about may desert you once you make your preferences clear.\"

\"Ron and Hermione would never do that!\"

Snape arched an eyebrow. \"Are you sure of that? Can you honestly say Weasley will welcome the fact that you like to suck cock?\"

\"Okay, perhaps not Ron. But Hermione wouldn\'t mind.\"

\"Miss Granger has a reasonably functioning brain, so I will give her the benefit of the doubt. But do you believe Weasley will be just as reasonable? Do you believe Molly Weasley would welcome you in her arms if she knew? Do you think your godfather would have cried with joy if he\'d known you prefer men?\"

Harry narrowed his eyes, a cold shiver running down his back. \"Don\'t start with that, please.\"

Snape leaned closer, his voice becoming more urgent. \"I\'m not starting anything. I\'m merely trying to explain to you how this world works, so you know what to expect when this summer ends and you bounce back inside Hogwarts as Harry the happy fag. There are plenty of people like your godfather who don\'t have a very high opinion of homosexuals.\"

\"Don\'t bring Sirius into this!\" Harry snarled. \"I know you hate him. You don\'t have to remind me.\"

\"My feelings for your godfather have nothing to do with this, Potter! Be reasonable for once, and listen to what I\'m saying.\"

\"I am listening, and all you do is insult Sirius!\"

Snape leaned back, his eyes glittering with malice, as if he were about to publicly criticize Harry\'s mucked up potion. \"You saw my memory. You saw me as a teenager. Who do you think that cock belonged to? How do you think I know Black\'s feelings on this subject?\"

Harry\'s mouth dropped open in shock, and he went with his instinct, which was never to believe anything Snape told him. \"You\'re lying.\"

Snape sneered. \"Perhaps I should just deposit that memory in a pensieve, so you can have a convenient look at it. You do have experience with prying in my private thoughts.\"

\"Stop it!\" Harry yelled, scrambling away from Snape. He didn\'t understand why Snape was saying those things about Sirius.

\"No, Potter. I do think it\'s time you learned another part of the truth about your dear godfather.\"

\"Shut up!\" Harry was up on his feet and his legs trembled as he shuffled towards the door.

\"Your godfather was a malicious, bigoted, arrogant, rash, irresponsible, homophobic bastard!\"

\"I don\'t care!\" Harry yelled, turning towards the bed. Snape looked like he wanted to curse someone, possibly Harry. \"I don\'t care if he was all those things. He was all I had!\"

Tears of anger prickled the back of Harry\'s eyes, and he was damned if he let Snape see them. So he turned on his feet and marched out of the bedroom.

\"Torustitum!\" Snape shouted, followed by, \"Mobilicorpus!\" And before Harry knew what was happening, he was back on the bed, lying beside Snape.

\"Let go of me!\" Harry tried to trash against the sheets, but his body refused to move. \"Let go of me now!\"

Snape\'s fingers tightened around Harry\'s chin, and forced Harry to look at Snape. \"You will calm down at once, or I will force a Calming Potion down your throat, is that understood?\"

Harry swallowed and squeezed his eyes shut. He didn\'t want to see Snape.

\"That\'s better,\" Snape said, and released Harry\'s chin. Harry turned his face away. \"Potter, I know how you felt about your godfather, and not even I am heartless enough to continually rub his faults in your face at this time. However, I am trying to make you understand that even people you consider to be good can have particularly nasty opinions on your sexual preferences.\"

Inhaling a deep breath, Harry opened his eyes again, but he still didn\'t look at Snape. \"What happened? What did Sirius do to you?\"

\"Finite Incantatem,\" Snape said, tapping his wand against Harry\'s chest. \"Don\'t you dare leave this bed, not until I\'m finished.\"

Harry didn\'t reply, but he didn\'t move either, which apparently Snape took as consent.

\"I knew I preferred men when I was fifteen. I discussed it with a few Slytherins, who I knew were amendable to the subject. Black\'s younger brother, Regulus, overheard us, and reported his findings to his big brother.\"

Snape stretched out on his back beside Harry, and Harry finally turned his head to look at him. Snape didn\'t meet his eyes, but stared up at the ceiling.

\"Black then used his obvious charm to convince me he shared my preferences. And I was foolish enough to believe him. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe one of those perfect Gryffindors had a secret as dark as my own.

\"When Black knew he\'d convinced me, he told me he\'d only continue to meet me if I sucked his cock. I did. For a whole week, every night, I sucked his cock. He never touched me.\"

\"That\'s what I saw,\" Harry said softly.

\"Yes, Potter, you stumbled on a memory of one of those trysts. After that week, Black stopped seeing me and spread the rumor I was queer. He told everyone I was a filthy shirt-lifter. He made my life at Hogwarts even worse than it already was.

\"Of course, I wanted revenge, and thus I spread the rumor Black was queer as well and loved having his cock sucked by Slytherins.\"

Despite himself, Harry snickered. Snape shot him an amused glance. \"I bet Sirius didn\'t like that,\" Harry said, smiling.

\"Indeed. Black was not amused.\"

\"What did he do?\"

\"He sent me to the Shrieking Shack. Told me to meet him there to settle things between us. I believe you know the rest of that story.\"

\"Yeah,\" Harry said. Snape lips thinned as he stared at nothing in particular. \"I\'m sorry Sirius did -- \"

\"Stop it, Potter. I didn\'t tell you this story to receive your pity. I\'m trying to make you see that while preferring men in itself isn\'t a weakness, it can become a weakness if you let other people use it against you.\"

\"I think I get it,\" Harry said, and he scooted a little closer to Snape. \"The Dursleys were always going on about homosexuals being perverted child rapists.\"

\"Who\'d have thought those Muggles know so much about me?\" Snape said coolly.

Harry gaped at him. Then he understood what Snape was saying. \"I\'m not a child. And you\'re not a rapist. I haven\'t made up my mind yet about the perverted part, though.\"

Snape turned his face and looked at Harry with one curved eyebrow. \"So you may not be a child, but you are young. And you are my student. And many people will argue you\'re not old enough to give consent, which makes me a rapist. And I can definitely be perverted, Potter. We still have a week together. Just you wait.\"

Harry snorted with laughter, and then he ran his fingers up Snape\'s arm in a reconciling gesture. \"If you know all that, why are you doing these things with me?\"

\"Why are you doing them with me?\"

\"Because I like doing them with you. It feels good,\" Harry whispered.

\"Well, there you have your answer.\" Snape released a deep breath. \"You may leave now, if you wish. I\'ve finished.\"

Harry tilted his head up to look at the door. Then he looked at Snape. \"Can I stay here?\"

\"I\'m sure you can. Do try not to snore as loudly as last night.\"

\"I don\'t snore,\" Harry said, grinning. He reached for the sheets, pulled them out from under them, and tucked Snape in. Then he crawled under them, and lay down against Snape, his cheek resting on Snape\'s chest.

\"You\'re forgetting something, Potter.\"

\"I am?\"

\"Yes, unless you want to wake up itching like mad.\"

Rolling his eyes, Harry reached for his wand, and performed a cleaning spell on both of them.

\"Much better. Get some sleep, Potter.\"

\"Yes, sir,\" Harry said, settling against Snape again, just as Snape turned off the lights. The room went dark, and Harry concentrated on Snape\'s heartbeat, slow and steady. Snape shifted, wrapped an arm around Harry\'s waist, and pulled him closer. And Harry felt calm and relaxed and a little bit wiser as he let Snape\'s heartbeat lull him to sleep.


*~*~*~*~*


The Veritaserum simmered peacefully on the fire, and didn\'t need any attention for another 24 hours, so Harry started on the lacewing flies for his Polyjuice Potion, which needed to stew for 21 days. He reached for a cauldron, placed it on the fire, and went about preparing the lacewing flies.

\"Who did steal the boomslang skin and gillyweed from my office, Potter?\"

Harry looked up at Snape, who stood at the other table, working on a potion of his own, and grinned. \"I have no idea, sir,\" he said in his most angelic voice.

\"You used gillyweed at that tournament, and now you tell me you don\'t know who took it? I know it was you. What I don\'t know is how you entered my office.\"

\"Okay,\" Harry said, taking pity on Snape\'s frustrated look. \"I didn\'t take your gillyweed, but I did use it.\"

\"Then who took it?\"

\"Dobby.\"

\"Dobby? That house elf?\"

\"Yeah. But Moody – well, that fake Moody – was behind it. He needed me alive and winning for the third task.\" Harry tried not to remember what had happened after the third task, and he quickly added the lacewing flies to his cauldron.

\"Ah, yes,\" Snape said, as if he\'d just read Harry\'s thoughts. \"The third task. Where you managed to bring back the Dark Lord all by yourself. Really, Potter, that was a true highlight of your incompetence.\"

Harry stared at Snape, a cold wave of disbelief washing over him. They\'d had such a good start of the day. They\'d woken up together, exchanged a few rounds of playful banter, and then they\'d had a repeat performance in the shower, much like the day before. And now Snape was insulting him. Again.

Something clicked inside Harry\'s mind, and he wanted to bang his head against the wall. Of course Snape was insulting him. It was all part of this lesson Harry had to learn, or so Snape thought.

Two could play that game, as Harry had learned the previous day.

\"Yeah, well, at least I didn\'t drop to my knees, kissed the hem of his robes, and let him fuck me, as some of us in this room have done,\" he said, as casually as he could, but he still flinched at hearing his own words.

Snape, though, looked impressed. And then a sneer stole over his mouth. \"No, you got a fellow student killed. Now that takes skill, Potter. Tell me, was Diggory easier to get killed than your godfather?\"

Fuck. That stung. Harry bit his lip, and tried to wrestle back the blazing anger rising in his chest.

\"Breathe, Potter.\"

Harry tried to, but it was hard not to let those words hurt him.

\"Sirius was much easier to get killed than Cedric,\" Harry finally managed to say, even though his own words cut through his heart like a knife. \"Mostly thanks to your cowardice and incompetence. Come on, Snape, even I had enough balls to stand up to Umbridge, but you were such a coward you didn\'t even try to take her out when she yelled at you she needed Veritaserum. And then you couldn\'t find me. One little student, and you spent an entire afternoon wandering through that bloody forest. Where were your tracking charms then, eh?\"

Snape pursed his lips, and for a moment Harry thought he might have actually pissed Snape off, but then Snape\'s mouth curled up.

\"That may very well be, Potter, but I\'m still alive. And your godfather is sucking Death Eater cock in hell.\"

Harry narrowed his eyes. \"No, actually my godfather got his cock sucked by a Death Eater while he was still in school. He almost got that fag killed, too. And got away with it. Tell me, Snape, do you still piss yourself whenever Lupin looks at you oddly?\"

Snape lowered his knife, and placed his hands on the table, leaning towards Harry. \"Here is something you may not already know. Draco Malfoy is so much more talented at sucking cock than you are, Potter. You really didn\'t think this pathetic thing between us is going to continue for very long, did you? The moment we get back to Hogwarts, I\'ll be calling Draco to my office every evening, to let him suck me off. And I may even tell him what a lousy fuck you are, so he can announce it to the entire school.\"

Harry was speechless. He was at a complete loss for words, because the pain that ripped through him somehow turned off his higher brain functions.

\"Breathe, Potter.\" Snape sounded victorious.

\"No,\" Harry said, digging his fingernails into the wood of his table. \"Fuck. No. I can\'t do this.\"

\"You were doing it, and rather well, if I say so myself.\"

But Harry couldn\'t get past the ice cold rejection he felt. He couldn\'t summon any new insult to swing at Snape. All he could think of was Draco Malfoy on his knees, sucking Snape\'s cock. And that image drove him mad with...something bitter and unforgiving.

He looked up at Snape, feeling defeated. \"Malfoy\'s queer?\"

Snape snorted. \"No, Malfoy isn\'t queer. And even if he were, he\'d still be straight, because he\'s got a Malfoy heir to produce. You are so gullible. It almost takes the fun out of insulting you.\"

\"I don\'t see why I need to learn this, and you\'re better at it anyway, so we may as well stop it.\"

\"No, Potter,\" Snape said, rounding the table. He halted in front of Harry. \"You need to learn this, because if you don\'t, you give others power over you. If you allow people\'s words to affect you, you give them power. It\'s as simple as that.\"

\"Power?\" Harry wasn\'t sure what Snape was trying to say.

\"Yes. Power. Imagine you\'re dueling an adversary, and you need to concentrate on every move you make. In your case, a few choice insults would throw you completely off your guard, and that makes you an easy target.\"

\"Ah,\" Harry said. He imagined dueling Bellatrix Lestrange. She\'d definitely bring Sirius up. And Harry knew he\'d go blind with rage if she did. \"I think I get it.\"

\"Good. Because I will keep insulting you, hurting you, until you can meet me word for word. Until you can use my Death Eater past against me without flinching. Do you need any sentimental reassurances I won\'t go telling Malfoy about your sexual skills the first opportunity I get?\"

Harry snorted. \"No,\" he said, trying not to sound sullen. \"Perhaps a kiss would help restore my faith in your intentions.\"

Snape cupped Harry\'s chin, and pecked a kiss on his lips. \"There. Now get to work, Potter.\" Snape swept around, and stalked to his table.

Smiling, Harry went back to the instructions on Polyjuice Potion. He felt better, now he understood why it was important to learn to take insults without losing his control. Still, Harry couldn\'t help thinking this was going to be the hardest lesson he had to learn that summer.