It\'s Not That Simple

AN: Oops. Um…okay this is NT/SS…but not exactly fluffy and I promise this is going to be Remus/Tonks in future chapters! However, having reread bits of HBP this little plot bunny reared its ugly head and wouldn’t let go…

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Sordid

Tonks’ awoke slowly. Rolling over in bed, she grasped the pillow and pulled it over her head, hiding herself from the day. Something was wrong though – this bed was harder than her own, the sheets were crisper, and the smell…the smell was manly. Dear Merlin, she thought, what have I done now? Whisking the pillow from her head she sat bolt upright. Glancing around the room it took her only moments to realise where she was and for the memories of last night to flood back. Remus. A smile broadened on her face. Finally – finally! – she had won him over. Yet, a moment later her smile was gone, a look of devastation in it’s place. He wasn’t here. Last night had meant nothing to him, just two drunk fools in desperate need of company and distraction. As tears formed in her eyes and spilt down her cheeks, Tonks wished last night had never happened.

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Tonks stared at her naked self in her bedroom mirror. Thankfully she had managed to sneak downstairs from Remus’ room to her own without facing anyone. She stared on, scrutinising herself. Certainly, she was a little on the scrawny side, her hair was…well, it was understandably quite sleep tousled, but the colour was fading again. With much effort, she scrunched up her face and enhanced the colour until it was flaming pink again. She then moved her attentions to her face – nothing repulsive, though nothing spectacular. A simple heart shape, slightly small nose and big brown eyes…wait, they were supposed to be blue. Exerting a little more energy, she had them back as they were meant to be. Then her body – her body was not something she was particularly proud of, though she tended not to alter it too often – it took a lot of effort and Tonks’ had learnt in the past what a devastating toll on her health trying to keep up full-body appearances could be. Though, she thought eyeing up her chest, there was definitely room for improvement there. One more transformation and her small breasts had increased two sizes – she didn’t want to push it any further for fear that someone would actually notice and say something – which was always embarrassing. Feeling exhausted, she took one last glance at her body and gave up. There was no point – Remus was not interested.

She dressed slowly, the Muggle way, not wanting to have to face anyone until absolutely necessary, least of all him. Finally, with her stomach growling, Tonks could avoid it no longer. Pulling her shoulders back, muttering her mantra, “I am an Auror not a silly little girl,” she descended the stairs and headed for the kitchen. With one more slightly louder chant, she sucked in a deep breath and walked through the door. However, as fate and her clumsiness would have it, she tripped on the leg of a chair, fell across the room and ended up sprawled in a rather surprised looking Remus’ lap.

“Uh…good morning,” she said too chirpily, trying to extract herself as her cheeks blazed the same colour as her hair.

“Tonks…for Merlin’s sake…are you alright?” Remus enquired, staring down at her. His hand reached for her elbow and helped her to her feet.

“Huh?” Tonks asked, wondering for a moment if he was enquiring about last night, then, realising that Molly, Arthur, Hermione and Ron were there, thought better of it. “Oh, um…yeah, I’m fine thanks! Two left feet, honestly.”

Tonks’ caught Molly and Arthur exchanging a look, but decided not to dwell on it.

“How about some breakfast, Dear?” Molly asked her as Tonks stood there feeling quite self-conscious.

“Oh…um…yeah, that’d be lovely thanks, Molly.”

It was then that her next dilemma was brought to Tonks’ attention. Hermione had books and papers spread out all over the other end of the table, leaving Tonks’ only option to sit next to Remus. So much for avoiding him, she thought downheartedly. Tonks glanced at Remus as she sat down, catching his eye for just a moment before he quickly glanced back down at his food. Great, she thought, he can’t even stand to look at me.

Thankfully, Molly then placed a steaming plate of porridge under Tonks’ nose, giving her an adequate excuse to avoid everyone’s stares.

“Well, I think that …” Hermione began, in her ranting, authoritative voice she always took on when lecturing with her great wisdom. Her voice droned on but Tonks’ shut it out. He was so close…just inches away, yet so far. I’ve messed up everything, Tonks pouted to herself. I should never have thrown myself at him – Remus isn’t like that. He probably thinks I’m a right little whore now, and I guess he’s all too right…

“Hermione, I think perhaps Tonks’ isn’t feeling so well,” Molly suddenly cut into the Hermione’s rant. “Why don’t you and Ron take your studies into the living room?”

“I’m quite happy here, Mum. If Hermione wants to keep talking why doesn’t she go in there…” Ron began, but one sharp from Molly silenced him.

“Come on,” Hermione said, gathering up her things.

“Why is it that every time you lot want to talk you throw us out? I’m not a kid anymore!” Ron exclaimed at his mother.

“Ronald Weasley! I asked you nicely to leave the room. If you can’t…”

“Alright. Alright!” Ron snapped at her, trailing Hermione from the room.

Tonks’ heart sunk as they left the room. She hated to think what it was that Molly wanted to talk about – especially given the exchange of looks she was now having with Arthur, interrupted only by the pair of them turning to stare at Tonks’ and Remus.

“I think there might be another Boggart in that room on the second floor, Arthur. Could you give me a hand?\" Molly asked in a too sweet voice.

“I’ll be happy to do it,” Remus cut in, his chair scrapping on the wooden floor as he moved.

“No, no. You stay and eat Remus. You’re looking far too thin. Arthur can handle this one,” Molly cut in, practically dragging her husband from the room and shutting the door behind her.

Tonks stared dumbly at the door for a few moments, panicking inside at having been left alone with Remus. They sat in silence for a while, Remus reading his newspaper and eating, Tonks stirring her porridge around aimlessly in her bowl.

“Remus…” Tonks said just as Remus spoke. “Tonks…”

The pair of them laughed nervously.

“You first,” Tonks insisted.

“I…I was just going to say I’m sorry about last night – I should have shown more restraint and I…I think perhaps it is for the best if we just pretend it never happened?”

Tonks was crushed. Up until this point she had a minuscule hope that perhaps his absence this morning hadn’t meant what she had thought.

“What was it you were going to say?” Remus asked, interrupting her silence.

“Huh? Oh, um…yeah…yeah, you’re right. Excuse me.” Tonks pulled herself up from the table, once more tripping. Remus reached out and grabbed her elbow to steady her again, but Tonks quickly pulled it back and hurried from the room.

She made it to the entrance hall, planning on heading for her room when the front door opened. She turned at the sound and, to her horror, there stood Snape, in all his dark, looming glory.

“Well, isn’t this convenient? Just the person I was seeking.”

Tonks inwardly shuddered at the silky sarcasm in his voice. This could mean only one thing – one thing she had been stupid enough to get herself into and, she had thought, bright enough to extract herself from.

“Snape, I thought I told you I was done with that?”

“Did you? Yes, perhaps I do recall that now you mention it,” Snape replied, tapping at his chin in a brusque gesture of thinking. “Though, I also believe that was due to your idiotic preoccupation with trying to bed that,” Snape lowered his voice this time, and jerked his head towards the kitchen doorway, through which Remus’ form was just visible. “I would have thought you had come to your senses by now, Tonks. From what I recall, despite being Gryffindor, you were far from imbecilic at school, even if you did lack any sort of grace.”

A loud crack startled Tonks and glancing towards the kitchen again, she realised it was Remus’ Apparating. He hadn’t even said goodbye. Her heart sunk even further.

“Fine,” she snapped at Snape. “If you must.”

“Such enthusiasm – perhaps we can fix that too. Your room in fifteen. I have some business to attend to first.”

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Tonks couldn’t quite admit to herself why she was waiting in her room for Snape. It would have been perfectly easy to have just left, gone to work even though it was Saturday…anything, but no, she sat there on her bed waiting for him. It wasn’t as if she truly detested him – after all, when these escapades had begun she’d quite enjoyed them herself – some totally meaningless sex to relieve a little tension from work and the imminent war. Nor had she particularly minded his requests – she was quite used to that sort of thing, though she must admit the number of Death Eaters he asked for her to transform into was a little disconcerting.

Her door opened and Snape silently stepped into her room, closing it softly behind him. He cast several wordless silencing and locking charms and then turned to scrutinise her. Tonks felt, as always, too exposed.

“Narcissa Malfoy.”

“Again?” Tonks blurted out.

“Yes, again,” Snape growled.

With a sigh, Tonks screwed up her nose and concentrated hard. When she opened her eyes again she was greeted by an especially condescending look from Snape.

“What?” she asked, staring back at him.

“See for yourself.” He inclined his head towards the mirror that hung from her wall. She gave him a sceptical look, then crawled off the bed to look in the mirror. There was Narcissa’s long blond hair, but that was it. The rest was completely Tonks. Confused, she tried again, opened her eyes and found that nothing had changed. Again and again she tried until Snape interrupted her.

“Never mind, that will have to do. I have other matters to attend today,” he said harshly.

Snape removed his wand from his robes and flicked it at her. Tonks shivered in the sudden cold as her bare skin meet with chilly air. Snape drew his eyes down her body and cocked his head slightly as if in thought, but there was no other reaction to the sight of her. Stepping towards her, he drew her chin roughly up and pulled her into a punishing kiss. Forcibly, Tonks returned the gesture.

“Not particularly proactive today, are you?” Snape commented, his warm breath brushing over her face.

Tonks huffed in response.

“If that is how you insist on being…” Snape placed one hand heavily on her lower back, pressed forward and Tonks found herself bent over the edge of her desk, her derrière completely exposed to him. “Perhaps I should have requested you put on your old uniform…”

Tonks shot him a scathing look over her shoulder as he ran one palm over her backside. From the sounds she could hear Tonks assumed the other was busy preparing himself.

Snape sniggered at her. “You know my tastes don’t lean in that direction, Tonks.”

“I know your tastes are in the realm of the sordid.”

“Impertinent twat!” Snape hissed. Tonks went to return the insult, but Snape chose that moment to slam into her, filling her to the brink and rendering her breathless and speechless.

He didn’t pause for a moment, starting up a furious rhythm. To Tonks’ utter dismay, his rough handling of her only proved to excite her. She didn’t want to want this – she wanted Remus. This should have been him, his fingers digging into her hips, his grunts against her shoulder, his cock driving her to insanity. Tonks’ fought hard to keep all desire buried.

“Delude yourself all you like, Nymphadora, but don’t think for a moment you fool me. I am perfectly aware of how intensely you revel in this.”

He was right. She could feel her skin beginning to tingle, a growing warmth emanating from her core. Fine, if Snape could use her for his fantasies, surely she was perfectly within her rights to do the same. It was Remus’ fingers on her, Remus driving her to insanity. His fingers drifted from her hips, one sliding to her apex, flicking roughly over her clit while the other slide around her back, creeping down between the soft rise of her backside and teasing at her rear entrance.

“Let go, Tonks. You know how much I relish in a wanton slut squirming under me.”

“Shut up!” she snapped, his voice ruining her illusion of Remus.

Snape did as requested, oddly enough. However, he responded by pressing his finger harder against her tight ring of muscle. Gods, Remus, she thought. Clenching tightly to the edge of the desk, she let go, her legs quaking under her weight, her insides clamping down on him, warmth filling her from head to toe. Then she felt him spilling into her, grunting as he came.

“Remus!” His name slipped from her lips and echoed around the room as Snape came to a sudden halt. He pulled immediately from her and Tonks’ head collapsed on the desktop with a dull thunk, the realisation of what, or more who, she had just done hitting her. It hadn’t been him. Some time later, with effort, she pulled herself up and turned to face him. Snape was already dressed, just adjusting his robes when she looked at him.

He glanced up at her with a dark look. “Very tactful, Tonks,” he jeered. He tugged sharply at his robes and strode towards the door. He paused suddenly and turned back to her. “I hope you realise that Lupin would not touch you if his life depended on it.” He glanced over her naked form with a sneer and added, “You’re not his…type.”

Snape billowed from the room and Tonks’ was left staring blankly at the door, tears staining her cheeks again.