Lover

Lost and Found

Draco paced his room, back and forth. His eyes were closed and
when he felt his foot hit the wall he turned around and walked till he
hit the other wall. His head hurt from thinking. Blaise sat on his bed
watching him.

\'He really does look like a lost puppy,\' Blaise thought to himself. \'He not
acting like the Draco I know\'. \"Something up Drake?\"
Draco just kept on walking. He really wished Blaise would leave. He
was in desperate need of a little life reassurance. He just wanted to
sit in his room and try to make it all go way.

\'How could I be so stupid? You don\'t leave something like a journal just
sitting around the house. Not when you have my father,\' Draco sighed softly.

\"Draco are you ignoring me?\" Blaise demanded.

\"Why are you here, Blaise?\" Draco asked wearily, his eyes still closed.

\"I just found something I thought you might want to see, but if
you don\'t seem like you want to see it…\" Blaise stood to leave. Before
he reached the door, Draco grabbed his arm. \"Oh, so you do want to see it.\"

\"What is it?\" Draco asked. He watched as Blaise pulled out a shrunken book, he muttered the
enlargement spell and then opens to the front-page. \"Property of: HARRY JAMES POTTER\" was written on the front-page.

\"Where you get this?\" Draco screeched, yanking the book from Blaise\'s
hands, turning it over.

\"It was just lying on the floor near the stairs to Gryffindor
tower.\" Blaise explain. \"I guess he just dropped it.\"

\"Get out!\" Draco demanded.

\"What! Why?!?\"

\"I wanna read it.\"

\" So do I.\"

\"No!\" Draco screamed. \"GET OUT!\"

\"Really Draco… What happen over the summer? Your not you anymore.\" Blaise
sulked as he left. He didn\'t know how close to the truth he was. Draco had changed. If he
knew what happen he would have just dropped it.

Most kid as they get older, their parents give them more respect. That
wasn\'t so with Draco\'s father. He just got meaner and more
controlling. Sure in public he spoiled him, as did his mother. They
spoiled him rotten. That was until his father
found out something very disturbing.
(A/N: I love Flashback…. just so you know…so here the ripples)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
{Flashback}

\"Draco Lucius Malfoy, get in here NOW!\" Draco heard his father call and
ran down the hall from the kitchen to his room where he heard his father\'s
voice. He stumbled into his room and saw his father sitting on the bed.

\"Yes father?\" he said weakly. He knew he was mad. He saw it in his eyes.
They almost looked red with fury.

\"What\'s this?\" he asked calmly. Draco gulped softly.

\"I don\'t know.\" he replied.

\"So this isn\'t you name in here. This Belongs To: Draco Malfoy.\" Lucius
growled, getting madder at the fact that he was lied to.

\"Yes.\" Draco squeaked.

\"So Draco, When were you planning on telling me that you\'re
gay?\" Lucius asked standing now. Draco stared up at his father and his knees knocked together
in fear. \"You were just going to let me think you were going to marry Pansy
and here I find out your gay,\" Draco gulped with a squeak.
\"And to make it worse you\'re in love with HARRY BLOODY POTTER!\" Lucius
screamed.\"Are you absolutely mad?!?\" Draco just stared at him. \"ANSWER ME!!\"

\"N…n…no.\" Draco stammered.

\"Well you know what? You\'re going to marry Pansy. Yes Pansy. Not Potter,\"
Lucius commanded. He grabbed his son by the collar and proceeded to drag him
out of the room, passing Narcissa on the way.

\"Lucius, what is happening?\" Narcissa asked worried as her
husband was dragging Draco.

\"Your son\" Lucius growled. \"Is gay and in love with Harry Potter!\"

\"Is that really necessary to drag him like that?\" Narcissa
asked stomping her foot.

\"He\'s in love with Harry Potter. He supposed to marry the Parkinson\'s
daughter. He not supposed to be gay,\" Lucius spat scathingly, acting
like a spoil child.

\"Stop it!\" Narcissa demanded. \"You\'re crazy!\"

\"He is the Malfoy heir. He can\'t be gay cause then I look like
an idiot.\" Lucius growled.

\"Where are you talking him?\" Narcissa asked.

\"Never you mind.\" He told her pushing her out of the way and
kept walking. Draco recognized the hall as the ones that lead to the dungeons.

\"Father, where are you taking me?\" Draco started squirming in
his father\'s grasp. The hold on him was just tightened.

\"To the dungeon. No son of mine is going to be gay. You\'re lucky that I
don\'t just disown you.\" Lucius told him.

\"I don\'t want to go in there!\" Draco tried to run but before he could his
father had him in chokehold. With one hand around Draco\'s neck, he took
Draco\'s wand and then shoved him into the cell. \"Let me out! Father!
Please let me out!\"

\" NO!\" Lucius screamed. \"You\'re staying in there, till school
starts.\" With that he walked away.
{Flashback end}

Draco had indeed stay in there till school start. His mother\'s gave him
food but he wasn\'t allowed to leave. There wasn\'t even a bathroom and he
couldn\'t change his clothes. The only thing he had was his razor that he
bought recently. He had come accustomed to cutting himself just to make himself
feel alive. He\'d been in there for a month, with none for company but the
utter darkness. He felt so completely alone and dead. He even, in his
misery, attempted to kill himself twice, his father preventing him by
healing him both times. School started soon after.

Blaise was the only one who knew about him cutting himself,
because he caught him one too many times. He had told him to stop but it wasn\'t
that easy. He didn\'t want to live anymore. If all he had to live for
was to end up marrying Pansy that wasn\'t worth it. The only thing he had
left was his dream, which would never come true, and a notebook full
of Harry Potter. His mother had been so nice as to give it to him. He hadn\'t
written in it, while his father had him locked away because he couldn\'t see
anything. He wrote in it, every chance he had now.

Now though, that didn\'t matter. In his hand he had Harry\'s notebook. His
thoughts, dreams, feelings and hopes.

\'Do I really want to read this? What if…if it\'s filled with how much he
hates me? But then again, he\'s gay so maybe not.\' Draco was pacing again. The
book was held at arm length. Sitting down on the bed, he turned to one of
the pages. \"Here goes nothing.\"

January 5, 2003
I had Quidditch practice today. It was boring at first. We were training
our new chasers, Ginny, Seamus and Hermione. I really can\'t believe Hermione
made the team. She doesn\'t or didn\'t even like Quidditch! or so I thought.
Like I said it was boring at first. Then Draco came. He said that Snape gave
him a pass to use the field. Ron got mad at him and they started fighting. I
kind of got mad to because he can be an arrogant git sometimes when he
started up on how poor Ron is.

I guess I didn\'t need to say what I did. \"Seems like someone wasn\'t loved enough as a child.\"
It must have struck home because he came back with something worse than what I had said.
\"Just because you never had parents, don\'t take it out on me!\"
That was just mean though. I couldn\'t even let the love of my life say
that. So I attacked him. I would have ripped him limb from limb but
the need, the desire to just touch him took over. We literally rolled
around on the ground for five minutes until Draco had me pinned under
him.

His hands were wrapped around my neck, so it looked like he was
choking me but he wasn\'t. I couldn\'t help it though my eyes closed,
and my hand disappeared from beside me and I found it crawling around
under the front of Draco\'s shirt. He just sat there too, until
McGonagall came that is, and pulled him up off me. When I stood up,
Hermione and Ron were being let go by Crabbe and Goyle. Ron looked
furious and Hermione was looking at me strangely. I really have to
figure out why.



Draco nearly screamed when he was finished reading but even though he
didn\'t want to be, he was a Malfoy and Malfoy don\'t scream. \'He loves me!
He loves me! He loves me! Why DOES HE LOVE ME?\" There had to be something
wrong here. Harry hated his guts. He couldn\'t have written this but that was
how it had happened…Blaise must be trying to mess with him. There was no way
in the world Harry Potter loved him!

\"Blaise Zambini get in here!\" Draco screamed. About a minute
later Blaise was falling back into the room.

\"So what was in it?\" Blaise asked smiling.

\"Why do you look like you know something I don\'t?\" Draco asked
suspiciously.

\"That\'s because I happened read the first page and it turns out
our little Harry Potter is in love with you.\" Blaise beamed. Draco hit him.

\"You were not supposed to read it!\" Draco whined.

\"Oh well,\" Blaise shrugged. \"So are you going to give it back to him?\"

\" No,\" he clutched the book to his chest.

\"Draco, he\'ll want it back,\" Blaise smiled.
\"I know you want to keep it, but try and remember how you felt when
your dad found yours.\" Draco glared at him.
\"Exactly. He\'s probably screaming and ranting around the whole of Gryffindor
tower trying to find it and here you\'ve found it.\"

\"First you found it, and I still want read it.\" Draco pouted.
\"Can\'t I give it back later?\"

\"Draco…\"

\"Fine.\" Draco whined. \"I\'ll give it to Granger…\"

\"Draco…\"

\"Hermione!\" Draco practically screamed. \" I give it to Hermione. Happy?\"

\"No.\"

\"What do you want from me?\" Draco complained.

\"For you to give it to him in person.\"

\"Are you crazy?\"

\"Yes, that is beside the point though,\" Blaise laughed. \"Think
of some place no one goes and ask him to meet you there. If you play your cards right you
might get just want you\'ve been dreaming about.\"

\"I hate you.\"

\"I know.\"

\"You think he\'ll actually go?\"

\"Yes.\"

\"But what if it\'s not his journal?\" Draco asked. \"What if someone is
trying to play a trick on me?\"

\"No one knows expect me and Hermione.\" Blaise reminded him.
\"So who would try and play a trick on Draco Malfoy. Unless they want
to be punished?\"

\"I really doubt I have the energy to do anything to anyone.\"

\"You do know you\'re going to have to tell me what your father
did to you when he
found your notebook eventually.\" Blaise commanded. \"I\'m your best
friend and have a right to know.\"

\"But…\"

\"No buts!\" Blaise interrupted. \"You\'re going to write Harry a note now
and then your going to tell me what happened.\"

\"You don\'t want to know…\"

\"Start writing,\" Blaise demanded. Draco sat down in the desk by his bed
and pulled out a piece of paper and quill. He looked up at Blaise
\"Write.\" He ordered. Draco eventually started to write. \'Geez, he\'s like a two year old.
His old man must havedone something really bad. It has to be bad if Drake\'s resorted to
cutting himself. Of all people I know I never thought he would do
something like that.\' Draco finished writing and handed Blaise the note. Blaise read it aloud.

\"Dear Harry. I mean hi. I mean yeah hi. I think your missing
something and I have it. Your journal right. I…Blaise found it. So um meet
me in the old Astronomy tower and I\'ll give it back. Okay? Okay. Draco.\"
Blaise looked at Draco for a second. \"Now that really doesn\'t sound like
you and you know it.\"

\"Well I\'m not exactly myself this year.\" Draco whispered not looking at
Blaise.

\"You are going to tell me why you\'ve been cutting yourself and your going
to tell me now.\" Blaise ordered, Draco gradually opening up telling
him what happened. He told him how he was locked in the dungeon in the dark with nothing
but rats and his razor. That first time he ever cut himself was on accident. He had been
throwing the dagger up in the air and he misjudged his catch and it
had cut him. He had liked the feeling of blood dripping off his arm. He liked how
even in the almost pitch dark he could still see the bright red color.
He\'d been in there so long he thought he was half dead or going mad
and cutting had made him feel like he wasn\'t.

But then it had just gotten worse.

He remembered how his father said he was to marry Pansy, and in his
desperation he had tried to kill himself. He guessed his mother had
told his father that he was in the process of committing suicide
because he had stepped in and healed every cut he made…both times he
had tried to kill himself.
When he was done Blaise was just staring at him.

\"I would have never figured that.\" Blaise said softly.
\"Who\'s father locks them in a dungeon just because they\'re gay?\"

\"My father.\" Draco mumbled.
Blaise stared at him for a moment then grabbed him and rolled up his
shirt. Draco\'s arm was covered in cuts, old ones slightly scarring and
fresh cuts still bleeding slightly.\'Probably done before I had come in to his room\'
Draco yanked his arm back from him. \"You are still doing it…\" Blaise stated softly. \"Why?\"

\"Because I need to.\" Draco replied not looking at him. \"I can\'t help it…\"

\"Draco…\"

\"Just drop it please, Blaise!\"

\"Okay, Drake. You\'re going to have to stop sooner or later.
Before you really do kill yourself, but I\'ll just leave you alone.\"
Blaise dropped the subject. \"Right now we\'re going to work on you\'re
letter to Harry.\"

A/N: So why exactly does Hermione know. You find out. Next chapter. You
learn something about Hermione that\'s well not very Hermione-ish. Oh and
next chapter will be Harry point of view POV kind of not really.