Out of Nowhere

Disclaimer: The characters held within (save Leah) are not mine. They belong to the lovely JK Rowling (who isn\'t the devil, she\'s brilliant!!) and I am not making a profit, nor is any kind of copyright infringement intended.

A/N: To my lovely reviewers:

Alauralen: I\'m glad you enjoyed the first chapter. I was hoping it would get a laugh or two out of my readers.

catpower: Leah being a total bitch is her way of letting Snape know he won\'t be intimedating her, and she\'s totally in lust with Remus. You\'ll see how everything develops as I post more chappies.

Branwen: Same premise, completely different plot, promise. =) Leah\'s a heifer where Jess is pretty cool. LOL! I\'ll tell you a secret about Leah, if you promise me you won\'t tell anyone else. *looks left and right and whispers* Leah\'s an indepentant, sexually liberated 21st century woman, she doesn\'t love anyone. *grins evilly*

Leah looked at the taller man and shrugged. “Looks like we don’t get much of a choice in the matter. Don’t worry, solitude is something that I don’t get much of back home, so I assure you, it will be greatly appreciated. Besides the rustling of a few papers and the turning of pages, you won’t even know I’m here.”

He sighed in defeat and motioned her to the sitting room. She sat down in the floor at the coffee table and pulled out her brush and a ponytail holder and pulled her hair up. Then, she pulled out a worn leather bound book and opened it up to her bookmark, a red feather. She pulled out three different highlighters and a pencil and began to read. It wasn’t long before she took the yellow highlighter and started marking in the book. She made notes in the margin with her pencil.

Severus watched her work for a few moments before going back to his reading. After about half an hour, she closed the book and took out a binder. Severus could see the printed rune script and he raised an eyebrow. “The Elder Futhark? What would a young muggle like you need with runes?”

“Divinatory and protective reasons,” she stated matter-of-factly.

He snorted in amusement. She raised an eyebrow as he went back to his potions text. “Just what is so funny about that?”

He rolled his eyes and peered at her over his spectacles. “Everyone knows that divination is not an exact branch of magic.”

She sneered at him. “Who says the fates give a shit about magic? Remember something, here, I’m a muggle, so your narrow-minded notions of what magic is and isn’t just might not apply to me! It just so happens that in my world witch-craft isn’t a bunch of foolish wand waving and levitating objects. It’s a way of life and a path to finding yourself. You need not be born a witch to practice circle casting and calling upon the deities for assistance. So, I don’t believe that the fates give a flying fuck as to what you think magic is!”

Somewhere in her tirade, the young woman began to pace and flail her arms about. “Fuck it, I need a drink. Dobby!”

Suddenly, the diminutive creature appeared. “Yes, Mistress Leah,” he squeaked.

“Can you get me alcohol?”

He shook his head affirmatively. “Good,” she answered, “I’d like you to bring me the biggest bottle of Smirnoff you can get. I don’t think I’ll survive this night if I don’t get thoroughly trashed.”

It was only a moment before the elf brought her back a fifth of vodka. She tore open the top and took a long swig. She closed her eyes and lowered herself back into the floor. With a sigh she said, “Feel that burn.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “Might you want to slow down a bit drinking such hard liquor?”

She snorted at him. “This has always been my drink of choice when I want to get trashed. Besides that, this body,” she said indicating the hard, young body before him, “can handle its liquor much better than my older one. This one found itself getting trashed more Saturday nights that I can count.”

He shrugged his shoulders and went back to his tome while she got up and began pacing in front of the hearth. After a few more swigs, Leah was finally starting to get a bit of a buzz and she began muttering to herself. It was not long until she was sitting back in front of the table writing furiously and mumbling to herself. It wasn’t long after that, that Snape became irritated.

“What in the bloody hell are you mumbling about?”

Leah jumped in surprise, forgetting he was in the room in her drunken state. She looked up at him and giggled. “I was just thinking about how I got here and what I know about time travel.”

She looked at her notes and then up at the expectant man. “Ok, so time travel, inter-dimensional travel, and long distance space travel aren’t possible where I’m from. Einstein’s theory of relativity states basically that as an object reaches the speed of light, time slows down.”

At this statement, the wizard gave her a quizzical look. “A well known example is what they call the ‘Twin Theory’, I think. Take a set of identical twins and put one in a space ship traveling near or at the speed of light. The other twin, leave on the Earth. When the first twin returns from his or her voyage in space, he or she will have aged very little as opposed to the twin left on earth because time remained constant on the earth and slowed down on the ship.

“Now, all of this is well and good for traveling into the future, but traveling backward in time is a whole different thing. There are paradoxes and the possibility of changing something only to create an alternate universe. Basically, my being here might just open Pandora’s Box.

“I think I’d give just about anything right now for my lap top and the internet. I’ve traveled not only back in time, but also into another dimension where you and everyone here actually exists. In my world, you are simply characters in a story. As a matter of fact, you are characters in a story that has yet to be published. It won’t come out for another month or so.”

Leah took another swig of her drink and scratched the back of her head. “I still haven’t wrapped my brain around the fact that I’m sitting here, in Hogwarts with no way to get home. I’m sure the realization will hit me eventually. I suppose I should probably get back to my paper, instead of trying to rationalize all of this. I’m sure it’ll hit me soon enough.”

She put everything away but the leather-bound book and she tried to read it. Finally, she sat it on the table and put her head down on it. “Why couldn’t I have tripped and landed in Middle Earth? At least that place is full of hot elves and kings. I might have actually gotten myself laid there.”

“That would be as opposed to the trolls that live in Hogwarts?”

“No, not ‘as opposed to the trolls at Hogwarts’,” she mocked. “It just so happens that I got to meet a very handsome werewolf today,” she giggled as she looked up.

Severus snorted but did not reply. He soon went back to his book and Leah went back to hers. After another hour, and a little more than half of the bottle of vodka, Leah called Dobby again.

“Dobby, can you please bring me something to sleep in. I’m feeling a bit on the sleepy side now that I’m trashed.”

With an eager look on his face the little creature asked, “What would mistress like?”

She grinned at him and answered, “I think a pair of silk sleep pants and a wife beater will be sufficient. You know something that moves easy.”

Dobby disappeared with a pop. She chuckled at this. “What exactly is a ‘wife beater’; if I may be so bold to ask?”

Looking at the dark wizard, she raised an eyebrow. “You don’t know what a wife beater is?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “Do you think I would have asked such an idiotic question had I known?”

“Mmmm…” she answered, “I forgot, you’re English. Basically, it’s a men’s tank top under shirt.”

“Why not just call it that?”

“There are two reasons actually. First, because that’s rather a mouth full. Second, I just like the way it sounds.”

The house elf chose that moment to reappear and he handed her the clothes. She bowed slightly and thanked him before he disappeared. Turning back to the wizard, she asked, “Where can I change or should I just go over there to the corner?”

He rolled his eyes and pointed to a door on the far side of the room. Leah smiled sweetly. “Good. As you’ve already seen, modesty is not one of my finer qualities.”

It was just a few minutes later that she came back clad in Slytherin green silk sleep pants and a tight wife beater. She stretched out on the warm hearth rug with her arms above her head, one hand clasped around the other wrist. The tank rode just above her bellybutton and her navel ring glinted in the firelight.

Her slim hip bones stuck out while she lay in this position with the pants hanging precariously low. Leah took several deep breaths and slowed her breathing. It was not long before she looked to be sleeping peacefully. Looked to be were the operative words.

Severus watched her as she lay there. He could not figure out why Albus would torture him with this young woman. It was obvious that no man had ever put her in her place by her language and her reaction to everything. It was also very obvious to him that even though she was not comfortable in what she claimed to be her younger body, that her twenty-five year old self oozed confidence and sexuality. She already had the damnable werewolf under her thumb after only a few minutes in his presence. He snorted in disgust.

“Find something amusing?” She asked, though she’d never given any indication of her state of sleep.

Before he could answer, she arched her back and legs up in a very feline full body stretch before rolling over and looking up at him. His eyes were wide with shock that he, after almost twenty years of spying, had been fooled by her. Leah smirked. “What? You didn’t really think I was asleep, did you?”

Her eyes widened as he scowled at her. “You did! Oh my stars and garters!” She exclaimed as she begun to giggle.

“Severus Snape, spy extraordinaire, fooled by a seventeen year old meditating!” Leah shook her head.

“Do you have a spare blanket and pillow? I’d hate to have to bother Dobby again.”

Snape got up, walked over to a closet and grabbed a quilt. He disappeared for a moment into another room and returned carrying a large fluffy pillow, which he threw at her. Leah may not have been the most graceful person in the world, but when it came to catching something, it was an automatic reflex. She snagged the pillow and then stuck her tongue out at the tall man before getting out of the floor and laying down on the couch. It was not long before she was asleep and gently snoring.

Sometime way before dawn, Leah was wakened by a loud explosion and cursing. She followed the noise to find her roommate standing in a puddle of electric blue goo and throwing things, muttering loud curses as he did so. She leaned against the door jamb and crossed her ankles. “Need a hand,” she asked with a smirk.

“No I bloody well…” Snape began answering before whirling around, realizing that he’d woke Leah. “What are you smiling at?”

“Just the emotionless potions master throwing a tantrum,” she retorted. “You sound like my dad having a conniption because he can’t find something.”

She just shook her head and made her way to the bathroom where she found a towel and took it back to the small lab. “How volatile is the mess you’ve made?”

He raised a goo covered eyebrow. “What would you know about potions?”

Rolling her eyes, she answered, “I have taken a chemistry class or two. I do know the basic concept. That, and there’s a reason you are wearing gloves.”

Throwing the towel at him Leah commented, “It can’t be that caustic or the skin on your face would have melted off. I can see it now on the front page of the Prophet: Severus Snape, Potions Master at Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardry and Bastard of the Dungeons died today from a potions explosion. The only witness said his last words were, ‘I’m melting!’”

The reference to that old muggle movie was not lost on him. Severus growled at the young woman’s back as she retreated and he stalked to the shower in his lab hoping that the mess he’d made didn’t stain his skin as potions were wont to do that contained Lobelia petals.

She turned around and walked back into the sitting room to summon Dobby. “Can you bring me a pot of coffee? I’d like it strong, if you could, Dobby.”

It was just a few minutes before the house elf brought her a kettle of coffee and a cup. She poured herself a cup and took a sip. Her eyes drifted closed and a smile blossomed on her face. She sat there for some time relishing in the best cup of coffee she’d ever had. With a happy sigh she opened her eyes to see Severus emerge from his lab clean, wearing fresh clothes. “Coffee?”

He didn’t bother to answer her as he summoned himself a cup to pour the bitter liquid in. He grimaced after his first sip. “How do you drink this so strong?”

“I like my coffee like I like my men, hot and strong.”

Severus snorted at her comment. Leah giggled at his reaction. “Seriously though, I grew up in a house of coffee drinkers. It was always better to get it too strong than for it to be too weak.”

She poured herself another cup and wrapped her hands around the cup. When she was done, Dobby reappeared to retrieve the kettle and the cup. “Dobby, do you know what Dumbledore is going to do about me getting some more clothes?”

The small being smiled at her. “Oh yes Mistress Leah. Master Professor Dumbledore is having Dobby bring you some today. Would you like me to go get them now?”

“I would be grateful if you would,” she said as she smiled warmly at the little creature.

Severus watched the interaction with mild surprise. After Dobby disappeared he said, “Most muggles would run screaming from a creature like Dobby. You don’t seem to harbor any fear.”

She waved him off. “Nah, I’m so used to weird stuff that nothing surprises me any more. Besides, in my world, I know all about house elves and other magical beings.

“You forget you are but a fairy tale where I’m from.”

“Please, do tell me about these children’s books. Who are the main characters? What idiocy does Mr. Potter get into in them?”

“Well, as I’ve said before, it is a series of seven books chronicling the fight between the dark and the light. Obviously, the main player is Harry Potter and his struggle to basically figure out his place in the wizarding world as he trains to fight the Dark Lord.

“The main characters in the first book are Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the teachers here. You are actually a pivotal character. The trio thinks that you are trying to steal the sorcerer’s stone, but it’s actually Voldemort, who’s attached to Professor Quirrell’s head.”

Severus raised an elegant eyebrow. “So basically, it tells his story, then?”

“Yes, it tells his trials and triumphs as he grows and matures. The sixth book had been advertised as coming out in July, before I ended up here. I’m pretty sad that I won’t get to know who the half-blood prince is,” she added to herself.

Their conversation waned and Dobby brought her some clothes. Leah padded into the bathroom and showered. She took her time and enjoyed letting the steam envelope her. As she looked around she shook her head in disbelief. Everything was still fresh on her mind and she still had not wrapped her head around the fact that she tripped over her own big feet and landed head first in a book.

This line of thinking led her to think about her plight. Leah was trapped. She arrived by accident and was almost certain that was going to be the only way she could get back. After three quarters of an hour, she stepped out of the bathroom in a pair of black drawstring Capri’s and a purple tank top. She felt better and her head was clear. “So, my early rising friend, what time is breakfast? I could use another cup or two of coffee!”

Severus mumbled something about smart-mouthed girls and not having any friends before he checked his pocket watch and said, “Breakfast is always at seven, so you have about half an hour.”

“Good. That’ll give me plenty of time to see if I can make my way out of this maze. I’ll see you at breakfast, Professor.”

Before she could grab her back pack, he grumbled, “You shouldn’t be wandering about the castle alone.”

“Don’t you worry your greasy little head; I can take care of myself when I need to.”

With that comment and a wink, Leah slipped through the portrait hole and into the hall. She made her way out of the dungeons easily enough and met Albus as she was walking into the great hall. “Morning Albus,” she said as he opened the door and let her slip through.

He smiled benignly. “And good morning to you too, Leah. I trust you slept well?”

He pulled her chair out for her, then took his own seat. “I slept fine until sometime before daylight when I was rudely awakened.”

At that moment, Remus entered the hall and sat beside Leah with a quiet ‘morning’. Severus followed him only moments later. Pomona Sprout entered a few minutes later grumbling about something in the greenhouses. As their breakfast appeared, Albus queried, “You were saying that you were awakened rudely this morning, Leah?”

She smiled as she took a sip of her coffee. “Yes, I was sleeping peacefully on the couch enjoying a rather vivid dream when there was a loud explosion. Needless to say, I was completely awake in less than a second and what met my ears next was a string of rather colorful expletives. So, I had to investigate. It seems that the castle misanthrope is a very early riser.”

Her last statement garnered a chuckle from everyone but Snape as all eyes turned to him. “A potion exploded,” he grumbled glaring at Leah.

She batted her eyes at him and turned back to Albus. “A potion exploded. When I walked in, I almost expected to hear him screaming that he was melting.”

Remus shot milk through his nose recognizing the reference to the Wizard of Oz. “Dammit!” he muttered into his napkin as he wiped his face.

Leah leaned over and whispered, “Be glad it wasn’t coffee or tea.”

Albus chuckled at the young woman and the effect she was having on a certain werewolf. “So,” she asked the old wizard, “what am I going to get to do today?”

He sat for a moment staring into his tea. “Actually, if you’d like to assist Professor Sprout in the greenhouses, I’m sure she’d appreciate it.”

Excitement glittered in her eyes as she looked from the short dumpy witch to Dumbledore. “Really? Oh that would be perfect! Will we be working with herbs, Professor Sprout?”

The witch looked up from her breakfast. “We can. I don’t really have anything specific planned at the moment.”

Leah giggled with glee as she took her last sip of coffee. “I can’t wait. There’s just something about getting in the dirt and doing something constructive. What time do you want me to meet you and where?”

Instantly liking the young woman’s gusto, Professor Sprout answered, “We can just meet here in the great hall right after lunch if that’s alright with you.”

“That would be perfect!”

With her pack slung over her shoulder, Leah decided that she’d explore the grounds of Hogwarts. She took her time wandering the immense area and finally decided to take a rest under a large oak tree by the lake. She called for Winky and soon had a quilt to sit on. In no time, Leah was lost in her notes for her paper and in the brilliant sun of the June day.

Eventually, she got bored reading and stretched out on the quilt, putting the book over her face. Leah reveled in the sounds of the Scottish summer. Her solitude was encroached upon entirely too soon for her, though. “Mind if I have a seat?” Asked a deep gravelly voice, one she knew immediately belonged to Remus Lupin.

She pulled the book away from one eye and raised her eyebrow. “Be my guest,” she answered as she replaced the book.

He sat down on the quilt near her. “What are you doing?”

Without moving the book, she answered, “I’m reading by osmosis.”

He chuckled and asked, “How are you finding Hogwarts?”

She removed the book from her face and sat up facing him. “It’s…It’s still a bit surreal. I mean, who trips down the steps and lands amongst her favorite story characters?”

He noticed she was picking at a stray thread as she said this. “Do you miss your old life?”

Leah looked up into his warm amber eyes. “Sort of. I mean, I feel like I’ve been given a second chance at growing up. That’s not to say I did anything wrong between the time I turned 17 and when I fell, but there were a lot of nights that I sat in bed wondering what I’d do different if I could have the time back.”

“Tell me what you miss most about your twenty-five year old life.”

“Besides the incredible sex the twenty-five year old me had, well, that’s easy. I miss my bed partner.”

He made a face somewhere between a scowl and a quizzical look. “So you were…attached then?”

“Oh, no! There was nobody special or exclusive in my life. I miss my dog, Spazz.”

For a moment, a look of relief came over his face. “What kind of dog is he?”

Leah looked off into the distance. “She is a Mastiff. She’s big and beefy and smart and she was the best bed partner I think I’ve ever had. That’s to say she’s the best at warming up my pillow for me on those long cold nights. She always wakes me with a small whine and a kiss on the forehead. And, just like most dogs, she knows the exact moment to nudge me and give me one of her pitiful looks when she knows I’m down. It always led to her crawling in my lap and me telling her my problems.”

Tears glistened in her eyes as Leah recounted her mostly solitary life with her best friend. Well, she had friends, best friends like Mike and Sherry, but she’d long ago stopped pouring her heart out to them because they really didn’t understand. They got just enough information to be satisfied that their friend wasn’t going to lose her mind again and try something stupid like an overdose.

Remus leaned forward and clasped her hand in comfort. He could tell that whether she admitted it or not, she was missing home. She looked down at the rough, calloused hand over hers and smiled, causing a single tear to slide down her cheek. It was almost instantly wiped away by a work roughened thumb. “I understand,” was all he said.

With a shake of her head and a sniff, the young woman smiled at him. She moved to sit beside him and look out upon the lake. “So,” he asked as he cleared his throat, “what have you been reading? That book is obviously well worn so it must be your favorite.”

“It used to be my favorite, but now I don’t know. It’s almost to the point that I can recite it front to back, all three books.”

She picked up the leather bound tome and lightly stroked the feather sticking out of the top. “It’s Tolkein’s The Lord of the Rings. I’m writing a thesis on the homosexual undertones throughout the trilogy. It’ll put me one step closer to my Masters degree.”

The look of surprise on his face was endearing to Leah. “Can classic literature like that even be skewed to the point that one could assume there are those undertones?”

She giggled. “I forget. In my time Lord of The Rings is pop culture. These classic books have been mauled and hacked into graphically stunning movies. So, yes, they’ve been analyzed and picked apart to the point that there are definitely are gay undertones if you know where to look.

“If you think about it, there are two men, a wizard, four hobbits, an elf and a dwarf traipsing out across the country with no maidens in sight. Most men either want to fuck or they want to fight. Oh and there is a lot of fighting in this book. It’s only logical that somewhere behind the scenes they’re fucking, and since there aren’t any maidens in sight, they must be fucking each other. Well, that’s the logic a lot of people use. But enough about my stuffy old book and this stuffy old paper. What is there to do around here? I’m getting extremely bored and a bored Leah gets into trouble.”